The Ties that Bind

The end of the year and beginning of another is the usual time to reflect back over the past before thinking of where you want to go in the future. But moving forward can mean cleaning up loose ends and detaching from limitations that include detrimental energetic cords to people, places and things that would keep you stuck.

Energy Cords 

Whenever you are in close proximity to others, when you are interacting or communicating, energy flows between you. When you are even thinking of someone, the thought and any related emotions are sent out on an energetic beam to that person, who may or may not be aware of it. A strong focused energy beam especially through concentration, a desire to effect that person, or a strong emotion can create a cord. Some cords are temporary and fade away when you are no longer thinking of them or the emotion dies away. But if you have a significant or continued interaction with someone as with a family member, lover or friend that energy beam and the connecting point/s can take on a more permanent structure. Thoughts, intentions and emotions can pass either way along the cord. Cords are created both by you, and by others that attach to you. 

Energetic cords can be to anyone or anything – people, pets, places, homes, possessions, jobs, positions, physical abilities, and even your sense of self. Repetitive thoughts or lingering emotions, positive or negative, can indicate the presence of a cord. These can be attached to one or more chakras, organs, or some other part of the body.

Cords allow you to psychically tune in to others. This is helpful for successful communication, sales, therapy or healing work. For example, I deliberately create an energetic connection from my third eye with every client, student or audience member so I can better understand their needs and be of service. But at the same time, I create a link to the earth to be grounded, and from my crown chakra to my spiritual guidance and healing energy so I am guided in what to say and do to be of service. Because I am connected to the Source of healing energy as with Reiki work, I am replenished even as energy flows from me to them. 



Such cords need to be released after a session. I do this by washing my hands with the intention of turning over the care of my clients to the heavens, or taking a shower at the end of the day with the intention of releasing anyone else’s energy or cords from me. While you sending healing energy out along the cord, you are protected. But when you are done with the session, the emotions, energy and issues of your client can back up into you especially when you are sleeping. 

Cords explain how mothers can know when their offspring are in danger. I myself have been awoken at night with a nightmare that was not my own, but rather represented the fears of someone close to me. I was dreaming his dream.

Beneficial cords create a satisfying feeling of connection, mutual accord, love and joy. They are bonding. But should the relationship end, when something you valued is lost and gone, or when negative emotions enter in such as anger, grief, hurt or jealousy, the related cords can drain your life force, possibly effect your health and equilibrium, and keep you stuck. Cords to old lovers or cords that your former lovers still have attached to you can block or sabotage a new relationship. You may have broken up years ago, but if you or the other party are still angry, resentful, wanting to get revenge or get together, those cords are still attached. Detrimental cords such as those put there with a desire to possess, control or manipulate are destructive whether ritualized or not through magic must be severed.

Cords to possessions can explain hoarding. These cords may represent attachment to more than just to things, but consciously or unconsciously to the memories, people, places those things, or the feelings of security or safety they represent. You know when a cord is there because removing the thing can feel like something is being ripped out of you. Look underneath the emotion. What is it that the object/s represent to you? Is there another way you can keep the good feelings without the things?

Between romantic partners there can be multiple cords, even one attached to each chakra. This creates a close bond. But if the relationship ends, each cord will have to be cut. If one party doesn’t want to let the other go, the one wanting to leave may have to cut the cords to the former partner multiple times – as often as they feel the pull from the ex. 

Bonding of any kind indicates cords. Cords between parents and children are normal and helpful. But the parents have to allow such cords to loosen and stretch so that offspring can grow and move away as adults and live their own lives. This is true with any relationship that changes over time. 

Cords to your neighborhood can give you a sense of place, of being rooted, of belonging somewhere. But if you cannot stay, or if a good opportunity comes along that requires moving elsewhere, it can cause you to feel torn. That torn feeling is an indication of cords pulling you in opposite directions. Unable to sell your house? Maybe you haven’t released the cord that connects you. Maybe the house doesn’t want to let you go. 

Cords can also exist to who you used to be and what you used to have that now can prevent you from being happy in the moment and enjoying or finding the good that is available to you now. This is part of grief – grief over aging or becoming disabled, retiring from a position of power or belonging, of losing your house, or having to move out of your home into a retirement community.

The problem of letting go

Years ago I heard a story of how they catch wild monkeys. Seems that monkeys like bananas. So hunters would hollow out a coconut shell, insert a banana and tie it to a long cord. When a monkey would find the banana, it would stick it’s hand into the shell, grab it’s hand around the fruit to pull it out. But with it’s fist now curled around the fruit, it was too big to pull out of the hole. That’s when the hunter would reel in the rope now with the monkey attached. While the monkey could easily have released it’s grip on the banana in order to free it’s hand from the trap, it would not let go, and so was caught.

How many of us are likewise caught because we have something and will not let go even if it kills us because we don’t know of anything better or have the hope of obtaining it instead. We are attached to what we have  and what we know, to a sense of space, to community or circle of friends, to familiar surroundings, to our routines, to our possessions, to our sense of self that may be tied up in all these things. We may not be enthusiastic about what we have, but it is what we have so we won’t let go. This is not bad because it gives us stability and support to focus our attention on other things that give us meaning and purpose until we determine what we would rather have.

The ties that bind only become a problem when they do not allow for growth, for expansion of our spirit, our soul. 

Letting go is easy when you clearly see that you are getting something better. 

Here, I’ll trade your nickel for my dollar bill. Want it? Easy, right? 

My son and his wife recently sold between a third to a half of their possessions, many of which they had recently purchased, and a big, beautiful house they loved to move into another house one-third the size and one-third more expensive so that he could take a good job and they could live their dream life on the California coast. And they pulled it off in 1 1/2 months. They were selling, donating, giving away, throwing out a good deal of the house contents because they had a reason. And while it was physically daunting to get everything done on time, it was emotionally possible to let go, and find the energy to pull it off because they were excited about what they were moving towards. They were clear in their minds about why.

Moving forward means detaching from whatever would hold you back

I started this blog saying that moving forward can mean cleaning up loose ends, and detaching from limitations that include detrimental energetic cords to anything that would keep you stuck.

Pay attention to your energy levels and start to identify what seems to cause a change in your mood, your vitality and zest for life. Are there any detrimental cords to people, places or things? How do they effect you? What is the price you are paying for keeping them? Can any stagnant cords connected to what still has value be stretched and loosened sufficiently to allow you to move into greater expansion of your spirit and joy? How can you do that?

What do you want instead? Imagine that vividly. Where are you being pulled that seems to have a brighter energy and where even thinking about it lifts your spirit? Move toward it, and explore how you feel as you get closer and more involved. And finally, pull closer to those ties that support and nurture you even as you pursue your dreams.

Copyright 1/1/2020 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links are included to and .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: