Blessings in Disguise

All of us can probably think of things like romances, houses, jobs, relocations and more that seemed great at the beginning, but then proved not so great. Maybe even after the luster wore off, we may have hung in there because of our investment in time and money, or not wanting to ‘rock the boat’,  security, or because ‘the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.’ Perhaps we tried to hang on because of embarrassment, or not wanting to admit that we were wrong or made a mistake.

We probably also know of those sudden change of fortune — breakups, job or business losses, disappointments or rejections — that seemed to be so horrible at the time, but which led eventually to something much better, and to much needed growth. 

We never know how things will turn out

There is an oft told Sufi story about a farmer whose son found a wild horse. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed, “that your son has this new horse!” “Maybe yes, and maybe no,” said the farmer.

Then the son as he was ‘breaking’ this horse, was thrown off it’s back and broke his leg. “How awful,” said the neighbors, “that your son broke his leg.” Again, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, and maybe no.” 

Then war came to the region and all the young men in the village were rounded up to go into battle. “How wonderful,” said the neighbors, “that your son doesn’t have to go to war.” And once again, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, and maybe no.” 

A true story

My friend, Nelson was told by his boss on a Friday to take his department of 40 people out to lunch and deliver the bad news that because of the Japanese buyout of their firm, that the entire department was being let go.

So after lunch, the security guards walked everyone back to their desk to pick up a 2-week severance check and their personal items before being escorted out the door.

On Friday, they were all in shock and thinking it was something terrible that just happened to them. But on Tuesday, all those not dismissed were dead because they worked on the very floor of one of the Twin Towers in Lower Manhattan where one of the planes came through. The date was 9/11.

Sometimes what looks like the worst thing that could have happened to you turns out to be the best thing that could have happened!

 

Perhaps we can acknowledge that the job, business, home or relationship we lost had it’s downsides. There may have been things about it that we didn’t like, that we barely tolerated, that were highly stressful, that hemmed us in, that limited our ability to grow or explore as we grew. We may recognize that what we had and once wanted was no longer so, and that we were moving, or about to move, or needed to move in a different direction. 

Sometimes, what we lost might have been okay or even good while it lasted, but sudden events caused us to move on to something that was even better and more fulfilling. It might have opened up many new experiences, and to explore other parts of ourselves in wonderful ways that otherwise would not have happened.

Another true story

A couple living in California lost their home and all of their possessions in one of the wild fires that came through their canyon. Totally stressed and not knowing what to do next, they left their jobs, and decided to take six months off while they considered their options.

Deciding to buy and move into a small RV, they started wandering the many national parks. They enjoyed it so much that they started writing a blog, and then went on the speaking circuit to motorhome enthusiasts discussing various aspects of living in a motorhome full time, nice places to visits, and how to make money on the road. It became their new livelihood. They were very happy in their new life and considered the house fire a blessing.

I followed them for a few years while I was doing a small bit of the same after a divorce. 

And another true story

A friend of mine in Ohio was woken up by her cat who would just not let her spend a minute more in bed. As she came into consciousness, she smelled smoke. And indeed, the house was on fire. Both she and the cat got out safely. Luckily, the kids had already gone to school and her husband was at work.

The back of this 19th century farm house burnt down. But the rest of the entire house and all the possessions were either soaked and destroyed from water from the firemen’s hoses, or saturated with smoke. All the clothes, rugs, upholstery, and many other belongings had to be trashed. 

The family had a trailer brought onto the property as they too decided what to do next. They knew that they wanted to stay there and rebuild as they had friends and roots. But how to rebuild? 

My friend gave everyone a sheet of paper. She, her husband and each of the three kids all wrote out their wish list for a ‘dream house’, ideal bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, etc.

Knowing their budget from the insurance, they devised plans on the most important wish list items. The kids got their own bedrooms, and a bath with double sinks and a shower. My friend got a large working area of the kitchen with a large center island open to a dining area of the kitchen big enough for company. She wanted and got a sewing room. Her husband got a comfortable t.v. room and a recliner. 

In short, they end up with a wonderful, beautiful, totally renovated and updated ‘new’ house, along with new clothes, new furniture that they couldn’t have afforded ANY OTHER WAY!

My story

More than two decades ago, I was praying to fulfill my purpose or mission in life. Immediately, my marriage fell apart. One day my husband said that he didn’t know if he wanted to be married anymore. I was devastated. Yes, I knew we had problems, but I am one that hangs in there always hoping that things will improve even though I was also not satisfied in the relationship. 

Soon after I had a dream about a dilapidated but once beautiful house. It needed tons of work – work that was daunting. Everything had to be renovated even though the house ‘bones’ were good. I was so discouraged and not sure that I was really wanted to go through what it would require to be beautiful again. It could be better for sure, but was it going to be worth it?  Would enough get done so that I would be happy with it?

Then I found out that he was being unfaithful. That was the final straw and was the one thing that would allow me permission to file for divorce. Indeed, it pushed me to do so and move on with my life. And it turned out to be the best possible thing that could have happened. Today, I am grateful for his bad behavior, because it freed me from a toxic situation full of constant lies and distrust. 

Conclusion

While like the Sufi farmer, we may not know where life is leading us when hit with what appears to be a sudden loss of good fortune. But we can make a decision that we are going to learn from and grow through it. And that one way or another, we are going to make these sudden changes work for us – even bless us and others.

As I have written about in previous blog articles, you might ask:

  • If it could work, how might it work?
  • If something good can come out of this, what might that be?
  • How can I turn this into an opportunity? 
  • How can I grow through this experience?
  • What can I learn from this that not only helps me, but helps someone else?

In short:

  • How can I turn this into a blessing?

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FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: http://www.roxannelouise.com or call 434-263-4337

Copyright 6/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

 

 

 

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Nella Bokman
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 23:10:01

    This article brought so much hope and insight for my situation now, and helping me to redirect my thinking and practice what i teach to my clients. Thank you !

    Reply

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