Making Your Dreams Come True

Mitch Horowitz on Goals and Manifestation 

mitch-horowitzRecently I have been listening to a lot of Mitch Horowitz, speaker, author of The Miracle Club and many other books on New Thought, positive thinking, and the occult. He references many of the authors I have read over decades, reiterating what I have been practicing and teaching on goal setting and achievement including creating miracles in your life. But he says it so well, that I am going to summarize his bullet points here with my own commentary.

Basically, in order to manifest your goals and create miracles in your life:

  • You must have a very NARROWLY DEFINED CHIEF AIM.

This chief aim may be expressed multiple ways with smaller goals as part of the overall direction.

For example, my chief aim is to use my voice to uplift, inspire and facilitate mental and emotional healing. I do this through organizing and running teleconferences, teaching, speaking, writing, and making products. I also belong to professional organizations where I can share, develop and express my chief aim. Years ago, I followed this same chief aim through being a professional classical singer.

  • Your goal needs to be PASSIONATE. You need to want it MORE than other distractions. 

It is this passion that will mobilize your energies to do the work and overcome challenges.

  • In addition to being very SPECIFIC, this goal needs to be held with SINGLE MINDED FOCUS. This will give you greater energy and stamina to push through to do what is needed. 

One way to keep your focus is through visualization. Imagine any scene that would imply achievement of your goal.

  • You need to make a DECISION to pursue this goal now. It is not a ‘someday’.
  • For a goal to be authentic, it must be ACTIONABLE. You have to be able to take concrete steps in the direction of it’s achievement. It is cannot be a daydream for which you can do nothing to promote.
  • Your goal must be ETHICAL and in keeping with your CORE VALUES. Furthermore, if you have any partners and collaborators, everyone needs to be in alignment both with your goal and values.

If your goal is in conflict with your values and ethics, you will experience problems in achieving them or will achieve them at a price such as in health or relationships.

  • You need to INTELLEGENTLY PERSERVERE.

See my earlier blog “Under, Over, Around and Through” as an example of bulldog perserverence and yet also knowing when to shift direction.

  • PRAY for what you want. This can be a request, but it can also be a demand or even be waving your fist.

Jean Slatter calls this Hiring the Heavens and describes it in her book by same title. I write about this in my own book Accessing More – Tapping Into the Eternal Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process. The act of prayer summons both internal resources and the something to which we are all linked – that greater sea of consciousness and the Great Intelligence behind all that is.

  • Manifestation has a gestation period. This is the Sabbath, and a time of exercising PATIENCE and REST.

Do what work you can, and then do something to lift and renew your spirit in some way. This will give you fresh energy to bring to your goal later.

  • While you are waiting, STRIVE FOR EXCELLENCE.

This continual application and learning prepares you for whatever opportunities do come your way. It also keeps your goal in focus, adding more and more energy to attract what you want.

LIMITS to Mental Causality:

Mitch acknowledges that we live under many laws and forces that effect mental causality. Results are not guaranteed by just following the Law of Attraction. By thinking it so, by visualizing and feeling you can direct miracles into your life. But you cannot always make what you want happen the way you want, when or how. Nonetheless, these are things you can do to increase the odds in your favor.

Copyright 1/2019 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

My Personal Bias

Beliefs, attitudes, as well as some driving forces in my life’s path.

Since friends and followers know that I work with clients, write self-help books and teach classes, you should be aware of my underlying beliefs and attitudes. So here they are:

  • I identify myself, and believe others to be, inherently good, worthy, loved and cherished.

I consider that I am a “chip off the old block” of the Great Intelligence that created all that is, and not damned because some mythical couple in the very dim past of the Book of Genesis ate an apple. Nor does a rib make me as a woman less than a man.

I believe that all naturally created life forms have a purpose, right to exist and an intrinsic (even if undiscovered) value

  • I think that the Great Intelligence plays by creating and exploring different possibilities, experiences, and learning through it’s creations.

This means that I believe that our deepest desires for our life and chosen work are holy and need to be respected.

  • I imagine being already recognized and accepted into an inner circle of mutual admiration and support with those famous, outstanding leaders and others that I deeply respect, admire and choose to pattern myself after.

This helps me to develop my potential, and with a deep breath to offer my gifts to the world without undue humility. It also sets up opportunities for me to do so.

  • I attempt to connect with what I consider Source.

This provides energy, guidance and support.

  • I am aware of unseen spiritual forces that are on my team.

I feel that there is an invisible group assisting me in my life. In some areas, I may be the one in baseball terminology ‘on base’, making the decisions of when to swing and choosing where to aim, while they are watching and cheering me on from the bleachers, perhaps wincing at my misses.

But in other areas such as my writing and client work, I am very aware of a collaborative effort especially as I ask for help. Sometimes I am very clear of ideas and information being fed into my mind that are precisely what a client needs in order to heal. The more I focus on being of service to someone else, the more I am assisted with good ideas and information.

  • I try to remember to notice and to connect with the beauty, natural rhythm and healing power of nature.

Fortunately, some benefit rubs off by proximity even if I am not paying attention. So I choose to live in a rural area, not too isolated, but not too close so that I can enjoy the tranquility and scenery.

  • I believe that I have something of value to offer and have a passionate drive to express that and leave a legacy behind for the benefit of those that follow.
  • And I feel strongly that each of us has some wisdom that needs to be passed on to future generations.  It is an awful waste if this is lost.

It gives me an incredible satisfaction and burst of energy to work on an article, book, help a client, or prepare to teach a class no matter how time consuming because I feel I am living on my purpose. 

This simple spiritual that I have sung as a child sums up my determination:

  • I hold an absolute clear intention and a nothing-withheld determination to release all blocks, known and unknown, to my full healing now for this lifetime and all others. 
  • I have an absolute commitment to help others who are willing to do the same.

Change is required for any kind of healing. And commitment for that change is a prerequisite.

  • Whenever possible, I express the sheer joy of life through music and dance.

I believe that life is a precious gift meant to be celebrated. This plus love makes it worth living.

My question to you:

  • What central attitudes or beliefs do you hold that guide your life?
  • What wisdom – big or small – have you gained?

I am interested in your answers.

Copyright 1/26/2019 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

Finding Your Why!

The end of December and beginning of January are traditional times to reflect on the year past and set goals for the year ahead. People think about getting rid of bad habits and accomplishing a long list of things that they have never been able to do before. Yet unless they do something different, it is likely that these goals will not get done this year either.

New Year’s Resolutions tend to wither on the vine before February rolls around. Setting goals, making ‘to do’ lists, and having the best of intentions are simply not good enough. You have to have a big enough reason, a reason to get off the couch, a reason to do a bunch of things you don’t like or are outside of your comfort zone especially when you are tired, stressed, or there is a good movie on Netflix. This is what I call finding your ‘why’. 

Why New Year’s Resolutions and Goals Fail

In an earlier blog article “When Goals Lack Luster”I addressed part of why people do not achieve what they would like. Here they are:

  1. The goals are not really your goals. They sound good but really belong to someone else, hence, they don’t inspire you to take action. 
  2. Internal conflicts – there is a part of you that wants it, but also a part that doesn’t. Until you resolve it, you are literally fighting yourself.
  3. You either do not have a big enough reason or cannot see the connection to your core values or soul path to do the work necessary and overcome whatever challenges are involved.
  4. Negative beliefs, assumptions, and judgments
  5. Not knowing how to achieve these goals, who to turn to for help, the first steps to take, and not having faith that you can figure these things out as you go along.

But here, I would like to address #3 — finding the underlying reason why you want what you want especially focusing on your core values and primary life direction. This reason, which I call your ‘Why’ also relates to ‘Relevant’ in SMART goals listed below.

What are SMART goals?

SMART is an acronym for each element that needs to be in place for goal achievement:  

  • Specific (clear, concise goals writen down and described in detail),
  • Measurable (allowing you to track your progress with end date in mind ),
  • Achievable (challenging yet doable),
  • Relevant (fit in with your core values, overall life plan or purpose), and
  • Time-based (with dates for each part of the process).

To Achievable listed above, I would add that you need to BELIEVE that this goal is achievable even if no one has done it before, and you don’t have a clue yet how to do it yourself.

Setting SMART goals is commonly talked about in business circles because it takes goal setting out of the realm of fuzzy thinking into a clear action plan enhancing the likelihood of results.

A recent example of finding your WHY:

Right after Thanksgiving I took a train from Charlottesville, Virginia to New Jersey, picked up my son’s van and most essential belongings and drove about 3200 miles or 8 hours/day most days for 8 days to get them out to California in time for my son to start work at a job that he had only just gotten only a couple of weeks before. I had to hustle to schedule, organize, instruct caretakers for my farm, get animal houses cleaned, feed purchased, and everything ready, including getting my other businesses taken care of to make this happen.

Now, I should tell you that I hate driving and dislike leaving home especially when I don’t know where I am going and have to set up my own travel arrangements and accommodations along the way. I procrastinate endlessly when I have to go somewhere, usually waiting until the last moment. I worry incessantly about other people taking good care that my pets and farm animals are kept safe, well fed and sheltered appropriately, greenhouse and other plants watered, doors locked, etc. There are enough problems and emergencies that come up when I am here all day for me to tell you that these fears are based in reality.

And yet I offered to do this. Why? I had a big enough reason. I saw it as the only realistic solution that would allow my only child to start his wonderful new job on time, a job that would enhance the well-being of his entire family and fulfill their cherished dreams. And because of that reason, I put everything aside and got it done.

As a hypnotherapist, I work with a lot of smokers. Most important to their success is in having them identify their ‘why’. What do they want more than a cigarette? No one stops smoking because it is a good or healthy thing to do, or it costs too much, or other people are nagging them. No one stops even if doctors tell them that they have to stop. Lots of people continue to smoke after heart attacks, getting emphysema or cancer.  They only stop when they want something MORE.  

When your reason is clear and big enough, anything is possible. You will amaze yourself and others with what you can do. 

So as you look at your year ahead and what you would like to see happen this year, ask yourself

What is my ‘Why’?

 

Once you know that, then ask

And if it could work, how would it work?

 

Copyright 1/2019 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

 

 

When Goals Lack Luster

Confronting Your Malaise

Sometimes knowing what you want is fuzzy. Perhaps you have a vague feeling of wanting something more. Maybe you feel bored, stuck,  dissatisfied, restless or uneasy in your present situation, job, relationship, home, location. While some people just ‘suck it up’ and push forward with their normal routine anyway, thereby keeping their job and relationships intact, others self-medicate with food, booze, entertainment, etc. Some quit their jobs, leave their spouse, and go off to ‘find’ themselves and explore different options without any serious thought or destination in mind.

But staring your malaise in the face to clarify what is going on, and what you authentically want as opposed to what your family, society and the advertisers always hungry for your wages have programmed you to want, is something every adult needs to address in order to achieve real life satisfaction. Next follows the need to develop and follow a plan to make it happen.

External versus Internal Goals–what do you want?

Many times a person doesn’t achieve or follow through with their goals because they are not excited or inspired sufficiently to undertake the long-term and sustained action required for real achievement. Such goals may sound good. They may bring the approval of friends and family. While such goals may fall into the category of  being ‘practical’, ‘realistic’, socially respected, and lead to financial security, it is still important to tie anything to which you are going to be spending a lot of time, money, effort on doing to ultimately lead to deep, internal satisfaction for you. And while the road to your goal might involve learning and mastering a lot of things that do not interest you, it is doable IF you

keep your WHY in central focus.

For example, when I decided that I wanted to become an opera singer, the training required not only voice lessons, but piano lessons, music theory, learning foreign languages, dance and movement classes, memorization, and practicing vocal scales – the most boring of all. But I had supportive friends that sent me a card that inspired me. The card started with a fund-raising brochure put out by the Metropolitan Opera in NYC. The front pictured a legendary fat soprano with the words “The MET needs you!” To this, my friends put my name. So the card now read “The MET needs you, Roxanne”. This sat on my piano music stand encouraging me to do those ‘stupid’ scales. Oh, as postscript, I did go later to work at the MET first as Executive Secretary to the Orchestra Manager, and later singing onstage in the chorus multiple times with visiting reknown ballet companies. 

What Mama (or Dad) Wants

Many parents insist that their offspring follow goals that they have chosen for them – doctor, lawyer, Indian Chief. These include academic, sports, or creative as well as professional pursuits.

For example, in my youth, many children were unwillingly pushed into music lessons and the daily practice. But even though the goal was external to the child, that child may have later developed their own joy of making music and pursued it willingly, developing enough skill to please themselves and others. And whether music became a professional pursuit later on or not, that forced musical education had multiple benefits in teaching self-discipline, striving for excellence, appreciation for music and creating something of beauty. It might have also become a satisfying hobby or part-time way of making additional money. The same can be true of other externally applied goals.

But long term, trying to live out someone else’s dream or goals for you tends to lack passion and backfire even if on the surface it sounds laudable and your head says that you should want it. Like so many New Year’s Resolutions, the work towards such goals peters out unless it is clearly seen as a means to an end you really want for yourself.

If the driving motivation of ‘nice’ or ‘should goals’ is external and not coming from inside your core self, knowing then how to communicate with your core self is hugely helpful to clarify the direction of your long-term and soul satisfying path.

Obstacles, or why don’t you have what you want already?

Perhaps, after embarking upon your own goals, you run into a problem or conflict you didn’t know you had. For example, in a hypnosis seminar, the instructor asked us all to visualize a personal goal as if we already had achieved it. Mine was to be able to buy a big, beautiful house. Initially thrilled imaging that this house was mine, I then noticed that I was quickly disquieted. Who was going to clean it? I have always disliked housework. I would have to hire people to help me, and this brought up an uncomfortable feeling of having ‘servants’, of being the employer, boss, of being on elevated position over others, telling others what to do. Where did this come from? Had resentment against the ruling class, of master versus slave, boss versus worker, lord versus peasant somehow creeped into my DNA from ancestors past? Had I identified from characters in books, history class or had I had unpleasant experiences in possible past lives? 

Whatever the source, internal conflicts will always sabotage your efforts and have to be resolved.

But even once you know what the conflict is, you may not know how to resolve it. There may be aspects to achieving your objective that involve learning new things, developing knowledge or skills in which you have no interest or actively dislike. You may lack belief in yourself to overcome them. Such challenges may bring up past humiliation or pain.

You have to have a big enough reason to overcome challenges. Why do you want what you want?

Without a clear, driving vision of the end goal and the belief in yourself that you can overcome whatever challenges that come up, you will lose momentum. Obstacles have the potential of putting your dreams into the closet where they gather dust and die if you don’t have the tools, the belief in yourself, the motivation and vision to get through the challenge. Knowing how to brainstorm for solution is a big help here with dowsing being of major assistance.

Journaling for Goal Setting and Problem Resolution

Writing forces you to clarify things. Write down one question at a time and then attempt to answer it. If you don’t know how to dowse, journal. In journaling, write as if you were speaking bluntly with a trusted friend without any self-censorship. Then go back and reread everything you have written, rewriting it ever more concisely until you can sum up the essence into a short paragraph or sentence and you feel comfortable that you have ‘nailed it’. If not, keep writing until you do. 

Challenge negative beliefs

Where you find negative beliefs or judgments, worry or fear, challenge them. Who says you can’t ____? Who says that it’ll never work? Instead, ask the question:

If it could work, how would it work?

Every goal has challenges, and every challenge is a call for you to rise to the occasion and grow. Going through the process leads to increased abilities, confidence, self-esteem and a real feeling of accomplishment.

fullsizeoutput_2cAnother way to resolve your malaise is to just focus on a question in meditation or self-hypnosis and let it roll around in your mind without needing an immediate answer. I do this through the Infinite Intelligence Process, which is a modality I have put together in a book entitled Accessing More – Tapping Into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process.  

Under the section called ‘Connect’, there is the opening phrase, “There’s a part of me that knows _____, and that part is _____ (guiding me now, bringing that information into conscious awareness, assisting me to do this in a way in which I am really pleased, etc.).” Here again, just allow yourself to drift into a meditative/self hypnotic state. Hold the question in mind without needing an answer. Over time, your subconscious mind will bring things to your attention, and synchronicities will occur.

Below are some sample questions to ask: 

  • Why am I feeling ____ regarding ____?  
  • What is underneath this feeling of _____?
  • If I could support myself anywhere, where would I want to live?
  • How could I support myself living in ____ (name of location)?
  • How could I support myself doing ____ while living in ____?
  • If I could support myself doing anything I like, what would be most satisfying to my soul? 
  • What does my spirit want to do ____ (now, short term, long term, as my life’s work)?
  • What kind of work can I do right now that would help me to eventually be able to do/become ____ in the future?
  • What kind of work is most in keeping with my soul desired life’s path?
  • What kind of work combines my main interests and abilities?

Writing Dowsing Charts and Checklists

Finding the right answers starts with asking the right questions. 

In my opinion, dowsing is the fastest way to gather information, determine the underlying dynamics, and solve problems of any sort. Start with writing down your question on the top of a page. Next, brainstorm possible answers in a list format or spread out in a fan or circle format. Include the word ‘other’. 

If you are working with a list, then turn the page to the side so the widest part of the page is on the horizontal line. Without looking at the words, but either with relaxed eyes staring into space, or focused at the bottom of the page, hold the pendulum in your hand and let it pull your hand in the direction of the appropriate line. Then look, and read what it says.

For example, if you were trying to figure out your emotions, you would list possible emotions, including the word other. Then you would ask:

  • What is the main reason I am feeling ____ about ____?
  • What is the next main reason I am feeling ____ about ____?

Continue, until there are no more emotions indicated. 

Next, because emotions come from beliefs, judgments or thoughts, write a list of possible ones, such as “people should (or shouldn’t) do ____”. Then dowse:

  • What is main thought or judgment underneath this feeling of _____?
  • What is next main thought or judgment underneath this feeling of _____?

Keep brainstorming and dowsing until you have a complete picture. Then work on addressing/healing any issues uncovered. Some of this work will entail straight forward problem solving, such as the below:

  • Who can help me with ____?
  • What are my next steps? (dowse out priorities)
  • Is anything preventing me from moving forward with this?
  • How motivated am I to do what it takes to accomplish this goal? 
  • Do I have any fears or limiting beliefs that ___ (are likely to, could) sabotage me in achieving this? If you get a ‘yes’, brainstorm what they might be and dowse out.
  • How can I make this required task easier, interesting or even fun?

Working below the level of conscious awareness

In some cases, you will not identify the cause of your malaise or failure. I then suggest  turning over the healing/resolution to what some call the ‘healer within’ or one’s spiritual dimension. I do this again with the Infinite Intelligence Process as listed earlier, “There’s a part of me that knows… and is doing so now.”

But there is another part to that process that is called “Process”. It installs a stress management program either with dowsing, meditation or hypnosis and then turns the healing over. For example, “From the perspective of my High Self, process and ____ (heal, clarify, release, resolve) ____ in a way in which I am really pleased.” If I am doing this with dowsing, I add “Take action now with the pendulum, and let me know when it is complete.” Both techniques are fully described in my book Accessing More–Tapping Into the Wisdom Within with the Infinite Intelligence Process.

In conclusion,

Overcoming malaise and obstacles in reaching your goals is made infinitely easier when you have a big enough ‘why’, when they are your goals, and you work with your inner resources every step of the way. I look forward to hearing about your own journey.

 

 

 

 

When You Lose Everything

The devastating fires in California that destroyed the entire town of Paradise, and destroyed thousands of homes, businesses and neighborhoods in multiple other locations throughout the state, brings up the question, what do you do when you lose everything–your home, your livelihood, your community, all of your possessions, everything you worked so hard over the years to create, your way of life, and, in some cases, even the lives of your loved ones?

Whether because of storms, natural disasters or war, illness, collapse of the economy or infrastructure, many throughout the world have faced this question. The shock and the grief can be so overwhelming that it can be immobilizing precisely when swift action is required. Such shock severely impedes the clarity of mind to know how to move forward now and the will to do so. And it can set up more problems including illness later on.

So what do you do?

The  immediate issues are clear:

  • find and remove yourself and loved ones from immediate danger
  • secure the basic necessities of food, water and shelter
  • gather your family, friends and neighbors around you to hold and support one another
  • find out about community resources
  • organize with others to deal with the immediate emergency
  • salvage what is left and assess what is gone
  • cleanup the debris

But then what?

An important component to moving beyond the devastation is your interpretation of the events. If you accept it as a force of nature that you could have done nothing to prevent, you will much more easily be able to move on from the loss. But if you blame yourself, that guilt or self-condemnation will drain your energy making responding effectively harder and calling for self-punishment. If you blame someone else, your resulting anger, rage and possible hatred, while mobilizing you to take action, will have a punishing effect upon your health and relationships. And if you wallow in grief, it also will consume you. And then, you may vacillate among all of the above in soup of emotions that is hard to process.

Accepting what cannot be changed helps

Acceptance does not mean that you like the situation. It does instead recognize that you cannot afford to squander your time, energy or momentum by hoping that it is all a bad dream and you will open your eyes and everything is back the way it was. All the tears and wishing it were not so will not change anything. You must conserve your energy and stay focused.

“Since this has happened, what do I want to do now?

What is my next step?”

You do not need to know the answer. You have only to hold the question in mind and then do something, anything. 

Something helpful is to affirm that you have inner resources and wisdom, creativity and problem solving ability beyond your conscious awareness. You have an internal guidance system, your personal GPS, that gives you hunches, and sets up synchronicities. I believe you have a spiritual guidance system as well. You can relieve stress by turning your predicament over to your internal and spiritual guidance with affirmative statements such as:

“There is a part of me that knows how to ____ and is doing so now.

There is a part of me that knows the next, right step to take and how to proceed. And that part is guiding me now with grace and ease.”

You can as did the character Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind shake your fist at heaven and make a vow that somehow you will never experience anything like this problem again. I prefer to yell at the beneficial heavenly forces:

“Turn this into a blessing!”

The glass may be half empty, but the glass is also half full!

You may think that you have lost everything. But if you are alive, that is not true. Assess what you have left – friends or family, your health or important parts of it, intelligence, skills, creativity, problem solving ability, network of who to call for help, and most important – your very life itself.

Maybe you can find a scrap of humor – what we call black or dark humor that which comes out of the depths of despair. For example, before this happened, did you want to de-clutter? Well, now you have done it! If you were thinking of moving, now you are going to! If you wanted to remodel, well now is the time!

Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb, phonograph, and many other things lost over half of the buildings in his West Orange, New Jersey laboratory after an explosion and resultant fire. Damages in 1914 reached seven million dollars, with only two million covered by insurance.

edisoninchem1

Edison vowed, “Although I am over 67 years old, I‘ll start all over again tomorrow.”   

When a reporter asked him how he felt, he responded that there was value in a fire in that it lets you start again. Not only that, but in watching the fire, Edison was inspired to create a new invention.

within two days, Edison had also finalized design of a portable searchlight whose three million candlepower beam would be visible for miles. In the midst of the catastrophe, Edison had noticed how the firefighters were hampered by the loss of power and light.  He puzzled over the problem and came up  with the battery driven light source idea and design. At age 67, Edison’s pace of work and inventions had slowed, but they could hardly be described as declining years. Within six months, Edison was demonstrating his latest invention in a nearby park,  attracting curious onlookers who wondered where the bright light was coming from!  The old adage that “every cloud has a silver lining” certainly applies here.”

Many times our lives, job or relationships run the full distance and we reach a place where no more growth can be made. It is time to change course, but we resist. Sometimes we are lazy, don’t want to do the work, or just stubbornly cling to what is safe known although even if we recognize that it is a rut. Then a cataclysmic event can come along to catapult us out of the rut and into unknown territory where we have no recourse but to reinvent ourselves and begin again. Hidden in the ruins is an opportunity to ask “where does my soul want to take me?”

In an earlier blog entitled “Blessings in Disguise”, I provided examples of how a major loss can turn out to be a blessing. They can set us on another path – one that is more fulfilling or allows or demands that we grow.

I am not making light of tragedy, or claiming that growth is the reason behind the loss or the justification for it. Nor am I advocating that you ‘buck up’, adopt a ‘stiff upper lip’ or deny your grief. What I am saying is that the only long-term constructive response to loss is to deliberately look for some good to come out of it, and to work to make it so both for yourself and others.

Focus on where you are going, on solution, to making your life or world better in some way. If you focus on what you had and lost, you will like Lot’s wife in the ancient Biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah, be consumed.

At every moment, you are creating your life story. What do you want your epitaph to read? 

“Here lies John Doe. He had everything and lost it all. Unable to move on, he became morose, angry and bitter, turning to drink for comfort. He died alone having alienated his remaining friends and family “.

Or ….

Every challenge calls us to rise up and dig down deep inside to find the strength and courage to take action having no guarantees of success, no assurance that the ground will rise up to greet us as we take those first steps.

Courage is facing the fear and doing what is needed anyway. It is being knocked down and standing up again. We are called to trust that small voice within, and follow its subtle lead. If others have suffered as well, we are also called to help them. Together we are stronger. As we work together, we are healed.

Find a reason

Heroes are born on the front lines where it is hard. Many never rise to the occasion, or they stumble and fall never to get back up. Overcoming devastating loss is a daily choice to action and attention to attitude. It is assisted by a faith that life can be better and that you can do something to make it so and that it is worth the effort.

It is the Mama Bear that finds her strength to rescue her cubs, or the fireman that rushes into danger to save others. Such actions are born from love, from a belief that life is worth saving, that life is worth living, and that despite the pain, cruelty and evil, that there is much good and beauty in the world. A vision of that better world or a big enough reason mobilizes the will to start again.

Find your reason to rise and then rise again, and gather others around you to support your resolve.

Copyright 11/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

 

 

 

 

 

No Easy Answers

Personally, I get frustrated when people pontificate their personal beliefs as to why they think something ‘bad’ happens, not just to themselves, but generalized across the board to everyone. It doesn’t matter that the ‘bad’ thing is an injury, an illness, the breakup of a relationship or a job, a school shooting, terrorist attack or war. The reasons that led up to that may be as multiple as there are people.

Even if you get positive results by correcting what you think may be the reason, it remains a theory until your correction completely resolves the problem. Otherwise, it may only be a part of the picture. But just because it appears true for you in that specific instance, and even if it is helpful for you does not mean that it is true or going to prove beneficial for everyone

I have noted that the reasons cited as responsible for any particular problem change over time and over cultures. To me this proves that such explanations are beliefs or theories rather than truth. Some are more popular than others during a particular decade with particular groups – national, regional, ethnic, economic, educational, religious, or political subcultures. Some come straight out of the teaching of a particular movement, guru, book or even a fad. Popularity can never be a criteria for truth. 

For example, in the past, it was actively taught that bad genes were responsible for many diseases. But thanks to the work of biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton, we now know that almost all given genes can be expressed in a number of different ways, and it is the environment (or the perception of it) that determines whether a specific gene with that disease as one of many possibilities will ever express itself in that way.

Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer, MD proved that specific unexpected, emotional shocks are responsible for specific diseases developing in particular parts of the body at the specific point in time when such shocks occurred. So instead of the person creating the illness, they didn’t have the emotional or other resources at the time to prevent it because they didn’t know how to handle something very upsetting happening outside of them, not of their own creation.

It’s very popular in the New Age Movement to think that you attract or create everything that happens to you. This is more helpful, perhaps, than thinking that you are victim, or that it is God’s will and that you just have to suffer instead of taking active measures to change things. But if you are creating your reality, what about the possibility that  everyone else is doing so at the same time, and that these various creations are crossing paths? If according to a theory that everyone is interconnected, what you do effects me and vice versa. 

Example:

Perhaps you were hit by a car as crossing the road. Perhaps the hospitalization gives you time to reconsider your life and it’s direction, your relationships, what’s important, etc. That can lead to important changes. Maybe you become more appreciative of others. Perhaps you have to learn patience, tolerance, and compassion for others who also suffer. You may as a result become a better or more pleasant person. It may force you to grow. But does that mean that God or your soul set it up, or that it was destined to happen as a part of your life script? Maybe yes, but maybe no.

Such introspection and positive changes might be your chosen response to the situation, not the reason for it.

You could have responded by becoming angry, hostile to caretakers, impatient, and, consequently, destroying your relationships. You could have become a worse, not better person.

Perhaps the accident teaches you to remember to look both ways before crossing the street, or to not burn the candle at both ends so that you can stay alert to potential danger. Maybe you learn that you need to focus on what you are doing, or to resolve that issue that is disturbing your sleep. Maybe you should not be trying to use the cell phone or text when entering the intersection.

On the other hand, maybe the driver needs also to keep his eyes on the road instead of trying to text as well. Maybe he needs to not burn the candle at both ends, or not drink before driving. Maybe he needs to resolve those issues that are distracting him from paying attention. Maybe he needs an anger management class so that he slows down and is less aggressive while driving.

Maybe there needs to be a traffic light at that busy intersection but the mayor has been slow to address a dangerous situation already known to him.

But does any of this mean that God or the universe set it up, or that you volunteered to get hit so that other people would learn?

You get my point.

That being said,

  • if there is a reason (and there may be) and you do not get it,
  • if there is something for you to learn (and there probably is) , and you do not,
  • if it was intended for you to grow, and you don’t,

my belief is that you will get another opportunity to do so later. In my experience, the universe comes in with a 2 X 4 next time.

Physicist Tom Campbell, author of My Big Toe has a theory, which while very interesting, cannot be reduced to the cause for all problems:

If a particular occurrence is determined to be an effective learning opportunity for someone or everyone, the probability of it happening is increased. The system is designed to automatically deliver timely custom-fit individual learning opportunities — the presentation of such opportunities to individuals or groups is part of the feedback one receives relative to the choices one makes. Because the point of the system is to overcome fear (about you – high entropy) and replace it with love (about others – low entropy), if you have fear, the feedback system will manifest that fear in PMR [physical reality] to force you to deal with it (learn) or suffer the consequences.”

Yes, I believe things happen for a reason or multiple ones, but such may be more complicated or different than what you think. The causation may be unknowable. Hence, I advise being open minded to other explanations until you fully resolve the issue. And still the answers might be elusive or incomplete. You may get results without understanding why. 

The reasons may be such a composite of the environment, the stress and or psychological milieu of multiple other people, the society and the times, so that they cannot be brought down to a single, simple explanation. It can be similar to a recipe – a little of this, a little of that, add in other people, stir it up, wait awhile. The buildup can take lifetimes. The causes can be multigenerational. 

In short, I don’t believe in easy answers.

Asking ‘why’, then has only marginal value.

Should you ask it? Of course, because you might well find answers. But also consider that you may be either wrong or incomplete in your analysis. The reasons why might be multiple. Leave room  in your mind to be open to additional possibilities that might help. 

After asking “why did this happen”, ask:

  1. What positive learning can I gain from this?
  2. What do I want to do to make things better moving forward?
  3. How can I turn this into a blessing for me or someone else?

 

Copyright 9/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com areincluded with the content.

Releasing Anger Example

Applying what you know (or think you do!)

This is a rewrite of an article originally written and posted July 9, 2017

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The bad news is that when you write a book on anything, especially mine entitled Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone, the time of sustained focus required to write a book may bring about an experience to apply what you know (or think you do).

(Don’t you just love the Law of Attraction!)

The good news is that you do know (or should know) something to harness that energy constructively and then move it out of your system more quickly than you did in the past.

Think of it as the universe giving you AN EXAM. 

Here is an OPPORTUNITY to prove:

  • Do you know what you are talking about?
  • Or have you just been spouting nice sounding platitudes, airy-fairy nothings, intellectual but useless, impractical, untested, unproven ideas and information? 
  • Do your techniques actually work and make a positive difference?
  • Is there more yet to learn?
  • How can you set things up to avoid similar problems in the future?

So on June 29, 2017, a tenant, as she was moving out of my house, left water running in the upstairs bathroom. Gallons of water poured down from the second floor to the first floor living room, and down to the basement below. Rugs including a large Oriental, a mattress, books, furniture and other things got wet. Almost half of the living room ceiling had to be replaced, and as repairs were later made, drywall dust was everywhere. Most everything  had to be boxed up and moved out of the living room along with the furniture.

Likewise, two basement rooms were disrupted in order to mop up the water and get things out of harm’s way. So not only was my living room unusable for more than a month but so was the dining room and hall, and those two basement rooms as well. 

Immediately taking a long view of the problem, I knew that regardless of how much time, energy, work and out-of pocket expense would be involved, regardless of the bad timing and other demands upon me both health wise and financially, the problem would be eventually fixed, and the house would be restored to it’s former beauty. In other words, the problem was temporary. That tenant is now fully gone from my house, and I have a new, wonderful person living here. I had workmen who would help me clean up the mess.

fullsizeoutput_2cI knew that I needed to harness the anger into constructive action. So I called the appropriate people to get the help and advice I needed, and start and supervise the work.

In the meantime, I did a lot of the Infinite Intelligence Process that I wrote about in my book Accessing More to both dump stress and access my internal guidance and wisdom within.

I did EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), dowsing for emotional healing, and meditation because I did not want the anger to poison me or cause my health to further deteriorate. Plus, I wanted any and all possible contributory factors resolved.

I also did not want to project my anger back to my former tenant as it would then be a curse on her head. Because I believe that we are all connected, the corollary is that what I send out comes back to me.

To help shift my attention, I focused on what I had to be grateful for. What was left? What was good? 

  • Well, certainly the damage could have been much worse.
    • Luckily, I was only away from the house for an hour. Many other precious items in my living room and basement were not ruined even if some got wet, but would have been otherwise.
  • Help was immediately available. 
    • Two farm workers were here that day who immediately came in and helped move furniture, mop up the water, take the worst of the ceiling down, and set up fans to dry everything out to lessen the chance of mold.
    • I quickly located and hired a drywall laborer to reinstall new sheetrock and to paint.
    • A friend put me in touch with a cleaning lady who came after the ceiling was repaired. She helped me take down, wash and rehang all curtains in the living and dining room, wash, dust and vacuum everything on the ground floor and upstairs hallway. The net result was that I ended up with a much cleaner house.
    • My insurance agent came quickly, and although I did not file a claim for various reasons, I got the information I needed. 

Throughout the process, I asked myself:

  • What could I learn and how could I grow from this experience?
  • How I could prevent something like this happening in the future?
  • What I might have done differently that might have prevented it?

In other words, I was actively looking to pull a blessing out of the experience. 

To get all my anger and everything off of my chest I wrote a letter to my tenant. But after writing and rewriting it, I read it to a close friend who is also a lawyer for her input. What upset me most was that my tenant took no responsibility for her actions. Instead she was just blaming me. I felt it necessary that she understand the ramifications of her negligence so she be more careful elsewhere. This stopped the imaginary conversations of what I wished I said to her from continuing to loop in my head.

I learned long ago that:

  1. writing letters that you do not send acts as if you did. It allows you to get everything off of your chest as if you really did say what you wanted to say to them.
  2. pause before sending anything in writing, and then only if you must. Less is better. The written word lasts forever, where spoken ones are quickly forgotten.
  3. Groaning over damage done and what cannot therefore be changed (what’s done is done) is a waste of precious energy. You need to conserve that energy in order to stay healthy and to address the problem.
  4. Complaining to people who cannot help you is an immediate, very short term vent, but counterproductive otherwise.

In fact, complaining or venting beyond the immediate time frame can just be a

  • ploy for sympathy as the ‘victim‘.
  • It can be revenge by getting other people to hate your adversary as well.
  • It can be a substitute for any real action–an excuse not to do anything.
  • It can be justification for your own mistakes and
  • avoidance of any responsibility for what happened, and
  • avoidance of the need to change personally.

Best to talk only to those that can offer some good information and advice while remaining detached emotionally from your issue. And then listen with an open mind.

Only clear eyed, detached processing of everything that happened and why without jumping to attaching blame is helpful. Then accept what can not be changed, create an action plan, and get to work immediately. As you see progress, the quicker your rage will die down.

Personally, I would have loved to had someone just hold me. But since I don’t have a partner, I grabbed a cat and snuggled with him. I sat with my piggies. I hugged my dogs. I looked up at the sky. I picked up and talked to the toads. I noticed some of the abundant sweetness that is on my farm. I remembered that I am loved, that I have meaning and purpose in this world, that this is a beautiful place, and I am choosing to be alive and present. 

At other times and places, I may have made love, watched funny movies, gone dancing or done something nice with friends just to discharge energy and regroup. But what is important is that you actively do something.

There is always something still left to enjoy and appreciate—even a memory to lift your spirit. 

  • Did I pass? I think so.
  • Will I do things differently in future? Absolutely!
  • Will I forget the lessons? No.
  • Can what I learned help someone else? Yes, I know so.

Copyright 8/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

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