Blessings in Disguise

All of us can probably think of things like romances, houses, jobs, relocations and more that seemed great at the beginning, but then proved not so great. Maybe even after the luster wore off, we may have hung in there because of our investment in time and money, or not wanting to ‘rock the boat’,  security, or because ‘the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.’ Perhaps we tried to hang on because of embarrassment, or not wanting to admit that we were wrong or made a mistake.

We probably also know of those sudden change of fortune — breakups, job or business losses, disappointments or rejections — that seemed to be so horrible at the time, but which led eventually to something much better, and to much needed growth. 

We never know how things will turn out

There is an oft told Sufi story about a farmer whose son found a wild horse. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed, “that your son has this new horse!” “Maybe yes, and maybe no,” said the farmer.

Then the son as he was ‘breaking’ this horse, was thrown off it’s back and broke his leg. “How awful,” said the neighbors, “that your son broke his leg.” Again, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, and maybe no.” 

Then war came to the region and all the young men in the village were rounded up to go into battle. “How wonderful,” said the neighbors, “that your son doesn’t have to go to war.” And once again, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, and maybe no.” 

A true story

My friend, Nelson was told by his boss on a Friday to take his department of 40 people out to lunch and deliver the bad news that because of the Japanese buyout of their firm, that the entire department was being let go.

So after lunch, the security guards walked everyone back to their desk to pick up a 2-week severance check and their personal items before being escorted out the door.

On Friday, they were all in shock and thinking it was something terrible that just happened to them. But on Tuesday, all those not dismissed were dead because they worked on the very floor of one of the Twin Towers in Lower Manhattan where one of the planes came through. The date was 9/11.

Sometimes what looks like the worst thing that could have happened to you turns out to be the best thing that could have happened!

 

Perhaps we can acknowledge that the job, business, home or relationship we lost had it’s downsides. There may have been things about it that we didn’t like, that we barely tolerated, that were highly stressful, that hemmed us in, that limited our ability to grow or explore as we grew. We may recognize that what we had and once wanted was no longer so, and that we were moving, or about to move, or needed to move in a different direction. 

Sometimes, what we lost might have been okay or even good while it lasted, but sudden events caused us to move on to something that was even better and more fulfilling. It might have opened up many new experiences, and to explore other parts of ourselves in wonderful ways that otherwise would not have happened.

Another true story

A couple living in California lost their home and all of their possessions in one of the wild fires that came through their canyon. Totally stressed and not knowing what to do next, they left their jobs, and decided to take six months off while they considered their options.

Deciding to buy and move into a small RV, they started wandering the many national parks. They enjoyed it so much that they started writing a blog, and then went on the speaking circuit to motorhome enthusiasts discussing various aspects of living in a motorhome full time, nice places to visits, and how to make money on the road. It became their new livelihood. They were very happy in their new life and considered the house fire a blessing.

I followed them for a few years while I was doing a small bit of the same after a divorce. 

And another true story

A friend of mine in Ohio was woken up by her cat who would just not let her spend a minute more in bed. As she came into consciousness, she smelled smoke. And indeed, the house was on fire. Both she and the cat got out safely. Luckily, the kids had already gone to school and her husband was at work.

The back of this 19th century farm house burnt down. But the rest of the entire house and all the possessions were either soaked and destroyed from water from the firemen’s hoses, or saturated with smoke. All the clothes, rugs, upholstery, and many other belongings had to be trashed. 

The family had a trailer brought onto the property as they too decided what to do next. They knew that they wanted to stay there and rebuild as they had friends and roots. But how to rebuild? 

My friend gave everyone a sheet of paper. She, her husband and each of the three kids all wrote out their wish list for a ‘dream house’, ideal bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, etc.

Knowing their budget from the insurance, they devised plans on the most important wish list items. The kids got their own bedrooms, and a bath with double sinks and a shower. My friend got a large working area of the kitchen with a large center island open to a dining area of the kitchen big enough for company. She wanted and got a sewing room. Her husband got a comfortable t.v. room and a recliner. 

In short, they end up with a wonderful, beautiful, totally renovated and updated ‘new’ house, along with new clothes, new furniture that they couldn’t have afforded ANY OTHER WAY!

My story

More than two decades ago, I was praying to fulfill my purpose or mission in life. Immediately, my marriage fell apart. One day my husband said that he didn’t know if he wanted to be married anymore. I was devastated. Yes, I knew we had problems, but I am one that hangs in there always hoping that things will improve even though I was also not satisfied in the relationship. 

Soon after I had a dream about a dilapidated but once beautiful house. It needed tons of work – work that was daunting. Everything had to be renovated even though the house ‘bones’ were good. I was so discouraged and not sure that I was really wanted to go through what it would require to be beautiful again. It could be better for sure, but was it going to be worth it?  Would enough get done so that I would be happy with it?

Then I found out that he was being unfaithful. That was the final straw and was the one thing that would allow me permission to file for divorce. Indeed, it pushed me to do so and move on with my life. And it turned out to be the best possible thing that could have happened. Today, I am grateful for his bad behavior, because it freed me from a toxic situation full of constant lies and distrust. 

Conclusion

While like the Sufi farmer, we may not know where life is leading us when hit with what appears to be a sudden loss of good fortune. But we can make a decision that we are going to learn from and grow through it. And that one way or another, we are going to make these sudden changes work for us – even bless us and others.

As I have written about in previous blog articles, you might ask:

  • If it could work, how might it work?
  • If something good can come out of this, what might that be?
  • How can I turn this into an opportunity? 
  • How can I grow through this experience?
  • What can I learn from this that not only helps me, but helps someone else?

In short:

  • How can I turn this into a blessing?

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FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: http://www.roxannelouise.com or call 434-263-4337

Copyright 6/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

 

 

 

What if illness was a choice?

Santa Cruz Vending 7:16 copy

TO BE OR NOT TO BE — SICK 

Putting forth the premise that illness is a choice may sound harsh. But think about it this way:

Long before you got sick, you were entrenched for years in hundreds of little habits–habits of eating, exercise, work, lifestyle, smoking, drinking, and habits of how you handled stress, conflict and negative emotions. Even your thinking has been largely a matter of habit. And because thoughts determine emotions, which in turn create different biological chemicals in your body, emotional states and body chemistry are the results of thoughts, beliefs, judgements, and habits of mind. And that involves choice – both conscious and unconscious.

Regardless of what habits or beliefs were installed in childhood by family or culture, upon reaching adulthood, it becomes a choice to continue those habits and to hold those beliefs without question, or not. It comes down to whether they work for you or whether negative consequences appear that call for change.

Choices become habits, and habits create destiny

All habits come about through little decisions made again and again, perhaps multiple times daily until they become an automatic program that starts to run your life. Allowing thoughts to continually be held in mind is a choice, and this choice then becomes part of your attitude and personality [see work of biologist Bruce Lipton, Ph.D.]. 

Further, your beliefs, judgments, and interpretations of events and experiences collect evidence to prove you right. Left unchallenged (a choice), they will either attract more similar experiences or you will tend to feel and react as if they were similar even though they were not.

These mental habits will guarantee what emotional and physical consequences you experience both immediate and long term including illness. For example, if you interpret a situation as ‘this is scary’, you will activate the stress hormone of cortisol, which shuts off the biological functions of growth, digestion, repair and immune functioning. Whereas if you interpret the very same event as ‘this is exciting’, ‘this is an opportunity’, or ‘what a fun challenge’, your internal chemistry will be very different.

Routinely interpreting what is happening around you as threatening will over time damage your health.  However, you can choose to interpret or judge a situation differently, to react differently. Following a decision to do so, and then practicing over time to retrain your mind, might make the difference you need to heal.

Consequences

So there are consequences to all of your choices and the habits they become. And these consequences include your health, mental and emotional well-being, or lack of same.

However, at the time that the choices were made, you may have been unaware of those consequences or you lived in denial. After all, when you picked up your first cigarette were you really paying attention to the health risks? Did you think that you were invincible? Did you think you could outrun the bullet, and that the health warnings didn’t apply to you? Did you just figure on having just a few, and quitting tomorrow? Were you bargaining, “please, God, just let me have this one ___ (cigarette/drink/ice cream sunday) and then I’ll stop and be good!

Now, years later you may become aware that it has come time to pay the piper. What do you do when you don’t like the negative consequences of your choices? How do you unravel bad habits, bad decisions, limiting beliefs or judgments for which you are now paying dearly?

Making different choices

Healing requires change, and change can be scary.

If a health problem is a result of long standing habits and patterns, healing will always require changing those habits and patterns. The necessary changes may be all pervasive, even drastic, and can be just as scary as the illness itself.  Carolyn Myss in Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, says that

“many of us are almost as afraid of healing as we are of illness.”2 

Even though a person may be aware of the risks, and their doctor may have recommended dietary, habit or lifestyle changes over the years,

only when there is a clear cause and effect relationship of certain habits and choices with the negative consequences do most people begin to make even the smallest, yet alone the big changes, that may be necessary.

This follows the Law of Inertia, a body at rest tends to stay at rest, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion.

It takes more energy to shift direction than to continue to do what you have always done.

And it will take dedication on a daily basis to overcome the years of negative programming. However, each day you choose to practice new habits, it will gain in power.

How committed are you to heal?

Are you willing to do whatever it takes? And if you aren’t, can we then say that you are choosing to remain sick? Myss asks the following:

“If healing required moving to another part of the country, changing your attitudes toward others and yourself, changing all your physical habits, such as diet and exercise, being alone for a long period of time, or going on a retreat to confront your shadow, experiencing illness as a way of healing mentally, emotionally and spiritually, or losing everything familiar to you — home, spouse, job–would you do it?” 3

John Harrison, MD, in Love Your Disease–It’s Keeping You Healthy says that

Anybody prepared to make fearless decisions in their best interests will avoid all major illness and most minor ones as well.”

Illness provides benefits called secondary gains

There may be positive payoffs to being sick. For example, illness may get you out of a job, activity, situation, relationship, or a responsibility that you hate. It can provide an excuse not to do, or not to go where you don’t want, or to do something that you do, for example, to stay home and watch television. It may provide financial awards, temporary or ongoing income, medical benefits, and time off from work. [See article “Secondary Gain – a Gain from Pain”

Illness may get people off your back. It may provide an excuse, and special considerations or privileges such as handicapped parking. It may allow you to avoid responsibility for yourself or others. It may cast the die–letting the disease or condition make a decision for you when you are too indecisive or weak to do it on your own.

Illness may pull a family or relationship together, or provide a way to check on the feelings of others. It may let others know that you need them, providing them with an important role, and helping them to feel good about themself for helping you. Illness can be a way to get people to come to visit, and to obtain desired attention, emotional assistance, concern, sympathy, demonstrations of caring or love. It can be a way to get people to do things for you, even getting waited on hand and foot as in hospitalization. Finally, a health problem can be a form of self-punishment, a way to atone or pay yourself back for guilty thoughts, feelings, behavior.

Because of all of the above, a person on an unconscious level may choose to become ill, or to do things that make him liable to get sick. Once sick he may obstruct healing, or do all the wrong things such as a diabetic eating sweets, to sabotage getting better. 

As Myss says, 

Illness can…become a powerful way to get attention you might not otherwise receive”, and “as a form of leverage, illness can seem almost attractive.”

Benefits to illness can be secondary or primary to the condition. They can be conscious or unconscious (below the level of awareness). As in which came first, the chicken or the egg, did the person get sick in order to get his needs met? Or did he get sick as a result of bad habits or some other reason, and then notice that there were some payoffs in being ill?

Harrison says that

The person is needy, rather than sick….People get ill to get what they want… People do not get what they want…so they become ill.”5

Basic needs,  such as attention, solitude, caring, must be met one way or the other. And if illness is providing those needs, the person must feel secure in meeting those same needs, just as easily as before, but now in a healthy, constructive way. Otherwise, he will resist getting well, or he will get sick again to get his needs met.

A Wake Up Call + Hope

To break the negative cycle, both the pain of the illness needs to be great enough for the person to be motivated to change, and the person must have hope that making changes will make a positive difference in his health.

Without hope or positive expectancy, why bother to even try?

Harrison further states that

“Disease is both self-created and self-cured…. Illness is the physical and psychological result of unresolved needs, not a malfunction of a machine caused by unknown or external factors….We give ourselves illnesses in order to ‘take care of ourselves’ psychologically.”

Harrison and Stephen Parkhill, author of Answer Cancer, refer to an unspoken contract between doctor and patient that says the following. The doctor, in exchange for money, will remove unpleasant symptoms for the patient without upsetting the patient’s chosen lifestyle or habits, attitudes or feelings, judgments or beliefs. The doctor will participate in the illusion that the patient is a victim and not responsible for either the disease or its removal and return to health. The doctor will take over responsibility for the patient’s health and all decisions relevant to his health care.

Harrison puts it this way:

“I have consulted you to have my need recognized, my suffering validated, my pain removed and my disease retained. In return, I will support you financially and give you status commensurate with the powers I ask you to exercise.”6 

As Harrison further states,

“It’s this need to be taken care of by people more powerful than ourselves that leads us into taking some decisions that are damaging to us in the long term.”

This agreement between doctor and patient may eradicate symptoms, but miss the cure. It has all the dysfunctional psychodynamics of the Victim-Rescuer-Persecutor Triangle7 –the patient being the Victim, the doctor/therapist being the Rescuer, and the disease/condition being the Persecutor. Roles can switch if compliance in the game is unsatisfactory.

Patients need to get out of the game and take back responsibility for their illness, and take back their power to heal. But in doing so, they need to understand the role that not just their physical habits and lifestyle play, but the all important component of their thoughts and emotions.

What emotional states cause illness?

Parkhill believes that ailments in general come from an unconscious need for self-punishment, self-mutilation, or limitation. He also feels that guilt, blame, criticism, fears, such as the fear of abandonment, or the fear of not surviving because essential needs are not well met, play a role.

To his list, I would add that many other emotions and internal conflicts could be involved depending upon the illness and where it is located. German New Medicine outlines a number of emotional shocks that if are not quickly resolved lead to very specific diseases. [See article “German New Medicine & the Mind-Body Connection”]

Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life, thinks that thoughts of being not good enough, self-hatred or criticism, resentment and guilt are the most destructive to our health. Conversely, she feels that forgiveness, self-acceptance, love and releasing the past are key for healing.

Unraveling Bad Choices and Making Better Ones

Postulating that illness is a choice, even if it is an unconscious one, implies that there is a different choice or choices that could potentially be made that would leading to a different outcome–one of health, vitality, and overall well-being. Once clear about the negative consequences of all of your habits and patterns, you may be motivated to change. This will include making changes in your thinking, beliefs, attitude, how you deal with stress, as well as diet, lifestyle. 

Make a commitment to take positive action. Start with making the most obvious and the most do-able changes, and the changes most likely to make the most difference.

There are many ways of tackling the various mental, emotional and habit components.

  • Self-hypnosis really helps to focus on priorities, increase motivation to do what you need to do, change negative thinking, and to release stress. 

The modalities or techniques listed below are also invaluable in releasing stress, self-sabotage, and healing issues. Dowsing, Emotion Code, Hypnosis, and NLP have the additional benefit of being able to locate the source/s of the problem.

  • Thought Stopping and Switching 
  • Emotional Freedom Technique
  • Emotion Code
  • Tapas Acupressure Technique 
  • Hypnosis
  • Neural Linguistic Programming 
  • Pendulum Dowsing 
  • my own Infinite Intelligence Process8 [see article “Accessing More”] 
  • Through hypnosis or Time Line Therapy you can go back in time to a choice point and make a healthier, more constructive choice that leads to health. I like the unconscious healing modality that I call “Change Decision”9 that taught to me by A.L Ward, but those of other hypnosis mentors such as E. Arthur Winkler or Walter Sichort and his protege James Ramey, who did something similar.
  • Next, you can imagine traveling into the future to a time when the problem has been satisfactorily resolved, find out how that was done, and bring that solution back to the present moment along with the resources to do it. This is called Future Pace, or Crystal Ball, or Magic Wand — all hypnosis and NLP techniques.
  • Or again with hypnosis, you can imagine going into a parallel universe in order to change direction to an alternate reality more of your liking. Go the station platform and change trains.

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FOOTNOTES:

1. First published in 5/2007

2. Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, page i x.

3. Ibid, page 138-139.

4. John Harrison, M.D., Love Your Disease, page 51

5. page 46-7

6. Love Your Disease, page 59

7. The Victim-Rescuer-Persecutor Triangle is typically seen with alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers, and many of the chronically ill. The Victim uses his problem to manipulate and control others into taking over responsibility for him, bailing him out of problems, and meeting his emotional and perhaps financial needs. The Rescuer initially feels good to be of help, but later comes to feel as if he, himself, is being victimized by the very person he is trying to help, who has takes on the role of Persecutor. Rescuers are caught in this trap because they do not feel good about themselves unless they are helping those they consider more unfortunate than they. Most people in the helping profession as well as nurses and others in the healing arts start out as Rescuers. Hence, they are vulnerable to being used and abused by others. Awareness helps, but the biggest cure for this is high self-esteem and healthy boundaries.

8. ACCESSING MORE – Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process by Roxanne Louise

9. Change Decision is included in the Visualization Chapter of my book, Your Unlimited Potential, a complete self-hypnosis course and introduction to professional hypnotherapy.

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“Illness as Choice ?” Copyright 7/2015 was then expanded and rewritten 6/2018 as “What if illness were a choice?” by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: http://www.roxannelouise.com or call 434-263-4337

 

 

When someone says there is ‘no cure’

The Medical Paradigm

Anyone graduating from the very long and arduous training in medical school has been deeply indoctrinated into a very distinctive belief system, attitudes and approach to ill health, and then from that model on how to diagnose and treat illness in very prescribed ways. Historically, allopathic medicine seems to focus more on physical symptoms and on what can be seen under a microscope or on an X-ray, for example, a pathogen or broken bone, rather than on the multitude of non-physical factors that are also involved or even the precipitating or main cause. 

As in the children’s Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme, physicians are under pressure to put their patients back together again after a problem has occurred rather than increasing their vitality and reducing their vulnerability from getting sick in the first place. In that focus on disease instead of wellness, it is possible that the medical model is missing many more possible cures as well as a fuller understanding of the underlying dynamics.

Allopathic treatment may include suppression of physical symptoms without actually finding and correcting underlying issues. And while alleviation of symptoms can make a huge difference in someone’s quality of life, removal or healing of the root cause (or group of causative agents as there can be multiple things involved) means examining and addressing all imbalances in a person’s life (body, mind and spirit).

Finding and resolving the underlying problem/s means considering that the many other factors that cause ill health – stress and emotional things like loneliness, grief, anger, loss of support or connection, worry, lack of meaning and purpose – are likewise vitally important. Then there are habits, lifestyle, relationships, nutrition, exercise, toxicity, biological conflicts, lack of spiritual connection, and manmade or naturally occurring pathological energies such as EMF, radiation, and even underground crossing water veins, to be considered. Even if pathogens are involved, such pathogens may have been dormant until these other factors made it possible for them to take hold in a person’s body. Such factors may unless dealt with, prevent a patient from healing now despite otherwise good medical care.

Allopathic medicine does not take into consideration other health care approaches that have been successfully practiced in the world for centuries such as herbal medicine, shamanism, Ayurveda, or Chinese Medicine, to mention a few. The problem is not that physicians have a very structured and specific approach to treating disease, but that they vigorously claim through various legal channels to be the only profession with the right and the expertise to do so.

All of these other highly relevant factors mentioned are outside the realm of medical knowledge and treatment.  Therefore, for anyone to be correct in stating that there is ‘no cure’, they would have to be an expert or at least highly knowledgable in all these other factors and healing modalities – an impossible task. The only true and accurate statement can be “allopathic medicine does not have a cure for this condition at this time.” 

For every illness, for every health condition that was said to be impossible to cure,  correct or heal, even from death itself, there is someone has proven such claim wrong. Whether you listen to Dr. Eben Alexander, Anita Moorjani, both of whom were clinically dead and came back to life and healed, or Dr. Joe Dispenza who had an ‘impossible to heal’ spinal fracture from being run over and yet went back to his chiropractic practice in just two weeks, these true stories make you realize there is always hope. If there is someone who healed when told it was impossible, why not you? What did they do, or not do, that made their healing possible? Find out and duplicate this for yourself.

Why it is vital to not destroy someone’s hope

Forgive me if I rant a moment. As a hypnotherapist, I am trained in the power of suggestion, and the power of words to help or hurt, even kill. By eliminating hope, a person may give up and not do anything to help themselves even with basic self-care. Worse yet, if they believe that they will never ____, they may put themselves out of their own misery through suicide or self-destructive behaviors such as heavy drinking or drugs that are the slower versions of the same thing.

If a patient believes the doctor is the authority on his health condition, he is preconditioned to internalize into his unconscious mind whatever that doctor says about him and how he says it. Such patient will also be alert to picking unverbalized cues (body signals, tone of voice) of what that doctor believes about his chances.

This is very important as the unconscious mind also controls all body functions including growth and repair, digestion, detoxification, hormonal balance, and the immune response. The raw emotions of receiving a negative diagnosis and prognosis will have a very real impact upon the patient making his situation better or worse depending upon how they are delivered.  

Further, when this trusted doctor then tells his patient that there is ‘no cure’, or that there is ‘nothing that can be done‘, such patient will not seek answers elsewhere even if answers and help already exist through other treatment modalities. He will be disempowered from possibly discovering the answers for himself  or the winning combination of things that might possibly have made his healing possible.

One of my friends and mentors was the late Michael Ellner. Michael was a hypnotherapist, and for many years, the Director of Heal Education AIDS Liaison in New York City. Michael gave his clientele hope. Michael through therapeutic intervention would take away the power that negative authority figures (such as their physicians) had in the client’s mind. Instead, Michael gave the client logical reasons why he should believe instead that he could do something to help himself. Only by giving hope did his clients gain the determination to then work with nutrition, get off recreational drugs, stop risky sexual behaviors, get honest about their sexual orientation with their families, work on their emotional issues, start to meditate or develop a spiritual practice, etc. As a result, Michael witnessed many men who reversed their AIDS, and became healthier than at any time in their life, and living decades longer. When they healed their life, their bodies tended to follow. Louise Hay has said the same thing.

So what does it really mean when the doctor says that there is ‘no cure’ ?

The truth is that whenever a doctor says that there is no cure it should be translated more accurately for the layman as:

  • “as far as I know” . (Therefore, you have to seek out other sources. He is not the person to help you.)
  • “in my opinion” (Hence, we say to seek a second or third medical ‘opinion’.)
  • “according to the allopathic model and only using the allopathic methods” (Allopathic methods by themselves are not successful with this condition. Therefore, you must  seek other treatments or put together your own healing prescription.)
  • “surgery and prescription drugs alone cannot cure it”. (But maybe nutrition or herbs or homeopathy or ____ can do so, or do so in combination with allopathic methods.)
  • “yet!” (Discoveries are being made all the time. In fact, many discoveries such as those for various forms of cancer have been discovered, but have been suppressed in this country although they may be used successfully elsewhere.)
  • “I don’t want to admit that I can’t fix it, so I am just going to say it can’t be fixed”

Physicians are not immune from their egos or their professional bias. Such bias is influenced by the pharmaceutical industry that largely funds medical schools, medical research, and provides direct financial kickbacks for chemotherapy and an aggressive vaccination schedule. It also provides indirect funding through perks such as free trips to conferences in plush resort settings. The pharmaceutical reps form a relationship with the physicians (and may visit them more often than their own grandchildren). The pharmaceutical industry is also the largest advertiser for media. And no one wants to kill the golden goose.

Professional arrogance can be just another form of modern tribal thinking – my tribe is better than your tribe (maybe because I sweated longer, harder and paid more to be admitted into the inner sanctum). My medical god is better and more powerful than your herbal or nutritional god. Personal beliefs, ego, or just a heavy workload can prevent a physician taking a serious look into the alternate opinions, viewpoints and approaches even within the medical profession. 

The power of belief and emotion to heal or to kill

Witch doctors have historically harnessed the power of belief and emotion to heal (the placebo response) and to kill (the nocebo response). The power to heal through suggestion is something that should be harnessed, not ridiculed. And the power to hurt or kill should be fully understood and avoided at all costs. Dr. Deepak Chopra has said “more people die of diagnosis than the disease.” To destroy a person’s hope and even worse to discourage a patient from investigating other modalities in an attempt to heal, is, in my opinion, unconsciousible.

[For more information on the placebo or nocebo response, see “Understanding Placebo’s Opposite – The Nocebo Effect”.]

How ‘Scope of Practice’ enters into the equation

Allopathic physicians through their distinctive attitudes, skills, and knowledge address physical illness within a very defined range that collectively is called their “scope of practice”. Each profession possessing a license to practice that profession has vigorously protected their ‘turf’ against the encroachment of other professions that could potentially compete with them. While no doubt, the medical establishment may have passionate opinions of protecting the lives of patients from snake oil salesmen, some of this is simply guarding their monopoly from intrusion in the marketplace. 

In the United States,  a group called The Scope of Practice Partnership (SOPP) exists as “a collaborative effort of the American Medical Association, American Osteopathic Association (AOA), national medical societies, state medical associations and state osteopathic medical associations that focuses the resources of organized medicine to oppose scope of practice expansions by non-physician providers that threaten the health and safety of patients….This goal is accomplished through a combination of legislative activities; regulatory activities; judicial advocacy; and programs of information, research and education. The AMA provides staff to manage the operation of the SOPP.”

For years, physicians were able to successfully prevent chiropractors, naturopaths, psychologists, and hypnotherapists from practicing. Each separate profession had had to fight for their right to exist. As I was very active in fighting the New Jersey Psychological Board of Examiners from trying to put hypnotherapists out of business in the 1990’s, I know a lot of  how this works. As said, this is strictly a turf war – professional arrogance linked to threat of losing a lucrative revenue stream.

Upcoming Workshops

At the American Society of Dowsers Conference taking place at the State University of New York (SUNY) in New Paltz, New York, I will be giving a full day Workshop “Locating & Clearing the Mental/Emotional Drivers of Disease” on Wednesday, 6/13. See www.dowsers.org.

At the West Coast Dowsers Conference, University of California, Santa Cruz, I will be giving a full day Workshop “Therapeutic Dowsing & Telepathic Healing – Dowsing for Mental & Emotional Issues” on Tuesday, 7/3.  See http://www.dowserswestcoast.org

Lastly, at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention in Marlborough, Massachusetts, August 10-12, I will be giving a shorter Workshop: “Hypnosis For Mind-Body Healing—Finding And Eliminating The Mental And Emotional Drivers Of Disease”, and a Seminar “Pendulum Dowsing For Hypnotists—Powerful Investigative, Healing, and Business Tool!” ​See https://ngh.net

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

Upset as Opportunity

Fuming over what you don’t like and the people you hold responsible for it may let off steam, but it burns up your precious life force energy and it doesn’t change anything! 

I suggest that you as quickly as possible accept that what happened, and is now history. Fuming doesn’t change history. The question is

What do you want to do about it?

How can you use it constructively?

Can you turn it into a blessing?

As I have said in previous posts, deliberately choose to look for a way to turn every experience especially the upsetting ones into a blessing. This will happen if you grow, if you learn something positive, if you take constructive action on things that previously you neglected or let slide, and if you finally turn your attention to dealing with wounds and issues long past but never resolved.

When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, miracles of positive change can occur!

You can train yourself to use upset as a powerful

  • catalyst for healing yourself and
  • as motivation to create something better.

Here’s how.

Write the answers to the questions below. If you have trouble identifying them, brainstorm possible answers on paper and dowse them out. If you don’t know how to dowse, brainstorm anyway. Then close your eyes and ask yourself the question again. Or just write and write until you get to the core issue.

  • What’s happening that I don’t want?
  • What’s not happening that I do want?
  • What’s the key issue here?
  • What are my thoughts about what’s happening?
  • What are my emotions about it?
  • What do I want to happen instead?
  • What’s the essence of what I want?
  • What’s stopping me from getting it?
  • Is there another way to get the essence of what I want?
  • When were other times that something similar happened?
  • When was the earliest time that something similar to this happened?

Work your way through all of these questions, addressing them as you go.

Then ask some further questions:

  • How did I contribute in any way to what happened?
  • What positive steps can I make or what changes need to occur so this doesn’t happen again?
  • How can I improve my ____ (communication, follow-through, systems, etc.) so that my _____ (business, relationships) are actually better as a result of what happened?

Doing all of the above will move you forward.

Heal yourself rather than trying to change someone else!

Recently I spoke with someone who was upset because he had been unable to get someone else to change. He had tried talking to the person, but wasn’t getting anywhere. I suggested that he first identify and then address his own emotions and his thoughts around it before speaking to the person again so that they would not cause the person to tune him out.

In other words, if you are emotionally upset, you will make the other person defensive, and less likely to even consider changing their behavior and do what you want. You need to find a way to speak to the person from a neutral place, or better yet, from a place of common ground.

One way of starting that process is to detach your worth, your self-esteem from what someone else is doing. Each person acts out of who they are, not from who you are. And incidentally, people never change for you. They may moderate their behavior somewhat if the negative consequences are great enough. But they never change for you.

Eliminate the ‘shoulds and shouldn’ts’

Another initial step to reduce your upset is to eliminate the idea that people should or shouldn’t be any certain way or do anything according to your standards. Those self-righteous judgment calls are responsible for a great deal of stress. However, once you clarify the behavior you don’t want and the behavior you do want, you will be able to clearly communicate it to the other person.

As he labeled the other person as controlling, I suggested that he could turn this situation into a blessing if he could identify and then heal all similar experiences starting with the first time he was upset because of controlling behavior. In other words, this annoying current event might be viewed as positive by alerting him to a host of unresolved similar events festering in his unconscious not only causing him stress but setting up a negative repeating pattern.

My own experience

Years ago I was being constantly hit with the energy of jealousy. I could always tell when the conference brochures hit the mailboxes, because I could feel the red hot feverish flames blasting in my face, and it made me jittery and hard to focus. Once in giving a presentation of how and why to integrate Reiki with hypnosis, I could feel the arrows coming from 3 distinct locations in the room. So I asked the Reiki Masters present to stand, and guess what? They were sitting in the very same locations. These weren’t bad people, they just must have thought that they could or should have been the ones speaking on the topic I had chosen.

While I had previously worked diligently to heal my distress because of other people’s jealousy of me, it had not stopped the negative pattern until I dealt with the root cause.  As I thought about the first time this issue had occurred , I turned my attention to the lifelong problematic relationship with my sister that started in early childhood. Only after I healed that, did the negative pattern stop. I have not been affected since.

Whether any one is or has been jealous of me since, I don’t feel it anymore. I am not impacted. My energy is no longer drained.

Moral of the story:

Heal the root cause to stop the pattern.

Make positive changes going forward.

And if you do that, it will have been a blessing.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

I AM…so happy and grateful…

“In the beginning was the word.” Genesis

Hypnotists understand the power that words have to powerfully impact upon your life. The most important words being “I am” followed by anything else. “I AM” has incredible creative power.

Hypnosis teaches that the subconscious mind, which controls all habits and automatic behaviors, is constantly listening to everything that you say. Through repetition, words program the subconscious, and that subconscious programming leads you to be inclined to do or not do, to notice or not, to just happen to be in the right time and place for whatever you have programmed into your inner mind to occur for better or worse.

Yet how often instead of deliberately helping yourself, you identify with the negative by saying anyway “I am ___ (sick, broke, tired, burnt out, overwhelmed)” etc. And even though I know better, I catch myself doing it too.

I have found a helpful antidote through the phrase 

“I AM so happy and grateful that ___.”

 

The moment I say that I am happy and grateful I notice that it truly starts to shift my mood. Then I follow with more statements, quickly listing a bunch of things that do, in fact, make me happy, or for which I am genuinely grateful. I start with statements that I honestly believe. In starting with the easy things, it sets up the right frame of mind for me then to shift gears on those areas that need help or in which I need to manifest a positive outcome. It is important, however, to state these other things in a way in which you can believe them. Saying something you think is impossible will only backfire. 

First, I start with anything is easily true for me:

“I AM so happy and grateful that it’s a beautiful day. 

“I AM so happy and grateful that the sun is shining.

“I AM so happy and grateful that the flowers are starting to bloom.

“I AM so happy and grateful to live in this beautiful place.

Then I make statements to shift my attitude in a positive way on a challenge I need to resolve:

“I AM so happy and grateful that I have reliable, capable help to ____ at a price I can easily afford.

“I AM so happy and grateful that I quickly attract the very best tenants into my property at ____ Street. 

Finally, I visualize it as done and soak up the good feelings of that happy completion.

Personal Story

Years ago I was sponsored to teach throughout India. On a day off I went to a botanical park. The cab driver dropped me off at the entrance and said that I should walk straight through the park and he would meet me at the exit. Fine.

So I walked through this delightful but huge gated park. When I had enough, I went out the exit upon which the gate locked behind me. However, there was no cab driver. So I had to walk all around the outside of the park back to the entrance and try again.

This time I saw a fork in the path, and took it. Sure enough, there was another exit, and out I went. Again the gate locked behind me, and, you guessed it – no cab driver. So for the second time I walked around the fence back to the entrance, again looking for yet another exit. Found it, and hooray – lots of cabs. Unfortunately, not mine. The cabbies said that my driver got tired of waiting and left. So, once more I walked around the perimeter back to the entrance whereupon they kind attendant who luckily spoke English called my hotel and sponsor.

While I was angry, tired, hot and thirsty, depressed, and just fed up, I gritted my teeth and focused on anything for which I could be grateful. “I’m glad I have feet. I’m grateful I can walk. I am glad to be here in India instead of Newark, New Jersey right now.”

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Upcoming Workshop 11/3 & Book

20170516_AccessingMoreCover

For the past few years, I have been teaching others how to tap into the wisdom within both to solve problems with ease and grace, and to relieve stress in minutes. I have put it into a greatly expanded 117 page manual entitled Accessing More — Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process. This is a four pronged modality that you can learn out of the book. It was designed for you to refer back to for help on a daily basis. 

Upcoming Workshop in Virginia Beach, 11/3

You can also come to the workshop at the upcoming National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists National Conference being held in Virginia Beach, this November 3-8. The class is scheduled for Friday, November 3 from 8 AM – Noon. Call 855-772-0459 or register at http://www.NATH.world.

Accessing More — Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process is available at https://www.roxannelouise.com/accessing-more-tapping.html for just $24.95 plus shipping.

What is this inner wisdom and how can you access it?

    • Have you ever had the experience of tapping into something More–more than you are aware of knowing or being able to do consciously? 
    • And has this More allowed you the ability to accomplish the difficult with ease and grace? 
    • Did it allow you to succeed even though success was considered unlikely or even impossible? 
    • Was it there just when you needed it? 
    • And did it solve a problem in the most perfect way?

Certainly, I have on multiple occasions, and I have heard the stories of others as well. Whether it is suddenly being able to solve problems that had previously defied solution, having creative breakthroughs, superhuman strength to save the life of another, or responding protocol perfect to a never before encountered emergency, people have amazed themselves and others when they have spontaneously accessed this greater wisdom, intelligence, strength, ability or knowledge. Sometimes it has come as a result of a necessity or out of nowhere during an emergency, and sometimes it has come in quiet moments after working on it for a prolonged period of time through normal conscious means and then letting their mind relax.

For example, I was awakened one morning with noise coming from my master bathroom. I found my five cats surrounding a copperhead snake that had gotten up into the ventilation system from the crawl space and pushed up the floor grate to get into the room. The snake was coiled up ready to attack, and kept rotating its head to watch each of the cats. What could I do? I had to protect my cats, prevent the snake from getting back down the floor grate and having access from the ventilation system to other parts of the house. I had to be sure to get it, dead or alive, completely out of the house without myself or my animals getting hurt. The way I responded turned out to be protocol perfect even though I had never been trained. How did I just naturally do everything right?

Another time, I found myself caught in a rip tide and rapidly pulled out to sea. I tried swimming to shore, but it didn’t work and I quickly got exhausted. I tried yelling and waving my arms for help, but those on shore didn’t notice and couldn’t hear me over the surf. I was getting wiped out with the waves and getting water in my mouth. Again, it seemed that I tapped into that something More to stay calm and focused on what I could do to stay alive.

Like a cat with nine lives, I have had many experiences starting from childhood that could have been dangerous, even fatal. I have also had many overwhelming responsibilities or pressures through which I sailed calmly. I have accomplished some amazing things with ease. You probably have done or know others who have done the same. Just google feats of superhuman strength and you will find many real life examples.

While necessity does motivate us to look deeper for ideas and strength, it certainly does not guarantee being able to do so as so many people blank or numb out, freeze or just panic. The questions for all of us are:

• How do we tap into that greater knowing, wisdom, ability or resources without it having to be an emergency, life or death situation? 

• How can we tune into whatever it is that allows us to handle life with greater ease and grace on a regular basis? 

• How can we routinely tune in and save ourselves a lot of time and energy, worry and frustration, fear and anger on or about upsetting events as well as ordinary everyday things–our job, relationships, daily life and responsibilities?

Some people may automatically jump to religious causation for all beneficial outcomes, and I do not dispute that miracles may occur. But it is my personal opinion that believing that all help comes from outside of us can actually limit the natural flow and development of what may inherently be an inside but undeveloped part of us. Instead, if we can consider that we are MORE than we think we are, we may be able to connect to the More that we truly are. I do not know or need to know where the demarcation ends of what is me at my highest and best and what goes beyond ‘me’.

Accessing More starts by adopting the open minded attitude that it is possible–that you are able to harness greater resources, wisdom and ability that go beyond the limitations of the ego and conscious mind, beyond the subconscious, to the spiritual dimension of the self that is further linked to an even greater consciousness. Start with a positive attitude and set an intention to do so.

Accessing More of both what is within and without is done below the level of conscious awareness. Simply quiet your mind, and go inside to the peaceful part of you, affirm your intention, and allow that inner something to do its work. This approach circumvents the ego, the mind games, circuitous thinking, internal and external blocks, and inhibiting energies that have prevented previous solution to the issue of concern. The process works to solve practical problems, relieve stress, and heal from long-standing issues–even sometimes those that have previously defied resolution. All aspects of your life can be addressed–mental, emotional, relationship, physical, financial, business, and spiritual.

This process can be used anytime, anyplace as a self-help tool by the ordinary person to help himself in real life situations. It can also be used for meditation, constructive self-programming, and in conjunction with other modalities. But hypnotherapists, dowsers, teachers, counselors, life coaches, energy healers, mental health practitioners, and others can also employ it as a full-fledged therapy. It draws upon the principles and practices of hypnosis, Neural Linguistic Programming, dowsing, meditation, prayer and many energy healing methods.

So what exactly is this More?

While it includes your subconscious mind that regulates all of your body functions, automatic behavior, physical, mental and emotional habits, directives and injunctions, beliefs, judgments, and memory, it goes beyond that. I believe that this More is primarily the eternal, infinite intelligence within you that is intrinsically linked to the ultimate consciousness behind all that is. Using this system increases your awareness that you are More than your ego, More than your body and local mind, and More than the individual, spiritual self that people call the soul, to something beyond.

Traditional religious circles say that this More is God, and exists totally outside and apart from the self, and is reachable through prayer, petition, ritual or sacrifice. Unfortunately, all too often prayers beg, whine, or plead in fear without really believing that help will come, or make things worse by focusing on the negative. Consequently, such practices can nullify such help.

Labeling or identifying this More is not important to access the benefits.

In fact, it can get you stuck and mired in mankind’s perpetual argument over philosophical and religious discussions that are, in the final analysis, unprovable and come down to a matter of beliefs. Whether right or wrong, true or false, your beliefs and attitude do make things easier or harder. So adopting a helpful attitude, a curious mind that holds a window of possibility when you desire to solve a problem or achieve a goal is crucial to your success.  

The Infinite Intelligence Process is one way to tap into what I call More.

It helps you to adopt an attitude that will make things easier and flow more readily. It makes a big difference in processing overload and releasing stress, and it does so in a very simple way that you can do anytime, any place. Let me show you how you can quickly and easily tap into that incredible wisdom and resources within you on a regular basis! Consider buying the book and come if at all possible to the workshop. 

How to Deal with Overload

Start by reading Dealing with Overload if you haven’t done so first.

Where do you start?

The short answer is —ANYWHERE YOU CAN!

I like to start with deep breathing because it is instant stress relief. Taking deep breaths will start to release fear, paralysis, and clear the mind. To think straight on how to solve a problem, you have first to get oxygen to the brain. Even a few, slow, deep breaths will help. Any physical exercise, singing, dancing, heavy duty housework, chopping wood, laughing– all make you breathe.

Add music as it will instantly change your mood. If you need to accomplish physical work, combine it with energizing/happy music. Whereas, if you need to accomplish mental work, then combine it with soothing, relaxing music.

My top picks are to 

  • meditate for a few minutes to clear my mind and affirm that I have access to internal resources to do what is needed
  • do some needed task, no matter how small

Sometimes I need to get totally away from things, and just do something relaxing or fun. This is the point of vacations — rest and renewal. This clears out the paralysis and gives me energy that I can then harness to address important issues. Make sure that any ‘fun’ item is not just mindless, time wasting like t.v./internet, but something like being with people you love and care about, or singing, dancing, laughing, sports, etc. that makes you breathe, releases stuck energy out of the body, and shifts your mood. Give yourself a time limit.

Then move to the current problem. Write down various things that have to be done to resolve whatever is overwhelming you, and do whatever you can that you can tackle it immediately. This might as simple as making some phone calls, setting an appointment, scheduling for some help. You do not have to know everything you need to do, just the next step. Do that!

If you don’t know what to do to resolve the issue that is overwhelming you, do other tasks that will be then out of the way for when you do know what to do with the area of concern. This could be your everyday needed tasks like washing the dishes, doing the laundry, food shopping, cooking, etc. I have found that getting your energy moving in any direction, relieves the paralysis in other areas. 

Get help

Find someone who likes solving your type of problem and is good at it. For example, if your house is a mess and that is draining your energy just to look at it, find someone to come in and help you. If you can afford it, hire someone and delegate it. If not, barter, trade with a friend. In other words, I’ll trade you two hours with you coming to my house and helping me do ____ on Saturday, and I’ll come to help you do whatever you want help with for two hours the following week.

Just as two heads are better than one in solving a problem, four hands make the work go faster. When I hire someone to clean, I normally work with them doing those things that are best left to me. This might mean cleaning out a drawer or closet. If you work along with someone else, not only are you doubling the progress, but the other person will keep you on track, and the socialization while you work can even be fun. 

Again, if money is an issue, find some other way to make it work. For example, I had some extra bedrooms in my house and at one time used the rent to pay for needed help. At other times, I traded a room for their labor in my house or farm. I bartered hypnosis for massage. I registered with a local Time Bank to use my skills to get help I needed. Many years ago, I traded babysitting with a couple of other mothers. Ask yourself, how can I get the help I need with ____? What do I have to sell/barter/share? Who can help me with ___? 

Goal Setting 

Lessening overload will always entail goal setting and ordinary problem solving. As mentioned, get the energy moving any way you can by doing something. Then do the next easiest task, and the next. For example, when I have to clean house, I start with the smallest, easiest room. This is usually the bathroom. Then I move on to the next easiest room, and so on. By the time, I get to the hardest room, I am already feeling better by seeing so much of the house looking good that I am in a more hopeful, better mood to take on the bigger job whether that day or the next.

However, some people like to tackle the hardest thing that they are avoiding first. What works for me in tacking whatever I find overwhelming is to get someone to work with me. It bypasses procrastination and generates tremendous energy that persists even after they leave. Having someone work with you is tremendously helpful because they are not emotionally invested in your problem. They may also have the skills you need and enjoy using them. They see solution where you just see problem. They are energized by your challenge, and you are drained. Their approach and possibility thinking can be positively contagious.

Be accountable to someone for taking action.

A client wanted help in getting rid of procrastination so that she could complete a writing project. So besides doing hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on procrastination and non-beneficial beliefs, I made a contract with her. She made a commitment to do  x_ pages and/or _x_  time writing, and I would rewrite/edit one chapter of a book I was working on. At the end of each day we were to email each other on what we had done. She submitted her short stories for a competition, and I completed a rewrite of my self-hypnosis book. It helped us both. You can make a similar contract with a friend.

Develop a do-able strategy or plan of attack.

Make lists and prioritize. Put it on the calendar. Then start checking off as you accomplish each thing. Make a note each night on what you have accomplished. Seeing progress as things are crossed off will make you feel better. If you don’t know how to set up a strategy, ask someone else. There are many forums, meet-ups, business organizations that offer help.

Can you make it fun?

Perhaps you can listen to something interesting as you work. For example, I used to put the Saturday Matinee broadcast of the Metropolitan Opera on while I was working in the kitchen. During that broadcast, not only did the kitchen get cleaned, but I did my major food preparation/ cooking for the week. That cooking made sure that I was going to eat right –important if you are to maintain a high level of energy. Because I was so mesmerized by the heavenly music, I was not caught up in “woe is me,” or “I hate doing this”, etc. I follow the same strategy with other mundane tasks.

If you have to go out and do something you have been avoiding, can you go with a friend or meet up afterwards? For example, I have friends who take a friend to their doctor visits. I know others who join a gym together, or go for a regularly scheduled walk. They get their exercise done and socialize at the same time. Make a commitment, and you will get it done. 

Pay attention to basic self-care

Sleep, good nutrition, contact with others that care about you, fun and humor all provide the energy you need to solve problems and get out from under. Positive energy has to be coming in both to the physical body and to the spirit so that burnout does not occur. Find a way to get more coming in than is going out. 

Pay attention to your self-talk

Your thoughts will help or hinder you. They will make it easier or harder. Become aware and shift from the negative ones quickly. Here are some: “Sooner or later, I figure it out.” “I find a way that works for me.” “I get the help I need to do this.” “I take it one step at a time.”

More Ways of How to Deal With Overload 

There are a thousand ways to get rid of being overwhelmed. My favorite way is my own Infinite Intelligence Process. See Accessing More–Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process . Another book, Your Unlimited Potential will teach you self-hypnosis, stress management, Walking Mantras, and goal setting. The Emotional Freedom Technique is also very helpful, and I teach it to ALL my students and clients. 

Questions? 

Call me: Roxanne Louise at 434-263-4337 or email me at RoxanneLouise2@gmail.com. 

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

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