When You Lose Everything

The devastating fires in California that destroyed the entire town of Paradise, and destroyed thousands of homes, businesses and neighborhoods in multiple other locations throughout the state, brings up the question, what do you do when you lose everything–your home, your livelihood, your community, all of your possessions, everything you worked so hard over the years to create, your way of life, and, in some cases, even the lives of your loved ones?

Whether because of storms, natural disasters or war, illness, collapse of the economy or infrastructure, many throughout the world have faced this question. The shock and the grief can be so overwhelming that it can be immobilizing precisely when swift action is required. Such shock can set up more problems including illness later on, but severely impedes the clarity of mind to know how to move forward now and the will to do so.

So what do you do?

The  immediate issues are clear:

  • find and remove yourself and loved ones from immediate danger
  • secure the basic necessities of food, water and shelter
  • gather your family, friends and neighbors around you to hold and support one another
  • find out about community resources
  • organize with others to deal with the immediate emergency
  • salvage what is left and assess what is gone
  • cleanup the debris

But then what?

An important component to moving beyond the devastation, is your interpretation of the events. If you accept it as a force of nature that you could have done nothing to prevent, you will much more easily be able to move on from the loss. But if you blame yourself, that guilt or self-condemnation will drain your energy making responding effectively harder and calling for you to punish yourself further. If you blame someone else, your resulting anger, rage and possible hatred, while mobilizing you to take action, will have a punishing effect upon your health and relationships. And if you wallow in grief, it also will consume you. And then, you may vacillate among all of the above in soup of emotions that is hard to process.

Accepting what cannot be changed helps

Acceptance does not mean that you like the situation. It does mean that you realize that you cannot afford to squander your time, energy or momentum hoping that it is all a bad dream and you will open your eyes and everything is back the way it was. All the tears and wishing it were not so will not change anything. Stay focused.

“Since this has happened, what do I want to do now?

What is my next step?”

You do not need to know the answer. You have only to hold the question in mind and then do something, anything. 

Something helpful is to affirm that you have inner resources and wisdom, creativity and problem solving ability beyond your conscious awareness. You have an internal guidance system, your personal GPS, that gives you hunches, and sets up synchronicities. I believe you have a spiritual guidance system as well. You can relieve stress by turning your predicament over to your internal and spiritual guidance with affirmative statements such as:

“There is a part of me that knows how to ____ and is doing so now.

There is a part of me that knows the next, right step to take and how to proceed. And that part is guiding me now with grace and ease.”

You can as did the character Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind shake your fist at heaven and make a vow that somehow you will never experience anything like this problem again. I prefer to yell at the beneficial heavenly forces:

“Turn this into a blessing!”

Glass may be half empty, but glass is still half full!

You may think that you have lost everything. But if you are alive, that is not true. Assess what you have left – friends or family, your health or important parts of it, intelligence, skills, creativity, problem solving ability, network of who to call for help, and your very life itself. Maybe you can find a scrap of humor – what we call black or dark humor – that which comes out of the depths of despair. For example, before this happened, did you want to de-clutter? Well, now you have done it! If you were thinking of moving, now you are going to! If you wanted to remodel, well now is the time!

Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb, phonograph, and many other things lost over half of the buildings in his West Orange, New Jersey laboratory after an explosion and resultant fire. Damages in 1914 reached seven million dollars, with only two million covered by insurance.

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Edison vowed, “Although I am over 67 years old, I‘ll start all over again tomorrow.”   

When a reporter asked him how he felt, he responded that there was value in a fire in that it lets you start again. Not only that, but in watching the fire, Edison was inspired to create a new invention.

within two days, Edison had also finalized design of a portable searchlight whose three million candlepower beam would be visible for miles. In the midst of the catastrophe, Edison had noticed how the firefighters were hampered by the loss of power and light.  He puzzled over the problem and came up  with the battery driven light source idea and design. At age 67, Edison’s pace of work and inventions had slowed, but they could hardly be described as declining years. Within six months, Edison was demonstrating his latest invention in a nearby park,  attracting curious onlookers who wondered where the bright light was coming from!  The old adage that “every cloud has a silver lining” certainly applies here.”

Many times our lives, job or relationships run the full distance and we reach a place where no more growth can made. It is time that change course. But sometimes we are lazy or stubborn and cling to what is safe known although it is a rut. Cataclysmic events sometimes come along to catapult us out of the rut and into unknown territory where we have no recourse but to reinvent ourselves and begin again. Hidden in the ruins is an opportunity to ask “where my soul want to take me?”

In an earlier blog entitled “Blessings in Disguise”, I provided examples of how a major loss can turn out to be a blessing. They can set us on another path – one that is more fulfilling or allows us to grow.

I am not making light of tragedy, or claiming that growth is the reason behind the loss or the justification for it. Nor am I advocating that you ‘buck up’, adopt a ‘stiff upper lip’ or deny your grief. What I am saying is that the only long-term constructive response to loss is to deliberately look for some good to come out of it, and to work to make it so both for yourself and others.

Focus on where you are going, on solution, to making your life or world better in some way. If you focus on what you had and lost, you will like Lot’s wife in the ancient Biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah, be consumed.

At every moment, you are creating your life story. What do you want your epitaph to read? 

“Here lies John Doe. He had everything and lost it all. Unable to move on, he became morose, angry and bitter, turning to drink for comfort. He died alone having alienated his remaining friends and family “.

Or ….

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Every challenge calls us to rise up and dig down deep inside to find the strength and courage to take action having no guarantees of success, no assurance that the ground will rise up to greet us as we take those first steps.

Courage is facing the fear and doing what is needed anyway. It is being knocked down and standing up again. We are called to trust that small voice within, and follow its subtle lead. If others have suffered as well, we are called to help. Together we are stronger.

Find a reason

Heroes are born on the front lines precisely because it is hard. Many never rise to the occasion, or they stumble and fall never to get back up. Working to overcome devastating loss is a daily choice assisted by a belief in oneself, or a belief that it is worth the effort.

It the Mama Bear that finds her strength to rescue her cubs, or the fireman that rushes into danger to save others. It is born from a belief that life is worth saving, that it is worth living, that there is much good and beauty in the world. A vision of that better world or a big enough reason mobilizes the will to start again.

Find your reason to rise and then rise again, and gather others around you to support your resolve.

Copyright 11/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

 

 

 

 

 

No Easy Answers

Personally, I get frustrated when people pontificate their personal beliefs as to why they think something ‘bad’ happens, not just to themselves, but generalized across the board to everyone. It doesn’t matter that the ‘bad’ thing is an injury, an illness, the breakup of a relationship or a job, a school shooting, terrorist attack or war. The reasons that led up to that may be as multiple as there are people.

Even if you get positive results by correcting what you think may be the reason, it remains a theory until your correction completely resolves the problem. Otherwise, it may only be a part of the picture. But just because it appears true for you in that specific instance, and even if it is helpful for you does not mean that it is true or going to prove beneficial for everyone

I have noted that the reasons cited as responsible for any particular problem change over time and over cultures. To me this proves that such explanations are beliefs or theories rather than truth. Some are more popular than others during a particular decade with particular groups – national, regional, ethnic, economic, educational, religious, or political subcultures. Some come straight out of the teaching of a particular movement, guru, book or even a fad. Popularity can never be a criteria for truth. 

For example, in the past, it was actively taught that bad genes were responsible for many diseases. But thanks to the work of biologist, Dr. Bruce Lipton, we now know that almost all given genes can be expressed in a number of different ways, and it is the environment (or the perception of it) that determines whether a specific gene with that disease as one of many possibilities will ever express itself in that way.

Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer, MD proved that specific unexpected, emotional shocks are responsible for specific diseases developing in particular parts of the body at the specific point in time when such shocks occurred. So instead of the person creating the illness, they didn’t have the emotional or other resources at the time to prevent it because they didn’t know how to handle something very upsetting happening outside of them, not of their own creation.

It’s very popular in the New Age Movement to think that you attract or create everything that happens to you. This is more helpful, perhaps, than thinking that you are victim, or that it is God’s will and that you just have to suffer instead of taking active measures to change things. But if you are creating your reality, what about the possibility that  everyone else is doing so at the same time, and that these various creations are crossing paths? If according to a theory that everyone is interconnected, what you do effects me and vice versa. 

Example:

Perhaps you were hit by a car as crossing the road. Perhaps the hospitalization gives you time to reconsider your life and it’s direction, your relationships, what’s important, etc. That can lead to important changes. Maybe you become more appreciative of others. Perhaps you have to learn patience, tolerance, and compassion for others who also suffer. You may as a result become a better or more pleasant person. It may force you to grow. But does that mean that God or your soul set it up, or that it was destined to happen as a part of your life script? Maybe yes, but maybe no.

Such introspection and positive changes might be your chosen response to the situation, not the reason for it.

You could have responded by becoming angry, hostile to caretakers, impatient, and, consequently, destroying your relationships. You could have become a worse, not better person.

Perhaps the accident teaches you to remember to look both ways before crossing the street, or to not burn the candle at both ends so that you can stay alert to potential danger. Maybe you learn that you need to focus on what you are doing, or to resolve that issue that is disturbing your sleep. Maybe you should not be trying to use the cell phone or text when entering the intersection.

On the other hand, maybe the driver needs also to keep his eyes on the road instead of trying to text as well. Maybe he needs to not burn the candle at both ends, or not drink before driving. Maybe he needs to resolve those issues that are distracting him from paying attention. Maybe he needs an anger management class so that he slows down and is less aggressive while driving.

Maybe there needs to be a traffic light at that busy intersection but the mayor has been slow to address a dangerous situation already known to him.

But does any of this mean that God or the universe set it up, or that you volunteered to get hit so that other people would learn?

You get my point.

That being said,

  • if there is a reason (and there may be) and you do not get it,
  • if there is something for you to learn (and there probably is) , and you do not,
  • if it was intended for you to grow, and you don’t,

my belief is that you will get another opportunity to do so later. In my experience, the universe comes in with a 2 X 4 next time.

Physicist Tom Campbell, author of My Big Toe has a theory, which while very interesting, cannot be reduced to the cause for all problems:

If a particular occurrence is determined to be an effective learning opportunity for someone or everyone, the probability of it happening is increased. The system is designed to automatically deliver timely custom-fit individual learning opportunities — the presentation of such opportunities to individuals or groups is part of the feedback one receives relative to the choices one makes. Because the point of the system is to overcome fear (about you – high entropy) and replace it with love (about others – low entropy), if you have fear, the feedback system will manifest that fear in PMR [physical reality] to force you to deal with it (learn) or suffer the consequences.”

Yes, I believe things happen for a reason or multiple ones, but such may be more complicated or different than what you think. The causation may be unknowable. Hence, I advise being open minded to other explanations until you fully resolve the issue. And still the answers might be elusive or incomplete. You may get results without understanding why. 

The reasons may be such a composite of the environment, the stress and or psychological milieu of multiple other people, the society and the times, so that they cannot be brought down to a single, simple explanation. It can be similar to a recipe – a little of this, a little of that, add in other people, stir it up, wait awhile. The buildup can take lifetimes. The causes can be multigenerational. 

In short, I don’t believe in easy answers.

Asking ‘why’, then has only marginal value.

Should you ask it? Of course, because you might well find answers. But also consider that you may be either wrong or incomplete in your analysis. The reasons why might be multiple. Leave room  in your mind to be open to additional possibilities that might help. 

After asking “why did this happen”, ask:

  1. What positive learning can I gain from this?
  2. What do I want to do to make things better moving forward?
  3. How can I turn this into a blessing for me or someone else?

 

Copyright 9/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com areincluded with the content.

Releasing Anger Example

Applying what you know (or think you do!)

This is a rewrite of an article originally written and posted July 9, 2017

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The bad news is that when you write a book on anything, especially mine entitled Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone, the time of sustained focus required to write a book may bring about an experience to apply what you know (or think you do).

(Don’t you just love the Law of Attraction!)

The good news is that you do know (or should know) something to harness that energy constructively and then move it out of your system more quickly than you did in the past.

Think of it as the universe giving you AN EXAM. 

Here is an OPPORTUNITY to prove:

  • Do you know what you are talking about?
  • Or have you just been spouting nice sounding platitudes, airy-fairy nothings, intellectual but useless, impractical, untested, unproven ideas and information? 
  • Do your techniques actually work and make a positive difference?
  • Is there more yet to learn?
  • How can you set things up to avoid similar problems in the future?

So on June 29, 2017, a tenant, as she was moving out of my house, left water running in the upstairs bathroom. Gallons of water poured down from the second floor to the first floor living room, and down to the basement below. Rugs including a large Oriental, a mattress, books, furniture and other things got wet. Almost half of the living room ceiling had to be replaced, and as repairs were later made, drywall dust was everywhere. Most everything  had to be boxed up and moved out of the living room along with the furniture.

Likewise, two basement rooms were disrupted in order to mop up the water and get things out of harm’s way. So not only was my living room unusable for more than a month but so was the dining room and hall, and those two basement rooms as well. 

Immediately taking a long view of the problem, I knew that regardless of how much time, energy, work and out-of pocket expense would be involved, regardless of the bad timing and other demands upon me both health wise and financially, the problem would be eventually fixed, and the house would be restored to it’s former beauty. In other words, the problem was temporary. That tenant is now fully gone from my house, and I have a new, wonderful person living here. I had workmen who would help me clean up the mess.

fullsizeoutput_2cI knew that I needed to harness the anger into constructive action. So I called the appropriate people to get the help and advice I needed, and start and supervise the work.

In the meantime, I did a lot of the Infinite Intelligence Process that I wrote about in my book Accessing More to both dump stress and access my internal guidance and wisdom within.

I did EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), dowsing for emotional healing, and meditation because I did not want the anger to poison me or cause my health to further deteriorate. Plus, I wanted any and all possible contributory factors resolved.

I also did not want to project my anger back to my former tenant as it would then be a curse on her head. Because I believe that we are all connected, the corollary is that what I send out comes back to me.

To help shift my attention, I focused on what I had to be grateful for. What was left? What was good? 

  • Well, certainly the damage could have been much worse.
    • Luckily, I was only away from the house for an hour. Many other precious items in my living room and basement were not ruined even if some got wet, but would have been otherwise.
  • Help was immediately available. 
    • Two farm workers were here that day who immediately came in and helped move furniture, mop up the water, take the worst of the ceiling down, and set up fans to dry everything out to lessen the chance of mold.
    • I quickly located and hired a drywall laborer to reinstall new sheetrock and to paint.
    • A friend put me in touch with a cleaning lady who came after the ceiling was repaired. She helped me take down, wash and rehang all curtains in the living and dining room, wash, dust and vacuum everything on the ground floor and upstairs hallway. The net result was that I ended up with a much cleaner house.
    • My insurance agent came quickly, and although I did not file a claim for various reasons, I got the information I needed. 

Throughout the process, I asked myself:

  • What could I learn and how could I grow from this experience?
  • How I could prevent something like this happening in the future?
  • What I might have done differently that might have prevented it?

In other words, I was actively looking to pull a blessing out of the experience. 

To get all my anger and everything off of my chest I wrote a letter to my tenant. But after writing and rewriting it, I read it to a close friend who is also a lawyer for her input. What upset me most was that my tenant took no responsibility for her actions. Instead she was just blaming me. I felt it necessary that she understand the ramifications of her negligence so she be more careful elsewhere. This stopped the imaginary conversations of what I wished I said to her from continuing to loop in my head.

I learned long ago that:

  1. writing letters that you do not send acts as if you did. It allows you to get everything off of your chest as if you really did say what you wanted to say to them.
  2. pause before sending anything in writing, and then only if you must. Less is better. The written word lasts forever, where spoken ones are quickly forgotten.
  3. Groaning over damage done and what cannot therefore be changed (what’s done is done) is a waste of precious energy. You need to conserve that energy in order to stay healthy and to address the problem.
  4. Complaining to people who cannot help you is an immediate, very short term vent, but counterproductive otherwise.

In fact, complaining or venting beyond the immediate time frame can just be a

  • ploy for sympathy as the ‘victim‘.
  • It can be revenge by getting other people to hate your adversary as well.
  • It can be a substitute for any real action–an excuse not to do anything.
  • It can be justification for your own mistakes and
  • avoidance of any responsibility for what happened, and
  • avoidance of the need to change personally.

Best to talk only to those that can offer some good information and advice while remaining detached emotionally from your issue. And then listen with an open mind.

Only clear eyed, detached processing of everything that happened and why without jumping to attaching blame is helpful. Then accept what can not be changed, create an action plan, and get to work immediately. As you see progress, the quicker your rage will die down.

Personally, I would have loved to had someone just hold me. But since I don’t have a partner, I grabbed a cat and snuggled with him. I sat with my piggies. I hugged my dogs. I looked up at the sky. I picked up and talked to the toads. I noticed some of the abundant sweetness that is on my farm. I remembered that I am loved, that I have meaning and purpose in this world, that this is a beautiful place, and I am choosing to be alive and present. 

At other times and places, I may have made love, watched funny movies, gone dancing or done something nice with friends just to discharge energy and regroup. But what is important is that you actively do something.

There is always something still left to enjoy and appreciate—even a memory to lift your spirit. 

  • Did I pass? I think so.
  • Will I do things differently in future? Absolutely!
  • Will I forget the lessons? No.
  • Can what I learned help someone else? Yes, I know so.

Copyright 8/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

Blessings in Disguise

All of us can probably think of things like romances, houses, jobs, relocations and more that seemed great at the beginning, but then proved not so great. Maybe even after the luster wore off, we may have hung in there because of our investment in time and money, or not wanting to ‘rock the boat’,  security, or because ‘the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.’ Perhaps we tried to hang on because of embarrassment, or not wanting to admit that we were wrong or made a mistake.

We probably also know of those sudden change of fortune — breakups, job or business losses, disappointments or rejections — that seemed to be so horrible at the time, but which led eventually to something much better, and to much needed growth. 

We never know how things will turn out

There is an oft told Sufi story about a farmer whose son found a wild horse. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed, “that your son has this new horse!” “Maybe yes, and maybe no,” said the farmer.

Then the son as he was ‘breaking’ this horse, was thrown off it’s back and broke his leg. “How awful,” said the neighbors, “that your son broke his leg.” Again, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, and maybe no.” 

Then war came to the region and all the young men in the village were rounded up to go into battle. “How wonderful,” said the neighbors, “that your son doesn’t have to go to war.” And once again, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, and maybe no.” 

A true story

My friend, Nelson was told by his boss on a Friday to take his department of 40 people out to lunch and deliver the bad news that because of the Japanese buyout of their firm, that the entire department was being let go.

So after lunch, the security guards walked everyone back to their desk to pick up a 2-week severance check and their personal items before being escorted out the door.

On Friday, they were all in shock and thinking it was something terrible that just happened to them. But on Tuesday, all those not dismissed were dead because they worked on the very floor of one of the Twin Towers in Lower Manhattan where one of the planes came through. The date was 9/11.

Sometimes what looks like the worst thing that could have happened to you turns out to be the best thing that could have happened!

 

Perhaps we can acknowledge that the job, business, home or relationship we lost had it’s downsides. There may have been things about it that we didn’t like, that we barely tolerated, that were highly stressful, that hemmed us in, that limited our ability to grow or explore as we grew. We may recognize that what we had and once wanted was no longer so, and that we were moving, or about to move, or needed to move in a different direction. 

Sometimes, what we lost might have been okay or even good while it lasted, but sudden events caused us to move on to something that was even better and more fulfilling. It might have opened up many new experiences, and to explore other parts of ourselves in wonderful ways that otherwise would not have happened.

Another true story

A couple living in California lost their home and all of their possessions in one of the wild fires that came through their canyon. Totally stressed and not knowing what to do next, they left their jobs, and decided to take six months off while they considered their options.

Deciding to buy and move into a small RV, they started wandering the many national parks. They enjoyed it so much that they started writing a blog, and then went on the speaking circuit to motorhome enthusiasts discussing various aspects of living in a motorhome full time, nice places to visits, and how to make money on the road. It became their new livelihood. They were very happy in their new life and considered the house fire a blessing.

I followed them for a few years while I was doing a small bit of the same after a divorce. 

And another true story

A friend of mine in Ohio was woken up by her cat who would just not let her spend a minute more in bed. As she came into consciousness, she smelled smoke. And indeed, the house was on fire. Both she and the cat got out safely. Luckily, the kids had already gone to school and her husband was at work.

The back of this 19th century farm house burnt down. But the rest of the entire house and all the possessions were either soaked and destroyed from water from the firemen’s hoses, or saturated with smoke. All the clothes, rugs, upholstery, and many other belongings had to be trashed. 

The family had a trailer brought onto the property as they too decided what to do next. They knew that they wanted to stay there and rebuild as they had friends and roots. But how to rebuild? 

My friend gave everyone a sheet of paper. She, her husband and each of the three kids all wrote out their wish list for a ‘dream house’, ideal bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, etc.

Knowing their budget from the insurance, they devised plans on the most important wish list items. The kids got their own bedrooms, and a bath with double sinks and a shower. My friend got a large working area of the kitchen with a large center island open to a dining area of the kitchen big enough for company. She wanted and got a sewing room. Her husband got a comfortable t.v. room and a recliner. 

In short, they end up with a wonderful, beautiful, totally renovated and updated ‘new’ house, along with new clothes, new furniture that they couldn’t have afforded ANY OTHER WAY!

My story

More than two decades ago, I was praying to fulfill my purpose or mission in life. Immediately, my marriage fell apart. One day my husband said that he didn’t know if he wanted to be married anymore. I was devastated. Yes, I knew we had problems, but I am one that hangs in there always hoping that things will improve even though I was also not satisfied in the relationship. 

Soon after I had a dream about a dilapidated but once beautiful house. It needed tons of work – work that was daunting. Everything had to be renovated even though the house ‘bones’ were good. I was so discouraged and not sure that I was really wanted to go through what it would require to be beautiful again. It could be better for sure, but was it going to be worth it?  Would enough get done so that I would be happy with it?

Then I found out that he was being unfaithful. That was the final straw and was the one thing that would allow me permission to file for divorce. Indeed, it pushed me to do so and move on with my life. And it turned out to be the best possible thing that could have happened. Today, I am grateful for his bad behavior, because it freed me from a toxic situation full of constant lies and distrust. 

Conclusion

While like the Sufi farmer, we may not know where life is leading us when hit with what appears to be a sudden loss of good fortune. But we can make a decision that we are going to learn from and grow through it. And that one way or another, we are going to make these sudden changes work for us – even bless us and others.

As I have written about in previous blog articles, you might ask:

  • If it could work, how might it work?
  • If something good can come out of this, what might that be?
  • How can I turn this into an opportunity? 
  • How can I grow through this experience?
  • What can I learn from this that not only helps me, but helps someone else?

In short:

  • How can I turn this into a blessing?

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FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: http://www.roxannelouise.com or call 434-263-4337

Copyright 6/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

 

 

 

What if illness was a choice?

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TO BE OR NOT TO BE — SICK 

Putting forth the premise that illness is a choice may sound harsh. But think about it this way:

Long before you got sick, you were entrenched for years in hundreds of little habits–habits of eating, exercise, work, lifestyle, smoking, drinking, and habits of how you handled stress, conflict and negative emotions. Even your thinking has been largely a matter of habit. And because thoughts determine emotions, which in turn create different biological chemicals in your body, emotional states and body chemistry are the results of thoughts, beliefs, judgements, and habits of mind. And that involves choice – both conscious and unconscious.

Regardless of what habits or beliefs were installed in childhood by family or culture, upon reaching adulthood, it becomes a choice to continue those habits and to hold those beliefs without question, or not. It comes down to whether they work for you or whether negative consequences appear that call for change.

Choices become habits, and habits create destiny

All habits come about through little decisions made again and again, perhaps multiple times daily until they become an automatic program that starts to run your life. Allowing thoughts to continually be held in mind is a choice, and this choice then becomes part of your attitude and personality [see work of biologist Bruce Lipton, Ph.D.]. 

Further, your beliefs, judgments, and interpretations of events and experiences collect evidence to prove you right. Left unchallenged (a choice), they will either attract more similar experiences or you will tend to feel and react as if they were similar even though they were not.

These mental habits will guarantee what emotional and physical consequences you experience both immediate and long term including illness. For example, if you interpret a situation as ‘this is scary’, you will activate the stress hormone of cortisol, which shuts off the biological functions of growth, digestion, repair and immune functioning. Whereas if you interpret the very same event as ‘this is exciting’, ‘this is an opportunity’, or ‘what a fun challenge’, your internal chemistry will be very different.

Routinely interpreting what is happening around you as threatening will over time damage your health.  However, you can choose to interpret or judge a situation differently, to react differently. Following a decision to do so, and then practicing over time to retrain your mind, might make the difference you need to heal.

Consequences

So there are consequences to all of your choices and the habits they become. And these consequences include your health, mental and emotional well-being, or lack of same.

However, at the time that the choices were made, you may have been unaware of those consequences or you lived in denial. After all, when you picked up your first cigarette were you really paying attention to the health risks? Did you think that you were invincible? Did you think you could outrun the bullet, and that the health warnings didn’t apply to you? Did you just figure on having just a few, and quitting tomorrow? Were you bargaining, “please, God, just let me have this one ___ (cigarette/drink/ice cream sunday) and then I’ll stop and be good!

Now, years later you may become aware that it has come time to pay the piper. What do you do when you don’t like the negative consequences of your choices? How do you unravel bad habits, bad decisions, limiting beliefs or judgments for which you are now paying dearly?

Making different choices

Healing requires change, and change can be scary.

If a health problem is a result of long standing habits and patterns, healing will always require changing those habits and patterns. The necessary changes may be all pervasive, even drastic, and can be just as scary as the illness itself.  Carolyn Myss in Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, says that

“many of us are almost as afraid of healing as we are of illness.”2 

Even though a person may be aware of the risks, and their doctor may have recommended dietary, habit or lifestyle changes over the years,

only when there is a clear cause and effect relationship of certain habits and choices with the negative consequences do most people begin to make even the smallest, yet alone the big changes, that may be necessary.

This follows the Law of Inertia, a body at rest tends to stay at rest, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion.

It takes more energy to shift direction than to continue to do what you have always done.

And it will take dedication on a daily basis to overcome the years of negative programming. However, each day you choose to practice new habits, it will gain in power.

How committed are you to heal?

Are you willing to do whatever it takes? And if you aren’t, can we then say that you are choosing to remain sick? Myss asks the following:

“If healing required moving to another part of the country, changing your attitudes toward others and yourself, changing all your physical habits, such as diet and exercise, being alone for a long period of time, or going on a retreat to confront your shadow, experiencing illness as a way of healing mentally, emotionally and spiritually, or losing everything familiar to you — home, spouse, job–would you do it?” 3

John Harrison, MD, in Love Your Disease–It’s Keeping You Healthy says that

Anybody prepared to make fearless decisions in their best interests will avoid all major illness and most minor ones as well.”

Illness provides benefits called secondary gains

There may be positive payoffs to being sick. For example, illness may get you out of a job, activity, situation, relationship, or a responsibility that you hate. It can provide an excuse not to do, or not to go where you don’t want, or to do something that you do, for example, to stay home and watch television. It may provide financial awards, temporary or ongoing income, medical benefits, and time off from work. [See article “Secondary Gain – a Gain from Pain”

Illness may get people off your back. It may provide an excuse, and special considerations or privileges such as handicapped parking. It may allow you to avoid responsibility for yourself or others. It may cast the die–letting the disease or condition make a decision for you when you are too indecisive or weak to do it on your own.

Illness may pull a family or relationship together, or provide a way to check on the feelings of others. It may let others know that you need them, providing them with an important role, and helping them to feel good about themself for helping you. Illness can be a way to get people to come to visit, and to obtain desired attention, emotional assistance, concern, sympathy, demonstrations of caring or love. It can be a way to get people to do things for you, even getting waited on hand and foot as in hospitalization. Finally, a health problem can be a form of self-punishment, a way to atone or pay yourself back for guilty thoughts, feelings, behavior.

Because of all of the above, a person on an unconscious level may choose to become ill, or to do things that make him liable to get sick. Once sick he may obstruct healing, or do all the wrong things such as a diabetic eating sweets, to sabotage getting better. 

As Myss says, 

Illness can…become a powerful way to get attention you might not otherwise receive”, and “as a form of leverage, illness can seem almost attractive.”

Benefits to illness can be secondary or primary to the condition. They can be conscious or unconscious (below the level of awareness). As in which came first, the chicken or the egg, did the person get sick in order to get his needs met? Or did he get sick as a result of bad habits or some other reason, and then notice that there were some payoffs in being ill?

Harrison says that

The person is needy, rather than sick….People get ill to get what they want… People do not get what they want…so they become ill.”5

Basic needs,  such as attention, solitude, caring, must be met one way or the other. And if illness is providing those needs, the person must feel secure in meeting those same needs, just as easily as before, but now in a healthy, constructive way. Otherwise, he will resist getting well, or he will get sick again to get his needs met.

A Wake Up Call + Hope

To break the negative cycle, both the pain of the illness needs to be great enough for the person to be motivated to change, and the person must have hope that making changes will make a positive difference in his health.

Without hope or positive expectancy, why bother to even try?

Harrison further states that

“Disease is both self-created and self-cured…. Illness is the physical and psychological result of unresolved needs, not a malfunction of a machine caused by unknown or external factors….We give ourselves illnesses in order to ‘take care of ourselves’ psychologically.”

Harrison and Stephen Parkhill, author of Answer Cancer, refer to an unspoken contract between doctor and patient that says the following. The doctor, in exchange for money, will remove unpleasant symptoms for the patient without upsetting the patient’s chosen lifestyle or habits, attitudes or feelings, judgments or beliefs. The doctor will participate in the illusion that the patient is a victim and not responsible for either the disease or its removal and return to health. The doctor will take over responsibility for the patient’s health and all decisions relevant to his health care.

Harrison puts it this way:

“I have consulted you to have my need recognized, my suffering validated, my pain removed and my disease retained. In return, I will support you financially and give you status commensurate with the powers I ask you to exercise.”6 

As Harrison further states,

“It’s this need to be taken care of by people more powerful than ourselves that leads us into taking some decisions that are damaging to us in the long term.”

This agreement between doctor and patient may eradicate symptoms, but miss the cure. It has all the dysfunctional psychodynamics of the Victim-Rescuer-Persecutor Triangle7 –the patient being the Victim, the doctor/therapist being the Rescuer, and the disease/condition being the Persecutor. Roles can switch if compliance in the game is unsatisfactory.

Patients need to get out of the game and take back responsibility for their illness, and take back their power to heal. But in doing so, they need to understand the role that not just their physical habits and lifestyle play, but the all important component of their thoughts and emotions.

What emotional states cause illness?

Parkhill believes that ailments in general come from an unconscious need for self-punishment, self-mutilation, or limitation. He also feels that guilt, blame, criticism, fears, such as the fear of abandonment, or the fear of not surviving because essential needs are not well met, play a role.

To his list, I would add that many other emotions and internal conflicts could be involved depending upon the illness and where it is located. German New Medicine outlines a number of emotional shocks that if are not quickly resolved lead to very specific diseases. [See article “German New Medicine & the Mind-Body Connection”]

Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life, thinks that thoughts of being not good enough, self-hatred or criticism, resentment and guilt are the most destructive to our health. Conversely, she feels that forgiveness, self-acceptance, love and releasing the past are key for healing.

Unraveling Bad Choices and Making Better Ones

Postulating that illness is a choice, even if it is an unconscious one, implies that there is a different choice or choices that could potentially be made that would leading to a different outcome–one of health, vitality, and overall well-being. Once clear about the negative consequences of all of your habits and patterns, you may be motivated to change. This will include making changes in your thinking, beliefs, attitude, how you deal with stress, as well as diet, lifestyle. 

Make a commitment to take positive action. Start with making the most obvious and the most do-able changes, and the changes most likely to make the most difference.

There are many ways of tackling the various mental, emotional and habit components.

  • Self-hypnosis really helps to focus on priorities, increase motivation to do what you need to do, change negative thinking, and to release stress. 

The modalities or techniques listed below are also invaluable in releasing stress, self-sabotage, and healing issues. Dowsing, Emotion Code, Hypnosis, and NLP have the additional benefit of being able to locate the source/s of the problem.

  • Thought Stopping and Switching 
  • Emotional Freedom Technique
  • Emotion Code
  • Tapas Acupressure Technique 
  • Hypnosis
  • Neural Linguistic Programming 
  • Pendulum Dowsing 
  • my own Infinite Intelligence Process8 [see article “Accessing More”] 
  • Through hypnosis or Time Line Therapy you can go back in time to a choice point and make a healthier, more constructive choice that leads to health. I like the unconscious healing modality that I call “Change Decision”9 that taught to me by A.L Ward, but those of other hypnosis mentors such as E. Arthur Winkler or Walter Sichort and his protege James Ramey, who did something similar.
  • Next, you can imagine traveling into the future to a time when the problem has been satisfactorily resolved, find out how that was done, and bring that solution back to the present moment along with the resources to do it. This is called Future Pace, or Crystal Ball, or Magic Wand — all hypnosis and NLP techniques.
  • Or again with hypnosis, you can imagine going into a parallel universe in order to change direction to an alternate reality more of your liking. Go the station platform and change trains.

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FOOTNOTES:

1. First published in 5/2007

2. Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, page i x.

3. Ibid, page 138-139.

4. John Harrison, M.D., Love Your Disease, page 51

5. page 46-7

6. Love Your Disease, page 59

7. The Victim-Rescuer-Persecutor Triangle is typically seen with alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers, and many of the chronically ill. The Victim uses his problem to manipulate and control others into taking over responsibility for him, bailing him out of problems, and meeting his emotional and perhaps financial needs. The Rescuer initially feels good to be of help, but later comes to feel as if he, himself, is being victimized by the very person he is trying to help, who has takes on the role of Persecutor. Rescuers are caught in this trap because they do not feel good about themselves unless they are helping those they consider more unfortunate than they. Most people in the helping profession as well as nurses and others in the healing arts start out as Rescuers. Hence, they are vulnerable to being used and abused by others. Awareness helps, but the biggest cure for this is high self-esteem and healthy boundaries.

8. ACCESSING MORE – Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process by Roxanne Louise

9. Change Decision is included in the Visualization Chapter of my book, Your Unlimited Potential, a complete self-hypnosis course and introduction to professional hypnotherapy.

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“Illness as Choice ?” Copyright 7/2015 was then expanded and rewritten 6/2018 as “What if illness were a choice?” by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: http://www.roxannelouise.com or call 434-263-4337

 

 

When someone says there is ‘no cure’

The Medical Paradigm

Anyone graduating from the very long and arduous training in medical school has been deeply indoctrinated into a very distinctive belief system, attitudes and approach to ill health, and then from that model on how to diagnose and treat illness in very prescribed ways. Historically, allopathic medicine seems to focus more on physical symptoms and on what can be seen under a microscope or on an X-ray, for example, a pathogen or broken bone, rather than on the multitude of non-physical factors that are also involved or even the precipitating or main cause. 

As in the children’s Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme, physicians are under pressure to put their patients back together again after a problem has occurred rather than increasing their vitality and reducing their vulnerability from getting sick in the first place. In that focus on disease instead of wellness, it is possible that the medical model is missing many more possible cures as well as a fuller understanding of the underlying dynamics.

Allopathic treatment may include suppression of physical symptoms without actually finding and correcting underlying issues. And while alleviation of symptoms can make a huge difference in someone’s quality of life, removal or healing of the root cause (or group of causative agents as there can be multiple things involved) means examining and addressing all imbalances in a person’s life (body, mind and spirit).

Finding and resolving the underlying problem/s means considering that the many other factors that cause ill health – stress and emotional things like loneliness, grief, anger, loss of support or connection, worry, lack of meaning and purpose – are likewise vitally important. Then there are habits, lifestyle, relationships, nutrition, exercise, toxicity, biological conflicts, lack of spiritual connection, and manmade or naturally occurring pathological energies such as EMF, radiation, and even underground crossing water veins, to be considered. Even if pathogens are involved, such pathogens may have been dormant until these other factors made it possible for them to take hold in a person’s body. Such factors may unless dealt with, prevent a patient from healing now despite otherwise good medical care.

Allopathic medicine does not take into consideration other health care approaches that have been successfully practiced in the world for centuries such as herbal medicine, shamanism, Ayurveda, or Chinese Medicine, to mention a few. The problem is not that physicians have a very structured and specific approach to treating disease, but that they vigorously claim through various legal channels to be the only profession with the right and the expertise to do so.

All of these other highly relevant factors mentioned are outside the realm of medical knowledge and treatment.  Therefore, for anyone to be correct in stating that there is ‘no cure’, they would have to be an expert or at least highly knowledgable in all these other factors and healing modalities – an impossible task. The only true and accurate statement can be “allopathic medicine does not have a cure for this condition at this time.” 

For every illness, for every health condition that was said to be impossible to cure,  correct or heal, even from death itself, there is someone has proven such claim wrong. Whether you listen to Dr. Eben Alexander, Anita Moorjani, both of whom were clinically dead and came back to life and healed, or Dr. Joe Dispenza who had an ‘impossible to heal’ spinal fracture from being run over and yet went back to his chiropractic practice in just two weeks, these true stories make you realize there is always hope. If there is someone who healed when told it was impossible, why not you? What did they do, or not do, that made their healing possible? Find out and duplicate this for yourself.

Why it is vital to not destroy someone’s hope

Forgive me if I rant a moment. As a hypnotherapist, I am trained in the power of suggestion, and the power of words to help or hurt, even kill. By eliminating hope, a person may give up and not do anything to help themselves even with basic self-care. Worse yet, if they believe that they will never ____, they may put themselves out of their own misery through suicide or self-destructive behaviors such as heavy drinking or drugs that are the slower versions of the same thing.

If a patient believes the doctor is the authority on his health condition, he is preconditioned to internalize into his unconscious mind whatever that doctor says about him and how he says it. Such patient will also be alert to picking unverbalized cues (body signals, tone of voice) of what that doctor believes about his chances.

This is very important as the unconscious mind also controls all body functions including growth and repair, digestion, detoxification, hormonal balance, and the immune response. The raw emotions of receiving a negative diagnosis and prognosis will have a very real impact upon the patient making his situation better or worse depending upon how they are delivered.  

Further, when this trusted doctor then tells his patient that there is ‘no cure’, or that there is ‘nothing that can be done‘, such patient will not seek answers elsewhere even if answers and help already exist through other treatment modalities. He will be disempowered from possibly discovering the answers for himself  or the winning combination of things that might possibly have made his healing possible.

One of my friends and mentors was the late Michael Ellner. Michael was a hypnotherapist, and for many years, the Director of Heal Education AIDS Liaison in New York City. Michael gave his clientele hope. Michael through therapeutic intervention would take away the power that negative authority figures (such as their physicians) had in the client’s mind. Instead, Michael gave the client logical reasons why he should believe instead that he could do something to help himself. Only by giving hope did his clients gain the determination to then work with nutrition, get off recreational drugs, stop risky sexual behaviors, get honest about their sexual orientation with their families, work on their emotional issues, start to meditate or develop a spiritual practice, etc. As a result, Michael witnessed many men who reversed their AIDS, and became healthier than at any time in their life, and living decades longer. When they healed their life, their bodies tended to follow. Louise Hay has said the same thing.

So what does it really mean when the doctor says that there is ‘no cure’ ?

The truth is that whenever a doctor says that there is no cure it should be translated more accurately for the layman as:

  • “as far as I know” . (Therefore, you have to seek out other sources. He is not the person to help you.)
  • “in my opinion” (Hence, we say to seek a second or third medical ‘opinion’.)
  • “according to the allopathic model and only using the allopathic methods” (Allopathic methods by themselves are not successful with this condition. Therefore, you must  seek other treatments or put together your own healing prescription.)
  • “surgery and prescription drugs alone cannot cure it”. (But maybe nutrition or herbs or homeopathy or ____ can do so, or do so in combination with allopathic methods.)
  • “yet!” (Discoveries are being made all the time. In fact, many discoveries such as those for various forms of cancer have been discovered, but have been suppressed in this country although they may be used successfully elsewhere.)
  • “I don’t want to admit that I can’t fix it, so I am just going to say it can’t be fixed”

Physicians are not immune from their egos or their professional bias. Such bias is influenced by the pharmaceutical industry that largely funds medical schools, medical research, and provides direct financial kickbacks for chemotherapy and an aggressive vaccination schedule. It also provides indirect funding through perks such as free trips to conferences in plush resort settings. The pharmaceutical reps form a relationship with the physicians (and may visit them more often than their own grandchildren). The pharmaceutical industry is also the largest advertiser for media. And no one wants to kill the golden goose.

Professional arrogance can be just another form of modern tribal thinking – my tribe is better than your tribe (maybe because I sweated longer, harder and paid more to be admitted into the inner sanctum). My medical god is better and more powerful than your herbal or nutritional god. Personal beliefs, ego, or just a heavy workload can prevent a physician taking a serious look into the alternate opinions, viewpoints and approaches even within the medical profession. 

The power of belief and emotion to heal or to kill

Witch doctors have historically harnessed the power of belief and emotion to heal (the placebo response) and to kill (the nocebo response). The power to heal through suggestion is something that should be harnessed, not ridiculed. And the power to hurt or kill should be fully understood and avoided at all costs. Dr. Deepak Chopra has said “more people die of diagnosis than the disease.” To destroy a person’s hope and even worse to discourage a patient from investigating other modalities in an attempt to heal, is, in my opinion, unconsciousible.

[For more information on the placebo or nocebo response, see “Understanding Placebo’s Opposite – The Nocebo Effect”.]

How ‘Scope of Practice’ enters into the equation

Allopathic physicians through their distinctive attitudes, skills, and knowledge address physical illness within a very defined range that collectively is called their “scope of practice”. Each profession possessing a license to practice that profession has vigorously protected their ‘turf’ against the encroachment of other professions that could potentially compete with them. While no doubt, the medical establishment may have passionate opinions of protecting the lives of patients from snake oil salesmen, some of this is simply guarding their monopoly from intrusion in the marketplace. 

In the United States,  a group called The Scope of Practice Partnership (SOPP) exists as “a collaborative effort of the American Medical Association, American Osteopathic Association (AOA), national medical societies, state medical associations and state osteopathic medical associations that focuses the resources of organized medicine to oppose scope of practice expansions by non-physician providers that threaten the health and safety of patients….This goal is accomplished through a combination of legislative activities; regulatory activities; judicial advocacy; and programs of information, research and education. The AMA provides staff to manage the operation of the SOPP.”

For years, physicians were able to successfully prevent chiropractors, naturopaths, psychologists, and hypnotherapists from practicing. Each separate profession had had to fight for their right to exist. As I was very active in fighting the New Jersey Psychological Board of Examiners from trying to put hypnotherapists out of business in the 1990’s, I know a lot of  how this works. As said, this is strictly a turf war – professional arrogance linked to threat of losing a lucrative revenue stream.

Upcoming Workshops

At the American Society of Dowsers Conference taking place at the State University of New York (SUNY) in New Paltz, New York, I will be giving a full day Workshop “Locating & Clearing the Mental/Emotional Drivers of Disease” on Wednesday, 6/13. See www.dowsers.org.

At the West Coast Dowsers Conference, University of California, Santa Cruz, I will be giving a full day Workshop “Therapeutic Dowsing & Telepathic Healing – Dowsing for Mental & Emotional Issues” on Tuesday, 7/3.  See http://www.dowserswestcoast.org

Lastly, at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention in Marlborough, Massachusetts, August 10-12, I will be giving a shorter Workshop: “Hypnosis For Mind-Body Healing—Finding And Eliminating The Mental And Emotional Drivers Of Disease”, and a Seminar “Pendulum Dowsing For Hypnotists—Powerful Investigative, Healing, and Business Tool!” ​See https://ngh.net

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

Upset as Opportunity

Fuming over what you don’t like and the people you hold responsible for it may let off steam, but it burns up your precious life force energy and it doesn’t change anything! 

I suggest that you as quickly as possible accept that what happened, and is now history. Fuming doesn’t change history. The question is

What do you want to do about it?

How can you use it constructively?

Can you turn it into a blessing?

As I have said in previous posts, deliberately choose to look for a way to turn every experience especially the upsetting ones into a blessing. This will happen if you grow, if you learn something positive, if you take constructive action on things that previously you neglected or let slide, and if you finally turn your attention to dealing with wounds and issues long past but never resolved.

When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, miracles of positive change can occur!

You can train yourself to use upset as a powerful

  • catalyst for healing yourself and
  • as motivation to create something better.

Here’s how.

Write the answers to the questions below. If you have trouble identifying them, brainstorm possible answers on paper and dowse them out. If you don’t know how to dowse, brainstorm anyway. Then close your eyes and ask yourself the question again. Or just write and write until you get to the core issue.

  • What’s happening that I don’t want?
  • What’s not happening that I do want?
  • What’s the key issue here?
  • What are my thoughts about what’s happening?
  • What are my emotions about it?
  • What do I want to happen instead?
  • What’s the essence of what I want?
  • What’s stopping me from getting it?
  • Is there another way to get the essence of what I want?
  • When were other times that something similar happened?
  • When was the earliest time that something similar to this happened?

Work your way through all of these questions, addressing them as you go.

Then ask some further questions:

  • How did I contribute in any way to what happened?
  • What positive steps can I make or what changes need to occur so this doesn’t happen again?
  • How can I improve my ____ (communication, follow-through, systems, etc.) so that my _____ (business, relationships) are actually better as a result of what happened?

Doing all of the above will move you forward.

Heal yourself rather than trying to change someone else!

Recently I spoke with someone who was upset because he had been unable to get someone else to change. He had tried talking to the person, but wasn’t getting anywhere. I suggested that he first identify and then address his own emotions and his thoughts around it before speaking to the person again so that they would not cause the person to tune him out.

In other words, if you are emotionally upset, you will make the other person defensive, and less likely to even consider changing their behavior and do what you want. You need to find a way to speak to the person from a neutral place, or better yet, from a place of common ground.

One way of starting that process is to detach your worth, your self-esteem from what someone else is doing. Each person acts out of who they are, not from who you are. And incidentally, people never change for you. They may moderate their behavior somewhat if the negative consequences are great enough. But they never change for you.

Eliminate the ‘shoulds and shouldn’ts’

Another initial step to reduce your upset is to eliminate the idea that people should or shouldn’t be any certain way or do anything according to your standards. Those self-righteous judgment calls are responsible for a great deal of stress. However, once you clarify the behavior you don’t want and the behavior you do want, you will be able to clearly communicate it to the other person.

As he labeled the other person as controlling, I suggested that he could turn this situation into a blessing if he could identify and then heal all similar experiences starting with the first time he was upset because of controlling behavior. In other words, this annoying current event might be viewed as positive by alerting him to a host of unresolved similar events festering in his unconscious not only causing him stress but setting up a negative repeating pattern.

My own experience

Years ago I was being constantly hit with the energy of jealousy. I could always tell when the conference brochures hit the mailboxes, because I could feel the red hot feverish flames blasting in my face, and it made me jittery and hard to focus. Once in giving a presentation of how and why to integrate Reiki with hypnosis, I could feel the arrows coming from 3 distinct locations in the room. So I asked the Reiki Masters present to stand, and guess what? They were sitting in the very same locations. These weren’t bad people, they just must have thought that they could or should have been the ones speaking on the topic I had chosen.

While I had previously worked diligently to heal my distress because of other people’s jealousy of me, it had not stopped the negative pattern until I dealt with the root cause.  As I thought about the first time this issue had occurred , I turned my attention to the lifelong problematic relationship with my sister that started in early childhood. Only after I healed that, did the negative pattern stop. I have not been affected since.

Whether any one is or has been jealous of me since, I don’t feel it anymore. I am not impacted. My energy is no longer drained.

Moral of the story:

Heal the root cause to stop the pattern.

Make positive changes going forward.

And if you do that, it will have been a blessing.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

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