“It’ll Only Take a Moment!”

20180929_front gate       20180929_gate

How many times have I thought those words to my regret!

It started for me many years ago. In the early days after buying this big house, I put water on the stove for tea while I went downstairs to fetch something. But somehow I got distracted with something there that needed doing. When I returned upstairs, the water had boiled away and the bottom of the metal pot had melted all over the stove. Still not learning the lesson to NEVER leave the room when something is on the stove, I have gone on to burn several meals since although I never again melted another pot. However, my son tells me my late mother melted one or two pots on the stove as well. 

Anyway, yesterday, it was my worker. He removed the chain around the boards on the front wooden gate. It was there to prevent my big Maremma sheep dogs from escaping should they open the latch — a new trick that their mother had just taught them a few days before. “I’ll only be a moment,” he thought as he walked across the driveway to get feed for the farm animals in the garage. So he did not take the mere second of extra time to replace the chain. Quickly, my two big Maremma pups unseen to him, unlatched the gate and took off, and were out of sight by the time he filled up the feed buckets and came back. As a result, I spent an hour and a quarter driving around a 3 mile radius calling for them before I finally found them and got them home. But the results could have been different as these dogs are unfamiliar with trains, traffic, or the acres of woods around. And people do steal valuable, pure breed animals.

How quickly taking a moment to do something or not do something by ignoring or discounting potential negative consequences can have unpleasant or painful results. Whether you get distracted and lose your focus, take your eyes off what you are doing, or turn your back on someone or something, it can bring enormous stress, aggravation, money, and time consuming extra work. It can mean the difference between getting on the plane or not, between owning something, or it being stolen or lost forever. But sometimes the results are even tragic – leaving a child or animal in the car on a hot summer day, for example. A moment can mean the difference between between health and injury, life and death. 

Many years ago, I combined walking my dog with going to the grocery store to buy just a few items. I tied him up outside and went in to do my shopping. When done, I found that someone had stolen my dog. Signs and calling throughout the Boston neighborhood brought no response. Only through great good fortune and timing a couple of weeks later did I happen to again be walking the same route and saw some young people sitting with my dog on the stoop of their apartment building across the wide boulevard. I was lucky to get him back.

Another time, I drove to the train station to pick up my husband. I left the windows open because my teenage son was in the back seat. As the train was late, I got out to wait for my husband on the track. It took just a moment of me being gone for a man to jump into the driver’s seat to try to steal the car. Only my son thinking to hold up his boy scout knife as he addressed the thief made the man flee, and kept my son safe. 

Every day we have to make countless quick decisions to do or not do this or that and how or what instead. Nonetheless, there also has to be awareness of potential negative consequences of those decisions and not discount the downside because “it’ll only take a moment!”

Copyright 9/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

 

No Easy Answers

Personally, I get frustrated when people pontificate their personal beliefs as to why they think something ‘bad’ happens, not just to themselves, but generalized across the board to everyone. It doesn’t matter that the ‘bad’ thing is an injury, an illness, the breakup of a relationship or a job, a school shooting, terrorist attack or war. The reasons that led up to that may be as multiple as there are people.

Even if you get positive results by correcting what you think may be the reason, it remains a theory until your correction completely resolves the problem. Otherwise, it may only be a part of the picture. But just because it appears true for you in that specific instance, and even if it is helpful for you does not mean that it is true or going to prove beneficial for everyone

I have noted that the reasons cited as responsible for any particular problem change over time and over cultures. To me this proves that such explanations are beliefs or theories rather than truth. Some are more popular than others during a particular decade with particular groups – national, regional, ethnic, economic, educational, religious, or political subcultures. Some come straight out of the teaching of a particular movement, guru, book or even a fad. Popularity can never be a criteria for truth. 

For example, in the past, it was actively taught that bad genes were responsible for many diseases. But thanks to the work of biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton, we now know that almost all given genes can be expressed in a number of different ways, and it is the environment (or the perception of it) that determines whether a specific gene with that disease as one of many possibilities will ever express itself in that way.

Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer, MD proved that specific unexpected, emotional shocks are responsible for specific diseases developing in particular parts of the body at the specific point in time when such shocks occurred. So instead of the person creating the illness, they didn’t have the emotional or other resources at the time to prevent it because they didn’t know how to handle something very upsetting happening outside of them, not of their own creation.

It’s very popular in the New Age Movement to think that you attract or create everything that happens to you. This is more helpful, perhaps, than thinking that you are victim, or that it is God’s will and that you just have to suffer instead of taking active measures to change things. But if you are creating your reality, what about the possibility that  everyone else is doing so at the same time, and that these various creations are crossing paths? If according to a theory that everyone is interconnected, what you do effects me and vice versa. 

Example:

Perhaps you were hit by a car as crossing the road. Perhaps the hospitalization gives you time to reconsider your life and it’s direction, your relationships, what’s important, etc. That can lead to important changes. Maybe you become more appreciative of others. Perhaps you have to learn patience, tolerance, and compassion for others who also suffer. You may as a result become a better or more pleasant person. It may force you to grow. But does that mean that God or your soul set it up, or that it was destined to happen as a part of your life script? Maybe yes, but maybe no.

Such introspection and positive changes might be your chosen response to the situation, not the reason for it.

You could have responded by becoming angry, hostile to caretakers, impatient, and, consequently, destroying your relationships. You could have become a worse, not better person.

Perhaps the accident teaches you to remember to look both ways before crossing the street, or to not burn the candle at both ends so that you can stay alert to potential danger. Maybe you learn that you need to focus on what you are doing, or to resolve that issue that is disturbing your sleep. Maybe you should not be trying to use the cell phone or text when entering the intersection.

On the other hand, maybe the driver needs also to keep his eyes on the road instead of trying to text as well. Maybe he needs to not burn the candle at both ends, or not drink before driving. Maybe he needs to resolve those issues that are distracting him from paying attention. Maybe he needs an anger management class so that he slows down and is less aggressive while driving.

Maybe there needs to be a traffic light at that busy intersection but the mayor has been slow to address a dangerous situation already known to him.

But does any of this mean that God or the universe set it up, or that you volunteered to get hit so that other people would learn?

You get my point.

That being said,

  • if there is a reason (and there may be) and you do not get it,
  • if there is something for you to learn (and there probably is) , and you do not,
  • if it was intended for you to grow, and you don’t,

my belief is that you will get another opportunity to do so later. In my experience, the universe comes in with a 2 X 4 next time.

Physicist Tom Campbell, author of My Big Toe has a theory, which while very interesting, cannot be reduced to the cause for all problems:

If a particular occurrence is determined to be an effective learning opportunity for someone or everyone, the probability of it happening is increased. The system is designed to automatically deliver timely custom-fit individual learning opportunities — the presentation of such opportunities to individuals or groups is part of the feedback one receives relative to the choices one makes. Because the point of the system is to overcome fear (about you – high entropy) and replace it with love (about others – low entropy), if you have fear, the feedback system will manifest that fear in PMR [physical reality] to force you to deal with it (learn) or suffer the consequences.”

Yes, I believe things happen for a reason or multiple ones, but such may be more complicated or different than what you think. The causation may be unknowable. Hence, I advise being open minded to other explanations until you fully resolve the issue. And still the answers might be elusive or incomplete. You may get results without understanding why. 

The reasons may be such a composite of the environment, the stress and or psychological milieu of multiple other people, the society and the times, so that they cannot be brought down to a single, simple explanation. It can be similar to a recipe – a little of this, a little of that, add in other people, stir it up, wait awhile. The buildup can take lifetimes. The causes can be multigenerational. 

In short, I don’t believe in easy answers.

Asking ‘why’, then has only marginal value.

Should you ask it? Of course, because you might well find answers. But also consider that you may be either wrong or incomplete in your analysis. The reasons why might be multiple. Leave room  in your mind to be open to additional possibilities that might help. 

After asking “why did this happen”, ask:

  1. What positive learning can I gain from this?
  2. What do I want to do to make things better moving forward?
  3. How can I turn this into a blessing for me or someone else?

 

Copyright 9/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com areincluded with the content.

What if illness was a choice?

Santa Cruz Vending 7:16 copy

TO BE OR NOT TO BE — SICK 

Putting forth the premise that illness is a choice may sound harsh. But think about it this way:

Long before you got sick, you were entrenched for years in hundreds of little habits–habits of eating, exercise, work, lifestyle, smoking, drinking, and habits of how you handled stress, conflict and negative emotions. Even your thinking has been largely a matter of habit. And because thoughts determine emotions, which in turn create different biological chemicals in your body, emotional states and body chemistry are the results of thoughts, beliefs, judgements, and habits of mind. And that involves choice – both conscious and unconscious.

Regardless of what habits or beliefs were installed in childhood by family or culture, upon reaching adulthood, it becomes a choice to continue those habits and to hold those beliefs without question, or not. It comes down to whether they work for you or whether negative consequences appear that call for change.

Choices become habits, and habits create destiny

All habits come about through little decisions made again and again, perhaps multiple times daily until they become an automatic program that starts to run your life. Allowing thoughts to continually be held in mind is a choice, and this choice then becomes part of your attitude and personality [see work of biologist Bruce Lipton, Ph.D.]. 

Further, your beliefs, judgments, and interpretations of events and experiences collect evidence to prove you right. Left unchallenged (a choice), they will either attract more similar experiences or you will tend to feel and react as if they were similar even though they were not.

These mental habits will guarantee what emotional and physical consequences you experience both immediate and long term including illness. For example, if you interpret a situation as ‘this is scary’, you will activate the stress hormone of cortisol, which shuts off the biological functions of growth, digestion, repair and immune functioning. Whereas if you interpret the very same event as ‘this is exciting’, ‘this is an opportunity’, or ‘what a fun challenge’, your internal chemistry will be very different.

Routinely interpreting what is happening around you as threatening will over time damage your health.  However, you can choose to interpret or judge a situation differently, to react differently. Following a decision to do so, and then practicing over time to retrain your mind, might make the difference you need to heal.

Consequences

So there are consequences to all of your choices and the habits they become. And these consequences include your health, mental and emotional well-being, or lack of same.

However, at the time that the choices were made, you may have been unaware of those consequences or you lived in denial. After all, when you picked up your first cigarette were you really paying attention to the health risks? Did you think that you were invincible? Did you think you could outrun the bullet, and that the health warnings didn’t apply to you? Did you just figure on having just a few, and quitting tomorrow? Were you bargaining, “please, God, just let me have this one ___ (cigarette/drink/ice cream sunday) and then I’ll stop and be good!

Now, years later you may become aware that it has come time to pay the piper. What do you do when you don’t like the negative consequences of your choices? How do you unravel bad habits, bad decisions, limiting beliefs or judgments for which you are now paying dearly?

Making different choices

Healing requires change, and change can be scary.

If a health problem is a result of long standing habits and patterns, healing will always require changing those habits and patterns. The necessary changes may be all pervasive, even drastic, and can be just as scary as the illness itself.  Carolyn Myss in Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, says that

“many of us are almost as afraid of healing as we are of illness.”2 

Even though a person may be aware of the risks, and their doctor may have recommended dietary, habit or lifestyle changes over the years,

only when there is a clear cause and effect relationship of certain habits and choices with the negative consequences do most people begin to make even the smallest, yet alone the big changes, that may be necessary.

This follows the Law of Inertia, a body at rest tends to stay at rest, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion.

It takes more energy to shift direction than to continue to do what you have always done.

And it will take dedication on a daily basis to overcome the years of negative programming. However, each day you choose to practice new habits, it will gain in power.

How committed are you to heal?

Are you willing to do whatever it takes? And if you aren’t, can we then say that you are choosing to remain sick? Myss asks the following:

“If healing required moving to another part of the country, changing your attitudes toward others and yourself, changing all your physical habits, such as diet and exercise, being alone for a long period of time, or going on a retreat to confront your shadow, experiencing illness as a way of healing mentally, emotionally and spiritually, or losing everything familiar to you — home, spouse, job–would you do it?” 3

John Harrison, MD, in Love Your Disease–It’s Keeping You Healthy says that

Anybody prepared to make fearless decisions in their best interests will avoid all major illness and most minor ones as well.”

Illness provides benefits called secondary gains

There may be positive payoffs to being sick. For example, illness may get you out of a job, activity, situation, relationship, or a responsibility that you hate. It can provide an excuse not to do, or not to go where you don’t want, or to do something that you do, for example, to stay home and watch television. It may provide financial awards, temporary or ongoing income, medical benefits, and time off from work. [See article “Secondary Gain – a Gain from Pain”

Illness may get people off your back. It may provide an excuse, and special considerations or privileges such as handicapped parking. It may allow you to avoid responsibility for yourself or others. It may cast the die–letting the disease or condition make a decision for you when you are too indecisive or weak to do it on your own.

Illness may pull a family or relationship together, or provide a way to check on the feelings of others. It may let others know that you need them, providing them with an important role, and helping them to feel good about themself for helping you. Illness can be a way to get people to come to visit, and to obtain desired attention, emotional assistance, concern, sympathy, demonstrations of caring or love. It can be a way to get people to do things for you, even getting waited on hand and foot as in hospitalization. Finally, a health problem can be a form of self-punishment, a way to atone or pay yourself back for guilty thoughts, feelings, behavior.

Because of all of the above, a person on an unconscious level may choose to become ill, or to do things that make him liable to get sick. Once sick he may obstruct healing, or do all the wrong things such as a diabetic eating sweets, to sabotage getting better. 

As Myss says, 

Illness can…become a powerful way to get attention you might not otherwise receive”, and “as a form of leverage, illness can seem almost attractive.”

Benefits to illness can be secondary or primary to the condition. They can be conscious or unconscious (below the level of awareness). As in which came first, the chicken or the egg, did the person get sick in order to get his needs met? Or did he get sick as a result of bad habits or some other reason, and then notice that there were some payoffs in being ill?

Harrison says that

The person is needy, rather than sick….People get ill to get what they want… People do not get what they want…so they become ill.”5

Basic needs,  such as attention, solitude, caring, must be met one way or the other. And if illness is providing those needs, the person must feel secure in meeting those same needs, just as easily as before, but now in a healthy, constructive way. Otherwise, he will resist getting well, or he will get sick again to get his needs met.

A Wake Up Call + Hope

To break the negative cycle, both the pain of the illness needs to be great enough for the person to be motivated to change, and the person must have hope that making changes will make a positive difference in his health.

Without hope or positive expectancy, why bother to even try?

Harrison further states that

“Disease is both self-created and self-cured…. Illness is the physical and psychological result of unresolved needs, not a malfunction of a machine caused by unknown or external factors….We give ourselves illnesses in order to ‘take care of ourselves’ psychologically.”

Harrison and Stephen Parkhill, author of Answer Cancer, refer to an unspoken contract between doctor and patient that says the following. The doctor, in exchange for money, will remove unpleasant symptoms for the patient without upsetting the patient’s chosen lifestyle or habits, attitudes or feelings, judgments or beliefs. The doctor will participate in the illusion that the patient is a victim and not responsible for either the disease or its removal and return to health. The doctor will take over responsibility for the patient’s health and all decisions relevant to his health care.

Harrison puts it this way:

“I have consulted you to have my need recognized, my suffering validated, my pain removed and my disease retained. In return, I will support you financially and give you status commensurate with the powers I ask you to exercise.”6 

As Harrison further states,

“It’s this need to be taken care of by people more powerful than ourselves that leads us into taking some decisions that are damaging to us in the long term.”

This agreement between doctor and patient may eradicate symptoms, but miss the cure. It has all the dysfunctional psychodynamics of the Victim-Rescuer-Persecutor Triangle7 –the patient being the Victim, the doctor/therapist being the Rescuer, and the disease/condition being the Persecutor. Roles can switch if compliance in the game is unsatisfactory.

Patients need to get out of the game and take back responsibility for their illness, and take back their power to heal. But in doing so, they need to understand the role that not just their physical habits and lifestyle play, but the all important component of their thoughts and emotions.

What emotional states cause illness?

Parkhill believes that ailments in general come from an unconscious need for self-punishment, self-mutilation, or limitation. He also feels that guilt, blame, criticism, fears, such as the fear of abandonment, or the fear of not surviving because essential needs are not well met, play a role.

To his list, I would add that many other emotions and internal conflicts could be involved depending upon the illness and where it is located. German New Medicine outlines a number of emotional shocks that if are not quickly resolved lead to very specific diseases. [See article “German New Medicine & the Mind-Body Connection”]

Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life, thinks that thoughts of being not good enough, self-hatred or criticism, resentment and guilt are the most destructive to our health. Conversely, she feels that forgiveness, self-acceptance, love and releasing the past are key for healing.

Unraveling Bad Choices and Making Better Ones

Postulating that illness is a choice, even if it is an unconscious one, implies that there is a different choice or choices that could potentially be made that would leading to a different outcome–one of health, vitality, and overall well-being. Once clear about the negative consequences of all of your habits and patterns, you may be motivated to change. This will include making changes in your thinking, beliefs, attitude, how you deal with stress, as well as diet, lifestyle. 

Make a commitment to take positive action. Start with making the most obvious and the most do-able changes, and the changes most likely to make the most difference.

There are many ways of tackling the various mental, emotional and habit components.

  • Self-hypnosis really helps to focus on priorities, increase motivation to do what you need to do, change negative thinking, and to release stress. 

The modalities or techniques listed below are also invaluable in releasing stress, self-sabotage, and healing issues. Dowsing, Emotion Code, Hypnosis, and NLP have the additional benefit of being able to locate the source/s of the problem.

  • Thought Stopping and Switching 
  • Emotional Freedom Technique
  • Emotion Code
  • Tapas Acupressure Technique 
  • Hypnosis
  • Neural Linguistic Programming 
  • Pendulum Dowsing 
  • my own Infinite Intelligence Process8 [see article “Accessing More”] 
  • Through hypnosis or Time Line Therapy you can go back in time to a choice point and make a healthier, more constructive choice that leads to health. I like the unconscious healing modality that I call “Change Decision”9 that taught to me by A.L Ward, but those of other hypnosis mentors such as E. Arthur Winkler or Walter Sichort and his protege James Ramey, who did something similar.
  • Next, you can imagine traveling into the future to a time when the problem has been satisfactorily resolved, find out how that was done, and bring that solution back to the present moment along with the resources to do it. This is called Future Pace, or Crystal Ball, or Magic Wand — all hypnosis and NLP techniques.
  • Or again with hypnosis, you can imagine going into a parallel universe in order to change direction to an alternate reality more of your liking. Go the station platform and change trains.

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FOOTNOTES:

1. First published in 5/2007

2. Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, page i x.

3. Ibid, page 138-139.

4. John Harrison, M.D., Love Your Disease, page 51

5. page 46-7

6. Love Your Disease, page 59

7. The Victim-Rescuer-Persecutor Triangle is typically seen with alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers, and many of the chronically ill. The Victim uses his problem to manipulate and control others into taking over responsibility for him, bailing him out of problems, and meeting his emotional and perhaps financial needs. The Rescuer initially feels good to be of help, but later comes to feel as if he, himself, is being victimized by the very person he is trying to help, who has takes on the role of Persecutor. Rescuers are caught in this trap because they do not feel good about themselves unless they are helping those they consider more unfortunate than they. Most people in the helping profession as well as nurses and others in the healing arts start out as Rescuers. Hence, they are vulnerable to being used and abused by others. Awareness helps, but the biggest cure for this is high self-esteem and healthy boundaries.

8. ACCESSING MORE – Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process by Roxanne Louise

9. Change Decision is included in the Visualization Chapter of my book, Your Unlimited Potential, a complete self-hypnosis course and introduction to professional hypnotherapy.

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“Illness as Choice ?” Copyright 7/2015 was then expanded and rewritten 6/2018 as “What if illness were a choice?” by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: http://www.roxannelouise.com or call 434-263-4337

 

 

Getting to the Root of It

Anyone who has dealt with weeds knows that unless you can dig up the taproot, the weed comes back. And anyone who has gotten a splinter, knows that until you get it all out, the pain continues. Get only part of it out, and it becomes inflamed and perhaps infected. Thinking positive, ignoring it, or trying not to think about it only prolongs the problem and make it worse.

 And so it is with negative repeating patterns. Any time there is a negative pattern of any kind, you can bet that the root cause has not been addressed. The only way to change things and stop the same problem occurring over and over again is to find and clear the original issue, which will be the unhealed trauma and the negative belief or judgment about the experience.

If you are successful, you will probably not get any more such experiences, or at least, less of them. But should something similar happen again, it’s effect upon you will be greatly mitigated, and you will much more quickly, and with greater effectiveness, grace and ease handle it in a better way. While the annoying people in your life may not have changed, you will have. Therefore, your experience of it will be different. Because you think differently about things that used to bother you, you feel and respond differently.

Getting to the bottom of issues can be tricky and time consuming.

The original event and the interpretations about it may be unknown, long forgotten or repressed. And instead of just one traumatic event, it may be a layering of multiple events, each reinforcing the detrimental judgment that with a self-fulfilling prophecy that tends to 

    • either attract more experiences of like kind,
    • Or you just react and feel as if they are the same type of event even if they are not. In other words, you perceive and feel ____(slight, insult, prejudice, etc.) because you are sensitized, not necessarily because it was intended or actually happened. 

Healing requires not only taking corrective action in the moment, but learning from the experience. Through strong intention, you can decide that the very experience that upsets you will enhance your personal and professional growth, adding to your wisdom, your maturity, and your greater value to others as a leader, counselor, mentor and role model. I call this ‘finding the blessing’.

It is not enough to just neutralize the negative emotions.

Learn and grow through them as well. 

But then go further. 

Ask yourself, “has anything like this happened before?” 

If you get a ‘yes’, then your current problem is alerting you to the need to heal these earlier issues now, and perhaps other related additional ones that you don’t remember. If you do find and heal the root cause, the negative pattern will stop. And if that happens, then go and personally thank the person who is your current ‘pain in the butt’, the one that brought the issue to your attention and motivated you to address it.

Layering of memories

We are hard wired as part of our survival mechanism to put meaning to experience – to interpret it as good or bad, threatening or not. It is the interpretation, not the event itself, that determines the emotion that follows. Perhaps you had an upsetting experience and then made a judgment about it, an interpretation of what it meant to you that you forgot or repressed. Perhaps it was never verbalized, or didn’t register consciously because it happened at a young age, in the womb, or in a past life.

We now have scientific evidence from studies done with mice and children of Holocaust survivors that issues and emotions such as fear are being passed on the DNA to the generations that follow. This may be part of the survival mechanism for the species.

But not only can you pick up things up unconsciously from your ancestors in that way, any vividly imagined events especially those with high emotion can register on an unconscious level as if they actually happened to you even if they did not. This includes the stories you hear from your family, your culture, group, or witness in the media. It can include those experiences of book or movie characters that make a deep impression. All of these elements become part of the soup making up your beliefs and judgments, which go on to create or at least influence your future experiences and it’s impact upon you.

Regardless of where or when it originated, it and others like it are stored internally and can effect you until you process or reframe them. Reframing is changing your interpretation of the event.

For example, after a bad accident, you might continue to shake with fear thinking “I almost died”, but you could also interpret it as “if I’m still here, I must have a purpose,” or “I survived and I’m going to celebrate every day because you never know how long you have, or ”I was protected” or “help was there precisely when I needed it.”

As more and similar experiences occur over time, they are added to the previous ones making the event, the emotions and judgements around them more pronounced like a toe that keeps getting stepped on until it becomes very sensitized and you become over zealous in protecting it.  The one-time judgment about someone stepping on your toes then becomes a generalized global judgment, such as “everyone keeps stepping all over me”, or a sensitivity or issue as in “I have constantly be on the alert that no one steps on me again.” 

Triggers and other factors

But along with the experience that is logged into your memory bank, so are the various elements of that experience – the sounds, colors, location, season, date, and the various people and other things present. Each element is capable of triggering the entire memory and the emotion connected to it. Such elements are labeled triggers. But in addition to the elements present at the time of the experience, you can also react to other things not involved in the bad experience itself, but merely associated with the person, places or things that were involved.

For example, if you have a bad breakup with your boyfriend, you can understand why you to feel uncomfortable should you bump into him again. But now you may very well experience discomfort upon seeing one of his friends or relatives, or hearing one of the bands that both of you enjoyed, your favorite song, or being in a place that you used to go to together. Everything you associate with that boyfriend can awaken all the painful emotions and reasons for the break up. These are triggers too.

With some triggers, you clearly know where the emotion such as the fear comes from. But with other emotions, fears, tension or uneasiness, you may not remember the connection. These are more properly labeled as phobias. The fear seems irrational because the connection to the event that caused it has been lost. So it is not just the upsetting event that needs to be cleared, but also all of the triggers, many of which you may be unaware of until they are activated.

Multiple modalities help to find and process the issue.

1. Meditation

One way a person can get clues is through meditation. Just still your mind and let a question roll around in your mind. For example: 

  • “where does this ____ (emotion/ issue/ problem of ____) come from?”
  • Or, “what do I need to know or let go of to heal this issue fully and completely now?”
  • Or, “how can I look at this experience so that it doesn’t bother me nearly as much?”
  • Or, “why does this problem/issue of ___ keep happening over and over again?”

2. The Infinite Intelligence Process 

The Infinite Intelligence Process is a 3-prong modality that I developed. It can be used with meditation, formal hypnosis, self-hypnosis, or dowsing. I use it daily to clear my mind so that I have a restful sleep, quickly process the events of the day, relieve stress, chip away at issues, access internal resources, and, in general, speed up problem solving and make life go smoother. You can learn it through my book Accessing More – Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process.

You could utilize phrases like:

 “There is a part of my Being that knows where this ___ (emotion/ issue/ problem of ____) comes from and is bringing everything that I need to know into my awareness so that it can be healed/resolved now.” 

Or “There is a part of me that knows how to heal/resolve this in a way in which I am really pleased, and is doing so now.” 

Or after installing the Process Program that is activated with trigger words of process followed by go, you could say:

“From the perspective of my High Self, process and resolve everything to do with the problem of ____ in a way in which I am really pleased. Go.”

3. Hypnosis

Hypnosis has multiple methods of regressing to cause and then resolving the issue. In age regression, the information is brought up into awareness, verbalized in the hypnosis. The client is then guided in reframing or otherwise resolving the issue until it seems complete. My favorite hypnotic techniques are called ‘unconscious healing modalities’ because they operate below the level of conscious awareness and do not involve any verbalization by the client. The hypnotherapist creates depth of trance, establishes an ideomotor response, gets the agreement of the unconscious mind to locate and resolve the issue by itself. The instructions include to resolve the issue “in a way in which ___ (name) is ‘really pleased”.

4. Neural Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Time Line Therapy outlined in a book by the same title is a specific technique within NLP developed by Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall. It is very helpful to quickly clear issues for which you don’t know the origin. It works below the level of conscious awareness. The instructions include “find the positive learning and release the upset.”

5. The Emotion Code

This method was developed by Dr. Bradley Nelson and works with muscle testing. But I use pendulum dowsing instead to locate the issue and determine the degree to which it is involved. Even if I use a magnet or running my fingers along the governing meridian as he suggests, I will also use dowsing to clear it further, and then check the degree to which I was successful.

6. The Emotional Freedom Technique 

Tap on the issue and everything around it including “Even though I may not know where this _____ (issue, emotion, problem of ___) comes from, I deeply love and accept myself.” 
There are other energy modalities as well to change beliefs. 

7. Dowsing

dowsing cover front

Pendulum dowsing using charts and checklists specially created for this purpose can quickly find the root cause and related factors of any issue. You can learn to do on your own, anytime day or n

 

ight. No appointment and no wait time is necessary. It can find information that is not accessible either at all or not as easily found another way. It is extremely helpful in all problem solving, but especially helpful when the original cause is unknown, unconscious, forgotten, repressed, picked up in the womb or from the culture or tribe, or even stemming from past lives.

See Therapeutic Dowsing and Telepathic Healing, available on my website.

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4 Upcoming Conferences

Santa Cruz Vending 7:16 copy  This year, I will be addressing finding and resolving root causes of issues from different angles. They are listed below.

Presenting at the American Society of Dowsers Conference, June 13-17, 2018 at the State University of New York (SUNY) in New Paltz, New York. Full day Workshop “Locating & Clearing the Mental/Emotional Drivers of Disease”, Wednesday, 6/13, & Seminar “Hypnosis for Dowsing”. See www.dowsers.org.

Presenting at the West Coast Dowsers Conference, University of California, Santa Cruz, June 29-July 3. Full day Workshop “Therapeutic Dowsing & Telepathic Healing – Dowsing for Mental & Emotional Issues”, Tuesday, 7/3, and Seminar “Hypnosis to Enhance Your Dowsing”. See http://www.dowserswestcoast.org

Presenting at the National Guild of Hypnotists Conventionin Marlborough, Massachusetts, August 10-12. Workshop: “Hypnosis For Mind-Body Healing—Finding And Eliminating The Mental And Emotional Drivers Of Disease”, and a Seminar “Pendulum Dowsing For Hypnotists—Powerful Investigative/Healing/Business Tool!” ​See https://ngh.net

Presenting at the National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists in Virginia Beach, VA, November 3-5. Speaker & Vendor. All day Anger Management Certification Course, Monday, November 5.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

When someone says there is ‘no cure’

The Medical Paradigm

Anyone graduating from the very long and arduous training in medical school has been deeply indoctrinated into a very distinctive belief system, attitudes and approach to ill health, and then from that model on how to diagnose and treat illness in very prescribed ways. Historically, allopathic medicine seems to focus more on physical symptoms and on what can be seen under a microscope or on an X-ray, for example, a pathogen or broken bone, rather than on the multitude of non-physical factors that are also involved or even the precipitating or main cause. 

As in the children’s Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme, physicians are under pressure to put their patients back together again after a problem has occurred rather than increasing their vitality and reducing their vulnerability from getting sick in the first place. In that focus on disease instead of wellness, it is possible that the medical model is missing many more possible cures as well as a fuller understanding of the underlying dynamics.

Allopathic treatment may include suppression of physical symptoms without actually finding and correcting underlying issues. And while alleviation of symptoms can make a huge difference in someone’s quality of life, removal or healing of the root cause (or group of causative agents as there can be multiple things involved) means examining and addressing all imbalances in a person’s life (body, mind and spirit).

Finding and resolving the underlying problem/s means considering that the many other factors that cause ill health – stress and emotional things like loneliness, grief, anger, loss of support or connection, worry, lack of meaning and purpose – are likewise vitally important. Then there are habits, lifestyle, relationships, nutrition, exercise, toxicity, biological conflicts, lack of spiritual connection, and manmade or naturally occurring pathological energies such as EMF, radiation, and even underground crossing water veins, to be considered. Even if pathogens are involved, such pathogens may have been dormant until these other factors made it possible for them to take hold in a person’s body. Such factors may unless dealt with, prevent a patient from healing now despite otherwise good medical care.

Allopathic medicine does not take into consideration other health care approaches that have been successfully practiced in the world for centuries such as herbal medicine, shamanism, Ayurveda, or Chinese Medicine, to mention a few. The problem is not that physicians have a very structured and specific approach to treating disease, but that they vigorously claim through various legal channels to be the only profession with the right and the expertise to do so.

All of these other highly relevant factors mentioned are outside the realm of medical knowledge and treatment.  Therefore, for anyone to be correct in stating that there is ‘no cure’, they would have to be an expert or at least highly knowledgable in all these other factors and healing modalities – an impossible task. The only true and accurate statement can be “allopathic medicine does not have a cure for this condition at this time.” 

For every illness, for every health condition that was said to be impossible to cure,  correct or heal, even from death itself, there is someone has proven such claim wrong. Whether you listen to Dr. Eben Alexander, Anita Moorjani, both of whom were clinically dead and came back to life and healed, or Dr. Joe Dispenza who had an ‘impossible to heal’ spinal fracture from being run over and yet went back to his chiropractic practice in just two weeks, these true stories make you realize there is always hope. If there is someone who healed when told it was impossible, why not you? What did they do, or not do, that made their healing possible? Find out and duplicate this for yourself.

Why it is vital to not destroy someone’s hope

Forgive me if I rant a moment. As a hypnotherapist, I am trained in the power of suggestion, and the power of words to help or hurt, even kill. By eliminating hope, a person may give up and not do anything to help themselves even with basic self-care. Worse yet, if they believe that they will never ____, they may put themselves out of their own misery through suicide or self-destructive behaviors such as heavy drinking or drugs that are the slower versions of the same thing.

If a patient believes the doctor is the authority on his health condition, he is preconditioned to internalize into his unconscious mind whatever that doctor says about him and how he says it. Such patient will also be alert to picking unverbalized cues (body signals, tone of voice) of what that doctor believes about his chances.

This is very important as the unconscious mind also controls all body functions including growth and repair, digestion, detoxification, hormonal balance, and the immune response. The raw emotions of receiving a negative diagnosis and prognosis will have a very real impact upon the patient making his situation better or worse depending upon how they are delivered.  

Further, when this trusted doctor then tells his patient that there is ‘no cure’, or that there is ‘nothing that can be done‘, such patient will not seek answers elsewhere even if answers and help already exist through other treatment modalities. He will be disempowered from possibly discovering the answers for himself  or the winning combination of things that might possibly have made his healing possible.

One of my friends and mentors was the late Michael Ellner. Michael was a hypnotherapist, and for many years, the Director of Heal Education AIDS Liaison in New York City. Michael gave his clientele hope. Michael through therapeutic intervention would take away the power that negative authority figures (such as their physicians) had in the client’s mind. Instead, Michael gave the client logical reasons why he should believe instead that he could do something to help himself. Only by giving hope did his clients gain the determination to then work with nutrition, get off recreational drugs, stop risky sexual behaviors, get honest about their sexual orientation with their families, work on their emotional issues, start to meditate or develop a spiritual practice, etc. As a result, Michael witnessed many men who reversed their AIDS, and became healthier than at any time in their life, and living decades longer. When they healed their life, their bodies tended to follow. Louise Hay has said the same thing.

So what does it really mean when the doctor says that there is ‘no cure’ ?

The truth is that whenever a doctor says that there is no cure it should be translated more accurately for the layman as:

  • “as far as I know” . (Therefore, you have to seek out other sources. He is not the person to help you.)
  • “in my opinion” (Hence, we say to seek a second or third medical ‘opinion’.)
  • “according to the allopathic model and only using the allopathic methods” (Allopathic methods by themselves are not successful with this condition. Therefore, you must  seek other treatments or put together your own healing prescription.)
  • “surgery and prescription drugs alone cannot cure it”. (But maybe nutrition or herbs or homeopathy or ____ can do so, or do so in combination with allopathic methods.)
  • “yet!” (Discoveries are being made all the time. In fact, many discoveries such as those for various forms of cancer have been discovered, but have been suppressed in this country although they may be used successfully elsewhere.)
  • “I don’t want to admit that I can’t fix it, so I am just going to say it can’t be fixed”

Physicians are not immune from their egos or their professional bias. Such bias is influenced by the pharmaceutical industry that largely funds medical schools, medical research, and provides direct financial kickbacks for chemotherapy and an aggressive vaccination schedule. It also provides indirect funding through perks such as free trips to conferences in plush resort settings. The pharmaceutical reps form a relationship with the physicians (and may visit them more often than their own grandchildren). The pharmaceutical industry is also the largest advertiser for media. And no one wants to kill the golden goose.

Professional arrogance can be just another form of modern tribal thinking – my tribe is better than your tribe (maybe because I sweated longer, harder and paid more to be admitted into the inner sanctum). My medical god is better and more powerful than your herbal or nutritional god. Personal beliefs, ego, or just a heavy workload can prevent a physician taking a serious look into the alternate opinions, viewpoints and approaches even within the medical profession. 

The power of belief and emotion to heal or to kill

Witch doctors have historically harnessed the power of belief and emotion to heal (the placebo response) and to kill (the nocebo response). The power to heal through suggestion is something that should be harnessed, not ridiculed. And the power to hurt or kill should be fully understood and avoided at all costs. Dr. Deepak Chopra has said “more people die of diagnosis than the disease.” To destroy a person’s hope and even worse to discourage a patient from investigating other modalities in an attempt to heal, is, in my opinion, unconsciousible.

[For more information on the placebo or nocebo response, see “Understanding Placebo’s Opposite – The Nocebo Effect”.]

How ‘Scope of Practice’ enters into the equation

Allopathic physicians through their distinctive attitudes, skills, and knowledge address physical illness within a very defined range that collectively is called their “scope of practice”. Each profession possessing a license to practice that profession has vigorously protected their ‘turf’ against the encroachment of other professions that could potentially compete with them. While no doubt, the medical establishment may have passionate opinions of protecting the lives of patients from snake oil salesmen, some of this is simply guarding their monopoly from intrusion in the marketplace. 

In the United States,  a group called The Scope of Practice Partnership (SOPP) exists as “a collaborative effort of the American Medical Association, American Osteopathic Association (AOA), national medical societies, state medical associations and state osteopathic medical associations that focuses the resources of organized medicine to oppose scope of practice expansions by non-physician providers that threaten the health and safety of patients….This goal is accomplished through a combination of legislative activities; regulatory activities; judicial advocacy; and programs of information, research and education. The AMA provides staff to manage the operation of the SOPP.”

For years, physicians were able to successfully prevent chiropractors, naturopaths, psychologists, and hypnotherapists from practicing. Each separate profession had had to fight for their right to exist. As I was very active in fighting the New Jersey Psychological Board of Examiners from trying to put hypnotherapists out of business in the 1990’s, I know a lot of  how this works. As said, this is strictly a turf war – professional arrogance linked to threat of losing a lucrative revenue stream.

Upcoming Workshops

At the American Society of Dowsers Conference taking place at the State University of New York (SUNY) in New Paltz, New York, I will be giving a full day Workshop “Locating & Clearing the Mental/Emotional Drivers of Disease” on Wednesday, 6/13. See www.dowsers.org.

At the West Coast Dowsers Conference, University of California, Santa Cruz, I will be giving a full day Workshop “Therapeutic Dowsing & Telepathic Healing – Dowsing for Mental & Emotional Issues” on Tuesday, 7/3.  See http://www.dowserswestcoast.org

Lastly, at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention in Marlborough, Massachusetts, August 10-12, I will be giving a shorter Workshop: “Hypnosis For Mind-Body Healing—Finding And Eliminating The Mental And Emotional Drivers Of Disease”, and a Seminar “Pendulum Dowsing For Hypnotists—Powerful Investigative, Healing, and Business Tool!” ​See https://ngh.net

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

Locating & Clearing the Mental & Emotional Drivers of Disease

Chicken or Egg – Which came first?

Both physicians and alternative healing practitioners acknowledge the major role that stress has in breaking down the body’s ability to defend itself against disease. Some such as Dr. Deepak Chopra are particularly insistent that mental and emotional stress plays a part of every health challenge.

While illness causes stress whether through worry, financial expenditures, loss of income while ill, inability to do the things you used to do, time expenditures to figure out and address the problem, etc.,  stress causes or contributes to illness by robbing the body of precious resources such as energy and nutrients to deal with issues that it otherwise would have had for digestion, detoxification, growth, defense and repair.

Sudden emotional shock

Some stress such as the death of a loved one, the loss of one’s home, homeland, livelihood is so devastating that there is a clear connection to physical breakdown.

German oncologist, Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer, after exhaustive study of 20,000 cancer patients with different kinds of cancer, as well as studying patients with other diseases, found that people with the same diagnosis experienced a similar emotional shock. The results of his work became German New Medicine. His work is extremely interesting and can assist in the resolution of health conditions not addressed any other way. A listing of the emotional shock related to specific diseases is found here. An interesting article an chart of how an emotional shock can lead to cancer is found here.

Slow wearing away of body resources

But while a sudden emotional shock can cause illness, frequently the stress is a slow, steady, cumulative effect of unresolved issues that wear away the body’s resources so that it can no longer muster the strength to protect itself. It may involve beliefs, attitudes, issues, or coping strategies for stress that cause a person to not do what he or she knows to be wise, or to do what he knows to be destructive or risky to health such as smoking.

Genetic factors

While some health issues or vulnerabilities are thought to be genetic, Bruce Lipton, PhD, biologist and author of The Biology of Belief, says that each gene has a dozen or so possible expressions, of which disease may only be one. Rather, Lipton says that it is the environment that determines how a gene will be expressed. And by environment he means how the cell or the individual interprets his environment. For example, is the environment considered dangerous or upsetting? Is it threatening in any way? 

Where do fears come from?

  • Some fears come from direct experience, or more precisely from the interpretation or judgment made about that experience. 
  • Some are promoted by the media
  • Some are adopted from or taught by your culture, family or group with which you closely identify.
  • Some are absorbed in the womb.

For example, if your mother was pregnant with you when your father was away at war, if your parents were young and worried about financially being able to support you, if they were fighting a lot, if your mother was raped or abandoned and going to have to raise you without the love and support of others, these emotions could have been absorbed in the womb. Hypnotic regression has shown this over and over again.

  • Some fears are inherited.

Scientists are now finding that emotions such as fears can be inherited. For example, Scientists at Emory University were able to demonstrate that fear could be deliberately created in a group of mice and then passed down to future generations of offspring. In this study, researchers repeatedly exposed a group of mice to the smell of acetophenone and then subjected them to an electric shock. They then tested two future generations of their offspring and found that they ‘inherited’ a fear response to the smell alone. 

This has implications for humans. As Emory Psychiatry Department Dr Brian Dias has said: “We have begun to explore an underappreciated influence on adult behaviour – ancestral experience before conception.

“From a translational perspective, our results allow us to appreciate how the experiences of a parent, before even conceiving offspring, markedly influence both structure and function in the nervous system of subsequent generations.

“Such a phenomenon may contribute to the etiology and potential intergenerational transmission of risk for neuropsychiatric disorders such as phobias, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder.”

A new field called epigenetics involves studying the biological marking of the DNA as a result of personal experiences. This marking can be passed down through future generations.

In a recent article published by The Telegraph, Marcus Pembrey, professor and paediatric geneticist at University College London, said that the Emory study provided ‘compelling evidence’ for the biological transmission of memory. “It addresses constitutional fearfulness that is highly relevant to phobias, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorders, plus the controversial subject of transmission of the ‘memory’ of ancestral experience down the generations.”

study published in the Journal of Neuroscience used MRI to show that brain patterns inherited from both parents have an impact on anxiety, autism, addiction, dyslexia and other conditions, and that babies born to moms who are depressed during pregnancy are more likely to become depressed as adolescents. New York’s Mount Sinai Hospital discovered that genetic changes stemming from trauma suffered by Holocaust survivors can be passed on to their children.

Before emotion comes experience. And it is the interpretation or judgment about that experience that determines which emotion is felt. For example, the same ski slope can evoke fear in some or exhilaration in others.  It is the interpretations or judgments about the world (safe or scary), about the group (nurtured and protected or not), about the self (worthy or not, loved and wanted or not), that have everything to do with supporting health or disease.  This has been revealed in multiple past life hypnotic regressions.

Hypnotic regression has also found that physical conditions and weaknesses can be carried over from past lives. However, once the relevant traumatic event or events were processed and resolved hypnotically, long-time physical pain or ailments sometimes have melted away.

In Summary

Mental and emotional issues of both the patient and possibly his ancestors, of this lifetime and possibly others, need to be addressed in healing. While a person may know or suspect what stressors are implicated in his illness, a great deal of what caused or contributed to the problem, or is interfering with healing now, may well be unknown or unconscious.

Both hypnosis and dowsing excel in locating and clearing the stuck energies, the related negative beliefs or judgments, and the unhealed trauma (both yours and that of your ancestors). Chiropractor Dr. Bradley Nelson has also developed an excellent method of locating and clearing stuck negative emotions. He calls his system the Emotion Code, and has written a book by that title explaining the process.

3 Summer Workshops Addressing This Subject

At the American Society of Dowsers Conference taking place at the State University of New York (SUNY) in New Paltz, New York, I will be giving a full day Workshop “Locating & Clearing the Mental/Emotional Drivers of Disease” on Wednesday, 6/13. See www.dowsers.org.

Here, we will look at the shocks and internal conflicts that trigger many specific health conditions, the metaphysical meanings of disease, secondary gain, and multiple other ways to dowse out and resolve the major stressors that once complete can free up energy for the body to move back towards health. 

 At the West Coast Dowsers Conference, University of California, Santa Cruz, I will be giving a full day Workshop “Therapeutic Dowsing & Telepathic Healing – Dowsing for Mental & Emotional Issues” on Tuesday, 7/3.  See http://www.dowserswestcoast.org

In this workshop, we will work with a large number of charts and checklists to identify and release stuck energies, extract the positive learning from experiences, and enhance positive energy. This frees up energy that can be applied to physical healing, personal goal achievement, and living your life with greater enthusiasm, joy and vitality.

We will investigate the various ages of your life including the future, key relationships, typical life events, beliefs, judgments, prejudices, addictive thinking, fears and other emotions, repeating negative patterns and habits. While covering all this may seem a formidable task, I will show you a shortcut to cut to the chase of the matter. Not only will you learn how to do all of the above for yourself, but to do so telepathically with others who have requested your assistance.

Lastly, at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention in Marlborough, Massachusetts, August 10-12, I will be giving a shorter Workshop: “Hypnosis For Mind-Body Healing—Finding And Eliminating The Mental And Emotional Drivers Of Disease”, and a Seminar “Pendulum Dowsing For Hypnotists—Powerful Investigative, Healing, and Business Tool!” ​See https://ngh.net

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Upset as Opportunity

Fuming over what you don’t like and the people you hold responsible for it may let off steam, but it burns up your precious life force energy and it doesn’t change anything! 

I suggest that you as quickly as possible accept that what happened, and is now history. Fuming doesn’t change history. The question is

What do you want to do about it?

How can you use it constructively?

Can you turn it into a blessing?

As I have said in previous posts, deliberately choose to look for a way to turn every experience especially the upsetting ones into a blessing. This will happen if you grow, if you learn something positive, if you take constructive action on things that previously you neglected or let slide, and if you finally turn your attention to dealing with wounds and issues long past but never resolved.

When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, miracles of positive change can occur!

You can train yourself to use upset as a powerful

  • catalyst for healing yourself and
  • as motivation to create something better.

Here’s how.

Write the answers to the questions below. If you have trouble identifying them, brainstorm possible answers on paper and dowse them out. If you don’t know how to dowse, brainstorm anyway. Then close your eyes and ask yourself the question again. Or just write and write until you get to the core issue.

  • What’s happening that I don’t want?
  • What’s not happening that I do want?
  • What’s the key issue here?
  • What are my thoughts about what’s happening?
  • What are my emotions about it?
  • What do I want to happen instead?
  • What’s the essence of what I want?
  • What’s stopping me from getting it?
  • Is there another way to get the essence of what I want?
  • When were other times that something similar happened?
  • When was the earliest time that something similar to this happened?

Work your way through all of these questions, addressing them as you go.

Then ask some further questions:

  • How did I contribute in any way to what happened?
  • What positive steps can I make or what changes need to occur so this doesn’t happen again?
  • How can I improve my ____ (communication, follow-through, systems, etc.) so that my _____ (business, relationships) are actually better as a result of what happened?

Doing all of the above will move you forward.

Heal yourself rather than trying to change someone else!

Recently I spoke with someone who was upset because he had been unable to get someone else to change. He had tried talking to the person, but wasn’t getting anywhere. I suggested that he first identify and then address his own emotions and his thoughts around it before speaking to the person again so that they would not cause the person to tune him out.

In other words, if you are emotionally upset, you will make the other person defensive, and less likely to even consider changing their behavior and do what you want. You need to find a way to speak to the person from a neutral place, or better yet, from a place of common ground.

One way of starting that process is to detach your worth, your self-esteem from what someone else is doing. Each person acts out of who they are, not from who you are. And incidentally, people never change for you. They may moderate their behavior somewhat if the negative consequences are great enough. But they never change for you.

Eliminate the ‘shoulds and shouldn’ts’

Another initial step to reduce your upset is to eliminate the idea that people should or shouldn’t be any certain way or do anything according to your standards. Those self-righteous judgment calls are responsible for a great deal of stress. However, once you clarify the behavior you don’t want and the behavior you do want, you will be able to clearly communicate it to the other person.

As he labeled the other person as controlling, I suggested that he could turn this situation into a blessing if he could identify and then heal all similar experiences starting with the first time he was upset because of controlling behavior. In other words, this annoying current event might be viewed as positive by alerting him to a host of unresolved similar events festering in his unconscious not only causing him stress but setting up a negative repeating pattern.

My own experience

Years ago I was being constantly hit with the energy of jealousy. I could always tell when the conference brochures hit the mailboxes, because I could feel the red hot feverish flames blasting in my face, and it made me jittery and hard to focus. Once in giving a presentation of how and why to integrate Reiki with hypnosis, I could feel the arrows coming from 3 distinct locations in the room. So I asked the Reiki Masters present to stand, and guess what? They were sitting in the very same locations. These weren’t bad people, they just must have thought that they could or should have been the ones speaking on the topic I had chosen.

While I had previously worked diligently to heal my distress because of other people’s jealousy of me, it had not stopped the negative pattern until I dealt with the root cause.  As I thought about the first time this issue had occurred , I turned my attention to the lifelong problematic relationship with my sister that started in early childhood. Only after I healed that, did the negative pattern stop. I have not been affected since.

Whether any one is or has been jealous of me since, I don’t feel it anymore. I am not impacted. My energy is no longer drained.

Moral of the story:

Heal the root cause to stop the pattern.

Make positive changes going forward.

And if you do that, it will have been a blessing.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

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