Regaining Your Sanity When You Start Freaking Out!

In times when you are already experiencing trauma or prolonged stress, it is not unusual for one more small thing (the ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ ) to come along and cause you to cross over the line from ‘dealing with it’ in some fashion to going into full melt-down, panic, collapse or just giving up. As the Universe has offered me many challenges in my life, I have had to dig down deep within myself to find a way to dig myself out of the hole in which I found myself. It was the stimulus that had me study psychology, hypnosis, dowsing, EFT, and a wide variety of other modalities. In the process, I found ways that helped me and helped my clients. I use as many techniques as relevant or necessary.  

What can you do to head it off when you feel it coming? What can you do once it happens?

I asked this question of a combat veteran, “what do you do when you get really stressed out?” His way of putting things into perspective was 

“if they’re not shooting at you, it’s not serious.” 

And then he said that he does something physical to work off the energy.  

So the first remedy to regain your balance is 


Anything that makes you breathe deeply (working in the garden, shoveling snow, raking leaves, scrubbing the tub, cleaning out the garage, going on a brisk walk or run, singing, dancing, shooting baskets or a golf ball) flushes the stress out of your body, brings oxygen to your brain so that you can think more clearly, and gets your energy moving to offset paralysis and depression. If you choose an activity that brings you joy or a sense of accomplishment, that is a double bonus.

The second remedy is to 


Turn your head, or look up in a different direction. Look up at the sky or out to the horizon.  Look for something beautiful, awe inspiring, funny, cute – flowers, pets, animals, children, a sunrise or sunset.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help. 

My help comes from the Lord which made heaven and earth….”  Psalm 121

What do you have in your life that warms your heart or makes you smile or laugh or feel peaceful, safe or protected? You may have photos of loved ones or a place that you visited that was wonderful, or filled with peace and joy. Look at those photos and feel the love of these others, and happy memories. 

The third remedy is to 

3. CONNECT WITH & HUG SOMEONE YOU LOVE – even your pets!

If you can’t physically hold them, call them. And if they are deceased, close your eyes and imagine them with you, holding you, lifting you up, loving you. I firmly believe we are always connected to those we love.

Years ago, I was performing in Manhattan and getting off the bus in Jersey around midnight. I was so exhausted that I literally had to think “Put one foot in front of another.”  Yet I still had a 90 pound dog that had to be walked when I got home or there would be a pile of mess on the carpet. So I imagined my two deceased grandmothers  as my guardian angels holding me up under each arm pit helping me to walk. That prayer and image indeed gave me strength to do what I had to do. 

The fourth remedy is to


What do you have to be grateful for today? Do you have a roof over your head, do you have food in the pantry, running water, a hot shower, clothes to wear today? Is the sun shining? Are you breathing, able to walk, able to see? Regardless of what may be happening tomorrow, for today you have life, you have or have had people and things and conditions for which you can be grateful. 

The fifth remedy is to


Think about all the things you have already learned and overcome – learning to walk/talk/read & write & do arithmetic/ride a bike/drive a car, etc. Think about your talents, your ability to learn, experiment and improve, teach yourself things, and start something totally new and get good at it in time. Or think about how you may have moved into a new neighborhood, new job and learned your way around and made new friends, etc.

The sixth remedy is to


Affirmations only work if you can believe what you are saying. If you don’t, they will backfire! Memorize some positive suggestions that resonate with you  and repeat them over and over until you calm down. I have a standard affirmation that I use when discouraged:



Another affirmation that I frequently use because I believe in reincarnation and have what I believe are memories of many past lives, some of which ended horribly, is


In other words, whether I am a little Jewish girl living in Munich in early 1940’s, or the best prepubescent teen in a Mayan village during the times of human sacrifice to the gods, or a victim of jealousy or hatred by the priest training me in ancient Egypt, my soul will survive even if they kill my body, and I will be reborn in another one.

 Others affirmations that help me are:

“Sooner or later I figure it out.
“I learn and move on.”

“I do what I can. I let go of the rest.”

“I can do this. I can do anything I make up my mind to do.”

“There is a part of me that knows ____, and that part is helping me now to ____ in a way in which I am really pleased.”

“Breathe. Just breathe.”

The seventh remedy is to


Go from “I can’t” or “it’ll never work” to “If it could work, how would it work”, or “Who do I know that could help me with solving this so that I can create ___  instead?” , or “Who has experience dealing with this before?” Or “who is able to create ____ easily?  What do they know or what do they do to be successful?” 

The eighth remedy is to


What can I learn from this?” “How can this experience help me to grow?” “Who do I need to be, and what do I need to think or do to experience ___ instead?”

The ninth remedy is to


Ask the question: “How can I turn this into a blessing?” Or  make a declaration: “I turn this into a blessing!” Or demand it of Universe or the cosmic forces: “Turn this into a blessing!”

The tenth remedy is to


What can you do to totally take your mind off your problems? Make love? Watch a good movie, or comedian, or something else that captures your full attention? Preferably, it should be something that doesn’t just distract you, but which actually makes you feel better, calmer, happier, more resourceful or energized.

The eleventh remedy is to


If the problem is in your house, go outside. If it is in the city, get out to nature. If it is with work, go to lunch with friends, or visit friends after work. Take a vacation or travel to a place with good memories. After you regroup, then go back and tackle whatever you need to do. 

The twelfth remedy is to


Yes, listen to comics, watch funny things online, and laugh at yourself for getting so stressed out. I sometimes imagine a fat, clown balloon character that flops down at the waist and says:

“Ha, ha, ha, ha, I’ve created more drama. It’s part of the karma I now choose to heal.” (Repeat until you start laughing yourself.)

Years ago I was going through the tremendous stress of a divorce. Unable to function in my office, I went next door to a neighbor on my floor and said “tell me a joke.” He then told me one. I laughed, and with that went to another office on our floor and said “I have a joke for you.” I repeated the new joke, and we both laughed, and then he told me one as well, and I laughed again. I did this over and over again developing a repertoire of jokes that kept me laughing as I couldn’t repeat one without doing so. It got me through.

And thirteenth and fourteenth remedies are related, and so bunched together


You don’t have to do anything all alone. Perhaps you know someone, or you know someone who knows someone, or you know how to get physical help, advice, or information online or in a library or from a company or an agency. When I am stuck, I start asking questions. If relevant and if my budget allows, I hire someone. 

For example, I have a list of people that can help with various things on a task or an hourly basis whether housework, farm chores, repairs, handyman stuff, strong back lifting, bookkeeping, internet, etc. And what I found is that I get a ton of work done both setting up for my helper, working while they are there, and continuing after they leave. Extra hands don’t just add to your productivity, they multiply it many times over.  They build energy.

Short of funds? Perhaps consider a high school student or barter or a mentoring program. What can you give in exchange? My area has a TIMEBANK program where people donate their services and in receive services on an hour for hour basis. This is a organized form of “I scratch your back, and you scratch mine.”

NOTE: Getting help in ANY area of your life will free up time for you to work in ANOTHER AREA especially those that only you can do.

Finally, the fifteenth remedy is to


This is the spiritual side of Ask for Help. But only pray for what you want, not what you don’t. Pray for help in dealing with or resolving a problem. Pray for guidance, understanding, clarification, insight, strength, personal character traits, skills, ideas, wisdom, healing, the right kind of assistance for anything. Focus not on the problem as if it is huge as this will manifest more of the same and delay forward movement. Focus instead on that problem either moving towards resolution or being already resolved. Give thanks for it already being completed. 

One time when I felt completely betrayed by a neighboring store that was openly attempting to take over my business, I prayed “how can I look at this in a way that doesn’t hurt quite so much?” And I received an analogy that immediately shifted me from grieving to taking appropriate action. I then prayed for another office in a location closer to home, with many things that would make it much better than the office I had. And that happened. 

Another time I was again betrayed by a ‘friend’ and colleague who plagiarized a significant portion of one of my books without giving me any credit for the pages of word for word heist. I prayed for understanding, and received a message that it was a pre-birth agreement that would teach each of us something important. This immediately dissolved both my anger and grief over what she had done and allowed me to sever the relationship and take action to notify the professional organizations of which we were both members of this ethical breach.

When my husband told me he didn’t know if he wanted to remain married to me or not, I was so devastated that I prayed to die. Spirit said “not now, later you will have a chance.” So with that I asked, “does that mean that I have to get up off the floor?”  With death now closed as an option, I said that I needed to feel that I was still loved if I was to have the strength to continue living. And love from Spirit did flow into my being and I healed.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise, 2023. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and  are included with the content.

What I Learned From One Year of Hell

One of three presentations I will be giving at this year’s National Guild of Hypnotists Convention taking place in August in Marlborough, Massachusetts is “What I Learned From One Year Of Hell – Undoing the Trauma Caused By Those With Narcissistic Personality Disorder”. Consequently, I am reposting a revision of an earlier blog “Why Shit Happens – Part 2” that provides some background and food for thought.

Now, I have been writing about THE WHY behind problems and suffering for a long time, such as this blog post, “When Manifestation Doesn’t Work: 2016/03/17/why-shit-happens-or-doesnt/ . (See many more relevant blog posts listed in the links at the end.)

Yet, here I was forced to revisit this topic once more because during most of 2021 – 2022, not only was I (like all of us) dealing with the stress of covid, but I had to deal with a potentially dangerous, personal situation that went on with tenants living on my farm.

Initially, I thought that this couple was an answer to my prayers for tenants that would be “better than the best I could possibly imagine” . I was praying to manifest renters that would have a variety of useful skills to help me on the farm, and a desire to support each other if needed in these highly unstable times.

Yet, instead of a dream come true, it turned into nightmare as their facade, their voiced intentions, their background turned out to be a total sham. While I suspect that they may have been conducting some criminal enterprise on my property, they acted crazy, and seemed emotionally unstable, unpredictable, and as I said, potentially dangerous.

Very quickly this couple tried to usurp my authority as landlord, violating multiple terms of the lease and pre-established policies. Through continuous harassment, they tried to prevent myself, workmen or other tenants from walking or driving down my own farm road that bordered on their rental space. They tried to insist upon a buffer zone that would allow them privacy from even eyesight of their cabin. They wanted to control when and why I could use my rear access road – a road that was already specified in their lease was not part of their rental space but in fact was shared in part with other property owners.

Reason, logic, and respectful dialog with them was impossible, and I was completely baffled by their behavior. They refused to accept my wishes or attempts to explain the lease and policies. I was confused, frustrated about being unable to get through to them, and they were causing chaos, increasing tension and division on the farm.

Things came to a head when only six months in, they built a wooden ‘glass blowing’ shed onto the 1880’s log cabin they were renting – a shed in which they would be using an open flame torch. This was an insurance risk, fire code violation, and in direct opposition to my instructions. A month later, they started erecting a two-story addition onto the home – without permission, permit, and in violation of building codes and insurance. They incessantly lied that I had given them permission to erect both buildings.

When I objected to what they had done, myself and my workmen were subjected to intense intimidation and threats that required the intervention of the Sheriff. When I served them with an eviction notice, they countersued me in court for thousands of dollars based completely on lies. That is when I discovered that both of them had a police record.

Things got increasingly ugly to where the Sheriff had to be called again because another workman and myself were threatened with physical violence. This very tense situation went on for about 18 months, 8? court appearances, and 1 full year after serving them the eviction order. They are finally gone, and it is over, but not before the man threatened to sue me for defamation of character for writing the earlier edition of this very blog post. My lawyer, however, says that freedom of speech is still part of the Constitution, and that truth is the best defense.

So how or why did this happen and most importantly,

What made my manifestation efforts go so horribly wrong?

  • Was I too gullible?
  • Was I too confident in my own instincts to know a good person from one who is not?
  • Was I still carrying left over baggage from previous tenants that had not worked out?
  • Was my mind so focused on other bad experiences and what I didn’t want that I attracted more negative?
  • Was I so smitten because they said everything I wanted to hear, that I did not take sufficient time to find out who they actually were?
  • Was my ability to see the good in everyone (something that helps me to help my therapy clients) working against me in the arena of their landlord and employer?
  • Was I vulnerable because I had never met malicious narcissists before and did not recognize the signs?
  • Was I too much in a hurry to re-rent the place and get much needed income?
  • Was my lease current and hole proof?
  • Was this part of a soul contract to hold them accountable?
  • Was this part of a soul lesson for me as a way to grow?
  • Was it scripted into my life plan as an opportunity to heal from something unresolved ?
  • Did I have bad karma?
  • Did I have a karmic past life relationship with one or both of these people?
  • Did I fail to do due diligence by not getting a background check?
  • And why did not dowsing not work to protect me?

While there is some merit to the Law of Attraction and “you create your own reality”, to reduce all causation to what you were or were not thinking or feeling is not only blaming, but massively simplistic. It misses the bigger picture. And all the positive thoughts in the world do not eliminate many other factors a few of which include your inexperience, ignorance or naiveté, your ability to accurately discern the will, agenda and true character of others, the free will of others, the higher intention of Divine Spirit, and the problem of evil.

Spiritual leader Panache Desai and author of YOU ARE ENOUGH says that

“everything you’ve gone through you’ve gone through to help another human being, to be of service to the world ….it is not personal.”

While I don’t believe that service to others is the reason why shit happens,
deliberately turning your personal misfortune into helping someone else either avoid a similar problem, or to help him deal with it in an easier, faster way is a powerful way of healing your own pain.

Turn the trauma of drama into a blessing for someone else, and it will bless you as well.

Wring some good out of it. My skill as a hypnotherapist and dowser specializing in mental/emotional healing is a direct result of what I have learned of value from my own painful or stressful experiences.

In a scene from the movie, Gone With The Wind, Scarlett O’Hara frantically goes out to the garden to find something, anything to eat. She finds a carrot and rips it out of the ground, and then shakes her fist at Heaven to declare that she will never be hungry again. She uses her hunger to declare what she wants to experience and fuels it with forceful energy, thus fulfilling the basics of manifestation:

clear thought + strong emotion.

Make a decision that a blessing or gift is going to come out of your problem.

You then will be looking for it or deliberately create one. Or as the saying goes,

“when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

Painful experiences push us to seek help, to learn and to grow.

Universe may provide them to us as an answer to a prayer for wisdom, or for discernment. They can be meant to be a GIFT from God, not a punishment. Never think of yourself as a victim as it drains your personal power and ability to respond effectively.

So if your problems are the result of inexperience, ignorance or sheer stupidity, accept it and learn. Now you know. And if it was painful, it will help you to remember that lesson. But problems are not always that. They may be precisely what you need to change course in life – to stop what you are doing, or to start what you are not doing (get off the couch).

The 12-Step Programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, say that is in ‘hitting bottom’ that the road out of addiction begins. And it precisely those who struggled with addiction and became clean and sober that can be the most help to others wanting to do the same.

Pain is a powerful motivator to heal.

But the personal growth that occurs as a result goes way beyond the resolution of a particular problem, but spills over into many other areas as well.

Recently, I was listening to a sermon by Dean Wolfe, Rector of St. Bartholomew’s Church in Manhattan on the topic of suffering. Rev. Wolfe quotes St. Paul as saying that

“suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”

According to St. Paul, God does not test us, or allow us to be tested beyond our endurance, but provides a way out for us. St. Peter even says that

“persecution is a kind of testing to develop a deeper belief in Christ, to strengthen character, and to deepen commitment to God.”

My opinion is that hardship will destroy you, or to survive it, you will be required to dig deep into your core and grow stronger.

Over one two week period in my own saga, I was so stressed out that I felt that I was at my breaking point. I have NEVER been brought so low. Besides being threatened again by my tenants, they initiated an emergency hearing for a Court Injunction based totally on lies in an effort to ban me off my own road, and extract significant financial damages from me. But out of it, I dug down much deeper within myself to anchor firmly on the truth of who I am (“a powerful, spiritual Being endowed with dignity, direction and purpose”). This is along the lines of the hymn ‘My Hope is Built on Nothing Less’, (https:// :

“On Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.”

This saying is not just for Christians, but for all people to find the rock, the truths, the things of substance upon which they can rely and which support them to weather severe emotional storms. As Canadian psychologist, author, and media commentator, Jordan Peterson asks “where do you derive your values?” Peterson also says:

The predator is calling the prey to be a better version of itself. What must you become?

He says that you should and can be more than you are.

In my own case, I was called to reclaim my power, establish clear and firm boundaries, assert my authority as landlord, and forcefully to declare ownership of what was rightfully mine. I was also being called to be a prayer warrior. In the process, I dug deep into my own past life history, as well as possible ancestral wounds or common traumas shared by all of humanity that were being triggered and acerbating the stress.

Courtney Brown, Director of the Farsight Institute in their Farsight Intelligence Briefing March 2022: How to REALLY Create Your Own Reality TRAILER ( v=8IUTzRS2eNk ) points out yet another value to shit happening. He says that is is only by clearly seeing the negative that you can know what you want to create instead.

“You have to know what you don’t want to know what you do want.”

He claims that just ignoring the negative and thinking only positive thoughts keeps you a slave to those who are doing bad things. You can only navigate through life when you clearly see reality – the good and the bad. It is the contrast between them that is essential to creating the reality you want.

Indeed, it is the awareness of things that could go wrong that leads engineers to design better, safer, more reliable products, that has parents teaching their children to look both ways before they cross the street, and that requires training for people wanting to drive a vehicle or fly a plane. And it was precisely because of experiencing the abuses of power that our Founding Fathers built certain protections and limitations on government when they constructed our own Constitution and Bill of Rights.

Awareness of problems that have happened in the past and the potential for where and how they might happen again is not being negative but a vital part of wisdom and experience for which we pay people big bucks. When joined with alertness and prudent care and action, it is good common sense and protective.

Wisdom is what you learn through experience.

While we each may wish to avoid problems and just have a pleasant life with everything ‘coming of roses’, such a life will never push us to reach our full potential, develop our character, and grow in wisdom and strength, or to be a beacon of hope and a role model for our children.

So should we be grateful for our problems?

Well…. in the beginning it is hard to see how some good can come out of it. But once we earnestly work to resolve the matter, we may notice how much we were being called to grow, heal old wounds, get rid of our inner demons, deal with an addiction or other self-sabotaging behavior, destructive relationship, life sucking job, or dead end situation of any kind. Many people in reflecting back have found that such event did indeed turn out to be precisely what they needed to get their life on track, make peace with the past, reconnect to those that love them or make new meaningful relationships.

Regardless of knowing in advance how things will turn out and if they will be in the way you want, resolve to grow stronger and wiser as a result. Let your war cry be:


See these other related blog articles also: our-reality/ for-good/ or-the-opportunity/

Honor the Negative – it has something important to tell you!

It helps to think of the so-called ‘negative’ emotions like anger, hatred, jealousy, etc. and the thoughts behind them as simply communication from your inner self. This is more productive than instantly judging them and sinking into self condemnation for thinking and feeling as you do, or to quickly deny them and stuff them in the closet of your subconscious mind where they remain hidden as part of the Shadow Self, but act out in passive-aggressive and destructive ways.

Before you can do anything about the underpinning of your uncomfortable feelings, you have first to honestly acknowledge your emotions and then uncover the thoughts or judgments behind them no matter how repugnant they are to admit and how damaging to your self opinion as a good, evolved, or spiritual person. Growth and healing starts with self-honesty, self-forgiveness and then self-examination. From there you can challenge those thoughts as all is not as it sometimes seems. For example, your anger can arise because of limited or inaccurate information. As Byron Katie, creator of ‘The Work‘ says

  • Is it true?
  • Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

The Emotional Freedom Technique

“Even though I ____” [feel, think, did, didn’t____], “I deeply love and accept myself.”

One of the reasons for the tremendous healing results from practicing the Emotional Freedom Technique as taught by Gary Craig ( is this above set-up phrase. Admitting our ‘faults’, negative judgments, pain, wrong action, problem, etc, and then forgiving and choosing to love ourself anyway, not only reduces enormous stress, but helps to forgive and love others as well thereby improving our relationships.

Let’s start with some examples of the shoulds and should nots as they are frequently a part in creating the Shadow Self.

Thou Should Not!

  • I shouldn’t get angry!
  • I shouldn’t want to strangle ____ (my children/cat/husband, etc)!
  • I shouldn’t hate my ___ (mother-in-law, my boss, co-worker, neighbor, etc.)!

Thou Should!

  • I should love everyone all the time!
  • I should forgive everyone for everything!
  • I should be always calm, peaceful, patient, & willing to help!
  • I should put other people’s needs always ahead of my own!
  • I should be grateful for everything!

Whatever injunction you place on yourself can be put onto others as in They Should or Shouldn’t____ and this will translate negatively on to your relationships.

I. have often joked that the people that most needed to be in church or temple were already there. That is because when someone so needs to think of themself as a good, God fearing person worthy to be a part of that religious community, they often deny their own hateful thoughts and are acting from their Shadow – the dark underbelly of the unconscious mind. What is denied cannot be healed.


Don’t rush into denying or trying to quickly erase your ‘negative’ thoughts and feelings. Rather take a moment to go deeper without condemning yourself or trying to cover it over with ‘positive’ thinking, affirmations, etc. Your emotions are valuable communication from your subconscious mind. Honor them as stemming from something deeper within yourself. Look at it. Perhaps challenge it. And then work to resolve what needs to be resolved, heal what needs to be healed, learn what needs to be learnt, and clear what needs to be cleared in a way that leads to real emotional growth and wisdom.

Copyright 2/12/23 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links to and are included with the content.

DOWSING (and Meditation) FOR POSITIVE CHANGE with Ho’Oponopono

NOTE: Monday Night Zoom Meetings are cancelled and will be rescheduled to a weekday afternoon at 2 PM EST for live participation once sufficient people sign up. Recorded sessions will be available for replay anytime. Once a month, a weekday evening (Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday) could also be offered upon demand. Email me if you are interested in a live group as to whether day (Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday at 2-3PM) or evening at 8-9 PM (Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday) will work for you:

As you will read in my latest blog article, Ho’Oponopono for World Issues?”, I believe that personal issues and global ones are linked through a shared consciousness. In other words, everyone is interconnected. And my consciousness which contains all of my memories, judgments and my feelings about them in both this incarnation and any others that I may have had, and those of everyone else, make up the Greater Consciousness of all beings. You might call it the computer bank for all of humanity and more. So in meditating or dowsing, you might address both the larger or global problem and how your own life reflects that. Or you might look at your personal issue and see how it is a reflection in the bigger picture. And include both in your meditation or dowsing session.

Think of how does your problem might relate to a larger or global situation. And how is yours reflected in the world, or how is the world problem reflected in what is going on in your own life? Try to identify the issue in just one or a few words. For example, jealousy, betrayal, abandonment, theft, covetousness, deceit, etc.

What’s the issue/ or issues? How can I address my issue and the bigger issue at the same time?

Once you identify the issue or issues, how can you meditate or dowse on this using Dr. Hew Len’s wording or my own longer wording based on the principles of Ho’Oponopono?


  • Read one paragraph, one sentence or even one phrase slowly while holding the pendulum and letting it spin by itself – counterclockwise to remove a negative and then clockwise when inputting a positive indicating that is working [doing what you have asked].
  • Let the words and your intention sink in. Even repeat the same sentence or paragraph until the pendulum stops or goes into the ‘yes’ position before going on to the next.
  • If you are meditating instead, wait until you feel a shift, or the segment feels complete. Then proceed to the next segment to the end.
  • You should feel calmer, more peaceful. If not, you need to repeat whether at that time or later, and certainly, repeat any time the topics, the upsetting memory or awareness of evil/wrong/injustice comes into your mind.
  • If you are in an extreme hurry, place your hand on your paper with everything that you want done, or place the pendulum over it and say something like “make all appropriate corrections here as outlined.”
  • If you don’t have the paper handy, take your pendulum and say “I am sorry for anything within me that is responsible in any way with ____ (the problem of ___, the situation with ___). Please forgive me. I love you. Please make any appropriate corrections in my consciousness and our shared consciousness. Thank you.

Option 1 is to list the issues of what happened.

“I am sorry, ____[your name], and I am sorry, Divine Creator, for whatever is within me, my relatives or ancestors in this or any other lifetime that attracted, allowed, caused, contributed or resonated in any way with ___ [issue] with ___ [name] to _____ [ what happened].

Please forgive me, ____[your name], for having to experience this. Please forgive me, Creator, and all of us in the collective unconscious.

I love you, ____[your name]. I love you, Divine Creator.

Thank you for bringing to my attention what needs to heal within myself. 

Thank you, Creator, for bringing divine love, healing, harmony and balance into this situation for the highest good of all. Please correct any erroneous thoughts in my consciousness and that of our shared consciousness that is responsible in any way.

Thank you for healing all the trauma that I and others have suffered from ____[list the issue/issues].

Thank you, Creator, for healing all the ___ [problems experienced] that I and others like me have ever suffered.

Thank you for healing any resonance with the problem within myself and correcting any errors in my consciousness and humanity’s shared consciousness so that this behavior ends, and people can _____[possible opposite of the problem].”

Take action with the pendulum and let me know when you are done. Thank you.”

[Wait until the pendulum stops, or if this is a meditation, until you feel a sense of completion.]

OPTION 2: Hold the paper upon which you have written what happened and the issues involved without listing them in your prayer.

“I am sorry, ____[your name], and I am sorry, Divine Creator, for whatever is within me, my relatives or ancestors in this or any other lifetime that attracted, allowed, caused, contributed or resonated in any way with this situation with ___ [name].

Please forgive me, _____[your name], for having to experience this. Please forgive me, Creator, and all of us in the collective unconscious.

I love you, _____[your name]. I love you, Divine Creator.

Thank you for bringing to my attention what needs to heal within myself. 

Thank you, Creator, for bringing divine love, healing, harmony and balance into this situation for the highest good of all. Please correct any erroneous thoughts in my consciousness and that of our shared consciousness that is responsible in any way.

Thank you for healing all the trauma and disturbances that I and others have suffered from anything similar to this at any point in time.

Thank you for healing any resonance within myself and others that participated in creating this and correcting any errors in my consciousness and humanity’s shared consciousness so that people live instead in harmony with one another with honesty, warranted trust, good will and compassion.

Take action with the pendulum and let me know when you are done. Thank you.”

[Wait until the pendulum stops, or if this is a meditation, until you feel a sense of completion.]

OPTION 3: List each issue you want healed, and each positive opposite that you want put in it’s place.

“I am sorry, ____[your name], and I am sorry, Divine Creator, for whatever is within me, my relatives or ancestors in this or any other lifetime that attracted, allowed, caused, contributed or resonated in any way with this situation of___[the issue] of___with ___ [their name]).

Please forgive me, ____[your name], for having to experience this. Please forgive me, Creator, and all of us in the collective unconscious.

I love you, ____[your name]. I love you, Divine Creator.

Thank you, Creator, in all ways for bringing divine love, healing, harmony and balance into this situation for the highest good of all. Please correct any erroneous thoughts in my consciousness and that of our shared consciousness that is responsible in any way.

Thank you for bringing to my attention what needs to heal within myself. Help me to ____[what you want such as greater discernment/balance/be able to ___].Heal the consciousness behind such behavior in both me and others. Replace it with ____ [what you want to happen such as the ability to dialog respectfully].

Thank you for healing the consciousness behind _____ [ the issue]. Put in its place a consciousness that supports _____ [the positive opposite such as clear and open dialog, good communication, trustworthiness, honesty, fairness, win-win attitudes, and justice]. Remove any ____.

Thank you for healing all the trauma and disturbances that I and others have suffered from anything similar to this at any point in time. Replace them with feelings of peace and tranquility. Replace them with an awareness of the positive things that were learned or can be gained as part of one’s wisdom from the experience. Replace them with a knowledge of what can be done to prevent a reoccurrence of anything similar happening again. Replace them with gratitude for the love and support received by others including that from Spirit, and a gratitude for the blessings still remaining. Help me to use this experience and what was learned from it to help others that are suffering, and to prevent more from experiencing such upset. In short, turn this painful experience into a blessing for me and others.

Release any of the stuck energies of stress from each and every cell, and restore health and harmonious functioning in the body, restorative sleep, and greater clarity and acuity of the mind, and a greater strength of spirit. In short, make me and others that have suffered stronger in mind, body and spirit. Strengthen also our connections and support with those who love us.

Remove any evil or dark influences supporting negative behavior and take them where they are unable to harm any being on this planet ever again. Bring divine light and love into the hearts of those that have mistreated others.

Thank you for healing any resonance within myself and others that participated in creating this and correcting any errors in my consciousness and humanity’s shared consciousness so that people live instead in harmony with one another with honesty, warranted trust, good will and compassion.

Take action with the pendulum and let me know when you are done. Thank you.”

A Tribute to Dowser, Diane Bull

I was saddened to hear that one of my favorite people and fellow dowser, Diane Bull, died last week. Those of you that are members of the American Society of Dowsers will remember her as a spirited, sometimes feisty former Board Member, convention speaker, and someone who was always ready to help fellow dowsers and the organization as a whole in the best, possible way. She taught me many things including that you could talk to the nature spirits in the garden to only allow the critters to take 10% of the harvest. Below is a photo of Diane with her husband and former ASD President, Leroy Bull. And here is an interview that I did with Diane back in 2018.

And here is the obituary sent to me:

Susan Spuhler found this: Obituary for Diane E. Bull

On Being Thorough in Therapy

Tracing & Addressing the Origin of Problems

I have been working on trying to understand what underlies human behavior and mental and emotional issues since childhood. At 4 years old, I was overheard telling a playmate “you’re master of yourself”. And while self-mastery is possible as we know of saints and gurus that appear to have achieved it, the 24/7 responsibility to monitor and correct your thoughts, beliefs and judgments, and then healing the emotions that stem from those thoughts — is a major, lifelong task that all too often seems like putting one foot forward but moving two feet back.

In elementary school I started giving advice based on Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” to my friends who didn’t know how to deal with fellow classmates. It’s a good book. Yet, despite reading a library of helpful self-help books and learning a multiple of therapeutic techniques from multiple modalities over decades.

Deep, personal healing goes beyond the lens of known problems and difficult relationships. 

It necessitates tracing the origins of issues and relationships back through previous lifetimes, through family and ancestral lineage, addressing the universal flaws existing within all of humanity such as the 7 deadly sins of pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth. And it involves healing the pain of what was perceived as missing especially in childhood of love, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness.

The known problems are CLUES to the real cause lying beneath negative repeating patterns.


Initially, when I had a problem, I focused on the current incident or the person with whom I had the problem.  But then when more problems with that person occurred, I had to focus on the relationship as a whole. And when that didn’t stop the problem, I had to consider that the problems with that person might stem with the soul of that person that could go back through earlier and perhaps many lifetimes. 

Later when I thought I had resolved the current situation, I noticed that same type of problem happened again, but now with someone else. So, I moved on to clearing the issue around all similar events about which I could remember, and that could involve even more people. Clearing the origin of the issue could involve clearing multiple lifetimes and multiple people and clump together with related issues. Yet, no matter how time consuming to address, once the same sort of problem happens three times, it means a pattern has been established that will only continue to reoccur until it is resolved.

We all know that future generations can be sensitized to specific fears such as that of discrimination or violence by hearing horrid stories of one’s ancestors. But recent research with children of holocaust survivors found that these children were more fearful than Jews from families that had not been in the concentration camps. The study hypothesized that these excessive fears were passed down on the DNA. This correlates with experiments on mice – the specific fears of the parents were transferred down to offspring. Perhaps this is a survival mechanism. But what this means in therapy is that is the need to address the issues experienced by our ancestors as well. Dr. Bradley Nelson has proven in his book, The  Emotion Code, that doing so can have tremendous therapeutic effect.

Further indications of problems passing down the family line is that of a role played in the family such as that of the invalid or the black sheep or the crazy one, or what has been called ‘the family curse’. 

Lately, I am following the theory that the source of the problem does not just originate within the self with its own beliefs and judgements and unresolved traumas from this and other lifetimes, nor that of our personal ancestors, but can originate even further back within what we call the “collective unconscious” – in other words, within the shared consciousness of all of humanity, and perhaps other species as well, throughout all of time.

As Dr. Hew Len who popularized Ho’Oponopono said,

“we cannot know the origin of the problem.” Hence, it is helpful to make space for the healing to go wherever it is needed without you knowing where it began.

Dr. Len’s method was to continually pray to heal his own thoughts or consciousness underlying the problem whether he knew what those thoughts might be: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” My own wording for this is:

“I’m sorry for whatever is within me, my relatives or ancestors in this or another lifetime that attracted, allowed, caused, contributed to or resonated in any way with this ____ (problem/situation ___of/with ___).

Please forgive me. Please forgive all of us.

I love you ____ [my name  or Creator’s].

Thank you for bringing to my attention what needs to heal within myself. Thank you for bringing healing into this ____ (problem/situation) for the highest good of all concerned. Thank you for correcting any distortion in my consciousness or in our shared consciousness.”

In the collective unconscious are the origins of every wonderful attribute of humanity seen also in the animal kingdom – love, empathy, kindness, protection of the young, joy, etc.. But here too lay the inclination to do harm as well as the wounds from that harm experienced by our ancestors from covetousness and greed, theft, betrayal, control and domination, manipulation, deceit and cunning, disruption and chaos, lies and broken promises, violence, rage and hate, mental, emotional and physical abuse, lust and rape — all traumas replayed over and over again from perhaps the very beginning of mankind. In dealing with the ancient roots of the problem,

I have come to the conclusion that deep healing ultimately requires appealing to something bigger than ourselves– the Divine, the Source of All That Is, the great I AM — in short, prayer is needed with repeated group prayer being the most effective.

“Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of you.”

To resolve what underlay a particular problem, I had to go back to the beginning (wherever that was). Hypnotic regression and past life regression are helpful, but it requires the assistance of another person – something not always possible, practical or affordable. There had to be another way.

In addition to everything else, I work with a large number of unconscious healing modalities of which there are many techniques – my own Infinite Intelligence Process, my way of using pendulum dowsing with specially designed charts, meditation and self-hypnosis, the Emotional Freedom Technique, Emotion Code, Conceptual Therapy, Tapas Accupressure, Neural Linguistic Programming, several hypnotic visualizations, and hypnotic techniques as by A.L. Ward, E. Art Winkler, Ho’Oponopono, and I continue to add more. Dowser Joachim Wippich’s work also deals with correcting unconscious thoughts and may be worth exploring.

My basic intention is to turn all problems into a blessing –

  • a blessing to me for the wisdom and fortitude to be gained in resolving them,
  • a blessing to others in that I can now help them with what I learned from a problem similar to theirs,
  • and a blessing to prevent others from suffering by learning from my experience.

And so, you can also turn your problems into blessings. Compost them and harvest wisdom and strength.

When I have gotten depressed or upset or frustrated with a problem that was defying resolution, I have remembered the words of Judith Baldwin, wife of Dr. William Baldwin, founder of Spirit Releasement Therapy:

“And It Came to Pass……Away!” 

While problems can be caused by ignorance (as in “what can go wrong?), not paying attention, ignoring the signals or your gut level instincts, inexperience, lack of knowledge or training, not considering the ramifications of each potential choice, over estimating your own abilities as in “fools go where angels fear to tread,” trial and error, or curiosity as in “I wonder what can happen if….”, I believe that problems are meant to be temporary. We can create them out of our recklessness or stupidity. But when they are assigned by the universe as in homework, I believe that are intended as a means to heal long, unaddressed wounds, to grow in mental, emotional and spiritual strength and to test that strength. They are the means by which we gain both in valuable experience and wisdom and heal on a deeper level. I am also reminded of a saying:

“Man meant it for evil, but God meant it for good!” 

Copyright by Roxanne Louise, 2022. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and  are included with the content.

Ho’0ponopono for World Issues?

Psychologist, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, received notoriety because of his amazing success with the inmates for the criminally insane at Hawaii State Hospital while he was there from  1983 to 1987. He was so successful that the ward was shut down in just 4 years as no longer necessary because the inmates were well enough to work, go into halfway houses, and leave. What he did was Ho’Oponopono, a Hawaiian (originally Polynesian) ancient practice of mental cleansing to set things right through mutual restitution and forgiveness. This practice was taught to him by Hawaiian Kahuna, Morrnah Simeona. Note that Dr. Len never saw or spoke with the patients incarcerated in that ward. The only thing he did was to hold their case records while repeating four phrases as a prayer over and over again: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.”

In saying this prayer, Dr. Len claims he was working on himself, not the patients. The words were directed at his own subconscious as if he, like a mother, were talking to his inner child. He was asking this inner child to release the memory or data (information stored in his unconscious) so that the divinity could then proceed to heal the disharmonious thought responsible for the problem. Then he filled this inner self with love and forgiveness. Dr. Len said that you cannot know the origin of the problem, which is why you turn it over to the divine to do the healing.

The negatively charged memory might be part of the collective unconscious as well as the personal unconscious from this or another time and place. So in releasing the stuck energy from his own experience, he was also healing the shared experience of the whole of humanity. The bonus was that everybody could then get better – hence my interest in applying it to larger or even global problems.

Dr. Len’s perspective was that all problems come from thought. A problem or situation was simply a response to a memory (information) that was within the unconscious. But here I am unclear as to the degree to which he believes that he as an individual 100% personally created the behavior/condition of other people as opposed to he as part of collective consciousness shares in responsibility. And is it possible that his understanding changed over time.

He said that the psychotic inmates were actually holy, complete and perfect. The problem was not in them but in the unhealed thoughts, emotions or memories within himself and the collective unconscious. The fact that they were showing up in his world in their psychotic condition was a reflection of some data, or shared memory (one with stuck negative emotion), that was within himself. He does not say that it lay exclusively within himself. Regardless, he took full responsibility to make self-correction through his I AM divinity to make amends by erasing that memory (not the inmates behavior or condition), a process he calls ‘cleaning‘, within himself and become peaceful. By so doing, inspiration was able to flow from him, and he was able to see the problem dissipating. Love was the healer. As he repeated these phrases throughout the day, the inmates rapidly improved. Their anti-psychotic medications were reduced, their shackles came off, the attacks on the staff stopped, and over time they were moved into halfway houses or able to work and re-enter the general community.He said “I was simply healing the part of me that created them.”

His teacher, Simonata, taught that the problem was an error in consciousness – a thought form. Len says that what the prayer of Ho’Oponopono does is to allow the Divine to transmute the negative energy attached to the negative thought form (which is the origin of all disease) and exchange it for perfect and right light. It has repentance, forgiveness, and transmutation. The transmutation takes place first spiritually, mentally, and then physically. My opinion is that problems are therefore an opportunity that leads to blessing.


If this practice could help to improve the state of the criminally insane, what can it do for corrupt leaders, politicians or corporate executives, big money interests, any of the many harmful policies put upon us by the ruling global elite? Can it mitigate the evil that we see anywhere in the world?

My opinion is that our personal problems are a reflection of what is happening on a larger scale. They are related. And because they are connected in consciousness, can we not then address them at either end? Can we by focusing on the personal help to mitigate what is happening on the larger end? Or by focusing on the many evils and abuses of power that we see or hear about in both our country and the world, heal what is happening personally?

My Version of Ho’Oponopono

There is no argument that Dr. Len’s phrases work. But here is my own more elaborate wording that I prefer to use:

“I am sorry for whatever is within me, my relatives or ancestors in this or any other lifetime that attracted, allowed, caused, contributed or resonated in any way with this ___ .”(illness, condition, state, feeling, tendency, behavior, situation, problem, event, experience, or issue) of _____. [NOTE: I would name the specific condition or write what it is that you want to address. Dr. Len held the file of the specific inmate By writing it down, you can cover many different issues at the same time .]

Please forgive me. Please forgive all of us. Please correct any erroneous thoughts in my consciousness and our shared consciousness that is at all responsible.

Thank you for bringing to my attention what needs to heal within myself. ” [Optional: you might say “Thank you, ___ “(name of person who is giving you the problem)”for bringing to my attention what needs to heal within myself.

(Addressed to God:) “Thank you for bringing divine love, healing, harmony and balance into this for the highest good of all. Thank you for healing any resonance with the problem within myself, and correcting any errors in my consciousness and humanity’s shared consciousness.

I love you, ____” (my own name, or my name for the Divine). “I love you ____ (name of other person) in that I recognize our common humanity.” [NOTE: I may say my own name if I have suffered. I may or may not be ready to say ‘I love you to the offender’ yet. So I can say ‘I love you’ to whatever I can say, which can be to the High Self of the person MADE ORIGINALLY IN THE IMAGE OF GOD.]

NOTE: Dr. Len’s practice was continuous – not a one-time event. I suggest that we commit to an experiment to do this ourselves.

STAY TUNED for an upcoming podcast or video of “DOWSING FOR POSITIVE CHANGE” in which we will put some of this into action. To be announced soon.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise, 2022. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and  are included with the content.

Dowsing for Positive Change

Upcoming Dowsing/Meditation Group Forming

I feel very strongly that

Dowsers can be part of the solution to not just personal issues, but local, regional & global problems as well!

In an earlier blog article entitled “Dowsing on Global Issues”, I talked about the ways in which dowsers have historically made a positive difference in the world, and how we can expand the application of dowsing to solving, resolving, healing, transmuting an infinite array of not just our personal problems and concerns, but those on a local, regional, national and even global level. 

In another blog, “What is mine to do?”, I asked: “What is my role to play on _____ (making this world a better place, helping to insure the health, liberty and general well being for my children and future generations to come)? This built on an even more of my blog articles including:

From Fear to Action

All Hands on Deck!, 

Dowsers Can Make a Difference!

The Power of Thoughts, Emotions & Politics

Some dowsers are already gathering to do this, but until we see the problems that concern us resolved, there will continue to be a real need for more. As Lynn McTaggert, author of the The Power of Eight: Harnessing the Miraculous Energies of a Small Group to Heal Others, Your Life, and the World, has found there is something extraordinary that happens when people join together to focus on a common intention. With each additional person and group focusing their healing work together, a multiplication of effectiveness occurs. This will help us birth a more wholesome world for generations to come. Consider starting your own group, or join with me as I am trying to get people to agree on day and time. If interested, contact me at or call 434-263-4337.

What to focus on? Here are some possible topics:

  • lessen the detrimental effect of mass consciousness – especially that of fear, 
  • heal our own issues where they are reflected in the world, 
  • reduce our resonance with what we don’t want, 
  • raise our vibration and align with what we want to experience,
  • help manifest a more wholesome world of happy, healthy people living together harmoniously and cooperating to resolve problems and reach common goals,
  • increase our discernment, our gut level instincts, our awareness of what is true, and what is in our highest good,
  • and to know what is ours to do on an individual as well as collective basis.

Stephen A. Schwartz, a consciousness researcher, who I have quoted many times before, said: 

“we are in this matrix of consciousness where all life and all consciousness is interconnected, we cannot really design the solutions” to world problems unless we recognize that “working with consciousness is one of the ways we can achieve not only personal well being but social well-being” as well.

“As far as I can see, there is no greater power than the collective intention of a large group of people. It can change politics. It can change physical reality. It can affect healing….Consciousness is the fundamental we are dealing with…” 

“You have the power through your intention to literally alter the circumstances of your physical surroundings…and the structure of reality.”  

If you are interested in being a part of this project to be hosted on Zoom, send an email to me at . I will send you the link and a brief questionnaire.

Thought for the Day

Can a problem be a blessing in disguise?

Have you ever thought that the problem you had could have been much worse? That it happened in a way that was manageable, easy or possible to remedy?

For example, your car broke down in town during the daytime instead of miles away from home late at night in an isolated area?

Have you ever had a problem that actually protected you from a worse problem or even serious misfortune?

For example, a slow poke driver that was holding up traffic and making you late for work actually prevented you from getting in the middle of the major car pile up ahead? Or finding out in time to be treated about a hidden but potential major health problem brewing only because you went to the doctor about a minor issue?

Here is a true story about someone I know. Nelson was very upset about being fired on a Friday along with 40 other people in his department. But on the following Tuesday, he realized how lucky he was because all those not fired died. Nelson worked in the World Trade Center. The date was 9/11.

Have you ever had one door close that led you to finding and opening a better one?

Losing a job that you really didn’t like can be precisely the kick in the butt to move you into pursuing your dreams. Carolyn, a singer colleague, was very upset about being let go from a regional opera company. It wasn’t only that they had promised her job security, but justified firing her anyway by insulting her saying that she had a wobble in her voice that didn’t blend in with the other singers. My friend used her anger to get busy with her voice teacher and coach to retool her audition material. As a result, she got hired full-time at twice her previous salary at the best opera company in the country – the Metropolitan Opera.

Years ago I was pushed out of one office by a New Age bookstore owner below me that tried very overtly to take over my business. This incentivized me to find another location, and I ended up with something much closer to home, bigger, more beautiful and with free parking – for the same amount of rent. My students and clients loved it! But I never would have found it if the store owner had not been telling my clientele that I had moved out of the building and he was taking over my business!

Another friend was awoken by her cat only to find out that the house was on fire. The damage caused both by the fire and water to put it out was extensive. But it led to a complete, beautiful renovation, new furniture, new wardrobes for everyone in the family that was financially possible only because of the insurance money.

Walking away from a relationship full of issues can lead to pursuing a much better relationship now armed with greater discernment, greater awareness of what you want and need, and the knowledge to avoid future problems. I was married but putting up with lots of things that bothered me greatly. Then my husband did the one thing that I could not tolerate. And that allowed me to leave and have a better life.

Historically crop failures, poverty or economic collapse, political upheavals, religious persecution, floods, droughts, natural disasters and war has pushed people to move out of their comfort zone to start another new and better life somewhere else. America was built on immigrants moving to solve their problems.

Can you think of how some of your problems led to something better?

Did they push you to grow?

What did you learn from them that helped you later on?

The Shadow Knows!

I don’t understand it–he was such a nice guy!

Many times we hear of someone that went ballistic, going on a rampage that resulted in hurting or killing others. Tension that had been building up within them for years with no way to regularly and safely escape finally exploded and went terribly wrong precisely because it had been denied so long. Perhaps the individual had been subjected to tremendous abuse while not being allowed to express his own anger or defend himself. Perhaps despite being grossly mistreated, he was nonetheless pressured to  ‘be nice’, polite, reasonable, accommodating or pleasing when no one was showing the same towards him. And then under stress came the ‘one too many’ times he felt mistreated, and the facade dropped and his rage let loose.

Finding your Shadow.

Whatever is unhealed, especially those unacknowledged hidden and denied aspects called the “Shadow”, has a nasty habit of cropping up in inappropriate, exaggerated emotional reactions and behaviors that sabotage not only one’s peace of mind, relationships, both personal and professional, but cause conflict in society as a whole. Shadow issues, precisely because they are hidden or denied, resist resolution.

Triggers are a gift!

Your Shadow and unhealed wounds are revealed by the things that trigger you. As such, recognizing your triggers is enormously helpful to identify precisely where your energies are stuck, and where you still have work to do no matter how much time has elapsed and despite how much work you have already done to resolve negative repeating patterns. Armed with that knowledge, you can now focus precisely where you need to finally free yourself of such issues. 

Healing and Reclaiming Hidden Parts of the Self

When you judge someone as stupid, or as a loser, irresponsible or lazy, consider that somewhere deep inside you are judging yourself as the same and that is precisely why you hate that personthey are your mirror!

If you can uncover, forgive and accept both your conscious and unconscious negative self-judgments, you will be more tolerant of others as you acknowledge your common humanity. This leads to better relationships in all areas of life.

The Shadow indicates what you repress, what you do not allow yourself to admit or express. Start with a willingness to look at yourself honestly. Regardless of what you uncover, you are still worthy of love. You still have phenomenal worth as a human being. The shame is not in being where you are right now, but in being unwilling to learn or grow, to try to do better. All of us starts off pooping in our pants and sucking our thumbs. But eventually if we take responsibility for how we are acting, we learn, heal and grow more and more into our infinite potential as a human being.

What is hidden, denied or suppressed is not all bad!

The Shadow holds both light and dark aspects of the self. It can hide wonderful things that are denied or suppressed because they are considered not practical, not lucrative, or thought undesirable by your family, group, religion or social class. Such denied positive aspects can include your talents and unique gifts, power, brilliance, earthy, and sexual or raw energy that gives you passion and zest for life.

There is a time and place for everything!

Hidden within the Shadow can be a ferocious, angry Mama Bear that protects her cubs, or a frightening Warlord that scares away the enemies that are endangering the tribe. The Dragon draws a line in the sand over which someone else dare not cross. The Bitch doesn’t put up with bullshit or mince words with manipulative, exploitative people. The Witch uses energy, visualizations, and intent to manifest desired outcomes. The trick is in knowing when and where to give expression to the Shadow. Giving the Shadow archetypes appropriate expression heals them.

“I recognize and forgive in myself what irritates me about you.” 

Decades ago, hypnosis colleague Doreen Virtue taught me the above phrase. As I repeated this sentence and thought about someone’s offensive nature or behavior, I was able to recognize the same traits or behavior within myself. I saw that I once acted the same way or I had wanted to. I saw my shadow in the other person. As a result of using this sentence, I found myself becoming less judgmental, less rigid, and more forgiving of others even while trying to maintain my own standards for myself.

Using the Hawaiian Practice of Ho’Oponopono

Another exercise that has helped me to both recognize and heal my Shadow is how I have adapted Dr. Hew Len’s 4 Steps: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.” Psychologist Dr. Len repeated these four phrases over and over while holding the case records of the inmates that were incarcerated in a special ward for the criminally insane at Hawaii’s state hospital. His diligent practice had such a powerful therapeutic effect upon the inmates that within four years the ward closed because it was no longer needed. The inmates had so rapidly improved that they were moved into halfway houses or able to re-enter the general community.

My Version of Ho’Oponopono

“I am sorry for whatever is within me, my relatives or ancestors in this or any other lifetime that attracted, allowed, caused or contributed to this ___ (illness, condition, state, feeling, tendency, behavior, situation, problem, event, experience, or issue) in any way.

Please forgive me. Please forgive all of us. Please correct any erroneous thoughts in my consciousness and/or our shared consciousness that is at all responsible.

Thank you for bringing to my attention what needs to heal within myself. (Addressed to God:) Thank you for bringing love, healing, harmony and balance into this for the highest good of all. Thank you for healing any resonance with the problem within myself, and correcting any errors in my consciousness and humanity’s shared consciousness.

I love you, ____ (my own name, my name for the Divine). I love you ____ (name of other person) in that I recognize our common humanity.”

Copyright by Roxanne Louise, 2022. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and  are included with the content.

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