When You Are Triggered…

With todays highly charged politics and a media that panders to fear and sensationalism, it is easy to get triggered. Already stressed out with the pressures of your own life, and overwhelmed with everything you need to do to keep your life afloat, you may find yourself emotionally worked up over someone else’s life or problem because it resonances with something deep inside of yourself.

Because of your own history and sensitivities, you may automatically sympathize with one person, group, issue or cause you think is a victim of injustice, and get violently angry with another you prejudge as aggressor frequently before you know all the facts and even despite the ‘facts’. That is because your emotions are really about you and something similar that has happened to you, your loved ones, ancestors or tribe in this lifetime or the distant past that was never resolved, healed and put to rest. 

Whether you are particularly sensitive to the slightest hint of racial, religious, gender, tribal, national or ethnic prejudice, the trauma and injustice of the past may be hard wired into your DNA. You may have absorbed and taken upon yourself the injustices done to your ancestors long since dead (even generations or centuries dead) as if it happened to you personally.  

A sure hint that the root cause of your upset lies within yourself is when your emotional reaction is excessive to the current situation, when you can’t let it go, when it doesn’t really effect your personal life, and when it happened long ago, perhaps even before you were born.

Every emotional reaction you experience, every evil and type of  injustice that exists today, has occurred before, many times over, and often, many times worse. But because it is occurring again, you suffer much more than perhaps the current situation warrants. If you can heal the prior occasions, your reaction will be only to what is happening now, not added on top of what happened years, generations or lifetimes ago. 

What to do about it

When you are triggered by events whether personal, local, national or global, try to:

  • Identify the issue or type of event. Name it.

List some possibilities on paper. If you know how to dowse, then ask if you have any stuck energies on that issue, and the percentage or the degree to which you do. If you don’t know how to dowse, then quiet your mind, and in meditation start asking some questions. Suggestions are below.

  • What is underneath this upset?
  • Where did it come from?
  • Did it originate with me or with my family, my ancestors, my tribe?.
  • Show me the root cause.
  • What wisdom can I extract from it?
  • What positive things can be gleaned?
  • How can I use this situation to grow, to be a better person?
  • How can I turn it into a blessing for myself or others?
  • How can I look at this situation so it doesn’t bother me nearly as much?
  • What is the big picture here?  

Hold a willingness to look honestly at yourself. Intend to extract some wisdom or value from both the current event and any experiences of a similar nature. That learning can include an understanding the underlying dynamics, why something may have happened, and perhaps an idea to prevent it from happening again or lessen that possibility. It might mean noting that changes need to be made within yourself even if changes are needed within the larger community.

  • Rather than immediately assigning blame of who is wrong and needs to be punished, consider that what you judge may also reflect a quality inside yourself.

Doreen Virtue taught me to say: “I recognize and forgive in myself what irritates me about you.”

This is related to ‘the shadow self explained at length by psychiatrist, Dr. Carl Gustav Jung and author Debbie Ford. The ego avoids self loathing by denying the existence of faults within the self while projecting those same faults onto someone else. There is a theory that when internal faults that are hidden, ignored, or denied, that this will attract people who share these faults as the soul’s attempt to get you to look at yourself. As you admit your own faults and forgive yourself, you will have greater tolerance of others. Even better, as you heal those faults, you will more likely attract others who have likewise worked on healing their own issues.

The ancient Hawaiians had a practice of forgiveness and reconciliation called Ho’oponopono.  This practice was later simplified by Dr. Hew Lin and popularized by Joe Vitale. In the original practice, a shaman and members of the family or community would gather around a person and take responsibility for what had happened to or by that individual, and ask for his forgiveness. While he was a  prison psychiatrist, Dr. Lin would sit with the file folders of various inmates and repeat “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” This was done over a period of time without actual inmate contact. Yet this simple practice resulted in such improvement in these prisoners that they were later released.

If practicing Ho’oponopono without relaying that information to an individual still has a positive effect upon that person, it may because of quantum entanglement. While the idea taken from physics of quantum entanglement refers to the interaction of particles at a distance, some think that this interaction extends to humans as well – that everyone and everything is somehow intertwined. Is it too far a stretch to think that what happens to you effects me and vice versa, and maybe even what I think and feel effects you and vice versa? If so, then if you want to change the world, start with changing yourself.

However, if you also believe that changes have to be made within the community and it’s systems or the larger systems outside your locale, take some constructive action because it will go a long way to healing your upset.

  • Focus on what you can do of a positive, practical nature locally to start the process. 
  • And, again remember that the changes you would like to see in the world involve making changes within yourself.
  • Meditate or dowse to transmute any trauma or upset you personally suffered recently.
  • Clear any other experiences you remember from your past.
  • 20170516_acc-morecover.jpgHold the intention to clear any other experiences you do not remember whether in this lifetime or another.

You can do this through hypnosis, meditation, the Emotion Code, or the Infinite Intelligence Process that I developed. See my book, Accessing More for instructions on how to do this.   

  • Clear those upsets/issues of a similar nature of your ancestors in this lifetime or another, and that experienced by your tribe.


Again, you can do this through the Infinite Intelligence Process, the Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson, or through dowsing (see my pendulum dowsing manual, Therapeutic Dowsing and Telepathic Healing).

  • dowsing cover front
    R
    efocus on the positive opposite that you would like instead.
  • Finally, take action no matter how small to move towards what you would like to see in the real world.  

Recent Example

Let’s take the high emotional charge attached to the Kavanaugh proceedings. I bring it up only because it was recent and because I found myself being triggered. I will not discuss the politics or merits of either side, but rather illustrate how to take any triggering event to recognize and clear non-beneficial or stuck energies within yourself. This is important because if you are being triggered, you cannot be objective or think clearly,  sleep easily, enjoy peace of mind or anything else until you do heal, transmute, rebalance, or clear it.
There were multiple possible issues here. If you were triggered, you might ask yourself, if you are carrying any unresolved, stuck energies of your own from this or any other lifetime, or if you are carrying those of an ancestor, loved one, or tribe.
Ask the following questions one at a time starting with “have I ever …..?” After you are finished, repeat the same questions with ” have any of my loved ones..?” Next, ask “am I carrying any trauma from my ancestors regarding….?”
  • Have ____ (I, my loved ones, ancestors) ever been assaulted or lived in fear of same?
  • Have  ____ (I, my loved ones, ancestors) suffered sexual abuse, rape, or fear of same?
  • Have ____ (I, my loved ones, ancestors) been a victim of violent crime?
  • Have ____ (I, my loved ones, ancestors) suffered greatly because of not being believed, but rather ridiculed or punished for speaking up about some wrongdoing?
  • Have ____ (I, my loved ones, ancestors) suffered greatly because of not being heard or fear of not being heard because ____ (I ___ am/was), they ____ (are/were) ___ a (man/woman, member of lower standing caste/group/tribe)?
  • Have ____ (I, my loved ones, ancestors) ever suffered after being falsely accused of some misdoing, crime or serious violation?
  • Has ____ (my, my loved one’s, ancestor’s) reputation, business, standing in the community been destroyed because of false accusations perhaps through politics or someone else’s dislike or personal agenda? 
  • Have ____ (I, my loved ones, ancestors) received threats or  ___ (suffered, been captured, imprisoned, tortured, or killed) because of false accusations?
If so, then in  meditative state, hold the clear intention as follows. If you know how to dowse,  then work with a pendulum to indicate your progress. 
  •  “There is a part of my being that knows what positive learning I can extract from any this experience of ____ that ___ (I/they) have suffered (or was afraid of suffering). Take action now, and let me know when that is done.
  • “There is a part of my Being that knows if I or anyone close to me in this or another incarnation have ever suffered _____ or lived in fear of suffering ____. And that part is extracting the positive learning from each and every one of those experiences so that it is unnecessary to ever experience it again. Take action now, and let me know when that is done.” dowsing cover front
  • There is a part of my Being that can transmute, heal, and clear all trauma attached to each of these experiences that I and my ancestors have had, so that there is no longer any need to attract more of these experiences. Take action now, and let me know when that is done.”
  • Envision the positive opposite in the future as if it already exists. Follow this with powerful affirmations statements while meditating or dowsing.

 

  • There is a part of my Being that knows what is mine to do to create a world where _____(there is trust and mutual respect) and is guiding and motivating me to take appropriate steps now.
  • or “There is a part of my Being that chooses to create a world where _____. And that part is working on it. Take action now, and let me know when that is firmly in process.”
  • “There is a part of my Being that knows who else might benefit from any of the healing we have done today and is reaching out to their High Self to duplicate whatever is useful in the way it is helpful and only helpful. Take action now, and let me know when that is done.”

Copyright 11/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

 

Releasing Anger Example

Applying what you know (or think you do!)

This is a rewrite of an article originally written and posted July 9, 2017

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The bad news is that when you write a book on anything, especially mine entitled Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone, the time of sustained focus required to write a book may bring about an experience to apply what you know (or think you do).

(Don’t you just love the Law of Attraction!)

The good news is that you do know (or should know) something to harness that energy constructively and then move it out of your system more quickly than you did in the past.

Think of it as the universe giving you AN EXAM. 

Here is an OPPORTUNITY to prove:

  • Do you know what you are talking about?
  • Or have you just been spouting nice sounding platitudes, airy-fairy nothings, intellectual but useless, impractical, untested, unproven ideas and information? 
  • Do your techniques actually work and make a positive difference?
  • Is there more yet to learn?
  • How can you set things up to avoid similar problems in the future?

So on June 29, 2017, a tenant, as she was moving out of my house, left water running in the upstairs bathroom. Gallons of water poured down from the second floor to the first floor living room, and down to the basement below. Rugs including a large Oriental, a mattress, books, furniture and other things got wet. Almost half of the living room ceiling had to be replaced, and as repairs were later made, drywall dust was everywhere. Most everything  had to be boxed up and moved out of the living room along with the furniture.

Likewise, two basement rooms were disrupted in order to mop up the water and get things out of harm’s way. So not only was my living room unusable for more than a month but so was the dining room and hall, and those two basement rooms as well. 

Immediately taking a long view of the problem, I knew that regardless of how much time, energy, work and out-of pocket expense would be involved, regardless of the bad timing and other demands upon me both health wise and financially, the problem would be eventually fixed, and the house would be restored to it’s former beauty. In other words, the problem was temporary. That tenant is now fully gone from my house, and I have a new, wonderful person living here. I had workmen who would help me clean up the mess.

fullsizeoutput_2cI knew that I needed to harness the anger into constructive action. So I called the appropriate people to get the help and advice I needed, and start and supervise the work.

In the meantime, I did a lot of the Infinite Intelligence Process that I wrote about in my book Accessing More to both dump stress and access my internal guidance and wisdom within.

I did EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), dowsing for emotional healing, and meditation because I did not want the anger to poison me or cause my health to further deteriorate. Plus, I wanted any and all possible contributory factors resolved.

I also did not want to project my anger back to my former tenant as it would then be a curse on her head. Because I believe that we are all connected, the corollary is that what I send out comes back to me.

To help shift my attention, I focused on what I had to be grateful for. What was left? What was good? 

  • Well, certainly the damage could have been much worse.
    • Luckily, I was only away from the house for an hour. Many other precious items in my living room and basement were not ruined even if some got wet, but would have been otherwise.
  • Help was immediately available. 
    • Two farm workers were here that day who immediately came in and helped move furniture, mop up the water, take the worst of the ceiling down, and set up fans to dry everything out to lessen the chance of mold.
    • I quickly located and hired a drywall laborer to reinstall new sheetrock and to paint.
    • A friend put me in touch with a cleaning lady who came after the ceiling was repaired. She helped me take down, wash and rehang all curtains in the living and dining room, wash, dust and vacuum everything on the ground floor and upstairs hallway. The net result was that I ended up with a much cleaner house.
    • My insurance agent came quickly, and although I did not file a claim for various reasons, I got the information I needed. 

Throughout the process, I asked myself:

  • What could I learn and how could I grow from this experience?
  • How I could prevent something like this happening in the future?
  • What I might have done differently that might have prevented it?

In other words, I was actively looking to pull a blessing out of the experience. 

To get all my anger and everything off of my chest I wrote a letter to my tenant. But after writing and rewriting it, I read it to a close friend who is also a lawyer for her input. What upset me most was that my tenant took no responsibility for her actions. Instead she was just blaming me. I felt it necessary that she understand the ramifications of her negligence so she be more careful elsewhere. This stopped the imaginary conversations of what I wished I said to her from continuing to loop in my head.

I learned long ago that:

  1. writing letters that you do not send acts as if you did. It allows you to get everything off of your chest as if you really did say what you wanted to say to them.
  2. pause before sending anything in writing, and then only if you must. Less is better. The written word lasts forever, where spoken ones are quickly forgotten.
  3. Groaning over damage done and what cannot therefore be changed (what’s done is done) is a waste of precious energy. You need to conserve that energy in order to stay healthy and to address the problem.
  4. Complaining to people who cannot help you is an immediate, very short term vent, but counterproductive otherwise.

In fact, complaining or venting beyond the immediate time frame can just be a

  • ploy for sympathy as the ‘victim‘.
  • It can be revenge by getting other people to hate your adversary as well.
  • It can be a substitute for any real action–an excuse not to do anything.
  • It can be justification for your own mistakes and
  • avoidance of any responsibility for what happened, and
  • avoidance of the need to change personally.

Best to talk only to those that can offer some good information and advice while remaining detached emotionally from your issue. And then listen with an open mind.

Only clear eyed, detached processing of everything that happened and why without jumping to attaching blame is helpful. Then accept what can not be changed, create an action plan, and get to work immediately. As you see progress, the quicker your rage will die down.

Personally, I would have loved to had someone just hold me. But since I don’t have a partner, I grabbed a cat and snuggled with him. I sat with my piggies. I hugged my dogs. I looked up at the sky. I picked up and talked to the toads. I noticed some of the abundant sweetness that is on my farm. I remembered that I am loved, that I have meaning and purpose in this world, that this is a beautiful place, and I am choosing to be alive and present. 

At other times and places, I may have made love, watched funny movies, gone dancing or done something nice with friends just to discharge energy and regroup. But what is important is that you actively do something.

There is always something still left to enjoy and appreciate—even a memory to lift your spirit. 

  • Did I pass? I think so.
  • Will I do things differently in future? Absolutely!
  • Will I forget the lessons? No.
  • Can what I learned help someone else? Yes, I know so.

Copyright 8/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

Civilizing Children to Civilize the World!

During times of staying with my son and family, and from the safe perspective of being a grandparent, I have watched my grandchildren from infancy to their current ages of 10, 7 and 5. I have witnessed how these children and their playmates learn to get what they want and how they deal with frustration and anger when they don’t. I have observed the efforts of my son and his wife as well as other parents of young children in curbing the aggressive, greedy, self-serving tendencies of their offspring. I have seen a progression of the parents struggling with telling their children: “no”, “don’t touch”, “don’t hit your brother/sister”, “you have to share”, “wait your turn”, “put your toys away”, “clean up your own mess”, “you’re in ‘time-out until you learn ___“, etc.  And I have reflected that all of this has interesting parallels to adult life and the world of politics.

A child’s first instinct is to grab for whatever they want whether it is good for them or not, whether it belongs to someone else, whether in grabbing it, it will be destroyed for everyone including themselves, or whether in doing it/taking it, it will be dangerous both for themselves and others. If they want it, they want it and go after it without much thought to consequences.

If they don’t succeed in getting what they want, or if another child wants it too, there can be a fight, a grab and run, a temper tantrum, or a lot of crying. There can be a real hissy fit–“if I can’t have what I want, then I am going to destroy whatever is nearby.” Or here is one also prevalent amongst grownups in neighborhood subdivisions: “If I can’t have it/do it, I am going to make sure you can’t either.”

I watched one child spend a lot of time building a very elaborate lego structure when a younger sibling innocently or without any thought took away a piece of the tower his older brother just built, whereupon the first child was so upset that he destroyed his own creation. I have witnessed the children lie about their wrongdoing to avoid punishment, maintain parental approval, or avoid diminishment of their own ego. I have also witnessed them trying to shift blame for their misdeeds onto a sibling. I have watched one child repeatedly trying to play off one parent with another–the classic divide and conquer strategy that is being used in identity politics today on both national and global levels. “If I can get those people to fight, they will be so busy that I’ll avoid punishment and get what I want.”

On the other hand, I have also noticed random acts of kindness, compassion, loving acts. I have seen one sibling sticking up for another, and fighting against perceived injustice.

But in the face of such aggressive and greedy natural proclivities, and surrounded by so much violence in movies, video games, and our culture, can parents really teach children to outgrow such tendencies to become adults that really think through the consequences of their actions, and to be able to avoid war and instead cooperate to solve the massive problems we face as a species?

The World Peace Game

Yesterday, I watched a documentary “World Peace and Other 4th Grade Achievements” on what one Charlottesville, Virginia teacher, Mr. John Hunter, is doing to teach children to think through dealing with the tough challenges of life. He does this through a game he designed 40 years ago called World Peace. Instead of attempting to protect children from the harsh realities of life (as if you really could), this game teaches children the importance of thinking through the consequences of their actions rather than just screaming in protest, rushing to attack, or retreating in fear. While teaching the importance of protecting and looking out for the common good of their ‘country’ and preserving their own resources, this five-day game also teaches negotiating skills, forming alliances to come together to solve common problems, the real cost of war and the value of finding other less costly and bloody solutions. 

In the film this award-winning educator and his 4th Grade students at Venable School in Charlottesville participate in an educational exercise he developed called “The World Peace Game,” now offered in 33 countries around the world. The film follows these nine- and ten-year-old students as they assume roles as world leaders responding to an ongoing series of real world military, economic, and environmental crises.

I recommend watching Hunter’s TED talk here: https://www.ted.com/talks/john_hunter_on_the_world_peace_game#t-302954

Other interviews and articles including how children can go through the game or how teachers can take the training to offer it themselves are on his website at http://worldpeacegame.org

See also an interview with Temple here. John Hunter also spoke this year at Unity Church, Charlottesville in their Jan.14th Sunday service. You can listen to it here https://www.unitycville.org/podcast

 

 

Using Humor to Defuse Anger!

Unless you’re a psychopath, you are not going to kill somebody while you are laughing. And when you are done laughing, the original anger that made you want to kill, will have almost certainly lessened or be gone. Humor lessens tension so that better communication or constructive action can take place. So use humor to defuse!

Years ago when my son was a teenager and giving me a lot of ‘lip’, we had lots of arguments. I was completely frustrated, and constantly upset by his defiance. On this particular occasion, we (my husband, son and myself) were at the dinner table when my son started in. I was just about to serve the mashed potatoes. The big spoon with a heaping amount of vegetable was in my hand ready to dish out. Something in me clicked, and I pulled back on the spoon and catapulted it’s contents into my son’t face. My son responded by dipping his bare hand into the mashed potatoes and dumping them on top of my head. With that, my husband leapt up yelling “food fight!” And the fight was ON! All three of us threw mashed potatoes, pillows, anything non-breakable and non dangerous at one another, running all over the house.

IT WAS WONDERFUL!

It turned out to be the best thing we did because it totally cleared the air of tension between my son and I that had been building since I remarried. While we had to redecorate the hallway afterwards, that was no loss as the wallpaper was 50 years old and needed to go. My coat, which someone had used as a shield, also suffered, and had to go to the dry cleaner. But otherwise, everything else was fine.

At a later time, when my marriage was ending, I was extremely depressed (depression is the flip side of anger).  At the office and unable to concentrate on doing any work, I wandered next door to a neighbor’s office. Finding him alone, I asked him to tell me a joke because I badly needed to laugh. He remembered one, we both laughed, and I proceeded to someone else’s office. “I have a joke for you,” I said. I repeated the joke, laughed again, and asked him to tell me one. With this, I continued down the hall, repeating each of the jokes I learned and asking for more. Each time I told or heard one, I laughed and they laughed. This went on for weeks. The entire floor became engaged in joke telling and it boosted the spirits for us all.

Humor can be a healthy way of coping with strong emotions such as anger, depression, frustration and emotional pain. It allows you to keep your sanity so you can survive whatever is going on. The laughter brings oxygen to your brain so that you can think more clearly. As tension is released, it allows you to become more rational and make better decisions and to take constructive action.

At an earlier time and another divorce, my son (then in grade school) and I both had a lot of anger at his step-father, who had not only been emotionally abusive to us both, but had been physically rough with my son. My son truly hated this man and was prepared to hurt him if he came back into the house. So I had him play mental games with me of what practical jokes we could play on this man – things that would be an affront to his dignity, but not physically hurt him in any way.

For example, we would imagine giant birds or animals flying overhead and pooping on him, or sending dog too-doo to him in the mail, etc. We would imagine him as animal/bird/critter, and come up with insulting but funny names to call him. These mental games helped him, and are similar to a Neural Linguistic Programming technique called ‘Carnival’. I have written several visualizations to turn anger into humor in Chapter 6 my self-hypnosis course book, Your Unlimited Potential (see link here).

When things are really tough, sometimes the only thing you can do is to laugh. And if you are able to laugh on a regular basis, you probably will not get so angry or as often. So look for the funny side of things!

0  In 2017 I presented a seminar on Using Humor to Defuse Anger in Your Practice. And on Monday, November 5, 2018 I also will be giving a full-day workshop on Anger Management Certification Course at this year’s National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists Conference in Virginia Beach, Virginia.. See NATH.world for information as the time gets closer.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Help Yourself & Others Release Anger without Killing Anyone!

Have you ever thought of ANGER AS OPPORTUNITY? or TEACHER? or MOTIVATOR? or CHOICE?

Understanding the underlying dynamics of your upset helps you to harness anger so it actually accomplishes some good and, hopefully, does no harm to you or others.

Over a lifetime, I have had the ‘opportunity and motivation’ pushing me to learn something about unconscious forces, and mental and emotional healing.
“Necessity is the Mother of invention.” 
Some of what I have learned has been compiled in a 154 page content rich manual, Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone, to assist you personally, and to assist you to help others. Whether you are a spouse, parent, employer, employee, mental health practitioner, I feel strongly that there is something in this book for you that can assist to make your conversations more productive, your relationships more harmonious, your life more effective, your sleep more restful and your health improved, all leading to overall greater inner resources and peace of mind. I know that this information works because I use it regularly to help myself, my friends, my clients and students.
While you can learn all of this information right out of the book and teach it to others, you  also have the opportunity of spending a full day with me in Virginia Beach, Virginia on Monday, November 5 at the National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists Annual Conference. For information, see www.NATH.world. This would allow you to have all of your questions answered on how to apply it to various situations, do lots of practical exercises, and learn new skills and therapeutic interventions.

This is some of what the book covers and that will be dealt with in depth in the workshop.

  • Become aware of underlying beliefs, judgments, faulty assumptions or perceptions that cause anger!
  • Learn more effective communication skills to both avoid unnecessary problems and to address the ones you have!
  • Learn to maintain and regain balance and perspective quickly!
  • Set better boundaries!
  • Learn to fight clean and stop conversations from spiraling downwards!
  • Learn more effective coping skills!
  • Take effective action without the baggage of the past!
  • Use anger to grow in maturity and cast off leftovers of childhood!
  • Allow anger to locate and address your own unhealed wounds!
  • Understand the underlying dynamics of anger!
  • Learn to deal with what is instead of wasting precious energy in resistance!
  • Notice negative patterns and screw them up!
  • Understand and dissolve triggers!
  • Nip anger in the bud by noticing and taking action at the first warning signs!
  • Understand physical reasons for anger so you can address them!
  • Use anger as motivation for much needed healing and change!
  • Make your adversaries help you!
  • Learn the benefits of anger
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TEACH RIGHT OUT OF THE BOOK!

Releasing Anger – example

A Practical Application

The bad news is that when you write a book on Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone, the focus required to write a book may bring about an experience to apply what you know (or think you do). The good news is that you do know something to harness that energy constructively and then move it out of your system more quickly than you did in the past. Think of it as an exam. Do you know what you are talking about or not? Is it just an intellectual or a practical knowing? Is there more yet to learn?

So one week ago a tenant, as she was moving out of my house, left water running. Gallons of water poured down from the second floor bathroom to the first floor living room, and down to the basement below. Rugs, a mattress, books, furniture and other things got wet. Now almost half of the living room ceiling has to be replaced, drywall dust is everywhere. And as much as possible things were boxed up and moved out of the living room along with the furniture. Likewise, two basement rooms were disrupted in order to mop up the water, and get things out of harm’s way. So not only is my living room unusable but so is the dining room and hall, and those two basement rooms as well. 

Immediately taking a long view of the problem, I knew that regardless of how much time, energy, work and out-of pocket expense would be involved, regardless of the bad timing and other demands upon me both health wise and financially, the problem would be eventually fixed, and the house would be restored to it’s former beauty. In other words, the problem was temporary. That tenant is now fully gone from my house, and I have a new, wonderful person living here and other workmen helping me clean up the mess.

I knew that I needed to harness the anger into constructive action. So I called people to get the help and advice I needed, and start or supervise the work. I did a lot of the Infinite Intelligence Process to both dump stress and access the wisdom within. I did EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), dowsing for emotional healing, and meditation because I did not want the anger to poison me or cause me to get more sick. I wanted any possible contributory factors healed. And I also did not want to project my anger back to my former tenant as it would then be a curse on her head. And because I believe that we are all connected, what I send out comes back to me.

I focused on what I had to be grateful for. I asked myself what I could learn and grow from this experience, how I could prevent something like this happening in the future, and what I might have done differently that could have (but not necessarily would have) prevented the damage occurring. In other words, I was actively looking to pull a blessing out of the experience. 

Then I wrote a letter to my tenant to get everything off of my chest because she took no responsibility for her actions and was instead blaming me. I felt it necessary that she understand the ramifications of her negligence so she is more careful elsewhere. This stopped the conversations looping in my head.

I hired someone to repair the damage and then paint the entire living room ceiling. I found someone to clean when the construction and painting are done. And I am getting a record of expenses in case I go to court to collect damages. In other words, I did everything I could. Now, it is just a matter of getting the work completed. 

I learned long ago that groaning over damage done is a waste of precious energy that you need to stay healthy and address the problem. Complaining to people who cannot help you is one thing as an immediate, very short vent, but counterproductive otherwise. Best to talk only to those that can offer some good information and advice. Blaming her or blaming myself wasn’t going to be helpful. Using the problem as an excuse for not doing something else would also be counterproductive.

I would have loved to had someone just hold me. But since I don’t have a partner, I grabbed a cat and snuggled with him. I sat with my piggies. I hugged my dogs. I looked up at the sky. I picked up and talked to the toads. I noticed some of the abundant sweetness that is on my farm. I remembered that I am loved, that I have meaning and purpose in this world, that this is a beautiful place, and I am choosing to be alive and present. 

At other times and places, I may have made love, watched funny movies, gone dancing or done something nice with friends just to discharge energy and regroup. But what is important is that you actively do something. There is always something still left to enjoy and appreciate—even a memory to lift your spirit. 

Did I pass? I think so. Will I do things differently in future? Yes. Will I forget the lessons? No. Can what I learned help someone else? Yes, I think so.

PUBLISHED: Releasing Anger without Killing Anyone!

Just Published!!!!

beartoons-anger    Cartoon citation: beartoons.com

Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone!

by Roxanne Louise

An entire Anger Management Course!

Teach right out of the book!

Use it to help yourself! Use it to help others! 

A jam-packed guide on how to:

√ Turn anger into a blessing! 

√ Shift anger into constructive action! 

√ Use your challenges to improve yourself, your business, relationships & your life!

    • Understand the underlying dynamics! 
    • Change how you look at things so that they don’t bother you nearly as much! 
    • Make your enemies & problems help you! 
    • Harness anger as motivation to heal & make much needed change! 
    • Communicate more effectively! 
    • Fight clean! 
    • Stop conversations from spiraling downwards! 
    • Notice negative patterns & screw them up! 
    • Take effective action without the baggage!
    • Enjoy your life despite the crap!

Jam Packed Tips, Strategies, Techniques & Visualizations! 

Turn Everything Into a Blessing!

154 pages. Just $29.95 plus $5 shipping.  Order here: https://www.roxannelouise.com/releasing-anger.html

In addition to covering this information with clients over the years, I have taught this material at numerous hypnosis conventions including workshops at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention and the National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists.

 

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