Using Questions & Statements as Part of Your Daily Ritual

cropped-bio-pic2.pngRituals (regularly repeated acts done in a set precise manner) are markers in our day, week and life. These can be as simple as the morning coffee, the evening paper, the bath before bed. While not instantly life changing as the ritual of marriage, the impact of little daily rituals, nonetheless, adds up over time to powerfully effect your life. Why not use them to focus on what really matters?

The Power of Asking the Right Question

I suggest making a ritual of asking yourself specifically worded questions. Take your time to write out that question or questions that will direct your mind to your intended destination, one which will guide your actions in a way in which you are really pleased. The moment you ask a question, your mind must go in the direction of answering that question. So why not deliberately ask questions that lead you find the very answers you want, ones that not only take care of an immediate problem, but which sit well with long-term self-esteem, integrity, and soul satisfying achievement?

Questions to Stay on Track

I started reading Judith Wright’s book, There Must Be More Than This. She talks about soft addictions, which are basically time wasters and avoidance strategies, and how to eliminate them and focus instead on what will bring greater satisfaction to your life. On page 15-16, she recommends asking yourself some questions at the end of the day:

Did I move toward my goals and vision today?

Did I make a positive difference in other people’s lives?

How did I stand up for what matters most to me?

What did I do that was emotionally or spiritually nourishing?

How did I grow as an individual?

How did I experience love in my interactions and activities?”

These are great questions and you might want to use them yourself. What I would also recommend is to ask yourself questions in the “how can I” format at the start of the day. This would set the tone and intention. For example

How can I move towards my goals (or goal of ____) today?

You could also ask

What is the best use of my time, energy and resources today?

What can I do today to move my business forward by serving the needs of my customers?

How can I be of service in a win-win way?

How can I create a viable business while serving the needs of my customers?

How can I create a financially successful business that makes a positive difference in the world?

Using Statements/Affirmations

Affirmations (a positive statement made repeatedly in mind) are a common method of self-programming, and they work providing they are believable. If you disagree with the statement, it will backfire. In which case, the statement must be reworded in a way that is believable. For example, you can temper the strength of the affirmation, but still move yourself forward as you say,

“I get better at ___,” or

I am learning how to ____,”

I learn whatever I need to ___.”

What I have been teaching as part of the Infinite Intelligence Process is to make statements that imply that you already know the answer to the information, that you already have the resources to handle the challenge, and that you do have the ability to heal/resolve the problem uppermost in your mind. Think of yourself as intrinsically connected to a larger, spiritual dimension and all of that inner wisdom and healing power. Think of yourself as More than your ego and personal history. You might consider that you are made in the image and likeness of your Creator–a ‘chip off the old block’ so to speak. Intend to deliberately connect to and harness that larger, spiritual self or your soul to the task at hand. For example

“There is a part of me that knows how I can move towards my goal of ____, and is guiding and assisting me in every way possible to do so with grace and ease.”

“There is a part of me that knows how I can make a positive difference in other people’s lives, and is guiding and assisting me to do that effectively in a way that blesses all concerned.” or

“There is a part of me that knows how to significantly increase my business while make a positive difference in the world.”

When you speak this way, understand that you do not need to know the information consciously. Indeed, it may be impossible to know. Rather, you are affirming an inner or unconscious knowing. Allow yourself to imagine that you are (or just might be) more intelligent, more capable, more resourceful than you are currently showing up. Let statement or question sit in your mind quietly or repeat it until it permeates your unconscious mind. Once internalized, it will effect your automatic behavior, set up coincidences, make you alert to opportunities, etc.

Deliberately take control of your life by directing your thoughts in the direction you want life to take you. If you do this as a morning and evening ritual, it will make a big impact with minimum effort. As Tolly Burkan in his book “Let It Be Easy — 12 Actions To Create An Extraordinary Life” said, “let it be easy”.

For more information on the Infinite Intelligence Process, see Roxanne’s latest book, Accessing More–Tapping Into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process available through her directly at 434-263-4337.

Copyright 2015 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and  are included with the content.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: or call 434-263-4337


Santa Cruz Vending 7:16 copy


Putting forth the premise that illness is a choice may sound harsh. But think about it this way: Long before you get sick, you are entrenched in hundreds of little habits–habits of eating, exercise, work, lifestyle, smoking, drinking, and habits of how you handle stress, conflict and negative emotions. Even how you think is largely a matter of habit. And because thoughts determine emotions, emotional states and attitude are a result of habits of mind.

Choices become habits, and habits become destiny

All habits come about through choice–little decisions made again and again, perhaps multiple times daily until they become automatic and start to run your life. Thoughts are a choice as are attitude, beliefs, judgments, and decisions about how to interpret events and experiences.


There are consequences to your choices, consequences that include your health, mental and emotional well-being, or lack of same. However, at the time that the choices were made, you may have been unaware of those consequences or you lived in denial. After all, when you picked up your first cigarette were you really paying attention to the health risks? Did you think you could outrun the bullet, and that the health warnings didn’t apply to you? Did you just figure on having just a few, and quitting tomorrow? Were you bargaining, “please, God, just let me have this one ___ (cigarette/drink/ice cream sunday) and then I’ll stop and be good!

Now, years later you may become aware that it has come time to pay the piper. What do you do when you don’t like the negative consequences of your choices? How do you unravel bad habits, bad decisions, limiting beliefs or judgments for which you are now paying dearly?

Making different choices

Healing requires change, and change can be scary.

If a health problem is a result of long standing habits and patterns, healing will always require changing those habits and patterns. The necessary changes may be all pervasive, even drastic, and can be just as scary as the illness itself.  Carolyn Myss in Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, says that

“many of us are almost as afraid of healing as we are of illness.”2 

Even though a person may be aware of the risks, and their doctor may have recommended dietary, habit or lifestyle changes over the years, only when there is a clear cause and effect relationship of certain habits and choices with the negative consequences do most people begin to make even the smallest, yet alone big changes, that may be necessary. This follows the Law of Inertia, a body at rest tends to stay at rest, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion. It takes more energy to shift direction than to continue to do what you have always done.

How committed are you to heal?

Are you willing to do whatever it takes? And if you aren’t, can we then say that you are choosing to remain sick?

Myss asks the following:

If healing required moving to another part of the country, changing your attitudes toward others and yourself, changing all your physical habits, such as diet and exercise, being alone for a long period of time, or going on a retreat to confront your shadow, experiencing illness as a way of healing mentally, emotionally and spiritually, or losing everything familiar to you — home, spouse, job–would you do it?3

John Harrison, MD, in Love Your Disease–It’s Keeping You Healthy says that

Anybody prepared to make fearless decisions in their best interests will avoid all major illness and most minor ones as well.”

Illness provides benefits called secondary gains

There may be positive payoffs to being sick. For example, illness may get you out of a job, activity, situation, relationship, or a responsibility that you hate. It can provide an excuse not to do, or not to go where you don’t want, or to do something that you do, for example, to stay home and watch television. It may provide financial awards, temporary or ongoing income, medical benefits, and time off from work. [See article “Secondary Gain – a Gain from Pain”

Illness may get people off your back. It may provide an excuse, and special considerations or privileges such as handicapped parking. It may allow you to avoid responsibility for yourself or others. It may cast the die–letting the disease or condition make a decision for you when you are too indecisive or weak to do it on your own.

Illness may pull a family or relationship together, or provide a way to check on the feelings of others. It may let others know that you need them, providing them with an important role, and helping them to feel good about themself for helping you. Illness can be a way to get people to come to visit, and to obtain desired attention, emotional assistance, concern, sympathy, demonstrations of caring or love. It can be a way to get people to do things for you, even getting waited on hand and foot as in hospitalization.

Finally, a health problem can be a form of self-punishment, a way to atone or pay yourself back for guilty thoughts, feelings, behavior. As Myss says, 

Illness can…become a powerful way to get attention you might not otherwise receive”, and “as a form of leverage, illness can seem almost attractive.”

Benefits to illness can be secondary or primary to the condition. They can be conscious or unconscious (below the level of awareness). As in which came first, the chicken or the egg, did the person get sick in order to get his needs met? Or did he get sick as a result of bad habits or some other reason, and then notice that there were some payoffs in being ill?

Harrison says that

The person is needy, rather than sick….People get ill to get what they want… People do not get what they want…so they become ill.”5

Basic needs,  such as attention, solitude, caring, must be met one way or the other. And if illness is providing those needs, the person must feel secure in meeting those same needs, just as easily as before, but now in a healthy, constructive way. Otherwise, he will resist getting well, or he will get sick again to get his needs met.

To break the negative cycle, both the pain of the illness needs to be great enough for the person to be motivated to change, and the person must have hope that making changes will make a positive difference in their health. Without hope or positive expectancy, why bother to even try?

Harrison further states that

“Disease is both self-created and self-cured…. Illness is the physical and psychological result of unresolved needs, not a malfunction of a machine caused by unknown or external factors….We give ourselves illnesses in order to ‘take care of ourselves’ psychologically.”

Harrison and Stephen Parkhill, author of Answer Cancer, refer to an unspoken contract between doctor and patient that says the following. The doctor, in exchange for money, will remove unpleasant symptoms for the patient without upsetting the patient’s chosen lifestyle or habits, attitudes or feelings, judgments or beliefs. The doctor will participate in the illusion that the patient is a victim and not responsible for either the disease or its removal and return to health. The doctor will take over responsibility for the patient’s health and all decisions relevant to his health care.

Harrison puts it this way:

“I have consulted you to have my need recognized, my suffering validated, my pain removed and my disease retained. In return, I will support you financially and give you status commensurate with the powers I ask you to exercise.”6 

As Harrison further states,

“It’s this need to be taken care of by people more powerful than ourselves that leads us into taking some decisions that are damaging to us in the long term.”

This agreement between doctor and patient may eradicate symptoms, but miss the cure. It has all the dysfunctional psychodynamics of the Victim-Rescuer-Persecutor Triangle7 –the patient being the Victim, the doctor/therapist being the Rescuer, and the disease/condition being the Persecutor. Roles can switch if compliance in the game is unsatisfactory. Patients need to get out of the game and take back responsibility for their illness, and take back their power to heal.

Parkhill believes that cancer is created because of an unconscious need for self-mutilation and self-punishment. He believes that ailments in general come from an unconscious need for self-punishment, self-mutilation, or limitation. While I think it is more to it than this, I do agree with his belief that guilt, blame, criticism, fears, such as the fear of abandonment, or the fear of not surviving because essential needs are not well met, set up later illness. And to this list, I would add many other emotions and internal conflicts could be involved depending upon the illness and where it is located. 

Unraveling Bad Choices

Postulating that illness is a choice, even if it is an unconscious one, implies that there is a different choice or choices that can be made that will leading to a different outcome–one of potential health, vitality, and overall well-being. Once clear about the negative consequences of what you have been doing in diet, lifestyle, holding onto negative emtions, etc., you may be motivated to change.

Make a commitment to take positive action, start with making the most obvious and the most doable changes, and the changes most likely to make the most difference.

There are many ways of tackling this.

Self-hypnosis really helps to focus on priorities, increase motivation to do what you need to do, change negative thinking, and to release stress. Thought Stopping and Switching is a powerful tool to mental and, therefore, emotional control. Emotional Freedom Technique, Emotion Code, and Tapas Acupressure Technique also are invaluable in releasing stress, self-sabotage, and healing issues. Hypnosis, Neural Linguistic Programming, dowsing, my own Infinite Intelligence Process [see here], are all powerful in both locating and resolving issues.

Through hypnosis or Time Line Therapy you can go back in time to a choice point and make a healthier, more constructive choice that leads to health. I like the unconscious healing modality taught to me by A.L Ward, but those of other hypnosis mentors such as E. Arthur Winkler or Walter Sichort and his protege James Ramey, did something similar.

Then, you can imagine traveling into the future to a time when the problem has been satisfactorily resolved, find out how that was done, and bring that solution back to the present moment along with the resources to do it. This is called Future Pace, or Crystal Ball, or Magic Wand — all hypnosis and NLP techniques.

Or again with hypnosis, you can imagine going into a parallel universe in order to change direction to an alternate reality more of your liking. Go the station platform and change trains.



1. First published in 5/2007

2. Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, page i x.

3. Ibid, page 138-139.

4. John Harrison, M.D., Love Your Disease, page 51

5. page 46-7

6. Love Your Disease, page 59

7. The Victim-Rescuer-Persecutor Triangle is typically seen with alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers, and many of the chronically ill. The Victim uses his problem to manipulate and control others into taking over responsibility for him, bailing him out of problems, and meeting his emotional and perhaps financial needs. The Rescuer initially feels good to be of help, but later comes to feel as if he, himself, is being victimized by the very person he is trying to help, who has takes on the role of Persecutor. Rescuers are caught in this trap because they do not feel good about themselves unless they are helping those they consider more unfortunate than they. Most people in the helping profession as well as nurses and others in the healing arts start out as Rescuers. Hence, they are vulnerable to being used and abused by others. Awareness helps, but the biggest cure for this is high self-esteem and healthy boundaries.


“Illness as Choice ?” Copyright 7/2015 and expanded ad rewritten 6/2018 as “What if illness was a choice?” by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and are included with the content.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: or call 434-263-4337

Dowsing for Treasure, Missing Persons, Water, Unexploded Mines & More– Louis Matacia and daughter, Ginette Matacia Lucas

Information taken from:

Louis Matacia served as a topographical surveyor in the US Army, US Marines, Philippines and with licenses in six Eastern states. He taught dowsing techniques to US Marines to locate networks of tunnels, traps, and wires. He also used dowsing to locate oil reserves, buried treasure, water & irrigation wells, ground water, caves, tunnels, utilities, septic systems missing or lost objects or persons, and archaeological digs.

According to him, “the dowser “connects” his mental power with the molecular frequency. He taps into the ocean of information for specific answers … it does not end with getting answers for someone’s questions. Control over matter can get real. Observers of Mr. Matacia noticed that when he was dowsing in the field they could see rays of light glowing from some places close to his body. There were cases of lost time for Mr. Matacia and his associates when being in the field.” Can the human mind band time or manipulate matter? Can we communicate using our human radios with it’s unique frequencies of energy? “The energy that is not yet known to science may be the vehicle on which today’s dowsers ride to get their answers.”

Matacia says that Albert Einstein himself experimented with a variety of dowsing devices. “The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, the solution comes to you and you don’t know how or why.” “The truly valuable thing is the intuition.” – “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein.”

Dowsing over a map is called ‘teleradiesthesia’, and can be dowsed as if you are in that location. Satellite or Google maps can scanned and utilized with great results.

Matacia is author of guidebooks: Finding Treasure by Combining Science and Parapsychology, and Finding Treasure Auras. For another interesting article on Louis, see

Ginny Lucas Matacia, daughter of master dowser, Louis Matacia, was interviewed on “Blog Talk Radio”  this past March. The interview can be found here: 

Ginny is herself internationally known for her work with police, FBI, and government agencies on dead end cases, Ginny has found missing objects and people.  Her cases have been reported on CNN, NBC and written about in the Smithsonian Magazine. Read her fascinating article on finding missing persons here: 

Stress Can Be Good For You?



The problem of stress reminds me of the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. A life that is good is free of extremes, neither too hard nor too soft, but just right.

Everyone knows that too many demands that go well beyond your ability to handle are bad, and lead to exhaustion, breakdown, and illness. But too little stress is also bad because it creates stagnation, boredom, depression, and mental/emotional/spiritual rot–yes, rot!

Growth requires a stimulus, a reason to get off the couch. Just as baby birds only learn to fly when pushed out of the nest, we too need a reason, someone or something to move us forward when inertia would have us just sit there and wait for someone to bring us dinner.

Biologist Bruce Lipton says that a biological organism is either in growth or protection. While in the protective mode, all healing, all cell regeneration, all work and creative enterprise come to halt. If this goes on long enough, you die. In other words, being healthy requires you to engage in life. Worry and fear closes you down and longterm leads to illness. In simple terms, grow or die.

Having something that challenges you and requires you to grow–to apply your abilities, develop skills, learn new things, use your creativity and inventiveness to solve problems, not only generates more brain cells, and feelings of accomplishment and pride, but can also lead to a livelihood, inventions, breakthroughs, and advance civilization.  Just the right amount of hunger is actually good for you.

Tony Robbins says that all motivation is carrot or stick. The carrot is desire. Because we desire it (the pretty girl or handsome guy, the dream house or vacation), we pursue it eagerly on our own. No one has to tell us to go after it. The stick is pressure usually from outside of us that forces us to move because otherwise we would not.

Frequently, this is caused by fear. For example, the house could be on fire, you might be afraid of losing your job, home or relationship. Carrot and stick can work together to get things done. Know why you are doing what you are doing in the positive sense — what are you moving towards–and the negative consequences of not doing so.

Dealing with stress, whether too much or too little, requires tools or strategies to set goals, create a plan to reach those goals, set priorities, have ways to stay focused and make decisions, and deal with the challenges and frustrations as they arise, which they always do.

Where do you start?

Decide where you are. Do you have too much stress or too little? In other words, are you overwhelmed, or are you feeling bored and empty?

If you are feeling too much stress, then you might start with deep breathing, exercise, and meditation. List what you have to do and set priorities. Identify what you need to do to solve any problems and enlist those who can help you. Then set timelines as a target.

Learn and practice any of the multiple stress management practices such as self-hypnosis, EFT (the Emotional Freedom Technique), Tapas Acupressure, the Emotion Code, Walking Mantras,  the Infinite Intelligence Process,  etc. Periodically, get away from the stress with humor, happy music, singing, dancing, fun, being with people that love and care about you, being out in nature or some other beautiful environment.

If you have too little stress, you need to get some dreams. What would be fun or interesting? What would make your spirit sing? What would give your life meaning and purpose? Make a bucket list and start somewhere. It doesn’t matter how old you are–any age will do. However, you do need to create a plan, a strategy, and follow all the guidelines of successful goal setting.

If you cannot think of what you would like, then volunteer, or just do something for someone else, for animals, for the environment or your community — just do some good somewhere, even random acts of kindness.

Whether the problem is too much or too little stress, having a buddy, coach or mentor to work along with you or to hold you accountable is a great way to stay on track.


Goldilocks is a fairy tale stemming from early 19th Century England. See or for the short story see

Bruce Lipton, PhD. , stem cell biologist, and author of The Biology of Belief. See

Tony Robbins is a motivational speaker, personal growth guru, life coach, and author. See

Walking Mantras is an invention of mine. It is a way of doing self-hypnosis with your eyes open. Repeat a short, rhythmical sentence or phrase while moving at a steady pace. Full self-hypnosis instruction is in Your Unlimited Potential, available through me and my website,

The Infinite Intelligence Process is a three-pronged method of dealing with stress, problem solving, and manifesting. The full instruction is in my book, Accessing More.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and  are included with the content.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: or call 434-263-4337


Dowsing for Health

cropped-bio-pic2.pngNote: That while the author reserves the rights to copyright for the article below, it may be reposted/reprinted in any free venue with full credit given to Roxanne Louise, the author,, and

There are many ways to address health issues. One way is to think of it as an energy overload. The body breaks down when more demands are made upon it than the body can handle. It is a lot like a checking account. Just as more money has to be in your account to cover the checks drawn against it or they will bounce, there has to be an abundance of energy reserves for you to be healthy. And just as it costs more in fines to pay the banks and creditors if your checkbook does become overdrawn, it costs more energy, time and money to heal than it does to stay healthy. Consequently, it is commonsense to build up abundant energy reserves to remain healthy and to heal if you are not.

Figure out how to

1. get more energy in and to, and to 

2. stop energy from leaking out. 

Energy reserves can be built up through good nutrition, sleep, loving/supportive relationships, fun and laughter, meaning and purpose in life, prayer, meditation and spiritual practices, exercise, energy work, rest and relaxation, various healing modalities, bodywork, music, deep breathing, gratitude, beauty, pets, and more. Besides sensible self-care, what lifts your spirits? What makes your soul sing? What puts a smile on your face and peace in your heart? Focus on these.

Anything that increases your energy level will help you to be and remain healthy.

While most people think of stress as just mental and emotional issues, challenges and problems, the truth is that anything that pulls energy from your system can be considered a stressor in the larger sense of the word. This includes toxins from all sources, allergens, hard to digest foods, chemicals in the air – both outside as from pollution and chemtrails, and inside as from in the paints, upholstery, carpets, insulation, building materials, and cleaning products, water, personal care products, detergent, etc. Other stressors include EMF (electrical/magnetic frequencies), pathological earth energies, mental and emotional conflicts, indecision, unresolved trauma, stuck energies, and more. Furthermore, stress can come from happy, welcome events such as getting married, having a baby, moving into your dream home or job, or going on vacation, not just unwelcome situations.

If you already have a health issue, you need to locate and clear the root cause and major contributing causes of the problem. This can include 

  • karma
  • life path
  • soul contract/lesson
  • apprenticeship training
  • psychic attack or energy vampires
  • past lives
  • imprints
  • negative beliefs and judgments
  • stuck emotions
  • genetics
  • absorption from ancestors/culture/community
  • family role
  • secondary gain
  • shadow issues
  • fascination or focusing on the problem
  • pathogens- bacterial/viral/fungal
  • injury – current or past
  • body language
  • metaphysical meaning and more.

Releasing stress frees up energy not only to heal but to revitalize your life.

Using/Making Dowsing Charts and Checklists

Dowsing, as you know, uses both hemispheres of the brain. The analytical part is a great asset to list all the variables involved. Take a piece of paper and just brainstorm any possible areas to clear or investigate. Consider making the following charts or checklists on the following topics.

1. First, create a percentage chart.

You can simply write all the numbers from 0 to 10

Or you can write (or imagine in the air) a half circle, with 0 at the far left, 50 % at the top center, 100% at the far right, and 25 and 75% mid line between those numbers.

2. Create a Master Chart for Enhancing Health and then detailed charts for each subcategory as needed.

List all of all of the things you know or suspect can enhance health, and then transfer to a chart when complete. Below is a partial list.

Enhancing Health by Getting Energy In:

  • Diet
  • Supplements
  • Homeopathic or Aromatherapy Aids
  • Sleep, and ways to enhance it
  • Relationships
  • Meaning and Purpose
  • Gratitude
  • Healing Modalities –
  • traditional
  • nontraditional
  • Fun and Recreation
  • Spiritual, Prayer, Meditation,  Other Spirit Renewal
  • Fresh Air
  • Exercise
  • Being in Nature, etc.

3. Create a Master Chart for Plugging Energy Leaks and then detailed charts for each subcategory as needed. A partial list is below.

Plugging the Energy Leaks. Clear the following:

  • Negative Emotions
  • Traumas
  • Responsibilities – delegate/rethink/let go of
  • Negative Beliefs, Judgments
  • Improve/Change Attitude
  • Toxicity – clear
  • Conflicts – resolve
  • Practical Problems – get assistance

4. Create a Chart for Stress Management Aids. List various tools such as

  • EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
  • Self Hypnosis
  • Emotion Code
  • Infinite Intelligence Process (See Accessing More–Tapping Into the Eternal Unlimited Self book)
  •  Happy, Calming or Inspirational Music
  • Prayer or Meditation
  • Journal Writing
  • List and Set Priorities
  • Get a Buddy/Mentor
  • Get Professional Help
  • Exercise, etc.

When it comes to illness, stress is both chicken and egg. 

Stress not only causes health challenges, but health challenges cause stress. Upsetting emotions and overload are a usual result. There are many decisions to be made, help to find and get to in order to heal, help to find to take over your own responsibilities, money to pay for all of it, etc. So having stress management tools that you can use is vital.

Healing involves dealing with immediate issues and practical problems as well as looking towards the long-term and permanent healing if possible. 

For example, if you have a broken leg, the immediate task after setting the bone, is to figure out how to get from the bed to the toilet to the kitchen and cook, to wash and dress, etc. Next, will be how to get to the doctor’s office,  to work if possible, etc. Later, it will be to learn to walk without crutches or a walker or cane, to undergo physical therapy to regain as much mobility as possible.

Dowsing can help with every aspect of the healing process. And along with intent, a crucial aspect of dowsing, visualization is also vital. Vividly imagine both the next phase of healing as well as the desired end result. Engage your emotions as you do so, and enlarge your belief in it being possible.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see more articles on our blog, or our website: or call 434-263-4337


Secondary Gain – A Gain from Pain

Santa Cruz Vending 7:16 copy

Secondary gain is a benefit gained from having a problem.

This benefit is perceived by your unconscious mind to be of such importance that it actually creates the problem or prevents it from being easily resolved.

The unconscious mind thinks the pain is worth the gain. It thinks that it is helping you in some important way, perhaps by protecting you from some threat or helping you to obtain something important.

It can be something you learned.

Somewhere you made a connection. You learned that when x happens, y results. It might be something you discover yourself by accident after it occurs the first time. Or you may have witnessed it or learned it from someone else.

Regardless of how the connection is made, once the benefit to be gained is known unconsciously, it can become part of the dynamics driving behavior and impacting your well being.

This usually happens because you don’t know how to, don’t feel able to, or are frustrated in getting your needs made in a more direct, constructive way.

For example, Grandma gets sick and goes into the hospital. While there, all of her grandchildren come and visit–something that doesn’t happen very often. Grandma is delighted to see them. When Grandma gets well and goes home, every one’s lives go back to normal, which means that the grandchildren again become absorbed in their own personal affairs, ignoring the emotional needs of their elder. One day Grandma is desperately missing her family. Her unconscious mind, which is aware of her need, causes Grandma have a relapse and go back into the hospital.

Was it conscious? No. But her unconscious mind learned that being sick gets her the love and attention she craves from the people that matter most to her. Being sick solved a need of higher priority. To prevent this from happening again, Grandma, in addition to doing whatever she needs to do to become healthier, needs to become more proactive in satisfying her emotional needs, perhaps vocalizing them directly, calling her grandchildren regularly, and figuring out a way to go and visit them.

Here’s another example. Let’s say that you are supposed to show up for an event at which your ex spouse/lover will attend with a new love. Because you really don’t want to see or be around that your ex or meet your replacement, your unconscious mind may give you a “headache”. Now you have a way to avoid uncomfortable feelings, and an excuse not to go without feeling bad of letting other people down. While it may be uncomfortable or embarrassing to go, or telling the hostess that you are not ready to confront your ex,

it is in only in taking prompt, fearless action to address your legitimate needs that you obtain greater health and happiness.

Imagine that you have been injured and now receive disability benefits. Healing will mean giving up the financial security you receive from the income and medical benefits. It may mean returning to a job you didn’t like, that may have made you feel stressed or unappreciated, and to be expected to resume responsibilities that you found overwhelming or depleting. Disability solves many problems for you and gives you many benefits that will be lost if you get better.

If your unconscious mind perceives that being incapacitated satisfies more important needs, it will  block healing.

Examples of Secondary Gain

If you are a dowser, you can dowse out if any of these are operating with you. The list includes

  • getting help,
  • time,
  • sympathy,
  • attention,
  • demonstrations of caring,
  • avoiding responsibility,
  • getting out of something you don’t want to do,
  • getting permission to do something you do want to do,
  • getting away from people or situations you don’t like,
  • getting time off,
  • casting the die when you can’t make the decision for yourself,
  • checking on the feelings of others,
  • letting others know you need them,
  • pulling family together,
  • getting people off of your back,
  • obtaining financial benefit,
  • punishing yourself for real or perceived misdeeds,
  • atoning for guilt or shame or other perceived wrongdoing, etc.
  • Secondary gain can also be a part of or related to self-sabotage especially where guilt is involved.

A tip off:

If you feel relief after the problem occurs, for example, if you are more relaxed after you make the phone call to not go to the event you were worried about, you can be sure that secondary gain is involved.

How to address this with dowsing and other methods

Brainstorm possible causes/remedies as categorized below,  and then dowse out. Once you locate causative factors and the percentage strength of each, use intent with dowsing to clear/heal/resolve any further need for it to continue. Then check with dowsing for the percentage of problem remaining.

Besides clearing with dowsing, you can use EFT (the Emotional Freedom Technique), Emotion Code, Tapas Accupressure Technique, Infinite Intelligence Process [see article Roxanne]sd, self-hypnosis, various NLP techniques and more. Use intent, strong emotion joined with positive expectancy to broadcast your intention to the universe.

1. Make any possible, underlying dynamics conscious. 

Become aware of what benefits you are getting from the problem whether you set it up or not.

2. Know the price you pay.

While playing the role of “poor me or victim” may get you some sympathy and attention, it does so at a cost. And the truth is that you get pity, not love. You get company from people paid to take care of you, or out of obligation, not just because people really want to be with you.

3. Identify constructive ways to get the same benefits without any or with less negative side effects.

4. Become proactive.

Deliberately practice direct, constructive ways to obtain your needs until they become a habit. You can even rehearse these behaviors in your mind over and over to speed up the time that it takes to become an automatic response.

5. Learn and practice stress management

6. Deal with past traumas

7. Enhance coping skills

8. Enhance self-esteem

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and  are included with the content.

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