Thought for the Day

Can a problem be a blessing in disguise?

Have you ever thought that the problem you had could have been much worse? That it happened in a way that was manageable, easy or possible to remedy?

For example, your car broke down in town during the daytime instead of miles away from home late at night in an isolated area?

Have you ever had a problem that actually protected you from a worse problem or even serious misfortune?

For example, a slow poke driver that was holding up traffic and making you late for work actually prevented you from getting in the middle of the major car pile up ahead? Or finding out in time to be treated about a hidden but potential major health problem brewing only because you went to the doctor about a minor issue?

Here is a true story about someone I know. Nelson was very upset about being fired on a Friday along with 40 other people in his department. But on the following Tuesday, he realized how lucky he was because all those not fired died. Nelson worked in the World Trade Center. The date was 9/11.

Have you ever had one door close that led you to finding and opening a better one?

Losing a job that you really didn’t like can be precisely the kick in the butt to move you into pursuing your dreams. Carolyn, a singer colleague, was very upset about being let go from a regional opera company. It wasn’t only that they had promised her job security, but justified firing her anyway by insulting her saying that she had a wobble in her voice that didn’t blend in with the other singers. My friend used her anger to get busy with her voice teacher and coach to retool her audition material. As a result, she got hired full-time at twice her previous salary at the best opera company in the country – the Metropolitan Opera.

Years ago I was pushed out of one office by a New Age bookstore owner below me that tried very overtly to take over my business. This incentivized me to find another location, and I ended up with something much closer to home, bigger, more beautiful and with free parking – for the same amount of rent. My students and clients loved it! But I never would have found it if the store owner had not been telling my clientele that I had moved out of the building and he was taking over my business!

Another friend was awoken by her cat only to find out that the house was on fire. The damage caused both by the fire and water to put it out was extensive. But it led to a complete, beautiful renovation, new furniture, new wardrobes for everyone in the family that was financially possible only because of the insurance money.

Walking away from a relationship full of issues can lead to pursuing a much better relationship now armed with greater discernment, greater awareness of what you want and need, and the knowledge to avoid future problems. I was married but putting up with lots of things that bothered me greatly. Then my husband did the one thing that I could not tolerate. And that allowed me to leave and have a better life.

Historically crop failures, poverty or economic collapse, political upheavals, religious persecution, floods, droughts, natural disasters and war has pushed people to move out of their comfort zone to start another new and better life somewhere else. America was built on immigrants moving to solve their problems.

Can you think of how some of your problems led to something better?

Did they push you to grow?

What did you learn from them that helped you later on?

When Shit Happens, Part 2

I have been writing about THE WHY behind problems and suffering for a long time, such as this blog post, “When Manifestation Doesn’t Work: https://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com/2016/03/17/why-shit-happens-or-doesnt/ . (See also the many more relevant blog posts in the links listed at the end.) 

Tenants from Hell

Yet, here I am forced to revisit this topic once more because I have been dealing with a very stressful situation for the past year with tenants living on my 68 acre farm. Initially, I thought that this couple was an answer to my prayers for tenants that would be “better than the best I could possibly imagine” . I was praying to manifest renters that would have a variety of useful skills, a willingness to help me on the farm and commit to work a minimum of 10 hours per week at an agreed rate. I wanted tenants who would share my desire to create a somewhat self-sustaining and supportive mini community for these highly unstable times. 

This couple presented themselves to be the ideal fit by claiming to have the skills, the willingness and enthusiastic agreement with both my voiced vision and the desire to share in projects that I wanted to accomplish over the next year. Yet, instead of a dream come true, it turned into nightmare as their facade, their voiced intentions, their background turned out to be a total sham. Communication was very difficult. Agreements were broken.

Very quickly after moving in, this couple tried to usurp my authority as landlord, violating multiple terms of the lease and pre-established policies. The man frequently did not show up for work nor call to tell me why. Both parties rarely answered their phones or returned phone calls, emails, text messages. Through continuous harassment, they tried to prevent myself, workmen or tenants from walking or driving down my own farm road that bordered on their rental space. They even tried to insist upon a buffer zone that would allow them privacy from even eyesight of their cabin. What were they hiding?

Reason, logic, and respectful dialog with them was impossible, and I was completely baffled by their behavior. They refused to accept my wishes or attempts to explain the lease and policies. I was confused, frustrated about being unable to get through to them, and they were causing chaos, increasing tension and division on the farm.

Things came to a head when only six months in, they built a wooden ‘glass blowing’ shed and attached it to the 1880’s log cabin they were renting – a shed in which they would be using an open flame torch. This was a massive insurance risk, fire code violation, and in direct opposition to my instructions. Unfortunately, I was unable to address this as I had to fly out on an extended trip in a few days. When I returned a month later, I discovered that they had started erecting a two-story addition onto the home. And although I absolutely did not want ANY construction on my property, they proceeded not just without my permission, but without the permit that would have been required, and in violation of building codes and insurance. They incessantly lied that I had given them permission to erect both additions on to my house.

When I objected to what they had done, myself and my workmen were subjected to intense intimidation and threats requiring the intervention of the Sheriff. Finding their behavior and actions intolerable, I served them with an eviction notice. Both tenants were dishonest, in complete defiance of my wishes, emotionally unstable, unpredictable and potentially dangerous. When they refused to move three months later, I turned to the court with a hearing scheduled for the following month. Their response was to hire a lawyer and countersue me for thousands of dollars based totally on lies. So I then needed to hire a lawyer, and things were further delayed.

That’s when I found out that they both had a criminal background. Suddenly their extreme need for privacy and threats of physical violence if I or my workmen entered their rental space made sense. Were they still involved in some criminal activity and doing so on my property?

Things got increasingly ugly to where the Sheriff had to be called again recently because another workman and myself were threatened with physical violence when we were on my own farm road – not their rental space – in order to cut away a tree blocking the road and look at the entrance gate. Their lawyer filed an injunction against me, which fortunately, the judge knocked down. However, the eviction hearing won’t be heard for another few weeks.

So here I am a full 6 1/2 months after first serving them notice to move out. My time and energy has been consumed with research and documentation for such court proceedings. And it has been expensive. The emotional drain has been the worst finding that as a landlord you have less rights than the tenant, and can be powerless to control what you own while you still hold all the financial responsibilities.

So how or why did this happen? What made my manifestation efforts go so horribly wrong?

  • Did I have bad karma? Or did I have a karmic relationship with one or both of these people?
  • Did I fail to do due diligence by not getting a background check?
  • Was I too gullible? 
  • Was I too confident in my own instincts to know a good person from one who is not?
  • Was I still carrying left over baggage from some previous tenants that had not worked out?
  • Was I so smitten because they said everything I wanted to hear, that I did not take sufficient time to find out who they actually were?
  • Was I vulnerable because I had never met malicious narcissists before and did not recognize the signs?
  • Was I too much in a hurry to re-rent the place and get much needed income?
  • Was my lease current and hole proof?
  • Was this part of a soul contract to hold them accountable?
  • Was this part of a soul lesson for me?
  • Was this scripted into my life plan?

While there is some merit to the Law of Attraction and “you create your own reality”, to reduce all causation to what you were or were not thinking or feeling is not only blaming, but massively simplistic. It misses the bigger picture. All the positive thoughts in the world do not eliminate other factors – factors such as inexperience, ignorance, the will, agenda or intention of others, the community in which you live, the higher intention of Divine Spirit, and the problem of evil.

Another perspective is that of Panache Desai, who says that

“everything you’ve gone through you’ve gone through to help another human being, to be of service to the world ….it is not personal.” 

While I don’t believe that service to others is the reason why shit happens, deliberately turning your personal misfortune into helping someone else either avoid a similar problem, or to help him deal with it in an easier, faster way is a powerful way of healing your own pain. Turn the trauma of drama into a blessing for someone else, and it will bless you as well. Wring some good out of it. My skill as a hypnotherapist and dowser specializing in mental/emotional healing is a direct result of what I have learned of value from my own painful or stressful experiences.

In a scene from the movie, Gone With The Wind, Scarlett O’Hara frantically goes out to the garden to find something, anything to eat. She finds a carrot and rips it out of the ground, and then shakes her fist at Heaven to declare that she will never be hungry again. She uses her hunger to declare what she wants to experience and fuels it with forceful energy, thus fulfilling the basics of manifestation: clear thought + strong emotion.

Make a decision that a blessing or gift is going to come out of your problem. You then will be looking for it or deliberately create one. Or as the saying goes,

when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

Painful experiences push us to seek help. They may be precisely what we need to change course in our life – to stop what we are doing, or to start what we are not doing (get off the couch). The 12-Step Programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, say that is in ‘hitting bottom’ that the road out of addiction begins. And it precisely those who struggled with addiction and became clean and sober that can be the most help to others wanting to do the same. Pain is a powerful motivator to heal. But the personal growth that occurs as a result goes way beyond the resolution of a particular problem, but spills over into many other areas as well.

Recently, I was listening to a sermon by Dean Wolfe, Rector of St. Bartholomew’s Church in Manhattan on the topic of suffering. Rev. Wolfe quotes St. Paul as saying that

”suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”

According to St. Paul God does not test us, or allow us to be tested beyond our endurance, but provides a way out for us. St. Peter even says that

“persecution is a kind of testing to develop a deeper belief in Christ, to strengthen character, and to deepen commitment to God.” 

Over the past two weeks I was so stressed out that I felt that I was at my breaking point. I have NEVER been brought so low. Besides being threatened again by my tenants, they initiated an emergency hearing for a Court Injunction based totally on lies in an effort to ban me off my own road, and extract significant financial damages from me. But out of it, I dug down much deeper within myself to anchor firmly on the truth of who I am (“a powerful, spiritual Being endowed with dignity, direction and purpose”). This is along the lines of the hymn ‘My Hope is Built on Nothing Less’, (https://my.hymnary.org/song/dynamic/36/my_hope_is_built_on_nothing_less?toolkit=veroviostatic  :

“On Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.”  

This saying is not just for Christians, but for all people to find the rock, the truths, the things of substance upon which they can rely and which support them to weather severe emotional storms. Jordan Peterson asks “where do you derive your values?” 

Peterson also says that the predator is calling the prey to be a better version of itself. What must you become? He says that you should and can be more than you are. In my own case, I was called to reclaim my power, my authority as landlord, and forcefully to declare ownership of what is rightfully mine. I am also being called to be a prayer warrior. 

Courtney Brown, Director of the Farsight Institute in their Farsight Intelligence Briefing March 2022: How to REALLY Create Your Own Reality TRAILER ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IUTzRS2eNk ) points out yet another value to shit happening. He says that is is only by clearly seeing the negative that you can know what you want to create instead.

You have to know what you don’t want to know what you do want.”  

He claims that just ignoring the negative and thinking only positive thoughts keeps you a slave to those who are doing bad things. You can only navigate through life when you clearly see reality – the good and the bad. It is the contrast between them that is essential to creating the reality you want. 

Indeed,it is the awareness of things that could go wrong that leads engineers to design better, safer, more reliable products, that has parents teaching their children to look both ways before they cross the street, and that requires training for people wanting to drive a vehicle or fly a plane. And it was precisely because of experiencing the abuses of power that our Founding Fathers built certain protections and limitations on government when they constructed our own Constitution and Bill of Rights. Awareness of problems in the past and the potential for negative to happen again when joined with alertness and prudent care or action is protective.

So while we each may wish to avoid problems and just have a pleasant life with everything ‘coming of roses’, such a life will never push us to reach our full potential, develop our character, and grow in wisdom and strength, and be a beacon of hope and a role model for our children. 

So should we be grateful for our problems?

Well….I might not go that far, at least not until after the matter has been resolved and we are on the other side of the blessing. Then, we just maybe will see how much we grew as a result and have perspective.

Copyright 2022 by Roxanne Louise. All rights reserved.

See these other related blog articles also:

Lifting Connected Consciousness Meditation

FREE live session on Sunday, June 27

at 7:30 PM Eastern US time.

Dial 605-313-5141. Enter Participant Code: 92619# at the prompt.

This session will be recorded so sign up for the live broadcast and the link to the recording by sending an email to Roxanne@RoxanneLouise.com

Recently Roxanne Louise gave a presentation entitled “Lifting Connected Consciousness” and 3 meditations expanding upon that topic at the American Society of Dowsers Conference, June 11-13, 2021. The live session will serve both to summarize some key points of that presentation, answer questions, and lead everyone into a meditation to energetically to raise both our own state and to generate positive energy for the planet.

Join us by tuning in. And if you provide your email to Roxanne@RoxanneLouise.com, you will be sent a link to receive the recording of such call.

Share with others, and relisten to the meditation as often as you deem helpful.

PUBLISHED: Releasing Anger without Killing Anyone!

Just Published!!!!

beartoons-anger    Cartoon citation: beartoons.com

Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone!

by Roxanne Louise

An entire Anger Management Course!

Teach right out of the book!

Use it to help yourself! Use it to help others! 

A jam-packed guide on how to:

√ Turn anger into a blessing! 

√ Shift anger into constructive action! 

√ Use your challenges to improve yourself, your business, relationships & your life!

    • Understand the underlying dynamics! 
    • Change how you look at things so that they don’t bother you nearly as much! 
    • Make your enemies & problems help you! 
    • Harness anger as motivation to heal & make much needed change! 
    • Communicate more effectively! 
    • Fight clean! 
    • Stop conversations from spiraling downwards! 
    • Notice negative patterns & screw them up! 
    • Take effective action without the baggage!
    • Enjoy your life despite the crap!

Jam Packed Tips, Strategies, Techniques & Visualizations! 

Turn Everything Into a Blessing!

154 pages. Just $29.95 plus $5 shipping.  Order here: https://www.roxannelouise.com/releasing-anger.html

In addition to covering this information with clients over the years, I have taught this material at numerous hypnosis conventions including workshops at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention and the National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists.

 

Hypnosis for Cancer (and other) Diseases

I have just put the finishing touches of my presentation “Hypnosis for Cancer (and other) Patients–Make a Powerful Healing Difference!” that I am teaching this week at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention. It is jam packed with information that can used immediately to address the multiple mental, emotional or even spiritual factors that are involved in any disease or health challenge!

I have been so inspired by working on this presentation that I expect it to expand in the near future into an extensive training manual with accompanying dvd’s/cd’s for professionals, and a self-help training program for the layman.

Your Input Please

If you working in this field as a  professional, I would be very interested in what you are doing. If you have or have had a health challenge and found things beyond the medical treatment that made a positive healing difference, I would like to know about it.

My Assistance Offered

If you as a professional would like ideas on additional things that you can do to help your patients to address the mental/emotional or even spiritual components of disease, or if you as an individual are currently faced with a health challenge, please let me know how I can be of service to you. I may well add specific information that can assist you in what will be my future project or even give you ideas over the phone. You can contact me directly at roxannelouise2@gmail.com or at 434-263-4337 (my home office in central Virginia).

Workshop Information

My upcoming workshop # 220906 will be given at 9 AM this Saturday morning, August 13 at the National Guild of Hypnosis Convention to be held in Marlborough, Massachusetts. You can still sign up to attend at their convention website. Recordings will be available for purchase for those unable to attend.

This venue is the largest hypnosis conference in the world, and one which honored me with a lifetime achievement award, the Order of the Braid (named after James Braid, one of the earliest hypnotist/physicians in London in the 19th century).

Hypnosis for Cancer (and other) Patients

Make a Powerful Healing Difference!

Most major diseases such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, come about after a long period of stress, bad habits, unbalanced lifestyle, overall abuse or neglect of one’s health or needs. Fixing it then is not as simple as undergoing surgery, a particular medical treatment or drug protocol even if those are indicated. It also requires addressing what weakened or overloaded the system in the first place. 

Dealing with stress, both current stressors and past unresolved issues, is always indicated because it is stress that robs vital energy needed for the body’s defense and healthy cell regeneration and repair. 

Hypnotherapists are ideal in helping cancer as well as many other types of patients because we already are experts in many of the factors important for a well rounded treatment protocol.

  • We create hypnoanesthesia for childbirth, surgery, dentistry as well as trauma situations
  • We reduce stress that interferes with the body’s natural defenses.
  • We help heal emotional trauma that may have weakened the system.
  • We enhance relaxation that eases all types of pain (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual), and brings about much needed rest.
  • We utilize positive suggestions to maximize the Placebo Effect.
  • We create and then collapse negative anchors to undo the Nocebo Effect and negative self-fulfilling prophesy.
  • We utilize healing visualizations to assist the body to heal.
  • We empower the client by teaching him multiple self-help tools such as self-hypnosis, stress and anger management, pain management, self-guided visualizations.
  • We install desired, helpful habits, and increase a client’s motivation for practicing them: healthy eating, detoxification, regular exercise, work and sleep habits.
  • We help the client to eliminate unwanted, detrimental behaviors such as smoking or bad eating habits.
  • We help to improve attitude.
  • We help heal relationships.
  • We improve sleep.
  • We teach goal setting and staying focused on any helpful routine including treatment protocols.
  • We assist in problem solving for anything that comes up.
  • We assist the client contacting and working with the healer within that may already know what has to happen in order to heal.

But most importantly, hypnotherapists help clients to 

  • get in touch with their inner core to find the part of their life that is out of balance and draining their life force, and then addressing it, 
  • and to find and fulfill the unmet needs the soul requires to demonstrate good health.
  • If you fire up the spirit, the soul of the person, it can mobilize the system and fire up the body to do what it already knows to do to heal.

In addition to any indicated medical treatment, for healing to occur

  • there has to be a big enough reason to heal, 
  • the energy drains on the system (toxins, overwork, stress and internal conflicts) have to be cleared away,
  • and more energy needs to come in not just with sleep, good nutrition, but also through loving relationships, meaning, purpose and joy.

During a workshop on this topic at the National Guild of Hypnotists, I taught hypnotherapists multiple ways of becoming a powerful asset in their client’s healing journey whether with cancer patients or those with other serious health issues.

TRADITIONAL USE OF HYPNOTHERAPY FOR CANCER, etc.

Hypnosis has traditionally been used as adjunctive therapy to allopathic medicine. As such, it did the following:

  • reduction of symptoms caused by the illness directly
  • reduction of symptoms caused by the treatment, such as hair loss, nausea from chemotherapy/radiation, and by any medication
  • fear of diagnostic tests, surgery and/or treatment
  • motivation to follow the medical treatment protocol
  • motivation to follow any other physician recommendations, such as follow thru with dietary changes, physical therapy, etc.
  • hypnosis for anesthesia, and speedy post-operative recovery
  • visualization for healing
  • elimination of health destructive habits such as smoking (cancer), or anger outbursts (as in high blood pressure)

EXPANDED USE OF HYPNOTHERAPY

The expanded use of hypnosis includes all of the above plus a very wholistic look at the entire life of the patient to bring harmony and balance conducive to good health. This includes:

  • undoing the Nocebo Effect—the impact that fear, hopelessness and self-fulfilling prophecy has had or could still have from hearing the diagnosis of their condition and the likely prognosis that the illness will take. The negative suggestions/expectations may have come from the medical staff, but also support groups, friends/family or even online.
  • locating and resolving the major drivers for the disease — the main mental/emotional stressors that have weakened the system.

This understands that while anything that stops energy leaking out of the body’s system, and reduces stress, including long buried issues, frees up energy for the body to heal, there needs to be a deliberate search for and healing of those specifically related events, beliefs, judgments and decisions.

  • addressing the energy equation.

Illness results when more energy demands are placed on a body than it has the reserves to cover.

Anything that  stops energy from leaking out maintains critical energy reserves. 

Anything that brings more energy into the system makes more energy available for the body to do what it already knows how to do in order to heal.

  • motivating the client to investigate, inaugurate on a can’t hurt basis, and maintain a common sense approach to good self-care in addition to what was advocated by the client’s team of medical advisors.

This relates to improving the energy equation, and can include:

  • improving diet, sleep and exercise
  • adding supplements, herbs, homeopathic, aromatherapy, or other
  • various healing modalities for overall wellness not directly tied to healing the specific illness (massage and other bodywork, energy work, chiropractics, etc.)
  • eliminating counter productive habits that go beyond smoking or overeating, but include non-beneficial mental and emotional habits as well
  • reducing toxicity
  • addressing the spiritual dimension

This will include connecting to that something More beyond the body and the self. It could include a connection to what people call God, but could also be a connection to family, community, nature, humanity as a whole.

It also looks to whether the client has a sense of meaning, value and purpose in his life. If, for example,  the client perceives life as meaningless and unfulfilling, why heal? This relates to strengthening the “life urge”, the will to live. But it goes beyond just the ego’s drive to survive to something more, to fulfilling some important purpose or goal, such as raising a child.

  • accessing internal wisdom to locate and heal what’s out of balance in the person’s life

This may include visualizations that personify and work with the “healer within”, Gestalt dialog, or just internal questioning and affirmations as with the Infinite Intelligence Process (“There is a part of me that knows ___ and is ___ so now”).

  • looking for the message/lesson/opportunity/blessing hidden within the disease

Because physical illness is sometimes driven by the soul to heal a soul issue, the faster the learning occurs, the quicker the need for that illness is resolved. Physical healing can then (but not always) follow. Carolyn Myss talks about this.

  • amplifying the client’s inner wisdom in making the right decisions for himself
  • increasing joy and overall fulfillment in life

If a person loses his will or desire to live, the body soon follows. In order to heal, there has to be a reason or desire to do so that goes beyond just get out of unpleasant symptoms or physical pain. This may mean helping the client to find and follow his life’s purpose. It may mean making radical changes in his life. Why get better if it means going back to a life or situation that is intolerable?

  • improving primary relationships
  • improving balance in life
  • dealing with any other stressors including the stress caused from being sick, the financial worries, the practical problems of not being as capable and self-sufficient as before.
  • teaching any self-help skills, particularly stress management tools (self-hypnosis, EFT, Emotion Code, Infinite Intelligence Process, etc.) , that you know and which might well help the client whether or not they are strictly ‘hypnosis’
  • utilizing any other modalities that you know (such as energy healing) and which might well help the client whether or not they are strictly ‘hypnosis’ as long as the client approves.
  • changing both the internal and external environment of the cells – this includes the mental and emotional environment as well as physical and spiritual. For Hypnotherapists, changing the environment starts with helping the client to change his perception of the environment because as Biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton says, perception creates chemistry. 

This may be as basic as healing one’s perception that they are living in a hostile environment. Fear is the big issue to address. Fear mobilizes the body for fight or flight. Only love, feeling safe, being at peace enables the body to move into growth and healing.

Physicians may offer drugs to change the cells chemistry, and diet, herbs, supplements, aromatherapy and homeopathic remedies also do so. But thoughts and emotions also change internal chemistry, and sometimes faster.

  • empowering the client to make informed decisions about his own treatment.

Hypnotherapist and long time Director of Health, Education, AIDS Liason, Michael Ellner says that patients who are actively involved in making their own decisions about their treatment do better. This may be motivating the client to investigate other treatment options for the disease, whether still within the allopathic model or not. These other treatment options may be in addition to or instead of traditional allopathic treatment.

  • restoring hope and eliminating the feeling of powerlessness and being a victim of disease
  • making the client aware of his resources and his ability to respond constructively to the health challenge

The goal is to empower the client to bring his body, mind, spirit and his life back into balance and harmony that will support good heath.   

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Thoughts Carry a Train

And how to derail that train when you don’t like where it is going!

Today, I heard about the death of a friend’s family member, and also of a hypnosis colleague giving a workshop on how to deal with grief and loss. This brought up some thoughts and memories of my own of how thoughts connect to similar thoughts taking us to a predictable emotional conclusion.

One of my clients was setting up a meeting at Windows on the World restaurant on top of the World Trade Center on 9/11. Located on the 107th floor of the north tower with a conference facility on the 106th floor, with commanding views of the city, it was a popular destination with building occupants, tourists, and city residents (the restaurant served about 800 dinners nightly).

When the first hijacked plane crashed into the north tower at 8:46 am, the restaurant had regular breakfast patrons on the 107th floor and a conference for the Risk Water Group on the 106th floor. About 73 employees and an unidentified number of patrons died in the fire and building collapse. One of my clients, Luke Dudek, was among those killed.

The last time I saw Luke was at a mutual friend’s funeral, that of Rodney DeMichael. Rodney had been on the Board of Advisors for my business, Unlimited Potential. As a dear friend, social worker, counselor, founder and head of the Center for Eating Disorders in Livingston, NJ, Rodney had served  as most valued guide and mentor when I had questions about or needed help with a client, especially where I suspected that such client or prospective client had mental or emotional issues that required specialized professional treatment beyond my expertise as a hypnotherapist.

Rodney had been brought in also to lecture on psychopathology to my advanced, professional hypnotherapy students. When he got ill, he came weekly to the Reiki Sharing Clinic I ran. Over the years, many of my students and graduates worked on him, some even traveling to the hospital during his final stay.

So Luke’s death brought up memories of Rodney’s death, Rodney’s funeral and the silly hat I wore just for his benefit, thoughts about his life, my association with him, my student’s associations with him, and his friends and family. It also brought up times I myself had been at Windows on the World, the magnificent crystals there that were the size of small elephants, the woman (another client) that sold those crystals to the restaurant from her mine in South America, and her crystal shop in Montclair, NJ. Further, Luke’s and Rodney’s deaths also brought up memories of my father’s death, that of other family members, and on and on.

Thoughts hitch to other thoughts that carry you to a predictable emotional destination!

Carolyn Myss once was explaining how to understand someone’s conversation, you have to dig down into your own memory banks for similar associations. So if someone is talking about cupcakes, you have to do an internal search for anything to do with cupcakes yourself just to understand what is being said, let alone to respond.

The outcome is that if you have any emotions tied to any of your cupcake associations, it brings up those old emotions, memories, and all related associations as well.  Anything yet unresolved that is related to the issue or topic at hand as well as to any of the free associations that resurface is added to what is going on now, and it happens in lightning speed much as Alice plunging down the rabbit hole.

Early on in my hypnosis practice, I had a client that taught me how thoughts hitch to other thoughts that carry you to a predictable destination much as coupling train cars together on a pre-determined track. You can clearly foretell the expected emotional outcome from the content of the thoughts if you catch them fast enough. If such thought associations happen often enough, it runs a groove that turns it into a habit.

‘Sarah’ (not her real name) came to me because she was sick, worried and depressed. She had multiple issues: Epstein Barr, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, etc. Not surprisingly when she woke up in the morning, her first thought was “I feel sick.” This connected to another thought, “If I’m sick, then I can’t go to work.” From there, the next thought was “If I can’t go to work, I’ll lose my job.” Next came, “if I lose my job, I’m going to lose my apartment.” Next was, “if I lose my apartment, I’m going to lose custody of my son.” Finally, the thought came, “if I lose my son, I might as well kill myself.” So from the first thought, “I feel sick”, she was rapidly in suicidal depression.

Because this thought pattern happened so frequently, I had to teach her how to derail her train of thoughts to take her to, hopefully, another emotional destination. So for the usual “I feel sick”, therefore, “I can’t go to work”, I taught her to say “at what I usually do. So what can I do?  What can I do from home to earn an income? Oh, I used to be an Editor. Maybe I could call up some of my old contacts and do something with them on the side. Maybe I could do phone solicitation, or stuff envelopes. Maybe I could make arrangements with my current boss to do some of my work from home.” 

If Sarah could deliberately change her thought pattern, decouple the usual connections, she would derail her train of thought that was guaranteed to take her into depression to possibly end up somewhere else. And maybe over time she would get ideas that would help her to solve her problems.

What’s my point?

  • As quickly as possible, to the greatest extent possible, clean up your own issues so that they do not add to the burden of dealing with future ones.
  • When old stuff comes up, make a mental note of it, or even better, write it down and deal with it at your earliest convenience, hopefully, that day. Use whatever tools you know: Emotional Freedom Technique, Tapas Acupressure, Emotion Code, Time Line Therapy, self-hypnosis, the Infinite Intelligence Process (my own technique), dowsing, etc. Where you are stuck, hypnotherapists and NLP (Neural Linguistic Programming) practitioners are skilled in helping you change and resolve non-beneficial mental and emotional patterns and limiting beliefs.
  • Deliberately ask a question that sets you off in another direction: “What if ___? How can I ___? If ___ could work, how would it work? Who could help me ___. “
  • Make a statement that while believable, changes the train tracks to another emotional destination For example,  “I’m so grateful for ___. I got through/survived ___ before. I turn this into a blessing. There’s a part of me that knows how to deal with this. I stay focused on the bigger picture. I take it one step at a time.”
  • Make a habit to challenge your assumptions, beliefs and judgments where they have been shown to be non-productive.

It is possible to change your self-talk to help yourself. And while it takes diligence and repetition to run new mental train tracks, it is profoundly worth the effort!

Resolving mental and emotional issues is my specialty. If you need extra help, I am available in person, by phone, and soon, by Skype. Call for an appointment. Free initial phone consultation: 434-263-4337.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

 

 

 

Picking Up Vibes

Sensing Energy

You walk into a building, a room, or down a street, and for some reason, start feeling peaceful, happy, warm, safe. Or, sometimes you might start getting agitated, scared, creeped out, or simply uncomfortable. There may not appear to be any rational reason for it, but you can’t deny that you are sensing or reacting to something. What?

I remember visiting the home of Philosopher, Jidda Krishnamurti (long since dead) in Ojai, California and I COULD NOT HELP SMILING. While I respected this sage, I certainly was not a follower. Yet, the happy energy in that space was palpable, and forcibly changed my usual overly serious continence to happy as long as I stayed in his house and immediate grounds.

I have walked into some empty churches, and immediately felt a sense of peace. And while the architecture and sheer beauty of the place may have been lovely in all of them, the peace appeared to be unrelated to aesthetics. Some of the most beautiful left me empty, and some of the plainest churches felt the best. One place where I particularly and consistently felt at ease was at the Lake Shrine of the Self Realization Fellowship in Pacific Palisades, California. It is a small, simple place in a beautiful garden with a small lake, that was dedicated by Yogi Paramahansa Yogananda (also long deceased). His followers have regularly practiced meditation there over the years.

Just what is the cause of our reactions?

  • Are we sensing energy vortexes?

Some vortexes are especially palpable as are those in Sedona. Other beneficial yet invisible earth energies and ley lines were harnessed in the placement of the world’s oldest cathedrals. Dowsers are skilled in locating them.

  • Are we picking up on chi?

Chi is the movable positive or negative life force which plays an essential role in the Chinese study of feng shui? This can take into consideration the lay of the land and a building’s placement on it, the shape of spaces and angles inside, colors, the function of the rooms and furniture placement, and much more. Feng shui has been shown to effect energy and mood.

  • Are we sensing the emotions, frame of mind, and possibly even the intentions of the current or even long past inhabitants?

For example, was I feeling the left-over residues of years of peaceful meditation, or the personality imprint of saints such as Krishnamurti or Yogananda, and of good people who had peace in their hearts who had spent a lot of time at those locations? I think so.

  • Are we feeling the residue of activities and events that occurred there?

Yes, if they are powerful enough even for a single event as in an accident, murder, battle, or if repeated over time if less in intensity in daily life.

  • Are we feeling the good will and harmony or the irritation and dislike within a household or company?

Don’t we have the expression that ‘you could cut the atmosphere with a knife’ ?

  • Are we even picking up on the emotions and thoughts of others that are directed at us?

Energy directed at us can be perceived whether the sender is physically present with us or not. For example, am I feeling good because someone who loves me is thinking of me even though miles away? Conversely, if I am uncomfortable, is it because someone is angry with me and focusing on me at that moment? Am I picking up on their disapproval, rejection, negative judgment?

The reverse of things that make us feel good can also saturate a place and be sensed as well.

This can include bad feng shui, geopathic zones, the residue of traumatic, unhappy, stressful events, or the imprint of upset, angry, fearful or depressed people.  I, personally, am very uncomfortable in or around hospitals, prisons, certain neighborhoods (whether or not obvious from the buildings), the World Trade Center, or anywhere near old battlefields, factory farms or animal feedlots.

Years ago, I was awoken in the middle of the night while camping in New Jersey by a British soldier and American Indian in hand to hand combat outside my motorhome. Dream? No. Ghosts? Again, I think not. It seemed more like a frozen piece of time being replayed like a broken record because of the emotional intensity in that spot.

Another night, I was compelled to follow the energy I felt in my parent’s house some time after my father’s death. Dowsing my way, much as one might follow breadcrumbs from one end of the house to the other, it lead me down to the basement to my father’s ham radio room where he spent countless, happy hours talking to people all over the world. Was this my father’s ghost? No, I felt sure that wasn’t it. It felt like the leftover residue of his concentrated energy over the years. That room and the activities there played a big part in his life.

Referring to my father, there was an intense holy and loving presence in the house after he died that lasted for some months. It extended even into the yard. Was this energy my father that was continuing to love us? Maybe. Was it the love of our deceased ancestors to comfort us? Maybe. But it felt like much, much more than either of those possibilities. Was it the spiritual energy that my father attracted by his goodness and religious devotion? It felt like the latter.

As I think about the uncomfortable energies that I have encountered over the years, especially the ones that seem to be in my own space or follow me around, I am convinced that a great deal of it falls within my own lap.

The problem is not in that I perceive uncomfortable energies, but that such non-beneficial energies sometimes seems to stick and are difficult to shake because of me being in a weakened state, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

This weakened state might come from both current issues as well as past issues that I have not yet resolved. The cumulative effect makes it harder to gain perspective, and deal with those issues. It also makes me vulnerable to other stressors as well as to outside energies that drain my energy further and feed off and aggravate the very non-beneficial thoughts and emotions I am trying to heal.

Such weakening agents include:

  • Fatigue, exhaustion, lack of sufficient sleep and pushing beyond my limits.
  • Other health issues including illness, toxicity, inflammation, lowered immunity, diet.
  • Overwhelm, worry and stress in my personal life. Concern for loved ones.
  • Worry, grief, fear, anger, depression or upset about the suffering, cruelty, corruption, ignorance, injustice, and evil that I perceive or hear about in local, national, world conditions and events.
  • My own unhealed emotional wounds, limiting beliefs and judgments.

Like attracts like.

For example, if I am sensitive to the jealousy/anger of others, it may be because I have not healed either my own jealousy or anger, or the pain/upset from previous experiences with jealous/angry people.

I have found that anything that depresses my spirit or challenges my health makes me vulnerable to being impacted by bad vibes.  But the reverse is also true.

Anything that lifts my spirits and enhances my health can strengthen my energy field and make me more resilient to non-beneficial energies, stress, and able to deal, in general, with problems or challenges of any kind.

Energy Enhancers

This includes all the usual, common sense things like quality nutrition, sleep, detoxification, gratitude, forgiveness, love, joy, happy music and dance, loving friends and family nearby, a supportive network and community, recreation, nature, sunshine, wholesome laughter, exercise, and more.

Even if bad vibes are directed at me personally as when someone is jealous, angry or resentful or if they reject, judge or disapprove of me, if I exercise healthy diet and lifestyle habits, if I work to resolve my own personal issues, and if I challenge my own limiting beliefs and judgments, and if I have supportive, loving people around me, it makes a substantial, positive difference in being able to maintain a healthy boundaries,  equilibrium, and resiliency. Then I am less impacted by whatever disharmony, bad vibes or energy pollution is out there from any source.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Dealing With Challenge? Find the Blessing or the Opportunity

“NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION” 

(English-language proverb)

Need is the primary driving force.

When I have a problem, I found that if I can turn my attitude from despair into curiosity, everything changes. Instead of feeling irritation, frustration, stuck or hopeless, the thought “I wonder if ___” immediately sets me on a path to discovery and creativity that can even be fun. Once the mental wheels are turning, the energy is flowing again, and I know that it is only a matter of time before I find some answers that lead to improvement, progress and, hopefully, solution. If I become stuck along the way, I might ask:

“I wonder who could help me with this?”

I wonder how ___ would go about this?”

“I wonder if ___ could work, how would it work?”

The key for the attitude shift is to turn it from a problem into just a puzzle to be solved.

For some of us and for some problems, it is easier to adopt this attitude of  curiosity that leads to creativity than for other challenges. So, for example, I get turned on with excitement when a client brings me an emotional problem because I know how to deal with it. While they may feel hopeless, I am not because I have ideas of how to resolve it, and I find that fun and immensely satisfying. However, if my car breaks down, I am better off going to a car mechanic who likes those kinds of challenges that I find very frustrating and for which I have neither the talent, skill or inclination to try to sort out myself.

Look for the opportunity

More than inventions come from solving problems–so do livelihoods, businesses, trade, books, speaking engagements, social programs and progress of all kinds. I am not implying that you can turn your problem into profit, but if you could …?

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

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Can you do something with the problem that is presented to you? 

Can you turn it into something useful?

For example, I have a small homestead and have found a way to use or recycle almost everything. If I find broken eggs, I feed them to the animals. Old vegetables go to the pigs. Egg shells get ground up and fed back to the chickens. I compost the poop, dirty bedding, feed bags. Dirty egg cartons go into the wood stove. Moldy hay gets spread on bare dirt to make it less slippery in the rain or used as mulch. A friend uses broken china and pottery and makes incredible mosaics. The old folks took old clothes and made patchwork quilts or rag rugs. You get the idea. Ask

“How can I use this?” or “How can I make this work for me?”

Look for the Blessing

Sometimes this process can be started with a question such as “what can I learn from this to be better?”  The moment I take note and apply it, I have extracted value from the experience. If I am not consciously aware of the blessing, I say

“there is a part of me that can use this experience to make me better or wiser in some way. And that part is doing so now in a way in which I am really pleased.”

Think of your challenges as education. They are helping you to build important life experience and expertise (knowledge and skill that comes from dealing with experiences). They are part of your path to wisdom. Accept it. Transmute and transform it into a blessing both for you and the world. A sense of humor helps.

Photo Citation: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/agree-terms.php?id=100314621

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Life Provides Three Kinds of Teachers

Somewhere I heard that a tribe of the American Indians consider that we can have three kinds of teachers.

The Positive Teacher

The first kind of teacher is one that teaches us by their positive example. Their words and life demonstrate in a most wonderful way how to be, how to live, and what is really important. They provide answers to the big questions of life. Not only is their teaching true and helpful, but they walk their talk. You are truly blessed if you have this shining example in your life as a guide.

However, the downside is that their teaching can be taken on faith without examination. Their lessons may be learned by rote. With unquestioning acceptance of what is said, their student may not learn how to learn, how to find the answers to what was not provided, how to discern and evaluate information. They may not learn how to handle or adapt to changing times or situations not encountered by their teacher. There is also a potential danger of remaining dependent on the teacher instead of growing in maturity and going beyond to develop a strong connection to the Source of all wisdom and truth on their own.

If you are accustomed to simply accepting what you are told and later meet an imperfect teacher, or imperfect followers of the perfect teacher, or if your teacher who had previously been a shining example gets caught up in ego and deviates from the path, you may not have developed your power of discernment to prevent you from also being led astray. Or you may chuck the whole teaching, throwing out what was good and valuable as well as what was not.

Another possibility is that although the teacher of the positive example found answers that were right for their own life and faithfully reported them to you, what was right for them may not be right for you or right at this point in time. You still have to process what you are being taught and told through the still small voice within you.

The Negative Teacher

The second type of teacher is someone who teaches you how to be and how to live by providing a strong example of how not to be or how not to live. Those who present the negative path are also very powerful teachers and can push you to self-reliance. By alienating you, they have freed you from dependency and having to conform to their ideas in order to please them. In so doing, you may learn to listen to your own heart and set a better course for yourself.

For example, if a parent abandons his children, you, as one of those children, may make a commitment to never abandon your own children because you experienced first hand the pain of that experience. As a result, your own children are blessed with the security that you will never leave them. If you had been around someone who taunted, humiliated, or verbally degraded you, you may learn to always think before you speak and to respect the feelings of others. This makes you nicer to be around. However, just because you may be gifted with a painful experience that has the potential to teach you much, 

learning is optional and never guaranteed.

The downside to the negative example is that you may simply judge and condemn this kind of teacher without ever finding the positive lesson. You may dwell in anger, bitterness or resentment, and may, unwittingly become like the very person you detest.

The Coyote Teacher

The third type is the coyote teacher that provides conflicting and confusing messages.  They give you both good and bad. They may say one thing but do another, or adhere to certain principles in one area while living/acting differently in another. Consequently, their message is confusing. They may give you only part of what you need and want to know. They sometimes tell you things that are true and helpful, but they may also tell you things that are false or hurtful, providing both positive and negative examples. The bottom line is that the Coyote forces you to dig down deep inside of yourself to find the answers for yourself. The gift that can potentially come out of this is for you sort through the mess to find your own truth and wisdom.

All types of teachers have value.

As you think of your parents, family members, school teachers, friends and associates, you may have witnessed examples all three kinds of teachers in your life already. The point is:

LEARN FROM ALL OF THEM!

The moment you learn, the moment you find the blessing, it takes the sting out of painful experiences and relationships, and removes confusion and discord. It also leads to greater understanding, acceptance and tolerance.

Ask yourself:

Is what I am hearing true? Is it always true? Can I still trust this message?

Is this example trustworthy, something that I want to emulate?

What can I learn from this person, this relationship, this interchange, positive or negative?

What is good that I admire and respect?

What is the positive opposite of what I am witnessing that I do not admire or respect, or dislike?

How can I use the words, message, example, positive or negative, of this person to be a better person myself?

What is the message others are getting from my life, my words and actions, my example?

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to the following:

http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com 

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