Releasing Anger – example

A Practical Application

The bad news is that when you write a book on Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone, the focus required to write a book may bring about an experience to apply what you know (or think you do). The good news is that you do know something to harness that energy constructively and then move it out of your system more quickly than you did in the past. Think of it as an exam. Do you know what you are talking about or not? Is it just an intellectual or a practical knowing? Is there more yet to learn?

So one week ago a tenant, as she was moving out of my house, left water running. Gallons of water poured down from the second floor bathroom to the first floor living room, and down to the basement below. Rugs, a mattress, books, furniture and other things got wet. Now almost half of the living room ceiling has to be replaced, drywall dust is everywhere. And as much as possible things were boxed up and moved out of the living room along with the furniture. Likewise, two basement rooms were disrupted in order to mop up the water, and get things out of harm’s way. So not only is my living room unusable but so is the dining room and hall, and those two basement rooms as well. 

Immediately taking a long view of the problem, I knew that regardless of how much time, energy, work and out-of pocket expense would be involved, regardless of the bad timing and other demands upon me both health wise and financially, the problem would be eventually fixed, and the house would be restored to it’s former beauty. In other words, the problem was temporary. That tenant is now fully gone from my house, and I have a new, wonderful person living here and other workmen helping me clean up the mess.

I knew that I needed to harness the anger into constructive action. So I called people to get the help and advice I needed, and start or supervise the work. I did a lot of the Infinite Intelligence Process to both dump stress and access the wisdom within. I did EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), dowsing for emotional healing, and meditation because I did not want the anger to poison me or cause me to get more sick. I wanted any possible contributory factors healed. And I also did not want to project my anger back to my former tenant as it would then be a curse on her head. And because I believe that we are all connected, what I send out comes back to me.

I focused on what I had to be grateful for. I asked myself what I could learn and grow from this experience, how I could prevent something like this happening in the future, and what I might have done differently that could have (but not necessarily would have) prevented the damage occurring. In other words, I was actively looking to pull a blessing out of the experience. 

Then I wrote a letter to my tenant to get everything off of my chest because she took no responsibility for her actions and was instead blaming me. I felt it necessary that she understand the ramifications of her negligence so she is more careful elsewhere. This stopped the conversations looping in my head.

I hired someone to repair the damage and then paint the entire living room ceiling. I found someone to clean when the construction and painting are done. And I am getting a record of expenses in case I go to court to collect damages. In other words, I did everything I could. Now, it is just a matter of getting the work completed. 

I learned long ago that groaning over damage done is a waste of precious energy that you need to stay healthy and address the problem. Complaining to people who cannot help you is one thing as an immediate, very short vent, but counterproductive otherwise. Best to talk only to those that can offer some good information and advice. Blaming her or blaming myself wasn’t going to be helpful. Using the problem as an excuse for not doing something else would also be counterproductive.

I would have loved to had someone just hold me. But since I don’t have a partner, I grabbed a cat and snuggled with him. I sat with my piggies. I hugged my dogs. I looked up at the sky. I picked up and talked to the toads. I noticed some of the abundant sweetness that is on my farm. I remembered that I am loved, that I have meaning and purpose in this world, that this is a beautiful place, and I am choosing to be alive and present. 

At other times and places, I may have made love, watched funny movies, gone dancing or done something nice with friends just to discharge energy and regroup. But what is important is that you actively do something. There is always something still left to enjoy and appreciate—even a memory to lift your spirit. 

Did I pass? I think so. Will I do things differently in future? Yes. Will I forget the lessons? No. Can what I learned help someone else? Yes, I think so.

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