Recently someone called me for my professional help. Unfortunately, he called at a very bad time. While I said that I couldn’t help him that moment or even that day, nonetheless, I would him back later to get more information on what he wanted. I suggested something he do in the meantime that might be helpful.
Before we hung up, he sensed something off in my energy, and asked me if I was going through something. I said that ‘yes’ I was dealing with major technological issues with a computer program. [I was right in the middle of designing a new cover for one of my books, and the page kept flipping off the screen, the font and all type settings kept switching to a default setting I didn’t want, and I was going bonkers with trying to get it done for a meeting with the printer today. It had been working on it for hours. I was also pressed for time because I had to finish the cover before I could close down the computer, and late to get out the door to feed and lock up my farm animals for the night. I had spent the entire week searching for a 194 page manuscript that a computer repairman had deleted from my back up hard drive along with 30 years worth of other writing including books, charts, manuals, correspondence . He was able to retrieve only a portion of it.] So, yes, I was stressed and the tension must have been in my voice.
There had been other major problems, but I didn’t want to go into it. After all, this was not a friend or relative, not someone I even knew, and certainly, you do not ever discuss your personal issues with clients or potential ones.
Anyway, when I called him back, he said that following my suggestion he now felt great. But now he wanted to ‘share’ what he picked up on me and tell me how to deal with it. The problem was that I hadn’t asked for his help. I had not given him permission to dowse or tune in with me to do a psychic reading. But because I felt that he was probably a good, decent, kind hearted man just wanting to be helpful, I was polite instead of rudely cutting him off. Nonetheless, the interchange bothered me.
This minor incident brings up some guidelines that we need to talk about in the dowsing community.
Here’s what bothered me:
- Unsolicited dowsing or psychic readings are a form of snooping, spying, and are not ethical. They are an invasion of privacy.
- They are a betrayal of trust that others respect your psychic boundaries, and negate building a relationship with them in the future.
- It is presumptuous that anyone without taking the time to do a detailed, lengthy interview could possibly know what is going on in someone else’s life or advise them.
- It can be considered arrogant to tell someone how they might address their problems without knowing all the details from a lengthly conversation–
- what they already know,
- what they have already been doing about it,
- and what the results have been.
- Otherwise you are insulting them.
While psychics and empaths may have no training or professional guidelines to follow, dowsers who have undergone any training program of value have been told that
- you must have permission to dowse by the person for whom you are going to dowse in advance– not by their friend or spouse, but the person himself or the person with legal custody or authority has to initiate the request. You do not dowse first, and then ask to share later. If you haven’t been asked, you don’t dowse at all!
ONLY AFTER BEING ASKED, do you should proceed to ask what you consider Divine Spirit:
- ‘Can I, May I, Should I’?
But, I repeat YOU MUST BE ASKED to dowse! Some people skip this. DON’T.
Good intentions are NOT good enough.
Remember, that accuracy in all dowsing and intuitive work comes after a long, period of hard work. You may think you are getting permission from your true spiritual guidance to dowse or do a reading, but that thought can also come from your ego, trickster energy, not high level guidance. It is important to practice discernment in selecting someone to work with. If I don’t know you, or know you well enough to have earned my trust and confidence, I don’t want you dowsing for me.
Further, you may think that you know what someone is feeling and why they are feeling that way and what to do about it because it resonates with something within you. But your thoughts are about you and your history, not about the other person.
COULDA, WOULDA, SHOULDA
From every situation, there is much to learn.
VENTING EXERCISE – Writing a letter you do NOT send.
While this entire blog post is a vent for me of something I have observed for a while, I thought it might potentially be something that could help you as well. Hence, I posted it.
In retrospect, here what I could or should have said:
“Thank you for wanting to be of assistance. But I don’t know you or your qualifications before I would feel comfortable launching into the details. Nor do I have the time to do so now. It is also a violation of my professional code of ethics to discuss any personal issues with clients or potential ones.
I would have preferred if you had first asked me for permission to ___ (dowse/ tune into me psychically). As it is, I am somewhat uncomfortable. I feel as if was a violation of my privacy even though you are now asking for permission to share what you found. While I feel that you are good, kind-hearted person just wanting to help, I do not want to go into what is going on.
If you want to be of service, I would appreciate it if you would simply bless me by holding a positive vision of me ____ (sorting out all of my technical issues so that books are beautifully and professionally printed to great acclaim, etc.). For that, I would be grateful. Thank you.”
In my book, Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone, and the workshops that I am teaching both at the Heartland Hypnosis Conference in St. Louis, Missouri on April 29, and the HypnoExpo in Daytona Beach, Florida on May 17, I recommend writing a letter to fully ventilate everything you WANTED to say but didn’t, and wished that you had.
Get it all out in the most truthful, blunt manner. Then go back over and refine it to get to the core issue/s. If you later will want, need, or expect to talk to this person later, your un-mailed letter will have clarified the crux of what bothered you, and what you want instead so that your next conversation can be more productive.
Once done, you can move on to a THANK YOU NOTE you also do NOT send.
This makes you cognizant of what you learned as a result of the unpleasant interchange (and there is ALWAYS something of value to be gained). When you can acknowledge that you learned or grew a lot perhaps out of necessity, perhaps out of personal commitment to do so, or perhaps just as a natural response to the situation, it assists you to then release any negative emotions regarding that experience. Ask yourself the question, “What can I learn from this to ____ (be better, grow, improve my ____)?” “How could I have handled it better?” Then write down as many things as you can think of.
“Dear ______, thank you for inspiring me with material for this blog article.
Thank you for helping me ____ (learn to, forgive myself for, clarify, set better boundaries, speak up for myself, stop conversations immediately when they are spiraling downwards, come up with a helpful strategy to use next time, etc.)____.
WHAT About the Other Guy? What could he have done differently?
There are always times when we sense that something is ‘off’ when we are speaking with someone. It can be as simple as they are in the middle of something, they have someone on the other phone line, or are running out to an appointment, or the cat just vomited on the rug, etc.
There is no problem asking, but leave it alone if the other person does not want to talk about it, or talk to you, or then, or ___. Do not pursue it through dowsing or any psychic means. Rather just hold a positive image of them at their best – happy, healthy, centered, etc.
- “Is this a bad time? Would you like to call me back? Can I give you my phone number and you call me when it is a good time?”
- “You sound ___ (stressed, tired, etc.). Are you okay? Would you like to talk about it?”
- “I am a ___ (dowser, empath, psychic, etc.). Would you like my assistance to check on something for you?
- “Can I help you in any way?”
Post Script: By the way, those familiar with the Law of Attraction, may have noted that I am speaking on Releasing Anger at two conferences coming up shortly. So the Universe has given me an opportunity to practice what I preach and to further expand upon the exercises I had already planned for the classes. The Universe has such a sense of humor!!!
For more information on Ethics see the blog articles below. Even while I talk about dowsing, these ethical considerations apply to any form of counseling, hypnosis, or therapeutic work:
Dowsing Ethics —“Above all, do no harm”
Dowsing Ethics, Part 2: What Not to Do!
Copyright 3/28/2019 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.
Yet another conference is going virtual, but thrilled that it is still happening. HypnoBiz New York Conference this year is joining with other groups to be a huge collection of 64 presenters. For information, 
For information on the 154 page book, 
Hold the intention to clear any other experiences you do not remember whether in this lifetime or another. 
I knew that I needed to harness the anger into constructive action. So I called the appropriate people to get the help and advice I needed, and start and supervise the work. 
Unlimited Potential Healing Center 
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