On Grief and Suffering

32348Years ago I saw the movie Shadowlands – the story of Oxford professor, C. S. Lewis (most known for his children’s book, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe), and his American Jewish wife, Helen Joy Davidman.

At the point where Lewis has to face that Helen is dying, he realizes how much he loves her. But her illness makes him question his devout Christian faith. How can God allow such suffering? How could God bring him love so late in life only to snatch it away?

If you shut your heart to pain, you shut it to love as well.

Helen responds that you cannot shut down your heart to avoid feeling pain or you will shut down your heart to feeling love as well. She says that the pain that you know will be experienced later IS part of the happiness now. It makes each moment more poignant. You have to be willing to experience it all. You have to keep your heart open.

Helen’s attitude is a recognition that everything is transitory – both our lives and our time together with loved ones. It is a way it is seizing the moment to appreciate everything now especially because we know such moments are finite. And when such time is over if they die before us, we can be comforted in that we had those moments together, that we experienced their love and our friendship and happiness together.

“Carpe diem”: Seize the day

Perhaps in the case of an on-going or painful, terminal illness, knowing that their suffering was ended can also be a comfort.

And then there is the grief of witnessing the suffering of others that we do not know. How could a loving God allow such evil? Why do bad things happen to good people?

Why does suffering exist?

I don’t believe there is an answer to this age-old question although there are theories. In a specific individual case we may have a hunch as to why. Certainly the consciousness of the individual has a lot to do with the personal internalization or how they experience the suffering whether or not it changes the outward situation.

Some think that there is karma – that bad things happen to pay someone back for the bad things they have done in the past. Then guilt plays a part. Guilt always looks for punishment.

But some of my hypnosis colleagues have found that suffering can be part of a soul contract. In other words, that a soul has voluntarily taken on a specific challenge in order to learn something – maybe humility, patience, or compassion for others with similar challenges. There are many people who have credited their childhood poverty, abuse, or trauma as the motivating force to work hard to change things and do something with their life. Some were even be the ones responsible for pulling the family group as a whole out of their dire situation. If learning is the reason for the suffering, speed up the learning process and then ask the universe to be released from the condition.

Maybe the soul has chosen it’s challenges as a way to grow personally. Or maybe the soul has willingly taken on a challenge to help others to grow, to teach them something, or at least, to give them the opportunity to do so. Maybe their suffering is to inspire others to take action and remove or heal the cause of the problem so that others benefit, or to come up with a solution, an invention, a therapy, or legislation to address that problem that brings much needed change or improvement. Maybe it is to teach compassion and give others an opportunity to minister to their needs.

I remember years ago listening to one of the most arrogant, elitist, wealthy man talking about the problems of being a parent to a severely disabled young child. And when I heard it, I thought that his son might be a heaven sent gift to soften and open this father’s heart to love, and teach him compassion for others. Right or not, that was a blessing  that could potentially arise from the situation.

What can you do when you are grieving or suffering in some way?

Deliberately find a way to notice what is still good. Savor the love and friendship that is available. Open your heart to those who come or call. Reconnect. Pull your loved ones and pets close to you. If you don’t have a pet but love animals, get one or volunteer at an animal shelter. As you open your heart to give love in any area possible, you will receive it back abundantly.

Connect with nature and appreciate the natural rhythms and cycles of life. Death is part of that cycle. After every winter comes spring, then summer, fall and winter again. But then spring returns yet another time. Think of the the spring flowers, the young ones, the baby birds and animals just being born. Take time to be with them, to notice and appreciate whatever is around you. Go feed the ducks, hatch some chicks, hug a tree. And I don’t mean to be trite in the face of real suffering, but just focus on being, really being present with any evidence of LIFE in any of its forms, including what may seem to be inanimate like rocks and streams– all of these bring healing.

Look for beauty. Look for any evidence of goodness and joy. Look for evidence of things that have been around much longer than a human’s lifespan, and for evidence of things that die and are reborn.

When my son was born, my neighbor’s daughter just died. So as soon as I was out of the hospital, I went over to her and let her hold my baby. I wanted her to still know that life goes on, and that this new life can be a great comfort. Holding the soft bundle of a newborn melts the heart, and in the melting comes the healing.

Any person for whom you grieve lives on through you not just in your memory, but also in how they touched or changed your life. The love you had for them lives on, and I believe that their love for you does as well. I have personally experienced my whole being filled with love multiple times as my deceased father’s made his presence known. Same thing happened for months with a very special cat. I have had visits from deceased clients, students, colleagues. So I am convinced that the soul lives on independently of my memory of them.

And something of you will live on through friends and family – your legacy to the world of how you made a difference perhaps just in being in the right place at the right time to give encouragement, a helpful perspective, a simple act of kindness. Cherish the good memories. Put up any photos that bring a smile to your face and make you laugh. And if you have them, hug their pillow, their clothes with their smell still on them.

Then connect to the spiritual dimension, the greater cosmos beyond the solar system, the galaxy to an even bigger beyond in all it’s majesty. Go out and watch the sun rise and set. Look up at the stars and visit any awe inspiring vistas where you can gain a higher perspective beyond your day to day life.

And go every day to that place within your soul that is still okay and loves you very much. Remember, know and allow yourself to feel that

you are loved.

 

 

Thinking about Prosperity

More than Money

“Prosperity is more than just money and things. It is first of all a feeling of wealth insidean awareness of the vast abundance that is everywhere in nature, in your life and within yourself that you can draw upon. And this recognition provides some measure of confidence in being able to meet whatever challenges that come your way.

Prosperity includes love, friendships, networks and personal connections, as well as your own personal qualities that engender trust, respect, cooperation and help from others. While it includes your talents, skills, work experience , it also includes your unpaid life experience, the way you think and approach a challenge. It includes your creativity, your belief in yourself and your ability to learn new things and solve problems. And finally, it includes your health, sense of humor, joy, fun, appreciation and gratitude. All these things together generate a sense of fullness, satisfaction, security within yourself, and, therefore, a measure of peace of mind. 

The recognition  that you do have something to work with relieves stress, which is vital to being able to connecting to your inner guidance from which to generate ideas of what to do and where to start. Then the attitude of gratitude provides the energy conducive to good fortune as does love and enthusiasm for your work.

Creating prosperity is MORE than what specific actions you take or don’t take – vital as that piece is.

It requires a consciousness that is open to wealth in all its forms.

This means becoming aware of and then healing any discomfort, negative beliefs, judgments or fears about money, wealth or yourself so that there is a willingness to receive, hold, invest and expand upon what you have. It requires feeling worthy. It requires a compelling vision of a better future that motivates you into needed and sustainable action, and a belief that you can learn whatever is necessary and overcome any problems to bring it forth. And it includes a willingness to share or give something in return so that there is a flow instead of a blockage of energy. 

Some people are good at part but not all parts of the equation.

They may generate money, but then squander it and lose it as quickly perhaps out of fear, guilt or unworthiness. Others are very frugal and careful in spending, but seem almost allergic to receiving, asking for a fair return for their services or seeking out better income-making opportunities. Perhaps there was trauma around money, or past life vows of poverty, or a belief that wealthy people are evil, or a belief that it is dangerous to have money, that someone will try to take it away from you, or that having more than your friends and loved ones would cost you their love and acceptance.

Some people are so fixated on their problems that they don’t see possibilities, they don’t see that it just might be a growth opportunity. The energy they need to solve their current problems is drained from any number of emotions, some of which have been held for things that happened (or didn’t) many years prior— grief, blame, shame, anger, guilt remorse, hopelessness, or feeling like a victim. Not seeing hope, they are not proactive in seeking whatever help they need or in taking effective action.

Dowsing can assist to find and resolve the root cause of prosperity issues.

This may be in the areas of generating, retaining, investing or increasing money, giving and sharing wisely. It can be in healing trauma, negative beliefs, judgments, fears and other energetic blocks. Dowsing can also assist to set up a strategy for action and overcoming challenges.

Free American Society of Dowsers Teleconference “Dowsing Support & Continuing Education”, Tuesday, June 11 at 8 PM Eastern

Dial (646) 876-9923, enter Participant Code# 443-333-280, & press # at next prompt.

On the American Society of Dowsers Dowsing Support Teleconference scheduled for Tuesday, June 11, Dick Tippett and Gale West are going to address various aspects of creating prosperity and how dowsing can assist us to both generate prosperity and use our resources wisely.

In particular, Gale will talk about her connection with money as a consciousness and share how we hold money affects not only ourselves, but the energy field around us. She believes that healing our relationship with money is one of the most powerful things we can do to affect change in the world. She will give practical tools to identify energetic alignment and misalignment with money. 

Dick Tippett will (as time allows) talk about clearing non-beneficial energies, emotions, thought forms, story lines, attitudes, beliefs, judgments and other prosperity blockers that include money allergy, cords, promises and vows, past lives, generation frequencies or genetic memory, and beliefs absorbed from others.

The live call is moderated by Roxanne Louise and is open to everyone to listen. There is time for Q & A at the end. It is recorded and available on the Members Only page at dowsers.org usually on the following day. 

galewest pict (1)GALE WEST is an internationally known artist, entrepreneurial coach, and intuitive who brings more than 35 years of experience in human potential and as a transformational change agent.  A midwife to magnificent businesses, careers and lives, she is passionate about empowering clarity of vision, right action and actively co-creating with the Divine. 

She specializes in transforming personal and collective relationships to money and success through workshops, retreats, classes and breakthrough coaching. Additionally, she is certified as a consultant and teacher in the Akashic Records. 

She has taught business, entrepreneurship and leadership both in China and the U.S.  Her soon to be published book, “Money Come Dance with Me,” was in inspired by her communication in the Akashic records of money. It invites a new paradigm of money as the expression of Divine love in the marketplace, a guide and loving friend, and an agent for a generous and collaborative world. She has been dowsing since the early 80’s.

For a free video on money mastery and meditation on prosperity, see her website at www.sacredmoneymastery.com

Gale can be reached at gale@sacredmoneymastery.com, 773-494-4300 USA.

Dick TippettRICHARD “DICK” TIPPETT has been a business manager and a consultant for most of his professional life. An Honors Program graduate of Kings Point, he holds degrees in engineering and management. He first learned to dowse from Master Dowsers Harold McCoy and Raymon Grace. Dick brought his dowsing skills into the business world, where he quickly learned that they make him more efficient, his business more profitable and his clients happier and better served. 

For many years, Dick has been an active part of the West Coast Dowsing Conference. In 2018 he served as the Speaker and Special Event Coordinator for the conference and, in partnership with Gladys McCoy, again led the very successful all-day Beginning Dowsers’ School. 

Dick is also the Chair of the Golden Gate Dowsers. Dick has spoken on various topics at the West Coast Dowsing Conference, at several ASD chapters, at The Ozark Research Institute and at the New Jersey Healers’ Retreat. He teaches beginning and advanced water and energy dowsing, a prosperity workshop, works to clear non-beneficial energies and heal disincarnate beings. He and his late wife, Karen Ashley, have a fine workbook that goes along with the prosperity workshop they led together.

 

When You Lose Everything

The devastating fires in California that destroyed the entire town of Paradise, and destroyed thousands of homes, businesses and neighborhoods in multiple other locations throughout the state, brings up the question, what do you do when you lose everything–your home, your livelihood, your community, all of your possessions, everything you worked so hard over the years to create, your way of life, and, in some cases, even the lives of your loved ones?

Whether because of storms, natural disasters or war, illness, collapse of the economy or infrastructure, many throughout the world have faced this question. The shock and the grief can be so overwhelming that it can be immobilizing precisely when swift action is required. Such shock severely impedes the clarity of mind to know how to move forward now and the will to do so. And it can set up more problems including illness later on.

So what do you do?

The  immediate issues are clear:

  • find and remove yourself and loved ones from immediate danger
  • secure the basic necessities of food, water and shelter
  • gather your family, friends and neighbors around you to hold and support one another
  • find out about community resources
  • organize with others to deal with the immediate emergency
  • salvage what is left and assess what is gone
  • cleanup the debris

But then what?

An important component to moving beyond the devastation is your interpretation of the events. If you accept it as a force of nature that you could have done nothing to prevent, you will much more easily be able to move on from the loss. But if you blame yourself, that guilt or self-condemnation will drain your energy making responding effectively harder and calling for self-punishment. If you blame someone else, your resulting anger, rage and possible hatred, while mobilizing you to take action, will have a punishing effect upon your health and relationships. And if you wallow in grief, it also will consume you. And then, you may vacillate among all of the above in soup of emotions that is hard to process.

Accepting what cannot be changed helps

Acceptance does not mean that you like the situation. It does instead recognize that you cannot afford to squander your time, energy or momentum by hoping that it is all a bad dream and you will open your eyes and everything is back the way it was. All the tears and wishing it were not so will not change anything. You must conserve your energy and stay focused.

“Since this has happened, what do I want to do now?

What is my next step?”

You do not need to know the answer. You have only to hold the question in mind and then do something, anything. 

Something helpful is to affirm that you have inner resources and wisdom, creativity and problem solving ability beyond your conscious awareness. You have an internal guidance system, your personal GPS, that gives you hunches, and sets up synchronicities. I believe you have a spiritual guidance system as well. You can relieve stress by turning your predicament over to your internal and spiritual guidance with affirmative statements such as:

“There is a part of me that knows how to ____ and is doing so now.

There is a part of me that knows the next, right step to take and how to proceed. And that part is guiding me now with grace and ease.”

You can as did the character Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind shake your fist at heaven and make a vow that somehow you will never experience anything like this problem again. I prefer to yell at the beneficial heavenly forces:

“Turn this into a blessing!”

The glass may be half empty, but the glass is also half full!

You may think that you have lost everything. But if you are alive, that is not true. Assess what you have left – friends or family, your health or important parts of it, intelligence, skills, creativity, problem solving ability, network of who to call for help, and most important – your very life itself.

Maybe you can find a scrap of humor – what we call black or dark humor that which comes out of the depths of despair. For example, before this happened, did you want to de-clutter? Well, now you have done it! If you were thinking of moving, now you are going to! If you wanted to remodel, well now is the time!

Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb, phonograph, and many other things lost over half of the buildings in his West Orange, New Jersey laboratory after an explosion and resultant fire. Damages in 1914 reached seven million dollars, with only two million covered by insurance.

edisoninchem1

Edison vowed, “Although I am over 67 years old, I‘ll start all over again tomorrow.”   

When a reporter asked him how he felt, he responded that there was value in a fire in that it lets you start again. Not only that, but in watching the fire, Edison was inspired to create a new invention.

within two days, Edison had also finalized design of a portable searchlight whose three million candlepower beam would be visible for miles. In the midst of the catastrophe, Edison had noticed how the firefighters were hampered by the loss of power and light.  He puzzled over the problem and came up  with the battery driven light source idea and design. At age 67, Edison’s pace of work and inventions had slowed, but they could hardly be described as declining years. Within six months, Edison was demonstrating his latest invention in a nearby park,  attracting curious onlookers who wondered where the bright light was coming from!  The old adage that “every cloud has a silver lining” certainly applies here.”

Many times our lives, job or relationships run the full distance and we reach a place where no more growth can be made. It is time to change course, but we resist. Sometimes we are lazy, don’t want to do the work, or just stubbornly cling to what is safe known although even if we recognize that it is a rut. Then a cataclysmic event can come along to catapult us out of the rut and into unknown territory where we have no recourse but to reinvent ourselves and begin again. Hidden in the ruins is an opportunity to ask “where does my soul want to take me?”

In an earlier blog entitled “Blessings in Disguise”, I provided examples of how a major loss can turn out to be a blessing. They can set us on another path – one that is more fulfilling or allows or demands that we grow.

I am not making light of tragedy, or claiming that growth is the reason behind the loss or the justification for it. Nor am I advocating that you ‘buck up’, adopt a ‘stiff upper lip’ or deny your grief. What I am saying is that the only long-term constructive response to loss is to deliberately look for some good to come out of it, and to work to make it so both for yourself and others.

Focus on where you are going, on solution, to making your life or world better in some way. If you focus on what you had and lost, you will like Lot’s wife in the ancient Biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah, be consumed.

At every moment, you are creating your life story. What do you want your epitaph to read? 

“Here lies John Doe. He had everything and lost it all. Unable to move on, he became morose, angry and bitter, turning to drink for comfort. He died alone having alienated his remaining friends and family “.

Or ….

Every challenge calls us to rise up and dig down deep inside to find the strength and courage to take action having no guarantees of success, no assurance that the ground will rise up to greet us as we take those first steps.

Courage is facing the fear and doing what is needed anyway. It is being knocked down and standing up again. We are called to trust that small voice within, and follow its subtle lead. If others have suffered as well, we are also called to help them. Together we are stronger. As we work together, we are healed.

Find a reason

Heroes are born on the front lines where it is hard. Many never rise to the occasion, or they stumble and fall never to get back up. Overcoming devastating loss is a daily choice to action and attention to attitude. It is assisted by a faith that life can be better and that you can do something to make it so and that it is worth the effort.

It is the Mama Bear that finds her strength to rescue her cubs, or the fireman that rushes into danger to save others. Such actions are born from love, from a belief that life is worth saving, that life is worth living, and that despite the pain, cruelty and evil, that there is much good and beauty in the world. A vision of that better world or a big enough reason mobilizes the will to start again.

Find your reason to rise and then rise again, and gather others around you to support your resolve.

Copyright 11/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

 

 

 

 

 

Healing Meditation

LISTEN HERE: Healing Meditation – 12 minutes

The key to receiving healing energy is to be in a receptive state. This you do by by relaxing, letting go of tension and upsetting emotions such as fear, and to elevate your mind and emotions into a state of gratitude, love, joy, and awe.

Start with taking a few deep breaths. With each exhale intend to let go of any muscular tension, and allow your body to sink into the furniture. 

Next focus on those things for which you are grateful. These can be simple things – food, shelter, a hot shower or a cup of hot tea. Besides feeling grateful for all of those things that you have now, you can also think about those things for which you had in the past providing that the emotion arising from those memories make you feel that you were blessed instead of making you sad. Sadness, guilt and shame drain your energy. And anger, resentment, blame block it. But gratitude, love, joy, humor, and especially awe, increase it.

Image two giant hands cradling your body, supporting you, infusing you with love and life-giving energy. And as these hands lift you up, let all unnecessary stress drain away.

Further information: see our other articles at UnlimitedPotentialHealingCenter.com .

Listen also to Podcast: “Dowsing for Mind-Body Healing”

 

Releasing Anger Example

Applying what you know (or think you do!)

This is a rewrite of an article originally written and posted July 9, 2017

ReleasingAngerCoverpng

 

The bad news is that when you write a book on anything, especially mine entitled Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone, the time of sustained focus required to write a book may bring about an experience to apply what you know (or think you do).

(Don’t you just love the Law of Attraction!)

The good news is that you do know (or should know) something to harness that energy constructively and then move it out of your system more quickly than you did in the past.

Think of it as the universe giving you AN EXAM. 

Here is an OPPORTUNITY to prove:

  • Do you know what you are talking about?
  • Or have you just been spouting nice sounding platitudes, airy-fairy nothings, intellectual but useless, impractical, untested, unproven ideas and information? 
  • Do your techniques actually work and make a positive difference?
  • Is there more yet to learn?
  • How can you set things up to avoid similar problems in the future?

So on June 29, 2017, a tenant, as she was moving out of my house, left water running in the upstairs bathroom. Gallons of water poured down from the second floor to the first floor living room, and down to the basement below. Rugs including a large Oriental, a mattress, books, furniture and other things got wet. Almost half of the living room ceiling had to be replaced, and as repairs were later made, drywall dust was everywhere. Most everything  had to be boxed up and moved out of the living room along with the furniture.

Likewise, two basement rooms were disrupted in order to mop up the water and get things out of harm’s way. So not only was my living room unusable for more than a month but so was the dining room and hall, and those two basement rooms as well. 

Immediately taking a long view of the problem, I knew that regardless of how much time, energy, work and out-of pocket expense would be involved, regardless of the bad timing and other demands upon me both health wise and financially, the problem would be eventually fixed, and the house would be restored to it’s former beauty. In other words, the problem was temporary. That tenant is now fully gone from my house, and I have a new, wonderful person living here. I had workmen who would help me clean up the mess.

fullsizeoutput_2cI knew that I needed to harness the anger into constructive action. So I called the appropriate people to get the help and advice I needed, and start and supervise the work.

In the meantime, I did a lot of the Infinite Intelligence Process that I wrote about in my book Accessing More to both dump stress and access my internal guidance and wisdom within.

I did EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), dowsing for emotional healing, and meditation because I did not want the anger to poison me or cause my health to further deteriorate. Plus, I wanted any and all possible contributory factors resolved.

I also did not want to project my anger back to my former tenant as it would then be a curse on her head. Because I believe that we are all connected, the corollary is that what I send out comes back to me.

To help shift my attention, I focused on what I had to be grateful for. What was left? What was good? 

  • Well, certainly the damage could have been much worse.
    • Luckily, I was only away from the house for an hour. Many other precious items in my living room and basement were not ruined even if some got wet, but would have been otherwise.
  • Help was immediately available. 
    • Two farm workers were here that day who immediately came in and helped move furniture, mop up the water, take the worst of the ceiling down, and set up fans to dry everything out to lessen the chance of mold.
    • I quickly located and hired a drywall laborer to reinstall new sheetrock and to paint.
    • A friend put me in touch with a cleaning lady who came after the ceiling was repaired. She helped me take down, wash and rehang all curtains in the living and dining room, wash, dust and vacuum everything on the ground floor and upstairs hallway. The net result was that I ended up with a much cleaner house.
    • My insurance agent came quickly, and although I did not file a claim for various reasons, I got the information I needed. 

Throughout the process, I asked myself:

  • What could I learn and how could I grow from this experience?
  • How I could prevent something like this happening in the future?
  • What I might have done differently that might have prevented it?

In other words, I was actively looking to pull a blessing out of the experience. 

To get all my anger and everything off of my chest I wrote a letter to my tenant. But after writing and rewriting it, I read it to a close friend who is also a lawyer for her input. What upset me most was that my tenant took no responsibility for her actions. Instead she was just blaming me. I felt it necessary that she understand the ramifications of her negligence so she be more careful elsewhere. This stopped the imaginary conversations of what I wished I said to her from continuing to loop in my head.

I learned long ago that:

  1. writing letters that you do not send acts as if you did. It allows you to get everything off of your chest as if you really did say what you wanted to say to them.
  2. pause before sending anything in writing, and then only if you must. Less is better. The written word lasts forever, where spoken ones are quickly forgotten.
  3. Groaning over damage done and what cannot therefore be changed (what’s done is done) is a waste of precious energy. You need to conserve that energy in order to stay healthy and to address the problem.
  4. Complaining to people who cannot help you is an immediate, very short term vent, but counterproductive otherwise.

In fact, complaining or venting beyond the immediate time frame can just be a

  • ploy for sympathy as the ‘victim‘.
  • It can be revenge by getting other people to hate your adversary as well.
  • It can be a substitute for any real action–an excuse not to do anything.
  • It can be justification for your own mistakes and
  • avoidance of any responsibility for what happened, and
  • avoidance of the need to change personally.

Best to talk only to those that can offer some good information and advice while remaining detached emotionally from your issue. And then listen with an open mind.

Only clear eyed, detached processing of everything that happened and why without jumping to attaching blame is helpful. Then accept what can not be changed, create an action plan, and get to work immediately. As you see progress, the quicker your rage will die down.

Personally, I would have loved to had someone just hold me. But since I don’t have a partner, I grabbed a cat and snuggled with him. I sat with my piggies. I hugged my dogs. I looked up at the sky. I picked up and talked to the toads. I noticed some of the abundant sweetness that is on my farm. I remembered that I am loved, that I have meaning and purpose in this world, that this is a beautiful place, and I am choosing to be alive and present. 

At other times and places, I may have made love, watched funny movies, gone dancing or done something nice with friends just to discharge energy and regroup. But what is important is that you actively do something.

There is always something still left to enjoy and appreciate—even a memory to lift your spirit. 

  • Did I pass? I think so.
  • Will I do things differently in future? Absolutely!
  • Will I forget the lessons? No.
  • Can what I learned help someone else? Yes, I know so.

Copyright 8/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

On Being Acknowledged

20180616_awardASD:me

Educator of the Year Award

At the June, 2018 American Society of Dowsers Convention held in New Paltz, New York, I was honored with the Educator of the Year Award.

20180621_ASDaward

This is not the first time I have been given a National Award. I have five from hypnosis organizations (the list is here). And while I regularly teach at national and regional dowsing conferences, run Central Virginia Dowsers, monthly Dowsing Support Teleconference Calls, and have written 9 books and over 118 articles on hypnosis, dowsing, self help, mind-body healing, etc, NONETHELESS it means a great deal to be recognized, not just for me, but for anyone.

The importance of recognition

Being seen, heard, appreciated, publicly acknowledged for whatever contribution we make in life is one of the best gifts we can receive and give to another. Many people go through life feeling invisible, and that their work, loyalty, dependability, kindness and consideration, their going the ‘extra mile’ are taken for granted. That is devastating to the human spirit, causing resentment, bitterness, anger or great sadness. Worse, it causes people to sometimes give up instead of continuing to do their work. The world suffers then as a result.

It doesn’t matter if that work is Mom reliably making your meals, washing your clothes, getting you to school on time. Or it is someone that opens the store every day on time, comes and feeds your animals so you can go away, takes you to the airport, does favors large or small, or fills in the countless gaps where we need and count upon others to help us. Everyone needs to be acknowledged for what they do.

How wonderful if we each could notice and thank others – not just with a superfluous ‘thank you’, but by gripping of the person’s hands, looking them in the eyes, and really conveying genuine appreciation. Let them feel your heart. Being seen and heard and appreciated are vital to the human spirit. Indeed, it is vital for health and life itself. Feeling valued, feeling that we are important, and an integral part of the group is the glue that holds all meaningful relationships together — families, friendships, neighborhoods, communities, businesses, organizations and more. 

Recognition does not mean giving a trophy to every participant, or an award where there was no meaningful effort. Such plaques are empty, even insulting. But it does mean  acknowledging in appropriate ways for the degree of service that is provided or effort made. The best award is one in which others agree that ‘you deserved it’ and can celebrate with you for a job well done. Yet, even small acts of kindness, good manners or common civility should be acknowledged. Someone who has just opened the door for you deserves to be looked in the face when saying ‘thank you‘. Shake the hand of the person who has carried your groceries or loaded your car. Because…

Gratitude blesses the giver as well as the receiver. 

And as to the person who receives the acknowledgment, it is a testament to their rising to the occasion whether there was rain or snow, whether they were tired or having a bad day themselves, whether it was difficult or not. They showed up that day and the next, and the next, to do their part. They noticed a need and fulfilled it. They stepped up to the plate. Yet…

Each of us stands on the shoulders of those that have gone before.

Awards not only honor those that receive them, but to the countless others who taught , mentored or coached them in developing character, discipline, responsibility, skills and expertise, and most important, humanity.

Behind every successful person are dozens of others that helped them along the way.

There is a saying that ‘behind every successful man is a woman’. But in truth, each of us is the person we are today because of others teaching, guiding, inspiring, supporting, and believing in us. No one achieves anything on their own. And in thanking that person, you are also thanking their parents and elders, their teachers, their pastor, their supporters and heroes.

This awareness helps to balance the ego. Yes, the one recognized can be rightfully proud of their achievements and what it took to get there. They can and should honor their own personal dedication and decision to be of service in any way they could, large or small. And at the same time, they should turn around to thank those who made it possible.

20180625_Dad

So, in addition to countless others who have helped me including my spiritual team, I want to thank my father, William Erwin Wackenhuth, for what I have achieved and the person I am still in process of becoming. He was a man who dropped out of high school at 16 to go to work as a draftsman. Yet he finished Newark’s Arts High School, then college at Newark College of Engineering and all but the final part of his Master’s Degree, all by going nights and walking miles each day just to save the trolley car fare.

He was a highly intelligent man, lifelong mechanical engineer, inventor, teacher at General Motors, ham radio operator, Sunday school teacher, devoted son, brother, husband and father. He was a Christian who lived by an examined (not blind) faith, and a man of enormous integrity, and dedication to his family. As many have said of him, ‘they broke the mold’ after he died. Yet, I see his legacy being passed on through my son. And I witness others who also were molded by men and women of strong character that are making an impact in their world. It is my hope that these traits become dominant in the American people once more.