What I Learned From One Year of Hell

18 Feb 2023 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in Hypnosis, Reiki, Dowsing and Self-Help Tags: , , , ,

One of three presentations I will be giving at this year’s National Guild of Hypnotists Convention taking place in August in Marlborough, Massachusetts is “What I Learned From One Year Of Hell – Undoing the Trauma Caused By Those With Narcissistic Personality Disorder”. Consequently, I am reposting a revision of an earlier blog “Why Shit Happens – Part 2” that provides some background and food for thought.

Now, I have been writing about THE WHY behind problems and suffering for a long time, such as this blog post, “When Manifestation Doesn’t Work: https://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com/ 2016/03/17/why-shit-happens-or-doesnt/ . (See many more relevant blog posts listed in the links at the end.)

Yet, here I was forced to revisit this topic once more because during most of 2021 – 2022, not only was I (like all of us) dealing with the stress of covid, but I had to deal with a potentially dangerous, personal situation that went on with tenants living on my farm.

Initially, I thought that this couple was an answer to my prayers for tenants that would be “better than the best I could possibly imagine” . I was praying to manifest renters that would have a variety of useful skills to help me on the farm, and a desire to support each other if needed in these highly unstable times.

Yet, instead of a dream come true, it turned into nightmare as their facade, their voiced intentions, their background turned out to be a total sham. While I suspect that they may have been conducting some criminal enterprise on my property, they acted crazy, and seemed emotionally unstable, unpredictable, and as I said, potentially dangerous.

Very quickly this couple tried to usurp my authority as landlord, violating multiple terms of the lease and pre-established policies. Through continuous harassment, they tried to prevent myself, workmen or other tenants from walking or driving down my own farm road that bordered on their rental space. They tried to insist upon a buffer zone that would allow them privacy from even eyesight of their cabin. They wanted to control when and why I could use my rear access road – a road that was already specified in their lease was not part of their rental space but in fact was shared in part with other property owners.

Reason, logic, and respectful dialog with them was impossible, and I was completely baffled by their behavior. They refused to accept my wishes or attempts to explain the lease and policies. I was confused, frustrated about being unable to get through to them, and they were causing chaos, increasing tension and division on the farm.

Things came to a head when only six months in, they built a wooden ‘glass blowing’ shed onto the 1880’s log cabin they were renting – a shed in which they would be using an open flame torch. This was an insurance risk, fire code violation, and in direct opposition to my instructions. A month later, they started erecting a two-story addition onto the home – without permission, permit, and in violation of building codes and insurance. They incessantly lied that I had given them permission to erect both buildings.

When I objected to what they had done, myself and my workmen were subjected to intense intimidation and threats that required the intervention of the Sheriff. When I served them with an eviction notice, they countersued me in court for thousands of dollars based completely on lies. That is when I discovered that both of them had a police record.

Things got increasingly ugly to where the Sheriff had to be called again because another workman and myself were threatened with physical violence. This very tense situation went on for about 18 months, 8? court appearances, and 1 full year after serving them the eviction order. They are finally gone, and it is over, but not before the man threatened to sue me for defamation of character for writing the earlier edition of this very blog post. My lawyer, however, says that freedom of speech is still part of the Constitution, and that truth is the best defense.

So how or why did this happen and most importantly,

WHAT CAN I LEARN FROM THIS?
What made my manifestation efforts go so horribly wrong?

  • Was I too gullible?
  • Was I too confident in my own instincts to know a good person from one who is not?
  • Was I still carrying left over baggage from previous tenants that had not worked out?
  • Was my mind so focused on other bad experiences and what I didn’t want that I attracted more negative?
  • Was I so smitten because they said everything I wanted to hear, that I did not take sufficient time to find out who they actually were?
  • Was my ability to see the good in everyone (something that helps me to help my therapy clients) working against me in the arena of their landlord and employer?
  • Was I vulnerable because I had never met malicious narcissists before and did not recognize the signs?
  • Was I too much in a hurry to re-rent the place and get much needed income?
  • Was my lease current and hole proof?
  • Was this part of a soul contract to hold them accountable?
  • Was this part of a soul lesson for me as a way to grow?
  • Was it scripted into my life plan as an opportunity to heal from something unresolved ?
  • Did I have bad karma?
  • Did I have a karmic past life relationship with one or both of these people?
  • Did I fail to do due diligence by not getting a background check?
  • And why did not dowsing not work to protect me?

While there is some merit to the Law of Attraction and “you create your own reality”, to reduce all causation to what you were or were not thinking or feeling is not only blaming, but massively simplistic. It misses the bigger picture. And all the positive thoughts in the world do not eliminate many other factors a few of which include your inexperience, ignorance or naiveté, your ability to accurately discern the will, agenda and true character of others, the free will of others, the higher intention of Divine Spirit, and the problem of evil.

Spiritual leader Panache Desai and author of YOU ARE ENOUGH says that

“everything you’ve gone through you’ve gone through to help another human being, to be of service to the world ….it is not personal.”

While I don’t believe that service to others is the reason why shit happens,
deliberately turning your personal misfortune into helping someone else either avoid a similar problem, or to help him deal with it in an easier, faster way is a powerful way of healing your own pain.

Turn the trauma of drama into a blessing for someone else, and it will bless you as well.

Wring some good out of it. My skill as a hypnotherapist and dowser specializing in mental/emotional healing is a direct result of what I have learned of value from my own painful or stressful experiences.

In a scene from the movie, Gone With The Wind, Scarlett O’Hara frantically goes out to the garden to find something, anything to eat. She finds a carrot and rips it out of the ground, and then shakes her fist at Heaven to declare that she will never be hungry again. She uses her hunger to declare what she wants to experience and fuels it with forceful energy, thus fulfilling the basics of manifestation:

clear thought + strong emotion.

Make a decision that a blessing or gift is going to come out of your problem.
IT IS A DECISION! IT IS NOT HOPE or WISH or WOULD BE NICE IF….

You then will be looking for it or deliberately create one. Or as the saying goes,

“when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

Painful experiences push us to seek help, to learn and to grow.

Universe may provide them to us as an answer to a prayer for wisdom, or for discernment. They can be meant to be a GIFT from God, not a punishment. Never think of yourself as a victim as it drains your personal power and ability to respond effectively.

So if your problems are the result of inexperience, ignorance or sheer stupidity, accept it and learn. Now you know. And if it was painful, it will help you to remember that lesson. But problems are not always that. They may be precisely what you need to change course in life – to stop what you are doing, or to start what you are not doing (get off the couch).

The 12-Step Programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, say that is in ‘hitting bottom’ that the road out of addiction begins. And it precisely those who struggled with addiction and became clean and sober that can be the most help to others wanting to do the same.

Pain is a powerful motivator to heal.

But the personal growth that occurs as a result goes way beyond the resolution of a particular problem, but spills over into many other areas as well.

Recently, I was listening to a sermon by Dean Wolfe, Rector of St. Bartholomew’s Church in Manhattan on the topic of suffering. Rev. Wolfe quotes St. Paul as saying that

“suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”

According to St. Paul, God does not test us, or allow us to be tested beyond our endurance, but provides a way out for us. St. Peter even says that

“persecution is a kind of testing to develop a deeper belief in Christ, to strengthen character, and to deepen commitment to God.”

My opinion is that hardship can destroy you, but to survive it, you will be required to dig deep into your core and grow stronger.

Over one two week period in my own saga, I was so stressed out that I felt that I was at my breaking point. I have NEVER been brought so low. Besides being threatened again by my tenants, they initiated an emergency hearing for a Court Injunction based totally on lies in an effort to ban me off my own road, and extract significant financial damages from me. But out of it, I dug down much deeper within myself to anchor firmly on the truth of who I am (“a powerful, spiritual Being endowed with dignity, direction and purpose”). This is along the lines of the hymn ‘My Hope is Built on Nothing Less’, (https:// my.hymnary.org/song/dynamic/36/my_hope_is_built_on_nothing_less?toolkit=veroviostatic :

“On Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.”

This saying is not just for Christians, but for all people to find the rock, the truths, the things of substance upon which they can rely and which support them to weather severe emotional storms. As Canadian psychologist, author, and media commentator, Jordan Peterson asks “where do you derive your values?” Peterson also says:

The predator is calling the prey to be a better version of itself. What must you become?

He says that you should and can be more than you are.

In my own case, I was called to reclaim my power, establish clear and firm boundaries, assert my authority as landlord, and forcefully to declare ownership of what was rightfully mine. I was also being called to be a prayer warrior. In the process, I dug deep into my own past life history, as well as possible ancestral wounds or common traumas shared by all of humanity that were being triggered and acerbating the stress.

Courtney Brown, Director of the Farsight Institute in their Farsight Intelligence Briefing March 2022: How to REALLY Create Your Own Reality TRAILER ( https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=8IUTzRS2eNk ) points out yet another value to shit happening. He says that is is only by clearly seeing the negative that you can know what you want to create instead.

“You have to know what you don’t want to know what you do want.”

He claims that just ignoring the negative and thinking only positive thoughts keeps you a slave to those who are doing bad things. You can only navigate through life when you clearly see reality – the good and the bad. It is the contrast between them that is essential to creating the reality you want.

Indeed, it is the awareness of things that could go wrong that leads engineers to design better, safer, more reliable products, that has parents teaching their children to look both ways before they cross the street, and that requires training for people wanting to drive a vehicle or fly a plane. And it was precisely because of experiencing the abuses of power that our Founding Fathers built certain protections and limitations on government when they constructed our own Constitution and Bill of Rights.

Awareness of problems that have happened in the past and the potential for where and how they might happen again is not being negative but a vital part of wisdom and experience for which we pay people big bucks. When joined with alertness and prudent care and action, it is good common sense and protective.

Wisdom is what you learn through experience.

While we each may wish to avoid problems and just have a pleasant life with everything ‘coming of roses’, such a life will never push us to reach our full potential, develop our character, and grow in wisdom and strength, or to be a beacon of hope and a role model for our children.

So should we be grateful for our problems? Well…..

Well…. in the beginning it is hard to see how some good can come out of it. But once we earnestly work to resolve the matter, we may notice how much we were being called to grow, heal old wounds, get rid of our inner demons, deal with an addiction or other self-sabotaging behavior, destructive relationship, life sucking job, or dead end situation of any kind. Many people in reflecting back have found that such event did indeed turn out to be precisely what they needed to get their life on track, make peace with the past, reconnect to those that love them or make new meaningful relationships.

Regardless of knowing in advance how things will turn out and if they will be in the way you want, resolve to grow stronger and wiser as a result. Let your war cry be:

TURN IT INTO A BLESSING!

See these other related blog articles also:

https://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com/2017/09/14/the-tangled-web-of-choices-that-create- our-reality/

https://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com/2020/05/04/man-meant-it-for-evil-but-god-meant-it- for-good/

https://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com/2018/06/07/blessings-in-disguise/ https://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com/2019/06/16/on-grief-and-suffering/ https://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com/2015/10/02/the-good-the-bad-the-confusing/

https://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com/2016/01/27/dealing-with-challenge-find-the-blessing- or-the-opportunity/

Honor the Negative – it has something important to tell you!

12 Feb 2023 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in anger management, Hypnosis, Reiki, Dowsing and Self-Help, mind-control Tags: , , , ,

It helps to think of the so-called ‘negative’ emotions like anger, hatred, jealousy, etc. and the thoughts behind them as simply communication from your inner self. This is more productive than instantly judging them and sinking into self condemnation for thinking and feeling as you do, or to quickly deny them and stuff them in the closet of your subconscious mind where they remain hidden as part of the Shadow Self, but act out in passive-aggressive and destructive ways.

Before you can do anything about the underpinning of your uncomfortable feelings, you have first to honestly acknowledge your emotions and then uncover the thoughts or judgments behind them no matter how repugnant they are to admit and how damaging to your self opinion as a good, evolved, or spiritual person. Growth and healing starts with self-honesty, self-forgiveness and then self-examination. From there you can challenge those thoughts as all is not as it sometimes seems. For example, your anger can arise because of limited or inaccurate information. As Byron Katie, creator of ‘The Work‘ says

  • Is it true?
  • Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

The Emotional Freedom Technique

“Even though I ____” [feel, think, did, didn’t____], “I deeply love and accept myself.”

One of the reasons for the tremendous healing results from practicing the Emotional Freedom Technique as taught by Gary Craig (https://emofree.com/) is this above set-up phrase. Admitting our ‘faults’, negative judgments, pain, wrong action, problem, etc, and then forgiving and choosing to love ourself anyway, not only reduces enormous stress, but helps to forgive and love others as well thereby improving our relationships.

Let’s start with some examples of the shoulds and should nots as they are frequently a part in creating the Shadow Self.

Thou Should Not!

  • I shouldn’t get angry!
  • I shouldn’t want to strangle ____ (my children/cat/husband, etc)!
  • I shouldn’t hate my ___ (mother-in-law, my boss, co-worker, neighbor, etc.)!

Thou Should!

  • I should love everyone all the time!
  • I should forgive everyone for everything!
  • I should be always calm, peaceful, patient, & willing to help!
  • I should put other people’s needs always ahead of my own!
  • I should be grateful for everything!

Whatever injunction you place on yourself can be put onto others as in They Should or Shouldn’t____ and this will translate negatively on to your relationships.

I have often joked that the people that most needed to be in church or temple were already there. That is because when someone so needs to think of themself as a good, God fearing person worthy to be a part of that religious community, they often deny their own hateful thoughts and are acting from their Shadow – the dark underbelly of the unconscious mind. What is denied cannot be healed.

IN SUMMARY

Don’t rush into denying or trying to quickly erase your ‘negative’ thoughts and feelings. Rather take a moment to go deeper without condemning yourself or trying to cover it over with ‘positive’ thinking, affirmations, etc. Your emotions are valuable communication from your subconscious mind. Honor them as stemming from something deeper within yourself. Look at it. Perhaps challenge it. And then work to resolve what needs to be resolved, heal what needs to be healed, learn what needs to be learnt, and clear what needs to be cleared in a way that leads to real emotional growth and wisdom.

Copyright 2/12/23 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

The Shadow Knows!

21 Jun 2022 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in Hypnosis, Reiki, Dowsing and Self-Help Tags: , ,

I don’t understand it–he was such a nice guy!

Many times we hear of someone that went ballistic, going on a rampage that resulted in hurting or killing others. Tension that had been building up within them for years with no way to regularly and safely escape finally exploded and went terribly wrong precisely because it had been denied so long. Perhaps the individual had been subjected to tremendous abuse while not being allowed to express his own anger or defend himself. Perhaps despite being grossly mistreated, he was nonetheless pressured to  ‘be nice’, polite, reasonable, accommodating or pleasing when no one was showing the same towards him. And then under stress came the ‘one too many’ times he felt mistreated, and the facade dropped and his rage let loose.

Finding your Shadow.

Whatever is unhealed, especially those unacknowledged hidden and denied aspects called the “Shadow”, has a nasty habit of cropping up in inappropriate, exaggerated emotional reactions and behaviors that sabotage not only one’s peace of mind, relationships, both personal and professional, but cause conflict in society as a whole. Shadow issues, precisely because they are hidden or denied, resist resolution.

Triggers are a gift!

Your Shadow and unhealed wounds are revealed by the things that trigger you. As such, recognizing your triggers is enormously helpful to identify precisely where your energies are stuck, and where you still have work to do no matter how much time has elapsed and despite how much work you have already done to resolve negative repeating patterns. Armed with that knowledge, you can now focus precisely where you need to finally free yourself of such issues. 

Healing and Reclaiming Hidden Parts of the Self

When you judge someone as stupid, or as a loser, irresponsible or lazy, consider that somewhere deep inside you are judging yourself as the same and that is precisely why you hate that person—they are your mirror!

If you can uncover, forgive and accept both your conscious and unconscious negative self-judgments, you will be more tolerant of others as you acknowledge your common humanity. This leads to better relationships in all areas of life.

The Shadow indicates what you repress, what you do not allow yourself to admit or express. Start with a willingness to look at yourself honestly. Regardless of what you uncover, you are still worthy of love. You still have phenomenal worth as a human being. The shame is not in being where you are right now, but in being unwilling to learn or grow, to try to do better. All of us starts off pooping in our pants and sucking our thumbs. But eventually if we take responsibility for how we are acting, we learn, heal and grow more and more into our infinite potential as a human being.

What is hidden, denied or suppressed is not all bad!

The Shadow holds both light and dark aspects of the self. It can hide wonderful things that are denied or suppressed because they are considered not practical, not lucrative, or thought undesirable by your family, group, religion or social class. Such denied positive aspects can include your talents and unique gifts, power, brilliance, earthy, and sexual or raw energy that gives you passion and zest for life.

There is a time and place for everything!

Hidden within the Shadow can be a ferocious, angry Mama Bear that protects her cubs, or a frightening Warlord that scares away the enemies that are endangering the tribe. The Dragon draws a line in the sand over which someone else dare not cross. The Bitch doesn’t put up with bullshit or mince words with manipulative, exploitative people. The Witch uses energy, visualizations, and intent to manifest desired outcomes. The trick is in knowing when and where to give expression to the Shadow. Giving the Shadow archetypes appropriate expression heals them.

“I recognize and forgive in myself what irritates me about you.” 

Decades ago, hypnosis colleague Doreen Virtue taught me the above phrase. As I repeated this sentence and thought about someone’s offensive nature or behavior, I was able to recognize the same traits or behavior within myself. I saw that I once acted the same way or I had wanted to. I saw my shadow in the other person. As a result of using this sentence, I found myself becoming less judgmental, less rigid, and more forgiving of others even while trying to maintain my own standards for myself.

Using the Hawaiian Practice of Ho’Oponopono

Another exercise that has helped me to both recognize and heal my Shadow is how I have adapted Dr. Hew Len’s 4 Steps: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.” Psychologist Dr. Len repeated these four phrases over and over while holding the case records of the inmates that were incarcerated in a special ward for the criminally insane at Hawaii’s state hospital. His diligent practice had such a powerful therapeutic effect upon the inmates that within four years the ward closed because it was no longer needed. The inmates had so rapidly improved that they were moved into halfway houses or able to re-enter the general community.

My Version of Ho’Oponopono

“I am sorry for whatever is within me, my relatives or ancestors in this or any other lifetime that attracted, allowed, caused or contributed to this ___ (illness, condition, state, feeling, tendency, behavior, situation, problem, event, experience, or issue) in any way.

Please forgive me. Please forgive all of us. Please correct any erroneous thoughts in my consciousness and/or our shared consciousness that is at all responsible.

Thank you for bringing to my attention what needs to heal within myself. (Addressed to God:) Thank you for bringing love, healing, harmony and balance into this for the highest good of all. Thank you for healing any resonance with the problem within myself, and correcting any errors in my consciousness and humanity’s shared consciousness.

I love you, ____ (my own name, my name for the Divine). I love you ____ (name of other person) in that I recognize our common humanity.”

Copyright by Roxanne Louise, 2022. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Lifting Connected Consciousness Meditation

24 Jun 2021 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in Hypnosis, Reiki, Dowsing and Self-Help Tags: , , ,

FREE live session on Sunday, June 27

at 7:30 PM Eastern US time.

Dial 605-313-5141. Enter Participant Code: 92619# at the prompt.

This session will be recorded so sign up for the live broadcast and the link to the recording by sending an email to Roxanne@RoxanneLouise.com

Recently Roxanne Louise gave a presentation entitled “Lifting Connected Consciousness” and 3 meditations expanding upon that topic at the American Society of Dowsers Conference, June 11-13, 2021. The live session will serve both to summarize some key points of that presentation, answer questions, and lead everyone into a meditation to energetically to raise both our own state and to generate positive energy for the planet.

Join us by tuning in. And if you provide your email to Roxanne@RoxanneLouise.com, you will be sent a link to receive the recording of such call.

Share with others, and relisten to the meditation as often as you deem helpful.

PUBLISHED: Releasing Anger without Killing Anyone!

26 Jun 2017 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in anger management, attitude, dealing with fear, healing your past, Hypnosis, problem solving, self help, stress management Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Just Published!!!!

beartoons-anger    Cartoon citation: beartoons.com

Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone!

by Roxanne Louise

An entire Anger Management Course!

Teach right out of the book!

Use it to help yourself! Use it to help others! 

A jam-packed guide on how to:

√ Turn anger into a blessing! 

√ Shift anger into constructive action! 

√ Use your challenges to improve yourself, your business, relationships & your life!

    • Understand the underlying dynamics! 
    • Change how you look at things so that they don’t bother you nearly as much! 
    • Make your enemies & problems help you! 
    • Harness anger as motivation to heal & make much needed change! 
    • Communicate more effectively! 
    • Fight clean! 
    • Stop conversations from spiraling downwards! 
    • Notice negative patterns & screw them up! 
    • Take effective action without the baggage!
    • Enjoy your life despite the crap!

Jam Packed Tips, Strategies, Techniques & Visualizations! 

Turn Everything Into a Blessing!

154 pages. Just $29.95 plus $5 shipping.  Order here: https://www.roxannelouise.com/releasing-anger.html

In addition to covering this information with clients over the years, I have taught this material at numerous hypnosis conventions including workshops at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention and the National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists.

 

Hypnosis for Cancer (and other) Diseases

09 Aug 2016 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in Hypnosis, Hypnosis Training, Hypnosis, Reiki, Dowsing and Self-Help, mind-body healing Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I have just put the finishing touches of my presentation “Hypnosis for Cancer (and other) Patients–Make a Powerful Healing Difference!” that I am teaching this week at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention. It is jam packed with information that can used immediately to address the multiple mental, emotional or even spiritual factors that are involved in any disease or health challenge!

I have been so inspired by working on this presentation that I expect it to expand in the near future into an extensive training manual with accompanying dvd’s/cd’s for professionals, and a self-help training program for the layman.

Your Input Please

If you working in this field as a  professional, I would be very interested in what you are doing. If you have or have had a health challenge and found things beyond the medical treatment that made a positive healing difference, I would like to know about it.

My Assistance Offered

If you as a professional would like ideas on additional things that you can do to help your patients to address the mental/emotional or even spiritual components of disease, or if you as an individual are currently faced with a health challenge, please let me know how I can be of service to you. I may well add specific information that can assist you in what will be my future project or even give you ideas over the phone. You can contact me directly at roxannelouise2@gmail.com or at 434-263-4337 (my home office in central Virginia).

Workshop Information

My upcoming workshop # 220906 will be given at 9 AM this Saturday morning, August 13 at the National Guild of Hypnosis Convention to be held in Marlborough, Massachusetts. You can still sign up to attend at their convention website. Recordings will be available for purchase for those unable to attend.

This venue is the largest hypnosis conference in the world, and one which honored me with a lifetime achievement award, the Order of the Braid (named after James Braid, one of the earliest hypnotist/physicians in London in the 19th century).

Thoughts Carry a Train

11 Mar 2016 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in Hypnosis, Hypnosis, Reiki, Dowsing and Self-Help, self help Tags: , , , ,

And how to derail that train when you don’t like where it is going!

Today, I heard about the death of a friend’s family member, and also of a hypnosis colleague giving a workshop on how to deal with grief and loss. This brought up some thoughts and memories of my own of how thoughts connect to similar thoughts taking us to a predictable emotional conclusion.

One of my clients was setting up a meeting at Windows on the World restaurant on top of the World Trade Center on 9/11. Located on the 107th floor of the north tower with a conference facility on the 106th floor, with commanding views of the city, it was a popular destination with building occupants, tourists, and city residents (the restaurant served about 800 dinners nightly).

When the first hijacked plane crashed into the north tower at 8:46 am, the restaurant had regular breakfast patrons on the 107th floor and a conference for the Risk Water Group on the 106th floor. About 73 employees and an unidentified number of patrons died in the fire and building collapse. One of my clients, Luke Dudek, was among those killed.

The last time I saw Luke was at a mutual friend’s funeral, that of Rodney DeMichael. Rodney had been on the Board of Advisors for my business, Unlimited Potential. As a dear friend, social worker, counselor, founder and head of the Center for Eating Disorders in Livingston, NJ, Rodney had served  as most valued guide and mentor when I had questions about or needed help with a client, especially where I suspected that such client or prospective client had mental or emotional issues that required specialized professional treatment beyond my expertise as a hypnotherapist.

Rodney had been brought in also to lecture on psychopathology to my advanced, professional hypnotherapy students. When he got ill, he came weekly to the Reiki Sharing Clinic I ran. Over the years, many of my students and graduates worked on him, some even traveling to the hospital during his final stay.

So Luke’s death brought up memories of Rodney’s death, Rodney’s funeral and the silly hat I wore just for his benefit, thoughts about his life, my association with him, my student’s associations with him, and his friends and family. It also brought up times I myself had been at Windows on the World, the magnificent crystals there that were the size of small elephants, the woman (another client) that sold those crystals to the restaurant from her mine in South America, and her crystal shop in Montclair, NJ. Further, Luke’s and Rodney’s deaths also brought up memories of my father’s death, that of other family members, and on and on.

Thoughts hitch to other thoughts that carry you to a predictable emotional destination!

Carolyn Myss once was explaining how to understand someone’s conversation, you have to dig down into your own memory banks for similar associations. So if someone is talking about cupcakes, you have to do an internal search for anything to do with cupcakes yourself just to understand what is being said, let alone to respond.

The outcome is that if you have any emotions tied to any of your cupcake associations, it brings up those old emotions, memories, and all related associations as well.  Anything yet unresolved that is related to the issue or topic at hand as well as to any of the free associations that resurface is added to what is going on now, and it happens in lightning speed much as Alice plunging down the rabbit hole.

Early on in my hypnosis practice, I had a client that taught me how thoughts hitch to other thoughts that carry you to a predictable destination much as coupling train cars together on a pre-determined track. You can clearly foretell the expected emotional outcome from the content of the thoughts if you catch them fast enough. If such thought associations happen often enough, it runs a groove that turns it into a habit.

‘Sarah’ (not her real name) came to me because she was sick, worried and depressed. She had multiple issues: Epstein Barr, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, etc. Not surprisingly when she woke up in the morning, her first thought was “I feel sick.” This connected to another thought, “If I’m sick, then I can’t go to work.” From there, the next thought was “If I can’t go to work, I’ll lose my job.” Next came, “if I lose my job, I’m going to lose my apartment.” Next was, “if I lose my apartment, I’m going to lose custody of my son.” Finally, the thought came, “if I lose my son, I might as well kill myself.” So from the first thought, “I feel sick”, she was rapidly in suicidal depression.

Because this thought pattern happened so frequently, I had to teach her how to derail her train of thoughts to take her to, hopefully, another emotional destination. So for the usual “I feel sick”, therefore, “I can’t go to work”, I taught her to say “at what I usually do. So what can I do?  What can I do from home to earn an income? Oh, I used to be an Editor. Maybe I could call up some of my old contacts and do something with them on the side. Maybe I could do phone solicitation, or stuff envelopes. Maybe I could make arrangements with my current boss to do some of my work from home.” 

If Sarah could deliberately change her thought pattern, decouple the usual connections, she would derail her train of thought that was guaranteed to take her into depression to possibly end up somewhere else. And maybe over time she would get ideas that would help her to solve her problems.

What’s my point?

  • As quickly as possible, to the greatest extent possible, clean up your own issues so that they do not add to the burden of dealing with future ones.
  • When old stuff comes up, make a mental note of it, or even better, write it down and deal with it at your earliest convenience, hopefully, that day. Use whatever tools you know: Emotional Freedom Technique, Tapas Acupressure, Emotion Code, Time Line Therapy, self-hypnosis, the Infinite Intelligence Process (my own technique), dowsing, etc. Where you are stuck, hypnotherapists and NLP (Neural Linguistic Programming) practitioners are skilled in helping you change and resolve non-beneficial mental and emotional patterns and limiting beliefs.
  • Deliberately ask a question that sets you off in another direction: “What if ___? How can I ___? If ___ could work, how would it work? Who could help me ___. “
  • Make a statement that while believable, changes the train tracks to another emotional destination For example,  “I’m so grateful for ___. I got through/survived ___ before. I turn this into a blessing. There’s a part of me that knows how to deal with this. I stay focused on the bigger picture. I take it one step at a time.”
  • Make a habit to challenge your assumptions, beliefs and judgments where they have been shown to be non-productive.

It is possible to change your self-talk to help yourself. And while it takes diligence and repetition to run new mental train tracks, it is profoundly worth the effort!

Resolving mental and emotional issues is my specialty. If you need extra help, I am available in person, by phone, and soon, by Skype. Call for an appointment. Free initial phone consultation: 434-263-4337.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

 

 

Picking Up Vibes

09 Mar 2016 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in clearing non-beneficial energies, exorcism, ghost busting, psychic healing, spirit releasemlent Tags: , , ,

Sensing Energy

You walk into a building, a room, or down a street, and for some reason, start feeling peaceful, happy, warm, safe. Or, sometimes you might start getting agitated, scared, creeped out, or simply uncomfortable. There may not appear to be any rational reason for it, but you can’t deny that you are sensing or reacting to something. What?

I remember visiting the home of Philosopher, Jidda Krishnamurti (long since dead) in Ojai, California and I COULD NOT HELP SMILING. While I respected this sage, I certainly was not a follower. Yet, the happy energy in that space was palpable, and forcibly changed my usual overly serious continence to happy as long as I stayed in his house and immediate grounds.

I have walked into some empty churches, and immediately felt a sense of peace. And while the architecture and sheer beauty of the place may have been lovely in all of them, the peace appeared to be unrelated to aesthetics. Some of the most beautiful left me empty, and some of the plainest churches felt the best. One place where I particularly and consistently felt at ease was at the Lake Shrine of the Self Realization Fellowship in Pacific Palisades, California. It is a small, simple place in a beautiful garden with a small lake, that was dedicated by Yogi Paramahansa Yogananda (also long deceased). His followers have regularly practiced meditation there over the years.

Just what is the cause of our reactions?

  • Are we sensing energy vortexes?

Some vortexes are especially palpable as are those in Sedona. Other beneficial yet invisible earth energies and ley lines were harnessed in the placement of the world’s oldest cathedrals. Dowsers are skilled in locating them.

  • Are we picking up on chi?

Chi is the movable positive or negative life force which plays an essential role in the Chinese study of feng shui? This can take into consideration the lay of the land and a building’s placement on it, the shape of spaces and angles inside, colors, the function of the rooms and furniture placement, and much more. Feng shui has been shown to effect energy and mood.

  • Are we sensing the emotions, frame of mind, and possibly even the intentions of the current or even long past inhabitants?

For example, was I feeling the left-over residues of years of peaceful meditation, or the personality imprint of saints such as Krishnamurti or Yogananda, and of good people who had peace in their hearts who had spent a lot of time at those locations? I think so.

  • Are we feeling the residue of activities and events that occurred there?

Yes, if they are powerful enough even for a single event as in an accident, murder, battle, or if repeated over time if less in intensity in daily life.

  • Are we feeling the good will and harmony or the irritation and dislike within a household or company?

Don’t we have the expression that ‘you could cut the atmosphere with a knife’ ?

  • Are we even picking up on the emotions and thoughts of others that are directed at us?

Energy directed at us can be perceived whether the sender is physically present with us or not. For example, am I feeling good because someone who loves me is thinking of me even though miles away? Conversely, if I am uncomfortable, is it because someone is angry with me and focusing on me at that moment? Am I picking up on their disapproval, rejection, negative judgment?

The reverse of things that make us feel good can also saturate a place and be sensed as well.

This can include bad feng shui, geopathic zones, the residue of traumatic, unhappy, stressful events, or the imprint of upset, angry, fearful or depressed people.  I, personally, am very uncomfortable in or around hospitals, prisons, certain neighborhoods (whether or not obvious from the buildings), the World Trade Center, or anywhere near old battlefields, factory farms or animal feedlots.

Years ago, I was awoken in the middle of the night while camping in New Jersey by a British soldier and American Indian in hand to hand combat outside my motorhome. Dream? No. Ghosts? Again, I think not. It seemed more like a frozen piece of time being replayed like a broken record because of the emotional intensity in that spot.

Another night, I was compelled to follow the energy I felt in my parent’s house some time after my father’s death. Dowsing my way, much as one might follow breadcrumbs from one end of the house to the other, it lead me down to the basement to my father’s ham radio room where he spent countless, happy hours talking to people all over the world. Was this my father’s ghost? No, I felt sure that wasn’t it. It felt like the leftover residue of his concentrated energy over the years. That room and the activities there played a big part in his life.

Referring to my father, there was an intense holy and loving presence in the house after he died that lasted for some months. It extended even into the yard. Was this energy my father that was continuing to love us? Maybe. Was it the love of our deceased ancestors to comfort us? Maybe. But it felt like much, much more than either of those possibilities. Was it the spiritual energy that my father attracted by his goodness and religious devotion? It felt like the latter.

As I think about the uncomfortable energies that I have encountered over the years, especially the ones that seem to be in my own space or follow me around, I am convinced that a great deal of it falls within my own lap.

The problem is not in that I perceive uncomfortable energies, but that such non-beneficial energies sometimes seems to stick and are difficult to shake because of me being in a weakened state, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

This weakened state might come from both current issues as well as past issues that I have not yet resolved. The cumulative effect makes it harder to gain perspective, and deal with those issues. It also makes me vulnerable to other stressors as well as to outside energies that drain my energy further and feed off and aggravate the very non-beneficial thoughts and emotions I am trying to heal.

Such weakening agents include:

  • Fatigue, exhaustion, lack of sufficient sleep and pushing beyond my limits.
  • Other health issues including illness, toxicity, inflammation, lowered immunity, diet.
  • Overwhelm, worry and stress in my personal life. Concern for loved ones.
  • Worry, grief, fear, anger, depression or upset about the suffering, cruelty, corruption, ignorance, injustice, and evil that I perceive or hear about in local, national, world conditions and events.
  • My own unhealed emotional wounds, limiting beliefs and judgments.

Like attracts like.

For example, if I am sensitive to the jealousy/anger of others, it may be because I have not healed either my own jealousy or anger, or the pain/upset from previous experiences with jealous/angry people.

I have found that anything that depresses my spirit or challenges my health makes me vulnerable to being impacted by bad vibes.  But the reverse is also true.

Anything that lifts my spirits and enhances my health can strengthen my energy field and make me more resilient to non-beneficial energies, stress, and able to deal, in general, with problems or challenges of any kind.

Energy Enhancers

This includes all the usual, common sense things like quality nutrition, sleep, detoxification, gratitude, forgiveness, love, joy, happy music and dance, loving friends and family nearby, a supportive network and community, recreation, nature, sunshine, wholesome laughter, exercise, and more.

Even if bad vibes are directed at me personally as when someone is jealous, angry or resentful or if they reject, judge or disapprove of me, if I exercise healthy diet and lifestyle habits, if I work to resolve my own personal issues, and if I challenge my own limiting beliefs and judgments, and if I have supportive, loving people around me, it makes a substantial, positive difference in being able to maintain a healthy boundaries,  equilibrium, and resiliency. Then I am less impacted by whatever disharmony, bad vibes or energy pollution is out there from any source.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Dealing With Challenge? Find the Blessing or the Opportunity

27 Jan 2016 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in Hypnosis, Reiki, Dowsing and Self-Help, self help Tags: , , ,

“NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION” 

(English-language proverb)

Need is the primary driving force.

When I have a problem, I found that if I can turn my attitude from despair into curiosity, everything changes. Instead of feeling irritation, frustration, stuck or hopeless, the thought “I wonder if ___” immediately sets me on a path to discovery and creativity that can even be fun. Once the mental wheels are turning, the energy is flowing again, and I know that it is only a matter of time before I find some answers that lead to improvement, progress and, hopefully, solution. If I become stuck along the way, I might ask:

“I wonder who could help me with this?”

“I wonder how ___ would go about this?”

“I wonder if ___ could work, how would it work?”

The key for the attitude shift is to turn it from a problem into just a puzzle to be solved.

For some of us and for some problems, it is easier to adopt this attitude of  curiosity that leads to creativity than for other challenges. So, for example, I get turned on with excitement when a client brings me an emotional problem because I know how to deal with it. While they may feel hopeless, I am not because I have ideas of how to resolve it, and I find that fun and immensely satisfying. However, if my car breaks down, I am better off going to a car mechanic who likes those kinds of challenges that I find very frustrating and for which I have neither the talent, skill or inclination to try to sort out myself.

Look for the opportunity

More than inventions come from solving problems–so do livelihoods, businesses, trade, books, speaking engagements, social programs and progress of all kinds. I am not implying that you can turn your problem into profit, but if you could …?

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

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Can you do something with the problem that is presented to you? 

Can you turn it into something useful?

For example, I have a small homestead and have found a way to use or recycle almost everything. If I find broken eggs, I feed them to the animals. Old vegetables go to the pigs. Egg shells get ground up and fed back to the chickens. I compost the poop, dirty bedding, feed bags. Dirty egg cartons go into the wood stove. Moldy hay gets spread on bare dirt to make it less slippery in the rain or used as mulch. A friend uses broken china and pottery and makes incredible mosaics. The old folks took old clothes and made patchwork quilts or rag rugs. You get the idea. Ask

“How can I use this?” or “How can I make this work for me?”

Look for the Blessing

Sometimes this process can be started with a question such as “what can I learn from this to be better?”  The moment I take note and apply it, I have extracted value from the experience. If I am not consciously aware of the blessing, I say

“there is a part of me that can use this experience to make me better or wiser in some way. And that part is doing so now in a way in which I am really pleased.”

Think of your challenges as education. They are helping you to build important life experience and expertise (knowledge and skill that comes from dealing with experiences). They are part of your path to wisdom. Accept it. Transmute and transform it into a blessing both for you and the world. A sense of humor helps.

Photo Citation: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/agree-terms.php?id=100314621

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Life Provides Three Kinds of Teachers

02 Oct 2015 Leave a comment

by unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter in Hypnosis, self help Tags: , , , , , , ,

Somewhere I heard that a tribe of the American Indians consider that we can have three kinds of teachers.

The Positive Teacher

The first kind of teacher is one that teaches us by their positive example. Their words and life demonstrate in a most wonderful way how to be, how to live, and what is really important. They provide answers to the big questions of life. Not only is their teaching true and helpful, but they walk their talk. You are truly blessed if you have this shining example in your life as a guide.

However, the downside is that their teaching can be taken on faith without examination. Their lessons may be learned by rote. With unquestioning acceptance of what is said, their student may not learn how to learn, how to find the answers to what was not provided, how to discern and evaluate information. They may not learn how to handle or adapt to changing times or situations not encountered by their teacher. There is also a potential danger of remaining dependent on the teacher instead of growing in maturity and going beyond to develop a strong connection to the Source of all wisdom and truth on their own.

If you are accustomed to simply accepting what you are told and later meet an imperfect teacher, or imperfect followers of the perfect teacher, or if your teacher who had previously been a shining example gets caught up in ego and deviates from the path, you may not have developed your power of discernment to prevent you from also being led astray. Or you may chuck the whole teaching, throwing out what was good and valuable as well as what was not.

Another possibility is that although the teacher of the positive example found answers that were right for their own life and faithfully reported them to you, what was right for them may not be right for you or right at this point in time. You still have to process what you are being taught and told through the still small voice within you.

The Negative Teacher

The second type of teacher is someone who teaches you how to be and how to live by providing a strong example of how not to be or how not to live. Those who present the negative path are also very powerful teachers and can push you to self-reliance. By alienating you, they have freed you from dependency and having to conform to their ideas in order to please them. In so doing, you may learn to listen to your own heart and set a better course for yourself.

For example, if a parent abandons his children, you, as one of those children, may make a commitment to never abandon your own children because you experienced first hand the pain of that experience. As a result, your own children are blessed with the security that you will never leave them. If you had been around someone who taunted, humiliated, or verbally degraded you, you may learn to always think before you speak and to respect the feelings of others. This makes you nicer to be around. However, just because you may be gifted with a painful experience that has the potential to teach you much, 

learning is optional and never guaranteed.

The downside to the negative example is that you may simply judge and condemn this kind of teacher without ever finding the positive lesson. You may dwell in anger, bitterness or resentment, and may, unwittingly become like the very person you detest.

The Coyote Teacher

The third type is the coyote teacher that provides conflicting and confusing messages.  They give you both good and bad. They may say one thing but do another, or adhere to certain principles in one area while living/acting differently in another. Consequently, their message is confusing. They may give you only part of what you need and want to know. They sometimes tell you things that are true and helpful, but they may also tell you things that are false or hurtful, providing both positive and negative examples. The bottom line is that the Coyote forces you to dig down deep inside of yourself to find the answers for yourself. The gift that can potentially come out of this is for you sort through the mess to find your own truth and wisdom.

All types of teachers have value.

As you think of your parents, family members, school teachers, friends and associates, you may have witnessed examples all three kinds of teachers in your life already. The point is:

LEARN FROM ALL OF THEM!

The moment you learn, the moment you find the blessing, it takes the sting out of painful experiences and relationships, and removes confusion and discord. It also leads to greater understanding, acceptance and tolerance.

Ask yourself:

Is what I am hearing true? Is it always true? Can I still trust this message?

Is this example trustworthy, something that I want to emulate?

What can I learn from this person, this relationship, this interchange, positive or negative?

What is good that I admire and respect?

What is the positive opposite of what I am witnessing that I do not admire or respect, or dislike?

How can I use the words, message, example, positive or negative, of this person to be a better person myself?

What is the message others are getting from my life, my words and actions, my example?

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to the following:

http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com 

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