Upset as Opportunity

Fuming over what you don’t like and the people you hold responsible for it may let off steam, but it burns up your precious life force energy and it doesn’t change anything! 

I suggest that you as quickly as possible accept that what happened, and is now history. Fuming doesn’t change history. The question is

What do you want to do about it?

How can you use it constructively?

Can you turn it into a blessing?

As I have said in previous posts, deliberately choose to look for a way to turn every experience especially the upsetting ones into a blessing. This will happen if you grow, if you learn something positive, if you take constructive action on things that previously you neglected or let slide, and if you finally turn your attention to dealing with wounds and issues long past but never resolved.

When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, miracles of positive change can occur!

You can train yourself to use upset as a powerful

  • catalyst for healing yourself and
  • as motivation to create something better.

Here’s how.

Write the answers to the questions below. If you have trouble identifying them, brainstorm possible answers on paper and dowse them out. If you don’t know how to dowse, brainstorm anyway. Then close your eyes and ask yourself the question again. Or just write and write until you get to the core issue.

  • What’s happening that I don’t want?
  • What’s not happening that I do want?
  • What’s the key issue here?
  • What are my thoughts about what’s happening?
  • What are my emotions about it?
  • What do I want to happen instead?
  • What’s the essence of what I want?
  • What’s stopping me from getting it?
  • Is there another way to get the essence of what I want?
  • When were other times that something similar happened?
  • When was the earliest time that something similar to this happened?

Work your way through all of these questions, addressing them as you go.

Then ask some further questions:

  • How did I contribute in any way to what happened?
  • What positive steps can I make or what changes need to occur so this doesn’t happen again?
  • How can I improve my ____ (communication, follow-through, systems, etc.) so that my _____ (business, relationships) are actually better as a result of what happened?

Doing all of the above will move you forward.

Heal yourself rather than trying to change someone else!

Recently I spoke with someone who was upset because he had been unable to get someone else to change. He had tried talking to the person, but wasn’t getting anywhere. I suggested that he first identify and then address his own emotions and his thoughts around it before speaking to the person again so that they would not cause the person to tune him out.

In other words, if you are emotionally upset, you will make the other person defensive, and less likely to even consider changing their behavior and do what you want. You need to find a way to speak to the person from a neutral place, or better yet, from a place of common ground.

One way of starting that process is to detach your worth, your self-esteem from what someone else is doing. Each person acts out of who they are, not from who you are. And incidentally, people never change for you. They may moderate their behavior somewhat if the negative consequences are great enough. But they never change for you.

Eliminate the ‘shoulds and shouldn’ts’

Another initial step to reduce your upset is to eliminate the idea that people should or shouldn’t be any certain way or do anything according to your standards. Those self-righteous judgment calls are responsible for a great deal of stress. However, once you clarify the behavior you don’t want and the behavior you do want, you will be able to clearly communicate it to the other person.

As he labeled the other person as controlling, I suggested that he could turn this situation into a blessing if he could identify and then heal all similar experiences starting with the first time he was upset because of controlling behavior. In other words, this annoying current event might be viewed as positive by alerting him to a host of unresolved similar events festering in his unconscious not only causing him stress but setting up a negative repeating pattern.

My own experience

Years ago I was being constantly hit with the energy of jealousy. I could always tell when the conference brochures hit the mailboxes, because I could feel the red hot feverish flames blasting in my face, and it made me jittery and hard to focus. Once in giving a presentation of how and why to integrate Reiki with hypnosis, I could feel the arrows coming from 3 distinct locations in the room. So I asked the Reiki Masters present to stand, and guess what? They were sitting in the very same locations. These weren’t bad people, they just must have thought that they could or should have been the ones speaking on the topic I had chosen.

While I had previously worked diligently to heal my distress because of other people’s jealousy of me, it had not stopped the negative pattern until I dealt with the root cause.  As I thought about the first time this issue had occurred , I turned my attention to the lifelong problematic relationship with my sister that started in early childhood. Only after I healed that, did the negative pattern stop. I have not been affected since.

Whether any one is or has been jealous of me since, I don’t feel it anymore. I am not impacted. My energy is no longer drained.

Moral of the story:

Heal the root cause to stop the pattern.

Make positive changes going forward.

And if you do that, it will have been a blessing.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

I AM…so happy and grateful…

“In the beginning was the word.” Genesis

Hypnotists understand the power that words have to powerfully impact upon your life. The most important words being “I am” followed by anything else. “I AM” has incredible creative power.

Hypnosis teaches that the subconscious mind, which controls all habits and automatic behaviors, is constantly listening to everything that you say. Through repetition, words program the subconscious, and that subconscious programming leads you to be inclined to do or not do, to notice or not, to just happen to be in the right time and place for whatever you have programmed into your inner mind to occur for better or worse.

Yet how often instead of deliberately helping yourself, you identify with the negative by saying anyway “I am ___ (sick, broke, tired, burnt out, overwhelmed)” etc. And even though I know better, I catch myself doing it too.

I have found a helpful antidote through the phrase 

“I AM so happy and grateful that ___.”

 

The moment I say that I am happy and grateful I notice that it truly starts to shift my mood. Then I follow with more statements, quickly listing a bunch of things that do, in fact, make me happy, or for which I am genuinely grateful. I start with statements that I honestly believe. In starting with the easy things, it sets up the right frame of mind for me then to shift gears on those areas that need help or in which I need to manifest a positive outcome. It is important, however, to state these other things in a way in which you can believe them. Saying something you think is impossible will only backfire. 

First, I start with anything is easily true for me:

“I AM so happy and grateful that it’s a beautiful day. 

“I AM so happy and grateful that the sun is shining.

“I AM so happy and grateful that the flowers are starting to bloom.

“I AM so happy and grateful to live in this beautiful place.

Then I make statements to shift my attitude in a positive way on a challenge I need to resolve:

“I AM so happy and grateful that I have reliable, capable help to ____ at a price I can easily afford.

“I AM so happy and grateful that I quickly attract the very best tenants into my property at ____ Street. 

Finally, I visualize it as done and soak up the good feelings of that happy completion.

Personal Story

Years ago I was sponsored to teach throughout India. On a day off I went to a botanical park. The cab driver dropped me off at the entrance and said that I should walk straight through the park and he would meet me at the exit. Fine.

So I walked through this delightful but huge gated park. When I had enough, I went out the exit upon which the gate locked behind me. However, there was no cab driver. So I had to walk all around the outside of the park back to the entrance and try again.

This time I saw a fork in the path, and took it. Sure enough, there was another exit, and out I went. Again the gate locked behind me, and, you guessed it – no cab driver. So for the second time I walked around the fence back to the entrance, again looking for yet another exit. Found it, and hooray – lots of cabs. Unfortunately, not mine. The cabbies said that my driver got tired of waiting and left. So, once more I walked around the perimeter back to the entrance whereupon they kind attendant who luckily spoke English called my hotel and sponsor.

While I was angry, tired, hot and thirsty, depressed, and just fed up, I gritted my teeth and focused on anything for which I could be grateful. “I’m glad I have feet. I’m grateful I can walk. I am glad to be here in India instead of Newark, New Jersey right now.”

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Upcoming Workshop 11/3 & Book

20170516_AccessingMoreCover

For the past few years, I have been teaching others how to tap into the wisdom within both to solve problems with ease and grace, and to relieve stress in minutes. I have put it into a greatly expanded 117 page manual entitled Accessing More — Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process. This is a four pronged modality that you can learn out of the book. It was designed for you to refer back to for help on a daily basis. 

Upcoming Workshop in Virginia Beach, 11/3

You can also come to the workshop at the upcoming National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists National Conference being held in Virginia Beach, this November 3-8. The class is scheduled for Friday, November 3 from 8 AM – Noon. Call 855-772-0459 or register at http://www.NATH.world.

Accessing More — Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process is available at https://www.roxannelouise.com/accessing-more-tapping.html for just $24.95 plus shipping.

What is this inner wisdom and how can you access it?

    • Have you ever had the experience of tapping into something More–more than you are aware of knowing or being able to do consciously? 
    • And has this More allowed you the ability to accomplish the difficult with ease and grace? 
    • Did it allow you to succeed even though success was considered unlikely or even impossible? 
    • Was it there just when you needed it? 
    • And did it solve a problem in the most perfect way?

Certainly, I have on multiple occasions, and I have heard the stories of others as well. Whether it is suddenly being able to solve problems that had previously defied solution, having creative breakthroughs, superhuman strength to save the life of another, or responding protocol perfect to a never before encountered emergency, people have amazed themselves and others when they have spontaneously accessed this greater wisdom, intelligence, strength, ability or knowledge. Sometimes it has come as a result of a necessity or out of nowhere during an emergency, and sometimes it has come in quiet moments after working on it for a prolonged period of time through normal conscious means and then letting their mind relax.

For example, I was awakened one morning with noise coming from my master bathroom. I found my five cats surrounding a copperhead snake that had gotten up into the ventilation system from the crawl space and pushed up the floor grate to get into the room. The snake was coiled up ready to attack, and kept rotating its head to watch each of the cats. What could I do? I had to protect my cats, prevent the snake from getting back down the floor grate and having access from the ventilation system to other parts of the house. I had to be sure to get it, dead or alive, completely out of the house without myself or my animals getting hurt. The way I responded turned out to be protocol perfect even though I had never been trained. How did I just naturally do everything right?

Another time, I found myself caught in a rip tide and rapidly pulled out to sea. I tried swimming to shore, but it didn’t work and I quickly got exhausted. I tried yelling and waving my arms for help, but those on shore didn’t notice and couldn’t hear me over the surf. I was getting wiped out with the waves and getting water in my mouth. Again, it seemed that I tapped into that something More to stay calm and focused on what I could do to stay alive.

Like a cat with nine lives, I have had many experiences starting from childhood that could have been dangerous, even fatal. I have also had many overwhelming responsibilities or pressures through which I sailed calmly. I have accomplished some amazing things with ease. You probably have done or know others who have done the same. Just google feats of superhuman strength and you will find many real life examples.

While necessity does motivate us to look deeper for ideas and strength, it certainly does not guarantee being able to do so as so many people blank or numb out, freeze or just panic. The questions for all of us are:

• How do we tap into that greater knowing, wisdom, ability or resources without it having to be an emergency, life or death situation? 

• How can we tune into whatever it is that allows us to handle life with greater ease and grace on a regular basis? 

• How can we routinely tune in and save ourselves a lot of time and energy, worry and frustration, fear and anger on or about upsetting events as well as ordinary everyday things–our job, relationships, daily life and responsibilities?

Some people may automatically jump to religious causation for all beneficial outcomes, and I do not dispute that miracles may occur. But it is my personal opinion that believing that all help comes from outside of us can actually limit the natural flow and development of what may inherently be an inside but undeveloped part of us. Instead, if we can consider that we are MORE than we think we are, we may be able to connect to the More that we truly are. I do not know or need to know where the demarcation ends of what is me at my highest and best and what goes beyond ‘me’.

Accessing More starts by adopting the open minded attitude that it is possible–that you are able to harness greater resources, wisdom and ability that go beyond the limitations of the ego and conscious mind, beyond the subconscious, to the spiritual dimension of the self that is further linked to an even greater consciousness. Start with a positive attitude and set an intention to do so.

Accessing More of both what is within and without is done below the level of conscious awareness. Simply quiet your mind, and go inside to the peaceful part of you, affirm your intention, and allow that inner something to do its work. This approach circumvents the ego, the mind games, circuitous thinking, internal and external blocks, and inhibiting energies that have prevented previous solution to the issue of concern. The process works to solve practical problems, relieve stress, and heal from long-standing issues–even sometimes those that have previously defied resolution. All aspects of your life can be addressed–mental, emotional, relationship, physical, financial, business, and spiritual.

This process can be used anytime, anyplace as a self-help tool by the ordinary person to help himself in real life situations. It can also be used for meditation, constructive self-programming, and in conjunction with other modalities. But hypnotherapists, dowsers, teachers, counselors, life coaches, energy healers, mental health practitioners, and others can also employ it as a full-fledged therapy. It draws upon the principles and practices of hypnosis, Neural Linguistic Programming, dowsing, meditation, prayer and many energy healing methods.

So what exactly is this More?

While it includes your subconscious mind that regulates all of your body functions, automatic behavior, physical, mental and emotional habits, directives and injunctions, beliefs, judgments, and memory, it goes beyond that. I believe that this More is primarily the eternal, infinite intelligence within you that is intrinsically linked to the ultimate consciousness behind all that is. Using this system increases your awareness that you are More than your ego, More than your body and local mind, and More than the individual, spiritual self that people call the soul, to something beyond.

Traditional religious circles say that this More is God, and exists totally outside and apart from the self, and is reachable through prayer, petition, ritual or sacrifice. Unfortunately, all too often prayers beg, whine, or plead in fear without really believing that help will come, or make things worse by focusing on the negative. Consequently, such practices can nullify such help.

Labeling or identifying this More is not important to access the benefits.

In fact, it can get you stuck and mired in mankind’s perpetual argument over philosophical and religious discussions that are, in the final analysis, unprovable and come down to a matter of beliefs. Whether right or wrong, true or false, your beliefs and attitude do make things easier or harder. So adopting a helpful attitude, a curious mind that holds a window of possibility when you desire to solve a problem or achieve a goal is crucial to your success.  

The Infinite Intelligence Process is one way to tap into what I call More.

It helps you to adopt an attitude that will make things easier and flow more readily. It makes a big difference in processing overload and releasing stress, and it does so in a very simple way that you can do anytime, any place. Let me show you how you can quickly and easily tap into that incredible wisdom and resources within you on a regular basis! Consider buying the book and come if at all possible to the workshop. 

How to Deal with Overload

Start by reading Dealing with Overload if you haven’t done so first.

Where do you start?

The short answer is —ANYWHERE YOU CAN!

I like to start with deep breathing because it is instant stress relief. Taking deep breaths will start to release fear, paralysis, and clear the mind. To think straight on how to solve a problem, you have first to get oxygen to the brain. Even a few, slow, deep breaths will help. Any physical exercise, singing, dancing, heavy duty housework, chopping wood, laughing– all make you breathe.

Add music as it will instantly change your mood. If you need to accomplish physical work, combine it with energizing/happy music. Whereas, if you need to accomplish mental work, then combine it with soothing, relaxing music.

My top picks are to 

  • meditate for a few minutes to clear my mind and affirm that I have access to internal resources to do what is needed
  • do some needed task, no matter how small

Sometimes I need to get totally away from things, and just do something relaxing or fun. This is the point of vacations — rest and renewal. This clears out the paralysis and gives me energy that I can then harness to address important issues. Make sure that any ‘fun’ item is not just mindless, time wasting like t.v./internet, but something like being with people you love and care about, or singing, dancing, laughing, sports, etc. that makes you breathe, releases stuck energy out of the body, and shifts your mood. Give yourself a time limit.

Then move to the current problem. Write down various things that have to be done to resolve whatever is overwhelming you, and do whatever you can that you can tackle it immediately. This might as simple as making some phone calls, setting an appointment, scheduling for some help. You do not have to know everything you need to do, just the next step. Do that!

If you don’t know what to do to resolve the issue that is overwhelming you, do other tasks that will be then out of the way for when you do know what to do with the area of concern. This could be your everyday needed tasks like washing the dishes, doing the laundry, food shopping, cooking, etc. I have found that getting your energy moving in any direction, relieves the paralysis in other areas. 

Get help

Find someone who likes solving your type of problem and is good at it. For example, if your house is a mess and that is draining your energy just to look at it, find someone to come in and help you. If you can afford it, hire someone and delegate it. If not, barter, trade with a friend. In other words, I’ll trade you two hours with you coming to my house and helping me do ____ on Saturday, and I’ll come to help you do whatever you want help with for two hours the following week.

Just as two heads are better than one in solving a problem, four hands make the work go faster. When I hire someone to clean, I normally work with them doing those things that are best left to me. This might mean cleaning out a drawer or closet. If you work along with someone else, not only are you doubling the progress, but the other person will keep you on track, and the socialization while you work can even be fun. 

Again, if money is an issue, find some other way to make it work. For example, I had some extra bedrooms in my house and at one time used the rent to pay for needed help. At other times, I traded a room for their labor in my house or farm. I bartered hypnosis for massage. I registered with a local Time Bank to use my skills to get help I needed. Many years ago, I traded babysitting with a couple of other mothers. Ask yourself, how can I get the help I need with ____? What do I have to sell/barter/share? Who can help me with ___? 

Goal Setting 

Lessening overload will always entail goal setting and ordinary problem solving. As mentioned, get the energy moving any way you can by doing something. Then do the next easiest task, and the next. For example, when I have to clean house, I start with the smallest, easiest room. This is usually the bathroom. Then I move on to the next easiest room, and so on. By the time, I get to the hardest room, I am already feeling better by seeing so much of the house looking good that I am in a more hopeful, better mood to take on the bigger job whether that day or the next.

However, some people like to tackle the hardest thing that they are avoiding first. What works for me in tacking whatever I find overwhelming is to get someone to work with me. It bypasses procrastination and generates tremendous energy that persists even after they leave. Having someone work with you is tremendously helpful because they are not emotionally invested in your problem. They may also have the skills you need and enjoy using them. They see solution where you just see problem. They are energized by your challenge, and you are drained. Their approach and possibility thinking can be positively contagious.

Be accountable to someone for taking action.

A client wanted help in getting rid of procrastination so that she could complete a writing project. So besides doing hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on procrastination and non-beneficial beliefs, I made a contract with her. She made a commitment to do  x_ pages and/or _x_  time writing, and I would rewrite/edit one chapter of a book I was working on. At the end of each day we were to email each other on what we had done. She submitted her short stories for a competition, and I completed a rewrite of my self-hypnosis book. It helped us both. You can make a similar contract with a friend.

Develop a do-able strategy or plan of attack.

Make lists and prioritize. Put it on the calendar. Then start checking off as you accomplish each thing. Make a note each night on what you have accomplished. Seeing progress as things are crossed off will make you feel better. If you don’t know how to set up a strategy, ask someone else. There are many forums, meet-ups, business organizations that offer help.

Can you make it fun?

Perhaps you can listen to something interesting as you work. For example, I used to put the Saturday Matinee broadcast of the Metropolitan Opera on while I was working in the kitchen. During that broadcast, not only did the kitchen get cleaned, but I did my major food preparation/ cooking for the week. That cooking made sure that I was going to eat right –important if you are to maintain a high level of energy. Because I was so mesmerized by the heavenly music, I was not caught up in “woe is me,” or “I hate doing this”, etc. I follow the same strategy with other mundane tasks.

If you have to go out and do something you have been avoiding, can you go with a friend or meet up afterwards? For example, I have friends who take a friend to their doctor visits. I know others who join a gym together, or go for a regularly scheduled walk. They get their exercise done and socialize at the same time. Make a commitment, and you will get it done. 

Pay attention to basic self-care

Sleep, good nutrition, contact with others that care about you, fun and humor all provide the energy you need to solve problems and get out from under. Positive energy has to be coming in both to the physical body and to the spirit so that burnout does not occur. Find a way to get more coming in than is going out. 

Pay attention to your self-talk

Your thoughts will help or hinder you. They will make it easier or harder. Become aware and shift from the negative ones quickly. Here are some: “Sooner or later, I figure it out.” “I find a way that works for me.” “I get the help I need to do this.” “I take it one step at a time.”

More Ways of How to Deal With Overload 

There are a thousand ways to get rid of being overwhelmed. My favorite way is my own Infinite Intelligence Process. See Accessing More–Tapping into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process . Another book, Your Unlimited Potential will teach you self-hypnosis, stress management, Walking Mantras, and goal setting. The Emotional Freedom Technique is also very helpful, and I teach it to ALL my students and clients. 

Questions? 

Call me: Roxanne Louise at 434-263-4337 or email me at RoxanneLouise2@gmail.com. 

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

PUBLISHED: Releasing Anger without Killing Anyone!

Just Published!!!!

beartoons-anger    Cartoon citation: beartoons.com

Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone!

by Roxanne Louise

An entire Anger Management Course!

Teach right out of the book!

Use it to help yourself! Use it to help others! 

A jam-packed guide on how to:

√ Turn anger into a blessing! 

√ Shift anger into constructive action! 

√ Use your challenges to improve yourself, your business, relationships & your life!

    • Understand the underlying dynamics! 
    • Change how you look at things so that they don’t bother you nearly as much! 
    • Make your enemies & problems help you! 
    • Harness anger as motivation to heal & make much needed change! 
    • Communicate more effectively! 
    • Fight clean! 
    • Stop conversations from spiraling downwards! 
    • Notice negative patterns & screw them up! 
    • Take effective action without the baggage!
    • Enjoy your life despite the crap!

Jam Packed Tips, Strategies, Techniques & Visualizations! 

Turn Everything Into a Blessing!

154 pages. Just $29.95 plus $5 shipping.  Order here: https://www.roxannelouise.com/releasing-anger.html

 

The Relationship Between Fear and Depression, Breath and Posture

How You Breathe Can Lessen Fear 

A recent study by Christina Zelano at Northwestern University indicates that breathing in through the nose as opposed to the mouth helps a person to respond more quickly to fear and knowing this can help you to deal with it. 

“We can potentially use this fact to our advantage. For example if you’re in a dangerous environment with fearful stimuli, our data indicates that you can respond more quickly if you are inhaling through your nose.” ~Christina Zelano

But, what I would add to this is that it is NOT ENOUGH to just breathe through the nose, but to BREATHE DEEPLY and FULLY. 

My understanding is that the first reaction of fear is to freeze the breathing mechanism – in other words, to hold the breath. This is the deer in the headlights syndrome while you are evaluating what to do (run/fight or stay in freeze). The fastest way I have found to discharge that fear is then to deliberately take a deep, big breath. Followed by other deep, regulated breaths, the mind quiets down.

Deep Breathing Lessens Depression & Fatigue Too!

As a former classical singer with NYC Opera and elsewhere, I noticed that deep breathing whether through the nose or mouth through the process of singing, dancing will process out the debilitating emotions of fear and depression as well as fatigue. While music also plays a significant part, I am sure this significant improvement has much to do with the increased oxygen reaching the brain. Classical singers while singing, for example, breathe four times as deeply as people at rest. Increased breathing and oxygen intake through any form of exercise will put you in a better frame of mind and in a more emotionally balanced state where you are able to think more clearly and make more rational decisions. 

Posture is Important 

Deep breathing is aided by an erect posture that allows the rib cage to expand. Then a person must train themselves to keep the chest still while breathing  deeper down that fully engages the diaphragm. This means that the belly moves in and out with each breath.

Good posture makes better breathing possible, and greater oxygenation of the brain allows a better processing of emotions. But posture is by itself relevant to mood and energy levels. Multiple studies indicate that good posture, holding the head erect and eyes looking forward rather than down [downward facing eyes puts a person into their emotions] lessens depression and fatigue! There are multiple such articles cited on the internet indicating that simply choosing to alter body posture to a more upright position is a quick shortcut to improve mood and energy levels. 

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.  

Mistakes, Regrets & Moving On

I was listening to Oprah Winfrey saying that “there are no mistakes because you have a supreme destiny.. There is a supreme moment of destiny, of calling on your life. Your job is to feel that, to hear that, to know that ….Sometimes when you are not listening you get off track…but it’s all leading to the same path. There are no wrong paths.…you learn as much from your losses as you do from your victories.”

When you are overwhelmed with a challenge,

“get still and ask what is the next right move, and from that space, ask what is the next right move, and the next right move…You are not defined by what someone says is a failure for you. Failure is just there to point you in a different direction.”iu-2
citation: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1588759/images/o-OPRAH-facebook.jpg

Personally, I have regrets.

I have made lots of mistakes, some really, really stupid, unwise, disastrous, painful, expensive mistakes. Sometimes overconfident of my abilities, I have thrust myself full into relationships, careers, relocations, obligations, purchases, financial matters without really understanding what it would mean–the ramifications of it and whether I was capable not just at that moment to handle it, but whether it would be sustainable and desirable long term.

On the other hand, sometimes reeling from the pain of previous mistakes or regrets, I might have been under confident, and did not take the leap of faith to track down and seize a new opportunity, relationship or experience. Sometimes I didn’t think I was good enough, worthy, capable, and so held back. Or that the carrot dangling in front of me was just a tease and would be snatched away at the last moment causing me more pain at rejection or failure. Sometimes I just needed time to lick my wounds before risking again.
BUT I have learned from all of my mistakes, although, unfortunately, not right away. Some  I made over and over again until it became obvious that I needed to do something different, that it wasn’t a matter of trying harder or tweeking my approach.

The value of your mistakes

Mistakes, failures all teach you a lot. All of the wisdom I gained from my own has gone into helping others. They have caused me to be more empathetic to others, to understand what they are going through, and how they can move out of it. I can now provide the candle of hope for them that there is  life on the other side of even major mistakes precisely because I have been there, done that. And so can you.

As a small child, I sat at the feet of my amazing and wise grandmothers and listened to their stories. By age 4, I decided that above all I wanted to achieve wisdom in my life. However, wisdom comes from experience, and that includes mistakes and failure, and sometimes regrets.

Learning and moving on

My new mantra is “I turn everything into a blessing”. Or sometimes, I just say “how can I turn this into  a blessing?” I look for something I can learn regardless of how I feel or felt about what happened. This means that I get far less stressed or aggravated about new unpleasantries than before. I bounce back faster. As my outside ages, I get better on the inside. And so can you.
Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.            

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