NO EXCUSE: Fast, Easy Ways to Practice Self-Hypnosis

Saturday, February 19

The National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists is sponsoring a 4-hour virtual retreat (Noon – 4 PM EST) in which Roxanne Louise will present the above seminar at 2:45.

Roxanne will show you how you can instantly shift into an empowered state using just a word or short phrase & gesture. Whether with eyes open (her effective Walking Mantra Technique), or with objects you regularly touch, places you go, activities you practice that you use as Anchors with Trigger Words, self-hypnosis can be made faster and easier than you may think. Consequently, NO EXCUSE!

For more information on the retreat, see

Roxanne is the author of a comprehensive 229 page manual, Your Unlimited Potential, a complete do-it-yourself Self-Hypnosis Course and Introduction to Professional Hypnotherapy. For description of this see

Distant Energy Healing

Healing has both physical and non-physical components.

The physical are obviously things like drugs, diet, supplements, surgery and other medical interventions, physical therapy, acupressure, massage, exercise, etc.

The non-physical include mental, emotional and spiritual healing, healing of relationships, stress management techniques such as self hypnosis, the Emotional Freedom Technique, Tapas Accupressure Technique, prayer, meditation, emotional support and love, energy healing modalities such as Reiki, , and other modalities such as hypnosis and dowsing. All of these can be considered forms of energy healing.

Both the physical and non-physical (or energetic) are important. Sometimes the non-physical makes the critical difference by freeing up stuck energy or blocks to healing, as well as adding more energy and improving the flow.

There are so many stories of miraculous healing — cases where the person was written off by the best medical treatment, and then through an intense prayer chain, recovered. Or you may have heard where forgiveness has also led to healing of disease. I like the story of Anita Moorjani, author of Dying to Be Me, who was declared dead of cancer, but through her near death experience was able to heal a lifelong issue that not only brought her back to life, but caused rapid elimination of her cancer.

Miracle healings should not be dismissed. Where an exception to the rule appears, it points to another rule that we should analyze and find out how to replicate.

Many prominent doctors and scientists say that all illness has a stress component, and without addressing that, healing will be partial, slower and more likely to reoccur. For example, a heart patient without learning how to address his emotions is setting himself up for another heart attack. Mental and emotional stress depresses the immune system. The body’s energy that should go into the healing process can be siphoned off to fight the tigers in our lives. This makes healing slower, harder or even impossible. It can cause a person to give up. And when a person loses their reason and desire to live, the body soon follows.

If some mental, emotional or spiritual issue is the root cause of a health condition and so weakened the body’s system that it was set it up for disease, then such issue or issues must be addressed or it will only reoccur.

Energy healing can be applied both by the person for himself, but also sent at a distance by someone else to him (distant healing).

Here’s how you can send distant healing to yourself or someone else:

  1. WRITE CLEAR INTENTION: down identifying information about the person, issue, and the positive intention. This should include the person’s name, maybe their address, or possibly their photo. You can also draw some visual representation of it. [NOTE: the positive intention is the OPPOSITE of the problem. If the complete opposite is outside of your belief system, then make the positive intention a MOVING TOWARDS the opposite, which is the ideal outcome. In other words, choose END RESULT or PROCESS.]
  2. SAFETY CLAUSE: Add some phrase to further signify a good outcome that does not go against the will of the recipient. Such phrase could be “in accordance with ____’s [name of person] highest good”, or “in a way in which ____ [name] is really pleased.” In Reiki, we say when sending energy, “you are free to accept or reject or use as you see fit.”
  3. PREPARE to send energy by GROUNDING (anchoring) your energy in the earth, then CENTERING (letting go of extraneous thoughts and focusing on your intention), CONNECTING to the Source of healing energy.
  4. BUILD ENERGY perhaps by deep breathing, clearing & expanding your energy field.
  5. FOCUS YOUR INTENT & SEND by directing image out your 3rd eye, love out your heart chakra, and healing energy out your hands towards their name or photo.
  6. DISCONNECT from the recipient’s energy field. Connect healing energy to yourself & imagine yourself healthy and well in every respect.

Instructions to Dowsers

If you are dowsing, you should check if each step is done before proceeding to the next step.

Copyright 1/2022 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links included with the content to and

Miracles of Escape

A fellow dowser, Adhi Two Owls, told the story of how she escaped what should have been instant death in a vehicle accident. Her truck was totaled when it tumbled down a steep hill, yet she walked out without a bruise or scratch.

I find such stories fascinating. What was it that defied the laws of nature? Was it just not her ‘time’? Divine intervention? Dumb luck?

I  too have been faced many times with scary, dangerous situations in which I could have/should have died or been seriously hurt. Here are a few:

#1. A Last Minute Warning

As I was walking out the door to my first day of Kindergarten (those were the days when neighborhoods were safer), my mother told me not to accept rides from strangers. Ten minutes later as I walked by the vocational school, some rowdy students slowed their car along side of me and with leers and mocking tones tried to get me to take a ride with them.

Listening to my mother’s last minute warning saved me.

#2. The Disturbed Boy in the Basement

In grammar school, I went down to the basement of the two family house where my family lived. The basement was always left unlocked. There in the corner of our canning jars was a boy hiding, obviously terrified. I recognized him as the mentally ill boy who lived in the neighborhood. I talked him into coming upstairs for a special treat my mother would give us, and while it took a while to reassure him, he eventually did. My mother then called the police who took him home. I believe that paying attention and being alert as I entered the basement, staying a distance away, and calming speaking with the intruder whom I correctly identified as more scared than dangerous helped.

Being alert and aware of my surroundings, staying calm so that I could correctly assess a potentially tricky situation was vital in the safe de-escalation.

#3. Shrunken Heads

At age 14, I went along with my father on his business trip to Providence, Rhode Island. While he was going to be working, he thought that I would enjoy spending the day visiting the local museum and park. With the long day ahead of me, I started to more diligently looking around the museum by reading all the tags in the display cases. A worker approached me and asked if I wanted a tour. Before I knew it, he led me up to the attic and locked the door behind us. I kept talking as if nothing was wrong, but kept moving around the rows of shrunken heads, keeping my distance always a few feet ahead of him, and then calmly walked back down the attic stairs to the exit where I could have been heard if I screamed, all the while maintaining my cool before demanding that he unlock the door. He finally did, and I breathed a sigh of relief. 

While I stupidly had gone with him into the attic, what helped me was to rapidly assess my situation. I was intently aware of where he was and how he was moving as I stayed ahead of him without getting distracted by the objects stored there. I quickly scanned for resources of things I could use (the exit and how to get there), the most likely place people would hear me if I had to yell for help, furniture I could have used as a body block, things I could have used to throw at him or to make enough noise (ie. breaking a window) to bring assistance.

#4. A Few Inches Saved My Life

Just out of college, I was driving home from a friend’s house in my VW Beetle. It had rained, and for some reason, my car skidded across 3 highway lanes and was heading straight into the car in the oncoming lane. In what I thought was my last moment before certain death, a 3-4 inch concrete divider stopped my car and saved me from a head-on collision into the on-coming lane.

#5. A Time to Swim, and a Time to Float

The following year I was about to fly to Europe for a trip back to the ‘motherland’. After many years of sitting at my grandmother’s feet listening to stories of her growing up in Europe, I wanted to return to my roots. A few days before I was scheduled to fly, I went with some friends on an overnight camping trip to Fire Island, New York. We swam all day. After they got out of the water, I remained in the water thinking that it would be a long time before I saw the ocean again. But very quickly I got caught in a rip tide and was pulled out to sea. I tried swimming against the current, but I could not. I tried waving my arms and yelling, but my friends did not see or hear me over the roar of the surf. I was getting exhausted, taking in water. I knew I was in serious danger, but I also knew that I did not have the strength to fight the tide. I decided that the only thing that I could do was to flip onto my back, face the oncoming waves, and take a deep breath before each wave crashed over me. Staying calm and conserving my energy was paramount to staying above water.

I floated and floated for an unknown period of time before I was aware that several men were pulling me into shore. Somehow, I must have drifted out of the current and back into the natural incoming tide. I learnt an important lesson that day.

There is a time to swim and a time to float.

A time to do all in your power to take direct action, and a time to conserve your energy and ride it out when it is clear that there is nothing else you can do.

#6. Engine Trouble

Within the week, I was on a flight on Icelandic Airlines–the cheapest flight to Europe at the time. There was an hour long delay before passengers could board the plane in New York. Then another long delay on the tarmac. Next was an emergency landing in Nova Scotia for repairs. I asked a flight attendant about it. She responded that it was not anything serious like engine trouble, because if it were, we would be there for 4 hours. We were there for 4 hours. Continuing on the flight to Iceland, I saw one of the propellers sputter and stop, but we made it to land safely anyway. Many of the passengers decided not to get back on board while the plane was again grounded for yet another 4 hours of emergency repairs. But I continued. On the final leg of the trip, we flew only about 100 feet above the water where I watched the waves beneath us during the entire journey.

Very shaken, I arrived in Luxembourg and the youth hostel. While showering, all of my money and traveler’s checks were stolen. The next day, I went into town to report the theft to the police and the American Express office. I was stung by some flying insect that caused my entire arm to swell up as if I had elephantiasis, and gave me a fever that persisted for a few days. Back into town the next day for medical treatment. Bad omen for what was to come. 

Lesson: While I safely reached my destination, that was pure luck. I should have paid attention to all the obvious and done as so many other passengers did, which was to take another flight.

#6. A Premonition

Yet another time I was all packed and ready to leave central Virginia in my motorhome to speak at a hypnosis conference outside of Chicago. At the last minute before leaving, a neighbor called. And I was about to say “if I don’t see you again, I just want to say goodbye.” And I immediately thought, “what was that about?” This neighbor lived across the street. Of course, I am going to see her again, unless….something happened to me. Was I going to die on this trip? 

With a premonition of danger, I drove only 25 miles/hour over a long, windy, narrow mountain pass that goes up 4000+ feet and over the Appalachian Mountains. As I was coming down my brakes gave out just as I was going around a sharp curve.  This made it impossible for me to prevent hitting the tall boulders that lined the entire right side of the road. The side door of the motorhome was crushed, and I had to exit out a window. When I examined the damage, the impact missed the propane tank by only a couple of inches. Had I been going any faster, it would have exploded.

Paying attention to a premonition saved me .

#7. A Last Minute Thought

Again all packed and just 30 minutes before leaving for yet another conference half-way across the country, I had a last minute thought to make up the bed because I would be exhausted after driving all day. And it was paying attention to a last minute thought that saved me. This bed lowers from the ceiling. As I was tucking in the sheets, what was between my hands half-way under the bed, and looking eyeball to eyeball with me was a copperhead snake (very poisonous).

I dropped the mattress, ran outside and a neighbor to help me. Unfortunately, the snake escaped from his snare and was able to get into a floor vent and from there anywhere in the ventilation system. A State Trooper who raises poisonous snakes came to my aid. But we were unable to find and remove him. However, we found 3 more snakes in various areas of the storage bays. No surprise that I stayed home, put mothballs and glue traps everywhere, and didn’t drive that thing for a while. The thought of me driving at high speeds on the highway with these critters moving around, or me crawling into bed later?…..Scary!


I invite you to write to me about your own stories of escape to remind us all of those moments of grace, divine intervention, or whatever made the difference.

Copyright 1/2022 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links included with the content

Dowsing on Global Issues

Dowsers can be part of the solution 

When you consider the serious problem of inadequate or polluted water, dowsers has historically made a difference. But there are dowsers who have also found missing persons, reduced human trafficking, crime and traffic accidents. Dowsers have worked on physical healing and geopathic stress also related to ill health and other problems.

As dowsers, we are powerfully blessed with the ability to tap into the greater field of consciousness directly to obtain needed information to help ourselves and others. This is critically important today as we are continuously being bombarded with other peoples version of the truth, much with an agenda behind the official truths presented, that we have to go direct to Source for new approaches. As we deliberately let go of preconceived ideas, ego, hopes and fears, and connect firmly to that great universal field of consciousness, we increase accuracy to the questions we ask.

Through intention, dowsing can lessen the detrimental effect of mass consciousness, especially important today as the mass contagion of fear is so assiduously promoted by the media. By seeking answers directly from Source, dowsing can mitigate mass marketing, propaganda, mind control and other unwanted influence from others that would push us in the direction of their agenda and away from the truth and from what is in our highest good.

Dowsing develops our gut level instincts, our awareness of what is right and true, and increases our discernment.

As dowsers, we know how to draw up a list of possibilities to any question we might ask, and dowse out a realistic plan to solve any problem we might wish to solve: the best course of action, the priorities, and the timing in which to put that plan of action into place.

We dowsers fully understand the power of clear, focused intent, and how to project that intention to affect positive change and to heal. As we can band together in groups, we can multiply that power of intention to correct the very problems we face in the world today.

In my opening talk at last year’s American Society of Dowsers Convention, I quoted from Stephen A. Schwartz, a consciousness researcher, and former Keynote Presenter. He said:

“we are in this matrix of consciousness where all life and all consciousness is interconnected, we cannot really design the solutions” to world problems unless we recognize that “working with consciousness is one of the ways we can achieve not only personal well being but social well-being” as well. 

He further stated that “As far as I can see, there is no greater power than the collective intention of a large group of people. It can change politics. It can change physical reality. It can affect healing….Consciousness is the fundamental we are dealing with…” 

“You have the power through your intention to literally alter the circumstances of your physical surroundings…and the structure of reality.” 

I believe that especially at this time dowsers are being called to use what they know to help both themselves and others.

So what are those problems facing us globally? [list]

  1. inadequate water supplies for people, crops, animals
  2. polluted drinking water, rivers, streams, oceans
  3. excessive water or flooding
  4. major storms causing loss of life, physical devastation, crop/livestock loss
  5. weather warfare
  6. EMF & other dangerous energies from technology – 3, 4, 5G
  7. toxicity
  8. crime
  9. tyranny by power groups (governments or big corporations or money interests) over the lives of the people
  10. breakdown of the family unit and social support for the individual
  11. loss of the middle class, and displacement of huge swaths of the population into the category of the poor
  12. increasing dependence upon government

Problem Solution from the Front or Back End 

There are a few basic ways to work on the problem.

  1. Work on the front end by creating conditions that prevent the problem from even occurring. For example, fostering health through highly nutritious food, clean water, air, sunshine,  that makes people healthy and naturally resistant to disease. Using farming practices that naturally enhance the health of the soil and beneficial insects.
  2. Work on the back end of the problem with devices, products and technologies. For example, on health – creating medicines or medical procedures such as surgery to deal with disease. Or chelation machines to remove toxicity from the body caused by heavy metals. Or with water, water treatment plants or home purification units to purify polluted drinking water.
  3. Work on the back end of the problem by restoring what is missing from the front end. For example, not allowing disposal of toxic chemicals or refuse into the oceans or waterways. Not allowing poisons in the food or home or personal care products that cause disease. This involves public awareness and support, government regulations and legislation and requires a free press and protection against censorship and protection for whistleblowers.

Dowsing through basic problem solving is and has traditionally addressed approaches #1-3. But for the purpose of this presentation, I am going to address what is not generally talked about, which is using dowsing to

  1. Work to correct the consciousness that contributes to, causes, or allows the problem to continue.
  2. Work to create the consciousness that naturally sets up conditions fostering personal and societal well being.

Possible Dowsing Charts or Checklists to Create

Doctors have said that most of those who died from the corona virus were already severely ill and immune compromised. So why not write a dowsing chart on “Ways to Boost the Immune System”? Make a list of what health experts are already advocating, include the word ‘other’ on your list, and then dowse out what you might want to add, increase, decrease, or eliminate from your diet, supplements, lifestyle, etc. Use the same dowsing chart or checklist to help your family members.

Fear paralyzes the breathing mechanism. Feelings of uncertainty and confusion sets up paralysis of action. Get your energy moving by focusing on a solution to anything whether improving your health or some other area of your life. For example, you might want to create dowsing charts/checklists on: 

  • 201806 awardASD:me.crop copyHow to Reduce Inflammation
  • How to Detoxify my Body
  • How to Reduce Stress
  • What is the Best Dietary Plan for Me?
  • Plan of Action to ___
  • Ways to Prosper in Spite of ___
  • Alternate Sources of Income
  • What Can I/We Learn from This?
  • How Can I Turn This Into a Blessing?
  • How Can I Add More Fun Into My Life on a Regular Basis?
  • How Can I Improve My Relationships?
  • The Best Exercise Program for Me
  • How Can I Best Use This Down Time to My Advantage?

Dowsing Focus Groups

Groups generate positive energy, enthusiasm, ideas, comradery and support. They encourage their members to take action and stay on track to complete projects. Why not set up a dowsing group to focus on combating any of the many problems we face in the world? Many of these problems such as pollution in the air and water, depleted soil, pesticides contribute to disease both directly and indirectly. Dowsers can commit themselves to working to mitigate any of these problems. Just as radionic practitioners can broadcast minerals to the soil, pesticides to crops, and medicines to animals, so can dowsers through clear, focused intention.

Consider assembling a dowsing intention group whether as a one-time event or an on-going project. Perhaps model yourselves along the lines of Lynn McTaggert’s ‘Power of Eight’ groups. They work best when they meet every week whether online or in person even for as little as ten minutes. Don’t neglect this powerful tool for healing and creating positive change!

Use intention also to create and energetically transmit healing and project a joyful image of people – yourself, your friends, family and community, and people around the world smiling, happy, healthy, living meaningful lives, cooperating and helping one another. In other words, create an image of a world you want to live in, one that supports life on this planet with clean air, clean water, nourishing food, healthy people, plants and animals and dowse for that. One of my favorite intentions is turn it into a blessing.”

The list is endless of what constructive action you can take with dowsing. 

Copyright 1/2022 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and links included with the content.

Learning from Bad Relationships – Part 2.

The below is the second  part of a series of real life examples. For Part 1. see

In Part 1, I said that your gut might be telling you that something is ‘off’, but you don’t know what is off or how, whether those feelings are trustworthy, nor how serious they are, and what you should do about it. 

I gave you a real life example of circumstances that pushed me to get engaged to someone before really clarifying or knowing how things might change once we were married. And once I got a clear gut level warning that something was wrong on the eve of the wedding, I was so heavily invested that extraditing myself was going to be painful and humiliating. Consequently, I went ahead with the marriage only to break up a year later.

Here are other reasons why you may be stuck not knowing the right thing to do and why you are having difficulty in taking appropriate and timely action in a relationship – 

  • not considering or correctly knowing in advance the likely consequences of your choices or decisions, 
  • not having an older, wiser, more experienced person with whom you can confide for good advice,
  • not feeling comfortable in discussing certain matters with others who might be able to help,
  • low evaluation of your own self-worth,
  • difficulty or inability to stand up for yourself,
  • ignorance of your own power to make your dreams to come true on your own, and
  • fear – fear of making the wrong decision, fear of the other person, fear of being alone, fear of not making it on your own, fear of humiliation, fear of ___. 

Even with friends or loved ones, you might feel that some matters are too personal or embarrassing to discuss. Some topics are taboo especially with those who might judge you like your parents, teachers, or minister. Or you may think or find that others are as clueless as you and unable to help.

Perhaps you think you can choose one option, and if it doesn’t work out, that the other option will still be available for you. For some things that will be true. But other things are an either/or. Knowing that making one choice will forever close the door to the other option/s might be precisely why you are stuck and afraid to make a decision that may turn out to be a big mistake.

Too Young to Go Steady

My first love was in high school. His name was Donald. Donald was an aggressive pursuer who went after what he wanted, which was me. I was a twirler and he played in the band, so we were at all the school games together. We started going out every week, which usually meant the movies, sitting in the balcony to watch the first showing, then necking during the second. Then his father drove me home while to my embarrassment, Donald wanted to continue kissing me as his father saw us in the rear view mirror. 

At the end of junior year he asked me to go steady, but I felt too young to be in an exclusive relationship and never possibly date another person. So to let everyone in the school know that I was open to date other boys too, I invited someone else to the junior debutante ball. Don was hurt and broke up with me, taking someone else to the very same dance. I was sorry, but it was too late. 

Donald broke up with this girl after high school, and married someone he met in college. He became a surgeon and they raised a family together. I saw Donald again and met his lovely wife many years later at a high school reunion. He came up behind me, putting his hands over my eyes, then swinging me around to give me a big hug. He was my first love, as I believe I was for him. Donald finally died passing out from low blood sugar while flying his plane solo. 

What can I learn from this?  

I did not consider how my asking someone else to the dance would be seen by Donald as an unforgivable slap in the face in lieu of all the time we had spent together. Even if I did not want to go steady, I should have made my feelings of love clear to him , and have invited him to the dance.

He Says He Loves Me, But…..

With Donald clearly out of the picture, other boys asked me out. The next one of any importance will remain nameless. He was intelligent, genius level – so smart he was promoted a full school grade ahead although we were the same age. He was going to my father’s alma mater to become an engineer also like my father. I absolutely adored his family including his grandparents, aunts and uncles. In fact, I wanted to move out of my house as my mother and I fought a lot, and to be part of his family instead. 

This fellow like his predecessor was a fervent pursuer. We went out every weekend. He called me multiple times daily. He sent me letters although he lived close by. But he also was pressuring me more than I felt comfortable. 

One night as he drove me home after a date, he asked me to go steady. And like Donald before, I told him no. But this made him fly into a rage and he stepped on the gas until we were going 90 miles an hour down a residential road. He said that if he couldn’t have me that he would kill us both. 

I was now afraid to say no to him. Yet I told no one of the incident. Nor did I tell anyone that I suspected that his multiple daily phone calls were driven not just by love but to check up on me – to make sure that I was home and not out possibly with someone else (no cell phones in those days). 

I told no one either that a few times he waited at my car in the college parking lot. Was this love, obsession, or an insane jealousy to see if I was alone? If he was truly concerned, why not just meet me outside of class to walk me safely down the long hill to my car? It made me uncomfortable. Instead of feeling loved, I felt as if I was being watched or even stalked. But time would pass and my uneasiness would once more calm down. 

In my senior year in college, he asked me to marry him. I went to my father to tell him about the proposal secretly hoping he would say no. Yet still, I did not reveal the instances of periodic jealousy and temper of my suitor. Without knowing the details, my father gave me his permission to wed, and so I got engaged. I was unable to say no on my own.

As I said, the real draw to this man was his family. But in addition to that, my mother told me in a fit of anger that no man would want to live with or marry me. She said that only once, but it stung me so hard that it went deep into my psyche and I figured that no good man would want me, but only someone who needed me. This man wanted me. And all the girls my age were getting engaged and happily planning their weddings. I wanted that for myself too. 

In those days, a woman who had not snagged a husband [the phrase commonly used at the time] by a certain age was thought destined to be an old maid. The thinking of the time was that a woman needed a man to make it financially as well as it was the only socially unacceptable way she could have children, something I very much wanted.

Thankfully, an argument arose regarding wedding details. In front of his parents and sister, he flew into a rage, throwing a ring I had given him on the floor. His father drove me home. Having witnesses to his temper was precisely what I needed to finally have the strength to end the relationship. Once home, I called and told him to pick up the engagement ring I left in the mailbox. Now, it was finally over.

What allowed this relationship to continue for four years was that I lacked not only the inherent belief in being lovable and worthy of always being treated with respect, but I also lacked faith in myself to make my dreams to come true without a man there to support and love me. I bought into the current feeling of the times that a woman without a man was not just socially suspect, but unable to financially make it in the world, have a successful career, afford a home of her own, or be able to raise a family. I did not want to give up my dreams of what I thought was a good life, the American dream, nor did I want to be lonely. I wanted love and companionship. I wanted to belong to someone and make all the difference to their life. So I perhaps was fooling myself that I could have been happy with this person, or that I felt more for him than I did.

What can I learn from this? 

•Low self worth sets you up to accept or tolerate unacceptable behavior. Yet as your self evaluation varies for different aspects of your life, you can high self esteem in one area, and low in another.

•Not standing up for myself at the first instance of bad behavior set me up for more of same.

•Threats of harm should be reported. In retrospect, I should have informed both my parents and his of his behavior.

Tune in for the next in the series. Let me know what you think. 

What have you learned from your own unpleasant experience/s? 

Send any questions or comments to

Copyright 2022 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and  are included with the content.

Learning from Bad Relationships, Part 1.

The below is the first part of a series of real life examples.

I have learned a lot from bad experiences, particularly from bad relationships. Pain has always gotten my attention and has been the driving motivation to learn and to change. There were a number of reasons for my getting into and having difficulty getting out of bad relationships the most important being not feeling worthy of love.

My parents, who were both children of immigrants, never told me that they loved me. They assumed that I would just know. And I think that they felt that compliments would cause me to be egotistical. As I entered teenage years and started dating, my mother became increasingly critical, and controlling. I was repeatedly threatened to be expelled from the family if I did not obey the rules of the house. And during one particular day when I was 14, she was angry because I had rearranged all the kitchen cookware and she couldn’t find what she wanted. And she said “Who’ll marry you? Who will live with you?” This cut deep into my psyche.

Another reason for my unhappy relationships was that I did not talk to anyone about my relationships. Indeed, I did not know who could provide the feedback, wisdom and guidance I needed. Another reason was that I was not paying attention to my gut. I did not know how to interpret gut level feelings, and, consequently, I was not acting on them.

Your gut is a vital part of discernment. Yet when you get an uncomfortable feeling that something is ‘off’, what does that mean? How is it ‘off’? And what does that mean as to what you should do about it? Can you trust that uneasy feeling? Is it a serious warning of danger or just a caution to slow down and sort some things out? Does it mean that something can’t be fixed? Should you stop what you are doing or about to do, end a relationship, break ties, move out, quit? Should you take some action, and if so what?

Part 1. The Night Before the Wedding

Decades ago I was dating a man that seemed incredibly romantic. He was a fantastic dancer, which is how we met. He would leave love notes inside the kitchen cabinet. He was supportive of my career. He was great with my young son. And it was partly because my son was acting out and very much needed the guidance of a loving but firm hand from a father figure that I sought to marry him. As a single mom, I needed help. I also felt that I needed a man to protect me from my ex-husband who had threatened to kill me. And in those days a respectable woman could not sleep around nor have a boyfriend move in with her and her children without getting married.

But the night before the wedding this man was particularly harsh with my son, and it made me question if I was doing the right thing. My mother pleaded with me not to go through with the ceremony. But everything was ready to go in less than 18 hours and I didn’t think I would be able to reach everyone. Soloists and a full professional choir were traveling two or more hours away for what was to be a big musical production. Then there was all the food, and so many guests for whom I did not have phone numbers. I had to make a decision quickly if  I was going to reach everyone in order to cancel. Would that even be possible? It was now too late to just delay matters and take a time out. Cancelling the wedding would be ending the relationship. 

I decided that it must be just wedding jitters on my lover’s part, and so we were married. But that one instance of harshness with my son turned out to the portent of serious problems to come and we divorced a year later. 

I believe we can learn from even the most painful and humiliating experiences. And so I ask myself:

What can I learn from this? 

  • If I could do it all over again, what would I have done differently and could that have made a difference?
  • Was I too hasty in getting involved, too naive, too trusting? 
  • Did I fail to lay down proper guidelines for the relationship whether business or personal? 
  • Did I gloss over early clues or problems which subsequently grew bigger and now more difficult/expensive/emotionally upsetting to rectify? 
  • Was I so heavily invested that extraditing myself was going to be painful, and so to avoid the pain, I did little but complain but do nothing of substance? 
  • Was I more afraid or ashamed to admit I was wrong or for others to know I screwed up and so I pretended otherwise? Was I just saving face?
  • Knowing what I know now, how will I act going forward?

Awareness Born Out of Pain Can Make You a Better Person

Knowing how it feels to be treated badly, how thoughtless words can sting, and how loving words not said can also hurt, can provide the needed awareness in the wounded person to do the opposite. As a result of experiencing negative consequences from not being told by my parents that I was loved, I have made it a point to end every conversation and email with my son, other family members and friends with “love you”.

Let me know what you think. What have you learned from your own unpleasant experience/s? Send any questions or comments to

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to and  are included with the content.

When Manifestation Doesn’t Work

Sooner or later anyone working on goal setting & achievement, or following the Law of Attraction runs into obstacles.  You may  double down, get help and become proactive in following professional advice and doing everything you know to be ‘right’. Yet the desired results you hope for may not be happening. Why not? You might ask,What am I not getting? I’m doing everything I know to do. I’ve got the skills and I’m working as hard as I can. What am I missing?”

Below are some possibilities, but there can be more. 

Reason #1. Lack of Clarity ​- Fuzzy goals = fuzzy results. Try to learn about and expose yourself as much as possible to what you THINK you want.  The more you know, the more you experience, the clearer you will be as to exactly what you want.

Reason #2. Conflicts and Mutually Exclusive Goals – This may be within yourself, the relationship or group. Sometimes a personal conflict can be resolved by pursuing one big goal (i.e. having & raising a baby) at one time in life and pursuing other important goals (i.e. travel/career) at another. If possible, use the wait time with training or preparation. Is it possible to do something related to your big goal now? Can you be in the environment and around people in the field you want? 

Years ago when I was studying voice while pregnant and then raising a son whilst dreaming of one day having an opera career, I got a job as secretary at the Metropolitan Opera. This allowed me to listen to and watch rehearsals, gave me free tickets to performances, and see and speak with the artists. So, while I was doing secretarial work (which I disliked), working at the Met was a dream. And later I did actually did to get to sing several times on it’s stage.

Reason # 3. Disbelief & Doubt– All goals have challenges, which can increase doubt, negative self-talk, and drain the energy and determination necessary to resolve those challenges. At times like this, it is good to ask, “If it could work, how would it work?” 

It’s also good to remind yourself of all the things you already accomplished. Not only did you learn to walk, run, ride a bike no matter how many times you fell down and got hurt, but you learned to talk, read, write, do math, drive a car, do a job, and the thousands of other things to manage life and support yourself. Focus on all the things you once thought were impossible but which you were able to do.

Reason #4Attitude, Victimhood or Other Detrimental Beliefs ​- Play Devil’s Advocate: who says ‘you can’t? If it’s really important, you’ll figure it out, that is if you really want to and are willing to commit yourself to doing the work.

Reason #5Inability/Unwillingness to Resolve Issues/Problems as They Arise – ​Identify the problem if you can, and then focus on solution. Experiment, get help or advice. Turn problems into an interesting puzzle that gives rather draining your energy.

Reason #6. Resistance, Unresolved Trauma or Fears from Your Past or the Past of Others Internalized by You Babies absorb their mother’s emotions while in the womb, and everyone throughout life is influenced by the fears/blocks/traumas of those in their family and group. I help people resolve this. See my Zoom workshop “Healing Through Time” coming up this October.

Reason #7Not Being in Alignment/Resonance with the Goal, or Being in Alignment with the Problem – What happens in your gut when you think of your goal? Do you get a smooth hum? Does your heart sing? Do you have a deep, internal sense of rightness? 

Think of having achieved your goal already and living in that reality. Does your heart continue to sing? If your gut tightens, then there is something that needs to be resolved or you will have difficulty or self-sabotage. For example, maybe you want a big, beautiful house but you don’t want the pressure of what it will take to get it, nor the on-going pressure of the mortgage, or maintenance, or being tied down to a specific location, etc.

Reason #8. Lack of Follow Through/Action – ​Nothing is achieved if no consistent action is taken. However, any action no matter how small builds energy to continue forward. Inertia is the enemy. Having a buddy to work with or who holds you accountable to some task helps a lot!

Reason # 9. Message from Your Soul or the Universe to Change Course ​- Sometimes the message comes from continuous roadblocks or health issues.

Dr. Bernie Siegal in Love, Medicine & Miracles talks about a lawyer who had cancer and was given 6 months to live. He closed his law practice, and decided to spend the last remaining time with his family on the Colorado ski slopes. Once relocated, he got involved in the community orchestra and reacquainted himself with his early desire to be a musician. More than a year later, he was still alive and seemingly healthy. 

Reason #10. External Sabotage​ – ​Jealousy, back stabbing, deliberate sabotage, and more occurs all the time, especially as a person becomes more successful and seen as competition. Having a circle of support is really important.

Reason #11. Being in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time ​- Just because you have a dream, skills, talent doesn’t mean that the local marketplace or society is interested or can support it. Is there another area that would be receptive to what you have to offer, and would even allow you to pursue your dream? 

Can you work on your dream in off hours even if not possible as a fulltime career? Charles Ives did. During the day, he worked in the insurance industry, while at night, he composed music. Nonetheless, although composing only on a part-time basis, he became one of the first American composers of international renown. Early on, his music was largely ignored. However,  later in life, the quality of his music was publicly recognized, and he came to be regarded as an “American original”. 

I know from personal experience that if something is important to you, it is a call from your Spirit you must answer regardless of  financial reward or public recognition. 

Reason #12. Missing 1 or More Key Components for SuccessGoals include multiple components that need to come all together for a project to be a success. I write lists for every part of it, and then dowse out what I need to do and in what order. Inevitably, there are parts that I need to farm out to someone more knowledgeable or experienced than myself. I use dowsing throughout the entire process to pinpoint and to resolve issues.

Reason #13. Incorrect Assessment of the Market/Clientele ​- If you need to obtain money, recognition, support from others, you need to know who they are, what they want, and what is possible. For example, you would never try to set up a pork sausage store in a Jewish neighborhood. 

Reason #14. Missing Support – Personal or Professional ​ I don’t believe that anyone is successful completely on their own. We are social beings. While some garner strength in nature or in spirituality, we still need someone in the flesh that is on our side to encourage, inspire, hold our hand, give us a needed hug or a shoulder to cry on,someone to just be there to listen or provide some help. While much help is available online, and a lot is available to hire, it is necessary to find people who really care about you. Pets help too.

Reason #15. Issues with Communication – Are you able to clearly express what you need and want (and don’t want), when and how? Are you able to communicate respectfully with clients, colleagues, staff, vendors, lenders, etc. in a way in which they want to work with you? Are you able to speak up for yourself, set appropriate boundaries? 

Reason #16. Personality ​-Certain vocations call for particular personality types, and so do certain goals. Is your personality naturally suited for your goal/s or do you need to make big adjustments to your natural temperament? Do you need help to overcome a tendency to withdraw into a shell or to become aggressive or explosive when stressed? 

Reason #17.  Shadow Issues ​- Your shadow consists of elements within your personality that you keep hidden and even deny. These can be archetypes such as the Witch, Bitch, Judge, Executioner, Child, Wimp, Nerd, etc. What is denied cannot be healed. All archetypes can probably be healed through recognition, acceptance, and appropriate expression. For example, it is appropriate for a parent to show up as Mama Bear to protect their own kids, or a Witch or Bitch to draw a line in the sand over which someone else does not tread. The flip side is that the unacknowledged, unhealed Shadow has a way of showing up destructively and sabotaging your plans. 

Reason #18. Lack of Passion or Emotional Pull Passion drives action and provides energy to overcome obstacles. Without a reason, goals wither on the vine. Is the goal really yours – something you want for yourself, not just something that would please or impress others? Is it really important enough to sustain effort over the long haul? Is it a ‘would be nice if it happened, but I don’t really want to commit to it or expend too much energy on it?’

Reason #19. Rigidity, Unwillingness to Adapt to the Brick Wall ​- It’s great when goals progress smoothly towards completion. But when reaches an impasse that defies breakthrough, then a reassessment is in order. Some people are unwilling to compromise or shift tactics or make adjustments. And sometimes that is the right thing to do while continuing to look for a way around the wall. But sometimes such stubbornness brings only bitterness, blame, or an excuse for why their life isn’t working. 

Reason #20. Magical Thinking ​- Incorporating fantasy is an important part of dream building and visualizing success. But then there is a lot of work to do. Are you willing? And are you doing it on a consistent, regular basis for as long as it takes? 


Zoom Workshop: Healing Through Time – Stop Negative Repeating Patterns

Post FLAGSTAFF DOWSING CONFERENCE: Live on Sunday, October 24, 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM (Pacific Time), 1-3 PM (Eastern) with recorded replays available later for those unable to attend.

Have you ever thought “if I could do it all over again, I would ___”? What if I told you that right now that you can gain many healing benefits by energetically redoing the past and designing a more positive future through focused intention and dowsing? You don’t even have to know where or when the problems began.

Physicists are saying that all time is simultaneous. If this is true, then we should be able to energetically go into the past to resolve and clear issues, and negative repeating patterns, judgments and trauma, go into the future to clear negative future projections and create a positive future, download and share greater resources throughout all our timelines!

If you have been frustrated with the same upsetting issue cropping up in your personal or professional life despite efforts to change it, you are missing something. Perhaps you are missing the root and relevant subsequent causes whether they started with you, your family, culture or even your ancestors. In this dowsing workshop you will learn multiple steps to work on any issue so that you are empowered with greater resources in going forward. This will change the resonance that attracts or sustains a negative pattern. Change your default setting to one that is empowering, and sets up a resonance that allows you for create a more positive future.

In all her classes and client work, Roxanne integrates her extensive background in hypnosis, dowsing, NLP, the Infinite Intelligence Process, Reiki and other energy healing techniques to deliver a more comprehensive and powerful resolution of issues.

For questions or to Register, email Roxanne Louise: 

Cost is $60 payable on the Donate Button at the homepage of WriteFlagstaff” in the notes. I will send you confirmation of receipt and the link to workshop and replays at least a week before. Here is link:

Lifting Connected Consciousness Meditation

FREE live session on Sunday, June 27

at 7:30 PM Eastern US time.

Dial 605-313-5141. Enter Participant Code: 92619# at the prompt.

This session will be recorded so sign up for the live broadcast and the link to the recording by sending an email to

Recently Roxanne Louise gave a presentation entitled “Lifting Connected Consciousness” and 3 meditations expanding upon that topic at the American Society of Dowsers Conference, June 11-13, 2021. The live session will serve both to summarize some key points of that presentation, answer questions, and lead everyone into a meditation to energetically to raise both our own state and to generate positive energy for the planet.

Join us by tuning in. And if you provide your email to, you will be sent a link to receive the recording of such call.

Share with others, and relisten to the meditation as often as you deem helpful.

Dowsing on Health Revisited

FREE Video Presentation,

Monday, May 17, 2021 ,

8 PM ET, 5 PM Pacific.

Dowsers Mastermind Video/Conference Call

Access from your computer, tablet or smartphone.

You can also dial in using your phone. For supported devices, tap a one-touch number below to join instantly.

In the United States: dial +1 (571) 317-3116

One-touch: tel:+15713173116,,998075477#

Access Code: 998-075-477

The root meanings of the words”health,” “whole,” and “holy” are all derived from the Anglo-Saxon word root: “hal.” The word “healing” is derived from the same word root and means “to restore to a state of wholeness, soundness, or integrity.” In Middle English, physical health also meant “prosperity, happiness, welfare; preservation and safety”. 

As such, the approach to robust, good health requires a comprehensive plan that encompasses every facet of a person’s life. Relating health care to only one type of professional, aka doctors of allopathic medicine, cannot address the multiple factors outside of their expertise in enhancing and maintaining good health, nor in healing once physical issues are apparent. These factors include good nutrition, quality sleep, maintenance of the muscular and skeleton structure through appropriate exercise or body movements such as yoga/Tai Chi, etc. It includes deep breathing of clean fresh air and drinking adequate amounts of clean water, habits and life style, elimination of environmental toxins, EMFs, electrical magnetic pollution, and geopathic stress. It includes creating and maintaining supportive relationships, quick elimination or reduction of mental and emotional stress, healing of unresolved trauma & emotional issues, beneficial belief systems and dealing with detrimental ones. It includes moral and spiritual factors and meaning and purpose.

Many diseases including life-threatening ones such as cancer, can be developing or even actively present in the body FOR YEARS before the symptoms are apparent and ill effects cannot be dismissed or ignored. Healing from any condition is almost never as simple as take this pill, undergo this surgery because the problem usually comes from years of poor diet and exercise, bad habits or lifestyle, toxicity, stress, unresolved issues, negative beliefs and judgments, emotions and conflicts. These issues still have to be addressed. No physician in the world can remedy all of the factors involved. No matter how good or how necessary their expertise, physicians specialize in only one narrow band of the problem such as diagnosis, surgery, pharmaceuticals, and high tech treatment such as radiation.


We know that dowsing is a powerful tool for problem solving of all kinds. In making your own charts and checklists, it uses your knowledge, training, and analytical mind to brainstorm possible sources of any problem, and to list possible solutions. Then as you enter an alpha state of consciousness and tap into the greater consciousness system, you can zero in on those items most likely to yield the greatest results.

As dowsers, we can periodically review these charts and checklists to monitor the various factors and take proactive steps on a ‘can’t hurt’ basis before a problem arises, as well as to create a well-rounded approach to healing once a problem has occurred. This is a vital addition to whatever professionals we employ to help us. In fact, you can even use dowsing to know who to engage in putting together your healing team.

Use dowsing to

  • design a well-rounded health care program and
  • set priorities of what to do or not do to stay healthy or to heal if sick

Dowsing in this way makes sense and can save a heap of time.

Committing yourself to address the bigger picture and other issues is your responsibility.

Where do you start?

This is the focus of discussion for a video presentation hosted by three Chapters of the American Society of Dowsers: the Gold Coast Dowsers, Northern California Dowsers and Boston Dowsers.

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