What the Law of Attraction Misses

This is a reworked article originally written in March 17, 2015 that was formerly called: 

“Why Shit Happens (or doesn’t)”

Much talk has been made on the Law of Attraction–that you create your own reality through the predominant content of your thoughts, and that by dwelling on positive or negative thoughts, you will draw positive or negative experiences into your life. Popularized by New Thought authors (see list of authors here), the New Age Movement, channelers such as Esther Hicks, and promoted in movies such as The Secret, it has been so hyped up that it takes on the trappings of religious dogma (Science of Mind, Unity, Christian Science, etc.) or cultish in it’s uncritical, narrow minded philosophy. Followers seem to fall into the category of ‘true believers’.

As a hypnotherapist, I agree that the Law of Attraction does seem to operate. It is my job to help a client identify the self-sabotaging thoughts, emotions and expectations that may underlie any unwanted habit, pattern or experience. And it is my job to help them resolve their issues, healing trauma and other blockages, and shifting limiting beliefs and negative expectations so that the person is able to be more hopeful, take appropriate action, and move on with their life less burdened by the stress of the past in order to create a more rewarding future.

That being said, the Law of Attraction is only a possible cause (not the only possibility) and even where found, may be only a partial cause of why particular things happen to you. While important, it is, nonetheless, simplistic and very incomplete. And in it’s claim that it is the only causative factor, it lacks compassion for self and others, and it neglects the other things that may be responsible totally apart from LOA, or in addition be at cause. In other words, the possibilities are:

  • Law of Attraction.
  • Law of Attraction AND ___.
  • Something else.

If you are blind to other factors that are or may be involved, you cannot, you will not take corrective action on them. That is a disservice.

Furthermore, ideas, beliefs, theories, models of reality change over time. They sometimes are more like the fad of the moment. They come and they go. Consequently, it is a mistake to get too attached or you will miss new insights. If you maintain an open-minded attitude, you may come to a greater understanding of how the mind works in creating our world. And as you examine other points in history or other cultures, other areas of the world where people have a vastly different beliefs, ideas, and experience of life than we do in our more privileged Western society, you may have a more expansive understanding in both our freedom and our limitations in what we can and cannot effect. 

But even within the Law of Attraction what is not usually talked about are the thoughts that are the most powerful aspect and the hardest to remedy are those that are so much a part of you that they taken for granted, unspoken, unverbalized, and, therefore, invisible. While your life gives you clues, yet other dynamics beyond your predominant thoughts can be responsible for drawing experiences to you. Hence, the beauty of hypnosis to uncover and release them.

In my first edition of Your Unlimited Potential, a complete self-hypnosis course book first published in 1992 [available through my website], I wrote about this New Thought principle and the others listed below in an entire chapter entitled Laws of Mind. While I am now embarrassed at how much the New Age Movement and New Thought permeates that chapter, New Thought only goes back about a 100 years since  Phineas Quimby. Quimby was a Mesmerist (follower of Franz Mesmer and the early hypnotists) in the early 19th century that healed Mary Baker Eddy, founder of Christian Science. Eddy in turn influenced Ernest Holmes who founded Religious Science (of which Fenwick Holmes, Raymond Charles Barker, Stuart Grayson, Louise Hay, Michael Beckwith, Joseph Murphy, Jean Houston, Terry Cole-Whittaker, and William Hornaday are notable ministers). Eddy also influenced Charles and Ethel Fillmore, founder of Unity Church.

  • Overall Law of Cause and Effect
  • Law of Knowing
  • Law of Love
  • Law of Gratitude
  • Law of Forgiveness
  • Law of Nonresistance
  • Law of Substitution
  • Law  of Belief (Expectancy)
  • Law of Faith
  • Law of Justification (Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
  • Law of Judgment
  • Law of Declaration
  • Law of Feeling (Emotion)
  • Law of Dominant Effect
  • Law of Identification
  • Law of Imagination
  • Law of Practice (Repetition)
  • Law of Neutrality
  • Law of No Limitations
  • Law of Association
  • Law of Compatibility
  • Law of Reaping and Sowing (Karma)
  • Law of Compensation (Giving and Receiving)
  • Law of Relaxation (Allowing)
  • Law of Release
  • Law of Vacuum
  • Law of Opposites
  • Law of Reverse Effect
  • Law of Pharsing
  • Law of the Now
  • Law of Permanence
  • Law of Connection
  • Law of One

But here’s another take on how we may be creating our reality:

While I believe that all of the above influence what happens to us, I noted that physicist, Tom Campbell has another take on why we draw things to us. He says that

We draw experiences to us as learning opportunities, both individually and collectively.

Tom Campbell on Creating Our Future           tom-atom.png

Campbell, author of My Big Toe, consciousness researcher, out-of-body experiencer, and former associate of Robert Monroe (founder of the Monroe Institute),  says that physical existence is a virtual reality. The future is a yet unrealized array of multiple possibilities of everything that could happen. As to what does happen or is most likely, he says:

If a particular occurrence is determined to be an effective learning opportunity for someone or everyone, the probability of it happening is increased. The system is designed to automatically deliver timely custom-fit individual learning opportunities — the presentation of such opportunities to individuals or groups is part of the feedback one receives relative to the choices one makes. Because the point of the system is to overcome fear (about you – high entropy) and replace it with love (about others – low entropy), if you have fear, the feedback system will manifest that fear in PMR [physical reality] to force you to deal with it (learn) or suffer the consequences.”

If it is your soul’s intention, or the intention of the virtual reality system of which you are a part, to learn and to grow, well then, you will be provided with experiences to do just that. That does not mean that you will learn, but the opportunity is there to do so.

For example, years ago I realized that I was much too naive, and, consequently, trusted untrustworthy people. So I made a clear intention to learn the true, underlying nature of others, their motivations and personal, hidden agendas. Immediately after I made that my intention  I came across one pathological lier, manipulative, self-serving or conniving person (all with smiling faces and pleasant exterior personalities) after another. How could someone be outwardly nice and inwardly, not nice? Think of white collar criminals, con men, snake oil salesmen. But did I learn? Yes, I am more discerning today.

Even if you are a good, positive person, you can draw painful experiences in order for you (or someone else) to learn. Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people?

Here’s another example. About a decade ago, I found that a ‘friend’ and colleague had plagiarized a full eight pages of my stop smoking book. Now I have never plagiarized anyone so I did not deserve this on the basis of karma. In fact, I go out of my way to acknowledge sources. Nor was I focused on fear that someone might steal from me. In fact, I trusted this person as well as my other colleagues to behave differently. So I did not draw this experience on the level of my predominant thoughts (aka Law of Attraction).  I worked hard to do the research myself and the hard work of writing the book, and here comes someone who above all should not mistreat a friend, and a colleague and fellow presenter who above all should set a shining professional standard of behavior. Furthermore, we had just roomed together at a conference where we were both teaching, so this betrayal was a shock.

Yet in meditation, I was informed that it was a soul agreement–that if she did this (not predestined to happen), that I would be the one to confront her and help her to learn not to steal someone else’s intellectual property. But there was also something in it for me–I could learn to more powerfully to stand up for myself and establish better boundaries instead of letting things slide. This understanding enabled me to let go of the anger and to proceed to taking prompt, effective legal and other countermeasures even though it was very time-consuming to do so.

Pain is a great motivator

My original push to study psychology and many self-help modalities  was precisely to deal with and stop the stream of unpleasant ‘learning opportunities’ that life dished out. Of course, at the time, I did not perceive such events as an opportunity. But over time, I decided to use them as such. After all, I might as well get something good out of the experience. Why not salvage something out of the debris, right? As a result, that decision, repeated over and over again as new events showed up, was a powerful part of allowing me to mature and move with greater grace and ease through life. It also stopped some of those types of experiences happening again, or slowing me down in an emotional quagmire if they did.

Although only one factor among many, thoughts and emotions absolutely do impact upon what experiences show up and how they affect you. It is not always obvious, nor necessarily a direct correlation, nor necessarily immediate. But sooner or later, they build sufficient momentum to bring a harvest.

The collective mindset

Scientists are more and more talking about the morphogenetic field, and entanglement of consciousness.  This theory says that the consciousness of each of us is tied psychically to the larger whole of humanity. Your thoughts and emotions are added to my own and that this is what can attract a collective (common) experience.

While the humans may not appear to have the same kind of hive mind of a school of fish or swarming ants, it appears that collective human consciousness exists. My mindset is entangled with yours and yours is entangled with mine. Even where they are disagree, even when antithetical, on some level, they are felt, and that will influence our sense of ease or dis-ease, our individual mood, and our choices (congruent or reactive). The most powerful  effect will be felt with those with whom we are in rapport (friends and family), then with those in close association (neighbors, work associates), those with whom we identify, but ultimately with the larger humanity. The commonly held thoughts and emotions in any group, neighborhood, region, even nation can sometimes be felt. Think of any place where a tragedy has taken place like 9/11 or a mass celebration like Christmas, New Year’s Eve or the end of a war.

Applying the Law of Attraction to the Collective

Perhaps this newer scientific understanding of the morphogenetic field and entanglement can be joined with age-old spiritual awareness that you and your brother are one, that what you do to another, you also do to yourself. If we apply Campbell’s idea that we draw experiences collectively as well as individually to learn, and to move from fear to love, let’s learn as fast as we can to jointly experience a nicer, kinder world.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

 

 

 

Healing Your Past

movieposterA passage from the movie, Hope Floats, (see  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y48KWBR3YYA) with Sandra Bullock, Harry Connick Jr. and Gena Rowlands, has stuck in my mind over the years. Sandra’s daughter in the film (Bernice Pruitt) says, “My dad says that childhood is the happiest time of my life. But, I think he’s wrong. I think my mom’s right. She says that…”

[Bernice’s voice fades as Birdee (Sandra Bullock) takes over]
Birdee Pruitt: [laughing] “Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That’s what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too…”
Childhood is such a mixed bag of blessings and challenges. It is where you lay down the framework of beliefs including those about yourself, your world, and what you can expect to achieve and enjoy. Many of those beliefs are false and limiting in various degrees.  It then becomes part of your work (as my friend, Michael Ellner would say) to get out of the negative trance you are already in. That is why I learned self hypnosis and a great many other modalities, first to help myself, and years later to help others.
Whatever tool (hypnosis, EFT, meditation, etc.) you use to help you, I think it falls to all of us to work on healing our past. It is a goldmine that like horse shit can be transformed and then harvested as manure to make our garden grow a richer life, allowing us to find more joy, love and fulfillment.

Thoughts Carry a Train

And how to derail that train when you don’t like where it is going!

Today, I heard about the death of a friend’s family member, and also of a hypnosis colleague giving a workshop on how to deal with grief and loss. This brought up some thoughts and memories of my own of how thoughts connect to similar thoughts taking us to a predictable emotional conclusion.

One of my clients was setting up a meeting at Windows on the World restaurant on top of the World Trade Center on 9/11. Located on the 107th floor of the north tower with a conference facility on the 106th floor, with commanding views of the city, it was a popular destination with building occupants, tourists, and city residents (the restaurant served about 800 dinners nightly).

When the first hijacked plane crashed into the north tower at 8:46 am, the restaurant had regular breakfast patrons on the 107th floor and a conference for the Risk Water Group on the 106th floor. About 73 employees and an unidentified number of patrons died in the fire and building collapse. One of my clients, Luke Dudek, was among those killed.

The last time I saw Luke was at a mutual friend’s funeral, that of Rodney DeMichael. Rodney had been on the Board of Advisors for my business, Unlimited Potential. As a dear friend, social worker, counselor, founder and head of the Center for Eating Disorders in Livingston, NJ, Rodney had served  as most valued guide and mentor when I had questions about or needed help with a client, especially where I suspected that such client or prospective client had mental or emotional issues that required specialized professional treatment beyond my expertise as a hypnotherapist.

Rodney had been brought in also to lecture on psychopathology to my advanced, professional hypnotherapy students. When he got ill, he came weekly to the Reiki Sharing Clinic I ran. Over the years, many of my students and graduates worked on him, some even traveling to the hospital during his final stay.

So Luke’s death brought up memories of Rodney’s death, Rodney’s funeral and the silly hat I wore just for his benefit, thoughts about his life, my association with him, my student’s associations with him, and his friends and family. It also brought up times I myself had been at Windows on the World, the magnificent crystals there that were the size of small elephants, the woman (another client) that sold those crystals to the restaurant from her mine in South America, and her crystal shop in Montclair, NJ. Further, Luke’s and Rodney’s deaths also brought up memories of my father’s death, that of other family members, and on and on.

Thoughts hitch to other thoughts that carry you to a predictable emotional destination!

Carolyn Myss once was explaining how to understand someone’s conversation, you have to dig down into your own memory banks for similar associations. So if someone is talking about cupcakes, you have to do an internal search for anything to do with cupcakes yourself just to understand what is being said, let alone to respond.

The outcome is that if you have any emotions tied to any of your cupcake associations, it brings up those old emotions, memories, and all related associations as well.  Anything yet unresolved that is related to the issue or topic at hand as well as to any of the free associations that resurface is added to what is going on now, and it happens in lightning speed much as Alice plunging down the rabbit hole.

Early on in my hypnosis practice, I had a client that taught me how thoughts hitch to other thoughts that carry you to a predictable destination much as coupling train cars together on a pre-determined track. You can clearly foretell the expected emotional outcome from the content of the thoughts if you catch them fast enough. If such thought associations happen often enough, it runs a groove that turns it into a habit.

‘Sarah’ (not her real name) came to me because she was sick, worried and depressed. She had multiple issues: Epstein Barr, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, etc. Not surprisingly when she woke up in the morning, her first thought was “I feel sick.” This connected to another thought, “If I’m sick, then I can’t go to work.” From there, the next thought was “If I can’t go to work, I’ll lose my job.” Next came, “if I lose my job, I’m going to lose my apartment.” Next was, “if I lose my apartment, I’m going to lose custody of my son.” Finally, the thought came, “if I lose my son, I might as well kill myself.” So from the first thought, “I feel sick”, she was rapidly in suicidal depression.

Because this thought pattern happened so frequently, I had to teach her how to derail her train of thoughts to take her to, hopefully, another emotional destination. So for the usual “I feel sick”, therefore, “I can’t go to work”, I taught her to say “at what I usually do. So what can I do?  What can I do from home to earn an income? Oh, I used to be an Editor. Maybe I could call up some of my old contacts and do something with them on the side. Maybe I could do phone solicitation, or stuff envelopes. Maybe I could make arrangements with my current boss to do some of my work from home.” 

If Sarah could deliberately change her thought pattern, decouple the usual connections, she would derail her train of thought that was guaranteed to take her into depression to possibly end up somewhere else. And maybe over time she would get ideas that would help her to solve her problems.

What’s my point?

  • As quickly as possible, to the greatest extent possible, clean up your own issues so that they do not add to the burden of dealing with future ones.
  • When old stuff comes up, make a mental note of it, or even better, write it down and deal with it at your earliest convenience, hopefully, that day. Use whatever tools you know: Emotional Freedom Technique, Tapas Acupressure, Emotion Code, Time Line Therapy, self-hypnosis, the Infinite Intelligence Process (my own technique), dowsing, etc. Where you are stuck, hypnotherapists and NLP (Neural Linguistic Programming) practitioners are skilled in helping you change and resolve non-beneficial mental and emotional patterns and limiting beliefs.
  • Deliberately ask a question that sets you off in another direction: “What if ___? How can I ___? If ___ could work, how would it work? Who could help me ___. “
  • Make a statement that while believable, changes the train tracks to another emotional destination For example,  “I’m so grateful for ___. I got through/survived ___ before. I turn this into a blessing. There’s a part of me that knows how to deal with this. I stay focused on the bigger picture. I take it one step at a time.”
  • Make a habit to challenge your assumptions, beliefs and judgments where they have been shown to be non-productive.

It is possible to change your self-talk to help yourself. And while it takes diligence and repetition to run new mental train tracks, it is profoundly worth the effort!

Resolving mental and emotional issues is my specialty. If you need extra help, I am available in person, by phone, and soon, by Skype. Call for an appointment. Free initial phone consultation: 434-263-4337.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

 

 

Picking Up Vibes

Sensing Energy

You walk into a building, a room, or down a street, and for some reason, start feeling peaceful, happy, warm, safe. Or, sometimes you might start getting agitated, scared, creeped out, or simply uncomfortable. There may not appear to be any rational reason for it, but you can’t deny that you are sensing or reacting to something. What?

I remember visiting the home of Philosopher, Jidda Krishnamurti (long since dead) in Ojai, California and I COULD NOT HELP SMILING. While I respected this sage, I certainly was not a follower. Yet, the happy energy in that space was palpable, and forcibly changed my usual overly serious continence to happy as long as I stayed in his house and immediate grounds.

I have walked into some empty churches, and immediately felt a sense of peace. And while the architecture and sheer beauty of the place may have been lovely in all of them, the peace appeared to be unrelated to aesthetics. Some of the most beautiful left me empty, and some of the plainest churches felt the best. One place where I particularly and consistently felt at ease was at the Lake Shrine of the Self Realization Fellowship in Pacific Palisades, California. It is a small, simple place in a beautiful garden with a small lake, that was dedicated by Yogi Paramahansa Yogananda (also long deceased). His followers have regularly practiced meditation there over the years.

Just what is the cause of our reactions?

  • Are we sensing energy vortexes as with those in Sedona, or other beneficial yet invisible earth energies and ley lines that were harnessed in the placement of the world’s oldest cathedrals? Perhaps. Dowsers are skilled in locating them.
  • Are we picking up on chi–the movable positive or negative life force which plays an essential role in the Chinese study of feng shui? This can take into consideration the lay of the land and a building’s placement on it, the shape of spaces and angles inside, colors, the function of the rooms and furniture placement, and much more. Feng shui has been shown to effect energy and mood.
  • Are we sensing the emotions, frame of mind, and possibly even the intentions of the current or even long past inhabitants in that space or area? For example, was I feeling the left-over residues of years of peaceful meditation, or the personality imprint of saints such as Krishnamurti or Yogananda, and of good people who had peace in their hearts who had spent a lot of time at those locations? I think so.
  • Are we feeling the residue of activities and events that occurred there? Yes, if they are powerful enough even for a single event as in an accident, murder, battle, or if repeated over time if less in intensity in daily life.
  • Are we feeling the good will and harmony or the irritation and dislike within a household or company when we walk in the door? Don’t we have the expression that ‘you could cut the atmosphere with a knife’ ?
  • Are we even picking up on the emotions and thoughts of others that are directed at us whether they are physically present with us or not? For example, am I feeling good because someone who loves me is thinking of me even though miles away? Conversely, if I am uncomfortable, is it because someone is angry with me and focusing on me at that moment? Am I picking up on their disapproval, rejection, negative judgment?

The reverse of things that make us feel good can also saturate a place and be sensed as well. This can include bad feng shui, geopathic zones, the residue of traumatic, unhappy, stressful events, or the imprint of upset, angry, fearful or depressed people.  I, personally, am very uncomfortable in or around hospitals, prisons, certain neighborhoods (whether or not obvious from the buildings), the World Trade Center, or anywhere near old battlefields, factory farms or animal feedlots.

Years ago, I was awoken in the middle of the night while camping in New Jersey by a British soldier and American Indian in hand to hand combat outside my motorhome. Dream? No. Ghosts? Again, no. It seemed more like a frozen piece of time being replayed like a broken record because of the emotional intensity in that spot.

Another night, I was compelled to follow the energy I felt in my parent’s house some time after my father’s death. Dowsing my way, much as one might follow breadcrumbs from one end of the house to the other, it lead me down to the basement to my father’s ham radio room where he spent countless, happy hours talking to people all over the world. Was this my father’s ghost? No, I felt sure that wasn’t it. It felt like the leftover residue of his concentrated energy over the years. That room and the activities there played a big part in his life.

Referring to my father, there was an intense holy and loving presence in the house after he died that lasted for some months. It extended even into the yard. Was this energy my father that was continuing to love us? Maybe. Was it the love of our deceased ancestors to comfort us? Maybe. But it felt like much, much more than either of those possibilities. Was it the spiritual energy that my father attracted by his goodness and religious devotion? It felt like the latter.

As I think about the uncomfortable energies that I have encountered over the years, especially the ones that seem to be in my own space or follow me around, I am convinced that a great deal of it falls within my own lap.

The fault in me lies not in that I perceive uncomfortable energies, but that such non-beneficial energies sometimes seems to stick and are difficult to shake because of me being in a weakened state, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

This weakened state might come from both current issues as well as past issues that I have not yet resolved. The cumulative effect makes it harder to gain perspective, and deal with those issues. It also makes me vulnerable to other stressors as well as to outside energies that drain my energy further and feed off and aggravate the very non-beneficial thoughts and emotions I am trying to heal.

Such weakening agents include:

  • Fatigue, exhaustion, lack of sufficient sleep and pushing beyond my limits.
  • Other health issues including illness, toxicity, inflammation, lowered immunity, diet.
  • Overwhelm, worry and stress in my personal life. Concern for loved ones.
  • Worry, grief, fear, anger, depression or upset about the suffering, cruelty, corruption, ignorance, injustice, and evil that I perceive or hear about in local, national, world conditions and events.
  • My own unhealed emotional wounds, limiting beliefs and judgments. This refers to like attracts like. For example, if I am sensitive to the jealousy/anger of others, it may be because I have not healed either my own jealousy or anger, or the pain from previous experiences with jealous/angry people.

I have found that anything that depresses my spirit or challenges my health makes me vulnerable to being impacted by bad vibes. But the reverse is also true.

Anything that lifts my spirits and enhances my health can strengthen my energy field and make me more resilient to non-beneficial energies, stress, and able to deal, in general, with problems or challenges of any kind.

Such energy enhancers include all the usual, common sense things like quality nutrition, sleep, detoxification, gratitude, forgiveness, love, joy, happy music and dance, loving friends and family nearby, a supportive network and community, recreation, nature, sunshine, wholesome laughter, exercise, and more.

Even if bad vibes are directed at me personally as when someone is jealous, angry or resentful or if they reject, judge or disapprove of me, if I exercise healthy diet and lifestyle habits, if I work to resolve my own personal issues, and if I challenge my own limiting beliefs and judgments, and if I have supportive, loving people around me, it makes a substantial, positive difference in being able to maintain a healthy boundaries,  equilibrium, and resiliency. Then I am less impacted by whatever disharmony, bad vibes or energy pollution is out there from any source.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

West Coast Dowsing Conference

SPEAKING AT UPCOMING WEST COAST DOWSERS CONFERENCE

in Santa Cruz, California, July 1-5, 2016!

cropped-bio-pic2.pngI am excited about presenting at this prestigious group. More details to follow.

The purpose of the West Coast Dowsers is to share and exchange ideas, teach dowsing and motivate others to explore, research, and expand their knowledge of the Earth, life and consciousness.
DOWSERSWESTCOAST.ORG