Upcoming Workshop 11/3 & Book

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For the past few years, I have been teaching others how to tap into the wisdom within both to solve problems with ease and grace, and to relieve stress in minutes. I have put it into a greatly expanded 117 page manual entitled Accessing More — Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process. This is a four pronged modality that you can learn out of the book. It was designed for you to refer back to for help on a daily basis. 

Upcoming Workshop in Virginia Beach, 11/3

You can also come to the workshop at the upcoming National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists National Conference being held in Virginia Beach, this November 3-8. The class is scheduled for Friday, November 3 from 8 AM – Noon. Call 855-772-0459 or register at http://www.NATH.world.

Accessing More — Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process is available at https://www.roxannelouise.com/accessing-more-tapping.html for just $24.95 plus shipping.

What is this inner wisdom and how can you access it?

    • Have you ever had the experience of tapping into something More–more than you are aware of knowing or being able to do consciously? 
    • And has this More allowed you the ability to accomplish the difficult with ease and grace? 
    • Did it allow you to succeed even though success was considered unlikely or even impossible? 
    • Was it there just when you needed it? 
    • And did it solve a problem in the most perfect way?

Certainly, I have on multiple occasions, and I have heard the stories of others as well. Whether it is suddenly being able to solve problems that had previously defied solution, having creative breakthroughs, superhuman strength to save the life of another, or responding protocol perfect to a never before encountered emergency, people have amazed themselves and others when they have spontaneously accessed this greater wisdom, intelligence, strength, ability or knowledge. Sometimes it has come as a result of a necessity or out of nowhere during an emergency, and sometimes it has come in quiet moments after working on it for a prolonged period of time through normal conscious means and then letting their mind relax.

For example, I was awakened one morning with noise coming from my master bathroom. I found my five cats surrounding a copperhead snake that had gotten up into the ventilation system from the crawl space and pushed up the floor grate to get into the room. The snake was coiled up ready to attack, and kept rotating its head to watch each of the cats. What could I do? I had to protect my cats, prevent the snake from getting back down the floor grate and having access from the ventilation system to other parts of the house. I had to be sure to get it, dead or alive, completely out of the house without myself or my animals getting hurt. The way I responded turned out to be protocol perfect even though I had never been trained. How did I just naturally do everything right?

Another time, I found myself caught in a rip tide and rapidly pulled out to sea. I tried swimming to shore, but it didn’t work and I quickly got exhausted. I tried yelling and waving my arms for help, but those on shore didn’t notice and couldn’t hear me over the surf. I was getting wiped out with the waves and getting water in my mouth. Again, it seemed that I tapped into that something More to stay calm and focused on what I could do to stay alive.

Like a cat with nine lives, I have had many experiences starting from childhood that could have been dangerous, even fatal. I have also had many overwhelming responsibilities or pressures through which I sailed calmly. I have accomplished some amazing things with ease. You probably have done or know others who have done the same. Just google feats of superhuman strength and you will find many real life examples.

While necessity does motivate us to look deeper for ideas and strength, it certainly does not guarantee being able to do so as so many people blank or numb out, freeze or just panic. The questions for all of us are:

• How do we tap into that greater knowing, wisdom, ability or resources without it having to be an emergency, life or death situation? 

• How can we tune into whatever it is that allows us to handle life with greater ease and grace on a regular basis? 

• How can we routinely tune in and save ourselves a lot of time and energy, worry and frustration, fear and anger on or about upsetting events as well as ordinary everyday things–our job, relationships, daily life and responsibilities?

Some people may automatically jump to religious causation for all beneficial outcomes, and I do not dispute that miracles may occur. But it is my personal opinion that believing that all help comes from outside of us can actually limit the natural flow and development of what may inherently be an inside but undeveloped part of us. Instead, if we can consider that we are MORE than we think we are, we may be able to connect to the More that we truly are. I do not know or need to know where the demarcation ends of what is me at my highest and best and what goes beyond ‘me’.

Accessing More starts by adopting the open minded attitude that it is possible–that you are able to harness greater resources, wisdom and ability that go beyond the limitations of the ego and conscious mind, beyond the subconscious, to the spiritual dimension of the self that is further linked to an even greater consciousness. Start with a positive attitude and set an intention to do so.

Accessing More of both what is within and without is done below the level of conscious awareness. Simply quiet your mind, and go inside to the peaceful part of you, affirm your intention, and allow that inner something to do its work. This approach circumvents the ego, the mind games, circuitous thinking, internal and external blocks, and inhibiting energies that have prevented previous solution to the issue of concern. The process works to solve practical problems, relieve stress, and heal from long-standing issues–even sometimes those that have previously defied resolution. All aspects of your life can be addressed–mental, emotional, relationship, physical, financial, business, and spiritual.

This process can be used anytime, anyplace as a self-help tool by the ordinary person to help himself in real life situations. It can also be used for meditation, constructive self-programming, and in conjunction with other modalities. But hypnotherapists, dowsers, teachers, counselors, life coaches, energy healers, mental health practitioners, and others can also employ it as a full-fledged therapy. It draws upon the principles and practices of hypnosis, Neural Linguistic Programming, dowsing, meditation, prayer and many energy healing methods.

So what exactly is this More?

While it includes your subconscious mind that regulates all of your body functions, automatic behavior, physical, mental and emotional habits, directives and injunctions, beliefs, judgments, and memory, it goes beyond that. I believe that this More is primarily the eternal, infinite intelligence within you that is intrinsically linked to the ultimate consciousness behind all that is. Using this system increases your awareness that you are More than your ego, More than your body and local mind, and More than the individual, spiritual self that people call the soul, to something beyond.

Traditional religious circles say that this More is God, and exists totally outside and apart from the self, and is reachable through prayer, petition, ritual or sacrifice. Unfortunately, all too often prayers beg, whine, or plead in fear without really believing that help will come, or make things worse by focusing on the negative. Consequently, such practices can nullify such help.

Labeling or identifying this More is not important to access the benefits.

In fact, it can get you stuck and mired in mankind’s perpetual argument over philosophical and religious discussions that are, in the final analysis, unprovable and come down to a matter of beliefs. Whether right or wrong, true or false, your beliefs and attitude do make things easier or harder. So adopting a helpful attitude, a curious mind that holds a window of possibility when you desire to solve a problem or achieve a goal is crucial to your success.  

The Infinite Intelligence Process is one way to tap into what I call More.

It helps you to adopt an attitude that will make things easier and flow more readily. It makes a big difference in processing overload and releasing stress, and it does so in a very simple way that you can do anytime, any place. Let me show you how you can quickly and easily tap into that incredible wisdom and resources within you on a regular basis! Consider buying the book and come if at all possible to the workshop. 

How to Deal with Overload

Start by reading Dealing with Overload if you haven’t done so first.

Where do you start?

The short answer is —ANYWHERE YOU CAN!

I like to start with deep breathing because it is instant stress relief. Taking deep breaths will start to release fear, paralysis, and clear the mind. To think straight on how to solve a problem, you have first to get oxygen to the brain. Even a few, slow, deep breaths will help. Any physical exercise, singing, dancing, heavy duty housework, chopping wood, laughing– all make you breathe.

Add music as it will instantly change your mood. If you need to accomplish physical work, combine it with energizing/happy music. Whereas, if you need to accomplish mental work, then combine it with soothing, relaxing music.

My top picks are to 

  • meditate for a few minutes to clear my mind and affirm that I have access to internal resources to do what is needed
  • do some needed task, no matter how small

Sometimes I need to get totally away from things, and just do something relaxing or fun. This is the point of vacations — rest and renewal. This clears out the paralysis and gives me energy that I can then harness to address important issues. Make sure that any ‘fun’ item is not just mindless, time wasting like t.v./internet, but something like being with people you love and care about, or singing, dancing, laughing, sports, etc. that makes you breathe, releases stuck energy out of the body, and shifts your mood. Give yourself a time limit.

Then move to the current problem. Write down various things that have to be done to resolve whatever is overwhelming you, and do whatever you can that you can tackle it immediately. This might as simple as making some phone calls, setting an appointment, scheduling for some help. You do not have to know everything you need to do, just the next step. Do that!

If you don’t know what to do to resolve the issue that is overwhelming you, do other tasks that will be then out of the way for when you do know what to do with the area of concern. This could be your everyday needed tasks like washing the dishes, doing the laundry, food shopping, cooking, etc. I have found that getting your energy moving in any direction, relieves the paralysis in other areas. 

Get help

Find someone who likes solving your type of problem and is good at it. For example, if your house is a mess and that is draining your energy just to look at it, find someone to come in and help you. If you can afford it, hire someone and delegate it. If not, barter, trade with a friend. In other words, I’ll trade you two hours with you coming to my house and helping me do ____ on Saturday, and I’ll come to help you do whatever you want help with for two hours the following week.

Just as two heads are better than one in solving a problem, four hands make the work go faster. When I hire someone to clean, I normally work with them doing those things that are best left to me. This might mean cleaning out a drawer or closet. If you work along with someone else, not only are you doubling the progress, but the other person will keep you on track, and the socialization while you work can even be fun. 

Again, if money is an issue, find some other way to make it work. For example, I had some extra bedrooms in my house and at one time used the rent to pay for needed help. At other times, I traded a room for their labor in my house or farm. I bartered hypnosis for massage. I registered with a local Time Bank to use my skills to get help I needed. Many years ago, I traded babysitting with a couple of other mothers. Ask yourself, how can I get the help I need with ____? What do I have to sell/barter/share? Who can help me with ___? 

Goal Setting 

Lessening overload will always entail goal setting and ordinary problem solving. As mentioned, get the energy moving any way you can by doing something. Then do the next easiest task, and the next. For example, when I have to clean house, I start with the smallest, easiest room. This is usually the bathroom. Then I move on to the next easiest room, and so on. By the time, I get to the hardest room, I am already feeling better by seeing so much of the house looking good that I am in a more hopeful, better mood to take on the bigger job whether that day or the next.

However, some people like to tackle the hardest thing that they are avoiding first. What works for me in tacking whatever I find overwhelming is to get someone to work with me. It bypasses procrastination and generates tremendous energy that persists even after they leave. Having someone work with you is tremendously helpful because they are not emotionally invested in your problem. They may also have the skills you need and enjoy using them. They see solution where you just see problem. They are energized by your challenge, and you are drained. Their approach and possibility thinking can be positively contagious.

Be accountable to someone for taking action.

A client wanted help in getting rid of procrastination so that she could complete a writing project. So besides doing hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on procrastination and non-beneficial beliefs, I made a contract with her. She made a commitment to do  x_ pages and/or _x_  time writing, and I would rewrite/edit one chapter of a book I was working on. At the end of each day we were to email each other on what we had done. She submitted her short stories for a competition, and I completed a rewrite of my self-hypnosis book. It helped us both. You can make a similar contract with a friend.

Develop a do-able strategy or plan of attack.

Make lists and prioritize. Put it on the calendar. Then start checking off as you accomplish each thing. Make a note each night on what you have accomplished. Seeing progress as things are crossed off will make you feel better. If you don’t know how to set up a strategy, ask someone else. There are many forums, meet-ups, business organizations that offer help.

Can you make it fun?

Perhaps you can listen to something interesting as you work. For example, I used to put the Saturday Matinee broadcast of the Metropolitan Opera on while I was working in the kitchen. During that broadcast, not only did the kitchen get cleaned, but I did my major food preparation/ cooking for the week. That cooking made sure that I was going to eat right –important if you are to maintain a high level of energy. Because I was so mesmerized by the heavenly music, I was not caught up in “woe is me,” or “I hate doing this”, etc. I follow the same strategy with other mundane tasks.

If you have to go out and do something you have been avoiding, can you go with a friend or meet up afterwards? For example, I have friends who take a friend to their doctor visits. I know others who join a gym together, or go for a regularly scheduled walk. They get their exercise done and socialize at the same time. Make a commitment, and you will get it done. 

Pay attention to basic self-care

Sleep, good nutrition, contact with others that care about you, fun and humor all provide the energy you need to solve problems and get out from under. Positive energy has to be coming in both to the physical body and to the spirit so that burnout does not occur. Find a way to get more coming in than is going out. 

Pay attention to your self-talk

Your thoughts will help or hinder you. They will make it easier or harder. Become aware and shift from the negative ones quickly. Here are some: “Sooner or later, I figure it out.” “I find a way that works for me.” “I get the help I need to do this.” “I take it one step at a time.”

More Ways of How to Deal With Overload 

There are a thousand ways to get rid of being overwhelmed. My favorite way is my own Infinite Intelligence Process. See Accessing More–Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process . Another book, Your Unlimited Potential will teach you self-hypnosis, stress management, Walking Mantras, and goal setting. The Emotional Freedom Technique is also very helpful, and I teach it to ALL my students and clients. 

Questions? 

Call me: Roxanne Louise at 434-263-4337 or email me at RoxanneLouise2@gmail.com. 

PUBLISHED: Releasing Anger without Killing Anyone!

Just Published!!!!

beartoons-anger    Cartoon citation: beartoons.com

Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone!

by Roxanne Louise

An entire Anger Management Course!

Teach right out of the book!

Use it to help yourself! Use it to help others! 

A jam-packed guide on how to:

√ Turn anger into a blessing! 

√ Shift anger into constructive action! 

√ Use your challenges to improve yourself, your business, relationships & your life!

    • Understand the underlying dynamics! 
    • Change how you look at things so that they don’t bother you nearly as much! 
    • Make your enemies & problems help you! 
    • Harness anger as motivation to heal & make much needed change! 
    • Communicate more effectively! 
    • Fight clean! 
    • Stop conversations from spiraling downwards! 
    • Notice negative patterns & screw them up! 
    • Take effective action without the baggage!
    • Enjoy your life despite the crap!

Jam Packed Tips, Strategies, Techniques & Visualizations! 

Turn Everything Into a Blessing!

154 pages. Just $29.95 plus $5 shipping.  Order here: https://www.roxannelouise.com/releasing-anger.html

 

The Relationship Between Fear and Depression, Breath and Posture

How You Breathe Can Lessen Fear 

A recent study by Christina Zelano at Northwestern University indicates that breathing in through the nose as opposed to the mouth helps a person to respond more quickly to fear and knowing this can help you to deal with it. 

“We can potentially use this fact to our advantage. For example if you’re in a dangerous environment with fearful stimuli, our data indicates that you can respond more quickly if you are inhaling through your nose.” ~Christina Zelano

But, what I would add to this is that it is NOT ENOUGH to just breathe through the nose, but to BREATHE DEEPLY and FULLY. 

My understanding is that the first reaction of fear is to freeze the breathing mechanism – in other words, to hold the breath. This is the deer in the headlights syndrome while you are evaluating what to do (run/fight or stay in freeze). The fastest way I have found to discharge that fear is then to deliberately take a deep, big breath. Followed by other deep, regulated breaths, the mind quiets down.

Deep Breathing Lessens Depression & Fatigue Too!

As a former classical singer with NYC Opera and elsewhere, I noticed that deep breathing whether through the nose or mouth through the process of singing, dancing will process out the debilitating emotions of fear and depression as well as fatigue. While music also plays a significant part, I am sure this significant improvement has much to do with the increased oxygen reaching the brain. Classical singers while singing, for example, breathe four times as deeply as people at rest. Increased breathing and oxygen intake through any form of exercise will put you in a better frame of mind and in a more emotionally balanced state where you are able to think more clearly and make more rational decisions. 

Posture is Important 

Deep breathing is aided by an erect posture that allows the rib cage to expand. Then a person must train themselves to keep the chest still while breathing  deeper down that fully engages the diaphragm. This means that the belly moves in and out with each breath.

Good posture makes better breathing possible, and greater oxygenation of the brain allows a better processing of emotions. But posture is by itself relevant to mood and energy levels. Multiple studies indicate that good posture, holding the head erect and eyes looking forward rather than down [downward facing eyes puts a person into their emotions] lessens depression and fatigue! There are multiple such articles cited on the internet indicating that simply choosing to alter body posture to a more upright position is a quick shortcut to improve mood and energy levels. 

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.  

Mistakes, Regrets & Moving On

I was listening to Oprah Winfrey saying that “there are no mistakes because you have a supreme destiny.. There is a supreme moment of destiny, of calling on your life. Your job is to feel that, to hear that, to know that ….Sometimes when you are not listening you get off track…but it’s all leading to the same path. There are no wrong paths.…you learn as much from your losses as you do from your victories.”

When you are overwhelmed with a challenge,

“get still and ask what is the next right move, and from that space, ask what is the next right move, and the next right move…You are not defined by what someone says is a failure for you. Failure is just there to point you in a different direction.”iu-2
citation: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1588759/images/o-OPRAH-facebook.jpg

Personally, I have regrets.

I have made lots of mistakes, some really, really stupid, unwise, disastrous, painful, expensive mistakes. Sometimes overconfident of my abilities, I have thrust myself full into relationships, careers, relocations, obligations, purchases, financial matters without really understanding what it would mean–the ramifications of it and whether I was capable not just at that moment to handle it, but whether it would be sustainable and desirable long term.

On the other hand, sometimes reeling from the pain of previous mistakes or regrets, I might have been under confident, and did not take the leap of faith to track down and seize a new opportunity, relationship or experience. Sometimes I didn’t think I was good enough, worthy, capable, and so held back. Or that the carrot dangling in front of me was just a tease and would be snatched away at the last moment causing me more pain at rejection or failure. Sometimes I just needed time to lick my wounds before risking again.
BUT I have learned from all of my mistakes, although, unfortunately, not right away. Some  I made over and over again until it became obvious that I needed to do something different, that it wasn’t a matter of trying harder or tweeking my approach.

The value of your mistakes

Mistakes, failures all teach you a lot. All of the wisdom I gained from my own has gone into helping others. They have caused me to be more empathetic to others, to understand what they are going through, and how they can move out of it. I can now provide the candle of hope for them that there is  life on the other side of even major mistakes precisely because I have been there, done that. And so can you.

As a small child, I sat at the feet of my amazing and wise grandmothers and listened to their stories. By age 4, I decided that above all I wanted to achieve wisdom in my life. However, wisdom comes from experience, and that includes mistakes and failure, and sometimes regrets.

Learning and moving on

My new mantra is “I turn everything into a blessing”. Or sometimes, I just say “how can I turn this into  a blessing?” I look for something I can learn regardless of how I feel or felt about what happened. This means that I get far less stressed or aggravated about new unpleasantries than before. I bounce back faster. As my outside ages, I get better on the inside. And so can you.
Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.            

Staying Balanced in Midst of Chaos & Conflict

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Getting Sucked Down the Rabbit Hole

Realizing that I was definitely off center with the intense emotions before and after the 2016 US Presidential Election, I had to regain my equilibrium. I had gotten lost in a litany of distressing events and obsessed with surfing the internet for news to try to understand what was happening and why. As a result, I was vacillating in the emotional sea of worry, upset, depression and gloom.

Reconnecting with My Core

I needed to practice what I preach as a stress management expert. While I think it is imperative to be informed about current events, the forces that are guiding those events, and the big picture of overall trends, there has to be a balance between awareness with detachment and then action if appropriate. A long view of history shows continuous conflicts. Yet mankind has continued and some progress has been made. While there are global and national issues to be addressed, there are also local and personal issues as well. One still has to carry water and chop wood, but being aware of myself as a soul, as a spiritual being and consciousness beyond time and space, helps me immensely. 

Basic Self Care

Balancing the mind and emotions has to start with adequate sleep as the foundation along with wholesome food and exercise. I practice Donna Eden’s 5 minute exercise routine, which helps balance the brain and body so I can think better, raises vitality and gets the body’s energy to flow properly. I also drink Source Energy Medicine (energized water). Besides hydrating the system, it is intended to raise your vibration while it deals with health issues. 

Stress Management

40580f831cc2f1219357730c661ae625 I have many tools for this , but the first thing I do to dump stress and clear my mind so that I can see things more clearly is to use the Infinite Intelligence Process that I have written about in Accessing More — Tapping Into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process. One part of this three-pronged modality is to set up a hypnotic or dowsing program (several paragraphs long) that is run by a shortcut command consisting of 2 trigger words. I use the words “process” and “go” to run the program. For example,

“From the perspective of my High Self, process and resolve everything I have read and heard on the news and internet today. Keep only what is true, relevant and important, and discard the rest. Release any unnecessary fear or worry so that I can sleep peacefully through the night. Go.”

What is mine to do?

If I am going to pick a battle to fight, an issue to address, and a way of making a difference, I need to prioritize. What is my job to do? Where can I make a difference? Perhaps all that I can do quickly is to make others aware of what is going on. Perhaps I can sign a petition, send an email to appropriate parties. A colleague advocates getting involved in town meetings. And I agree that locally is where most of our power lies. But it comes back to asking where I want to focus my energy.

To help me make better choices, I use another part of the Infinite Intelligence Process, which is to affirm that I already have an inner wisdom that is resourceful and capable of meeting any challenge and making decisions. I start out with “there is a part of me that knows____ and that part is ___.” I let the words sink in without having to consciously know the answers. Rather, I trust that by just saying/thinking it with assurance that some divine wisdom is accessible to me, something is initiated to make it true. In the best sense of the word, it is a statement of faith that activates change on an unconscious level. For example,

“There is a part of my being that knows the best use of my time, energy and resources today. And that part is making that information conscious now in a way that ever more efficiently guides my actions. I am surrounded with whatever I need to use those resources wisely and effectively. I know what to do and how to proceed.”

The Importance of Setting Meaningful Goals

Goal setting is not about having a ‘to do’ list, although specific action designed to move you closer to achieving major goals will be on that list. I am talking about setting goals as objectives that inspire you to achieve things truly meaningful to you. Having meaningful goals helps me to focus my energies in a positive direction and to use my time and energy wisely. However, in between projects, I can get sidetracked just as I was recently. So I need to set new goals as I just finished with my classes and conferences for the year. Without clear objectives and meaningful goals, I can wallow in non-productive rumination and activities. I am reminded of the folk saying

“Idleness is the devil’s playground.”

Looking for the Good

Keeping a keen awareness of all the good, the beautiful and the love that is the world creates balance. I need to hear some good news, and physically connect with people and hug them. This helps me to maintain hope and keep my concern about the bad things happening and worry about the future in check.

Years ago when I was going through separation and a divorce, I would ask people to tell me a joke. I really needed to laugh. And as they rattled through a joke or two, I did laugh. Then as I retold that joke to the next person, I laughed again. They laughed, and we all built up a repertoire that kept our spirits bouncing despite whatever challenges any of us were facing.

Random Acts of Kindness

Probably the fastest way to feel better and get out of your own head and put your problems aside for a while is to do something for someone else. It always helps me and just feels good to help others. I think I am sometimes the guardian angel for all those turtles trying to cross the road. So on my list of things to regularly do to keep myself grounded and centered, I am going to deliberately look for more ways to help somebody else.

Count Your Blessings

While I periodically count my blessings, I now commit to make it an essential part of my daily routine. Some people already do this as part of their evening prayers, or when offering a prayer before a meal. When stressed, it helps to remember that regardless of what is upsetting me or might happen in the future, for today I have a roof over my head, food to eat, running water and electricity. For today, I have many blessings. Then I just do what I can for that day. Planning helps. Action helps. Worry doesn’t.

Write a Letter of Appreciation

Recently, I came across the name of Martin Seligman, psychologist, former president of the American Psychological Association, author of the classic books Learned Optimism and Authentic Happiness, and founder of the Positive Psychology movement. He advocates writing a letter of appreciation to someone who has touched your life. This is not a new idea, but a very powerful one. I can tell you for myself, that receiving a sincere compliment or heartfelt thank you totally makes your day. And especially if it is written down where you can reread it, the message touches your heart again and again. Such a letter blesses the author as well as the receiver.

Gratitude

Seligman also recommends that you practice daily remembering  Three Good Things, also called the Three Blessings. Basically, in the evening, you write down three good things that happened that day. But this is more than a simple inventory of things for which you are grateful. He asks you to think of why that happened, or what traits about yourself allowed you to appreciate or enjoy those things. Thinking of good things increases your well-being and lifts depression. But thinking of what you did, or what it was that allowed you to notice or appreciate those things, makes you will recognize that you have the ability to bring happiness to yourself and others.  

“Go to where the problem isn’t.” 

I remember the quote above by Deepak Chopra. Deliberately move yourself physically or at least mentally to a place devoid of the problem. This is the point of a vacation. But at home, you might take yourself for a walk. Or just look around and focus on any good thing you see. It might a squirrel going after nuts, or a pair of them chasing one another up a tree. It could be the mist coming up off the low ground, or a brilliance of the fall leaves, or playing with your pets or children. I know someone who regularly buys flowers. Staring at a bouquet can be a meditation in itself. For me, I might just hang out with the piggies or the new born bunnies.

 Pippies5onMommy1    bunny2days 

Spend a moment of ABSOLUTE ATTENTION on something/anything else.

Break the pattern. Distract the mind. Do something fun or interesting.

Maybe you visit a friend or loved one or do something fun. Comedies help as does reading an interesting book, doing meditation, having a hot bath, or getting bodywork. I know someone who bounces on a trampoline. My son surfs. Skiing, mountain climbing, tennis and other sports force you to be totally focused in the moment. 

But wherever you are, day or night, there is some place you can go to at least in your mind. Think of any place or anyone that makes you feel good. Do you have photos handy? Are they hung up where you see them regularly? Take a moment to stare at the photo, and get in touch with the love that is there, the happy memory as if it is happening all over again.

 Use Music

Music is an instant state changer so keep handy both calming music and happy, upbeat ones to help you. The power of this is that when you go back to addressing issues, you are re-energized, able to make better decisions, and more effective action.

Celebrate

Lastly, life is about celebration and sharing of life with one another. Sing, dance, have a party. Or as a Yiddish toast goes, L’Chaim, which means:

TO LIFE! 

If you think I can help you, here is my offer of  a free 30 minute phone session during the Months of December and January on any question relevant to hypnosis, stress management, mind-body healing, Reiki or dowsing. Call 434-263-4337.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.  

 

 

Before you unplug or disconnect…

To help you maintain a positive attitude that is so necessary to be happy, healthy, and succeed in any area of life, it is very commonly  advocated that you

  1. stop listening to the news,  ignore what is going on in the world, and to
  2. disconnect with the ‘negative people’ in your life.

What’s wrong with that?

1. Mankind’s very survival has depended upon paying attention. So has the existence of democracy and freedom.

Fail to take prompt, prudent, appropriate action, and you lose it. Better advice would be to be discerning in one’s news sources. As journalist Naomi Wolf has recently said, it is “crazy” not to check out what the media is saying because so much of it is propaganda, or ‘spin’. World events are sometimes ‘theatre, spectacle’ — false flag events put on deliberately to sway public opinion, to control and manipulate, and to receive approval for political response. See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOh2vLp49js

She says that there is practically no real journalism happening anymore. News sources are not checked to see if accurate before reporting, so some have been blatantly false. Also, not mentioned by her but true is that almost all of American news sources (t.v., radio, newspapers) are owned by only 6 people. This limits the viewpoints expressed, and causes the very same ‘news’ scripts to be read on multiple channels. So it is important to look for accurate, trustworthy news sources that can alert you to developments that are important to support or snuff out. Then turn off the rest.

2. What you do not see, you cannot address, so the situation continues to fester and deteriorate.

I dare you to ‘think positive’ about the ’empty tank’ fuel gage on your car, or to the leak dripping from the ceiling. Not paying attention to it does not make the problem go away. While it is not easy to do so, it is important to

  • Be AWARE, even VERY AWARE, yet have PERSPECTIVE,
  • Take POSITIVE ACTION without losing HOPE,
  • Find a place of BALANCE.

Environment that includes the thoughts and feelings of others, does have a powerful effect upon us. Stress and overwhelm is over the top. It seems that one way to control the negativity in our environment might be to cut off contact or dismiss those in our life who are depressed, upset or otherwise ‘negative’. But there is a price to pay for this.

3. You cannot write off anyone without losing some humanity within yourself.

Currently, scientists talk about a theory of Entanglement–the idea that everything and everyone is connected. Therefore each impacts upon the other. Ho’oponopono, an old Hawaiian practice, talks about each person’s responsibility in causing/contributing to another person’s behavior or illness. Christians are told “you are your brother’s keeper”, “love one another”, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Other religions also emphasize compassion, kindness and charity.

And yet, in the real world we understand that there are limits to our time, finances, mental and emotional energy we can expend on being compassionate, listening to or helping others. Where is the balance?

Rather than write off a person that frequently complains, or is frustrated, angry or depressed, there is a way to show compassion, love and accept people where they are, and help them to shift their focus from problem to solution, and help yourself at the same time.

You can accomplish this through

  • just listening,
  • trying to understand what they are saying/feeling and why,
  • acknowledging their feelings whether or not you agree with them,
  • affirming your belief in their ability to meet their challenge ,
  • and if it is true, just letting them know that you love/care about them
    • “I’m so sorry you are going through this, but I want you to know I ____ (love you, believe in you, feel you are going to get through this).”
  • If you don’t have the time or the inclination to listen and try to understand, then at least acknowledge their upset, and affirm a basic ability that exists within everyone to figure things out eventually (with or without help).
    • I can tell you are really ___ (upset, depressed, etc.) about this. But I am ___ (unable to help you with it ___  because ___ (I am leaving right now, about to ___, don’t have any quick answers to help you with it). Nonetheless, I believe you have greater resources within yourself to bring into solving this problem. And I believe you are going to find the appropriate help you need to resolve it just as you have with other problems you have had in your life. I bet that you are probably a lot more capable and resourceful than you are giving yourself credit for right now. And if you think about other things you solved that you never thought you could, that awareness will help you now.

Use ordinary conversation to shift the mood of yourself and others

  • Ask them a question that moves to possibility:
    • If it could work, how would it work?
    • If you could ___, what is something, no matter how small, that you could do right now? 
  • Ask a question that reminds them of other tough times they got through
    • Can you remember another time in your life when things looked bleak, but which you got through? (If they respond ‘yes’, then say) Tell me about it.
    • Has your car ever broken down? Did you get it fixed or just get another form of transportation? And did you solve that problem because it became a priority, and because it became a priority, you figured out a way to solve it? So if you make this problem of ___ a priority, can we assume that it is only a matter of time that you figure it out just like the other priorities in your life?
  • Ask them a question that shifts how they look at it
    • Who do you know that would look at this situation/problem differently? That might not be beaten down by it? That might not even be as upset or upset at all? What would they think that would allow them to have the same experience but not suffer nearly as much? 
    • If you were to pretend that you were ___, how would you go about resolving this issue?
    • How can you look at this situation so that it doesn’t bother you nearly as much?
  • Remind them of their resources to meet the challenge
    • family, friends, their network, skills, talents, internal strengths
  • Remind them of other positive things going on
  • Give them an image of themselves as more intelligent, capable, resourceful than they are projecting at the moment.
    • You know, right now you are giving me the impression that you think this problem is bigger than you are. But I don’t believe it. I think that this problem is going to force you to grow and is going to bring to the fore greater abilities and resourcefulness within yourself than you ever thought that you had. 

I look for and help others to see resources within themselves. You can do the same. And when you do, you will find that you have greater resources within yourself!

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.