Central Virginia Dowsers Newsletter 9/7/18

image              Not just local news!

Contents:

1. Next Central Virginia Dowsers Meeting, Charlottesville, Sunday, September 9 “Hypnosis to Enhance Your Dowsing!”

2. Three Free Monthly Teleconferences sponsored by the American Society of Dowsers – all 8 PM Eastern time

  • Dowsing Support and Continuing Education, 2nd  Tuesday of the month

  • Water Dowsing, 3rd Monday

  • Discover Dowsing, 3rd Tuesday

3. Recording Available for a limited time: Susan McNeill Spuhler, Dowsing for Missing Persons, Pets and Objects, ASD Discover Dowsing Series.Listen here.

Central Virginia Dowsers Meetings 

  • Held on the 2nd Sunday of the month at 1:15 PM – 3:30 or 4 PM
  • Mark your calendar: September 9, October 14, November 11 (no meeting in December)
  • Meetings are free and open to all but we ask you to advise us that you are coming in case of weather or other cancellation. 
  • Location: Senior Center, Charlottesville, VA 22901
  • NOTE that street name has changed from 1180 Pepsi Place to 491 Hillsdale Drive (same building)

September 9 Meeting: “Hypnosis to Enhance Your Dowsing” with Roxanne Louise

This is the presentation that Roxanne gave at both the American Society of Dowsers Conference in June at SUNY, New Paltz, NY, and at UC Santa Cruz, CA in July. 

Experience hypnosis with multiple suggestions for successful dowsing. Tap into the unconscious and enhance your ability to access higher wisdom and universal mind. Learn to quickly go in and out of hypnosis for centering, clarifying your dowsing intention, and increasing your focus. Have an anchor installed that triggers the right dowsing state of mind every time you pick up your dowsing tools. Enlarge your belief in yourself and your ability to learn and improve upon your dowsing skills. 

In addition to the presentation, there will be dowsing tools/books available for sale. And both Roxanne and Nicolas Finck will be on hand to answer your questions about dowsing or provide a quick mini lesson.

Free American Society of Dowsers Teleconferences –

New Dial-in number for live call: 1-646-876-9923, enter 984-952-3909#. At the next prompt, please just press # again.

All calls are recorded and put online the following day. Look for the archived recording in the Members Only section of www.dowsers.org. 

1.  Dowsing Support & Continuing Education Teleconference, every second Tuesday at 8 PM Eastern Time (US). 

Each month Roxanne Louise assisted by 1-2 other dowsers picks a dowsing topic and then takes questions on any aspect of dowsing. For beginners to advanced.

  • Tuesday, September 11, “Dowsing Through Your Fears” with Alan Handelsman
  • October 9, “Energy Clearing Techniques” with Wayne Hoff
  • November 13, “Why the Devil Won’t My Dowsing Work?” with Keith Smythe
  • December 11, TBA.  

Tuesday, September 11 at 8 PM Eastern “Dowsing Through Your Fears” 

Because this is the anniversary of the attack on the Twin Towers, the topic this month is “Dowsing Through Your Fears”. Alan Handelsman will join Roxanne Louise on the call.
Alan Handelsman, dowser, hypnotherapist, and comedian, was a professional musician (flute) for 30 years. Alan asks “What if there are no negative emotions? What if the very emotions you are fighting contain the power you need to improve your life?” He also adds “We learn the habit of fear as we learn the skill of riding a bicycle. The difference is that we only ride a bike when we choose to, while the habit of fear becomes automatic. Even after the danger is over, the fear lingers. This fear can be released, so that new dangers don’t engender old fears.”
Besides being a presenter, Alan regularly provides comic relief for Fun Night at the West Coast Dowsers Conference. His website is www.sourcehypnosis.com. He is based in Scottsdale, Arizona, and can be reached at 602-478-8346.
Roxanne Louise, dowser, ASD Board Member, hypnotherapist, and former classical singer, was in Newark, NJ right on the Hudson River on 9/11, directly across from Lower Manhattan within eyesight of the Towers. While Roxanne did not actually see the buildings fall because of being on the opposite side of the building, her car was covered in the ash debris. One of her clients got killed, another was let go the Friday before along with his department of 40. All those not severed from the company because of a buyout were dead on Tuesday as it was the very floor that a plane hit. This is a vivid illustration that what seems like a terrible thing to happen (such as losing your job), can be a blessing in disguise. Her bio is at the end.

2.Water Dowsing Teleconference every 3rd Monday of the month at 8 PM Eastern time each with a different expert water dowser. Recording available to members afterwards at dowsers.org. Next calls are September 17, October 15, November 19, December 17

2. “Discover Dowsing Teleconference”, every 3rd Tuesday, September 18 at 8 PM Roxanne Louise will interview Lee Ann Potter, President of ASD. 

  • October 16, Gladys McCoy
  • November 20 TBA
  • December 18 , Soul Detective with Barbara Stone
  • January 15, Jean Slatter

PLEASE LIKE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE Central Virginia Dowsers 

20180616_awardASD:meROXANNE LOUISE is the Founder and Director of Central Virginia Dowsers. She is pictured here with the Educator of the Year Award from ASD, June, 2018 Conference. She acts as Facilitator for the Dowsing Support calls as well as the Discover Dowsing Teleconference Calls. In addition to being a dowser specializing in mental/emotional healing, mind-body issues, habit change, and general problem solving, she is a hypnotherapist who has received 5 national awards including a lifetime achievement from the largest hypnosis organization in the world. She speaks at several hypnosis and dowsing conferences yearly, and has written 8 books on hypnosis, dowsing, Reiki, and self-help. She founded and runs Central Virginia Dowsers based in Charlottesville. Her website is www.RoxanneLouise.com. Her blog with over 118 articles on dowsing, mind-body connection, stress/anger management, and more is UnlimitedPotentialHealingCenter.com. Contact her at 434-263-4337. 

20180629_NF:EG award.jpgRoxanne is aided in large part by NICOLAS FINCK and his wife, ELIZABETH GAINES pictured with their award for “Decades of Dedicated Service” to the West Coast Dowsing Conference, received 7/18. 

Nicolas started and ran the still active dowsing chapter in San Francisco, and he and his wife have been a large part of the bi-annual West Coast Dowsing Conference for many years. They now live in Earlysville, VA.

 

 

Releasing Anger Example

Applying what you know (or think you do!)

This is a rewrite of an article originally written and posted July 9, 2017

ReleasingAngerCoverpng

 

The bad news is that when you write a book on anything, especially mine entitled Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone, the time of sustained focus required to write a book may bring about an experience to apply what you know (or think you do).

(Don’t you just love the Law of Attraction!)

The good news is that you do know (or should know) something to harness that energy constructively and then move it out of your system more quickly than you did in the past.

Think of it as the universe giving you AN EXAM. 

Here is an OPPORTUNITY to prove:

  • Do you know what you are talking about?
  • Or have you just been spouting nice sounding platitudes, airy-fairy nothings, intellectual but useless, impractical, untested, unproven ideas and information? 
  • Do your techniques actually work and make a positive difference?
  • Is there more yet to learn?
  • How can you set things up to avoid similar problems in the future?

So on June 29, 2017, a tenant, as she was moving out of my house, left water running in the upstairs bathroom. Gallons of water poured down from the second floor to the first floor living room, and down to the basement below. Rugs including a large Oriental, a mattress, books, furniture and other things got wet. Almost half of the living room ceiling had to be replaced, and as repairs were later made, drywall dust was everywhere. Most everything  had to be boxed up and moved out of the living room along with the furniture.

Likewise, two basement rooms were disrupted in order to mop up the water and get things out of harm’s way. So not only was my living room unusable for more than a month but so was the dining room and hall, and those two basement rooms as well. 

Immediately taking a long view of the problem, I knew that regardless of how much time, energy, work and out-of pocket expense would be involved, regardless of the bad timing and other demands upon me both health wise and financially, the problem would be eventually fixed, and the house would be restored to it’s former beauty. In other words, the problem was temporary. That tenant is now fully gone from my house, and I have a new, wonderful person living here. I had workmen who would help me clean up the mess.

fullsizeoutput_2cI knew that I needed to harness the anger into constructive action. So I called the appropriate people to get the help and advice I needed, and start and supervise the work.

In the meantime, I did a lot of the Infinite Intelligence Process that I wrote about in my book Accessing More to both dump stress and access my internal guidance and wisdom within.

I did EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), dowsing for emotional healing, and meditation because I did not want the anger to poison me or cause my health to further deteriorate. Plus, I wanted any and all possible contributory factors resolved.

I also did not want to project my anger back to my former tenant as it would then be a curse on her head. Because I believe that we are all connected, the corollary is that what I send out comes back to me.

To help shift my attention, I focused on what I had to be grateful for. What was left? What was good? 

  • Well, certainly the damage could have been much worse.
    • Luckily, I was only away from the house for an hour. Many other precious items in my living room and basement were not ruined even if some got wet, but would have been otherwise.
  • Help was immediately available. 
    • Two farm workers were here that day who immediately came in and helped move furniture, mop up the water, take the worst of the ceiling down, and set up fans to dry everything out to lessen the chance of mold.
    • I quickly located and hired a drywall laborer to reinstall new sheetrock and to paint.
    • A friend put me in touch with a cleaning lady who came after the ceiling was repaired. She helped me take down, wash and rehang all curtains in the living and dining room, wash, dust and vacuum everything on the ground floor and upstairs hallway. The net result was that I ended up with a much cleaner house.
    • My insurance agent came quickly, and although I did not file a claim for various reasons, I got the information I needed. 

Throughout the process, I asked myself:

  • What could I learn and how could I grow from this experience?
  • How I could prevent something like this happening in the future?
  • What I might have done differently that might have prevented it?

In other words, I was actively looking to pull a blessing out of the experience. 

To get all my anger and everything off of my chest I wrote a letter to my tenant. But after writing and rewriting it, I read it to a close friend who is also a lawyer for her input. What upset me most was that my tenant took no responsibility for her actions. Instead she was just blaming me. I felt it necessary that she understand the ramifications of her negligence so she be more careful elsewhere. This stopped the imaginary conversations of what I wished I said to her from continuing to loop in my head.

I learned long ago that:

  1. writing letters that you do not send acts as if you did. It allows you to get everything off of your chest as if you really did say what you wanted to say to them.
  2. pause before sending anything in writing, and then only if you must. Less is better. The written word lasts forever, where spoken ones are quickly forgotten.
  3. Groaning over damage done and what cannot therefore be changed (what’s done is done) is a waste of precious energy. You need to conserve that energy in order to stay healthy and to address the problem.
  4. Complaining to people who cannot help you is an immediate, very short term vent, but counterproductive otherwise.

In fact, complaining or venting beyond the immediate time frame can just be a

  • ploy for sympathy as the ‘victim‘.
  • It can be revenge by getting other people to hate your adversary as well.
  • It can be a substitute for any real action–an excuse not to do anything.
  • It can be justification for your own mistakes and
  • avoidance of any responsibility for what happened, and
  • avoidance of the need to change personally.

Best to talk only to those that can offer some good information and advice while remaining detached emotionally from your issue. And then listen with an open mind.

Only clear eyed, detached processing of everything that happened and why without jumping to attaching blame is helpful. Then accept what can not be changed, create an action plan, and get to work immediately. As you see progress, the quicker your rage will die down.

Personally, I would have loved to had someone just hold me. But since I don’t have a partner, I grabbed a cat and snuggled with him. I sat with my piggies. I hugged my dogs. I looked up at the sky. I picked up and talked to the toads. I noticed some of the abundant sweetness that is on my farm. I remembered that I am loved, that I have meaning and purpose in this world, that this is a beautiful place, and I am choosing to be alive and present. 

At other times and places, I may have made love, watched funny movies, gone dancing or done something nice with friends just to discharge energy and regroup. But what is important is that you actively do something.

There is always something still left to enjoy and appreciate—even a memory to lift your spirit. 

  • Did I pass? I think so.
  • Will I do things differently in future? Absolutely!
  • Will I forget the lessons? No.
  • Can what I learned help someone else? Yes, I know so.

Copyright 8/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

Central Virginia Dowsers Newsletter 8/18/18

EDUCATOR of the YEAR’ Award

presented to Roxanne Louise from the American Society of Dowsers at their June, 2018 conference at New Paltz, New York. Roxanne was also accepted as a Member of the Board of Trustees.

UPCOMING EVENTS20180616_awardASD:me

1. Free Water Dowsing Teleconference, sponsored by the American Society of Dowsers, every 3rd Monday of the month at 8 PM Eastern time each with a different expert water dowser. Recording available to members afterwards at dowsers.org. Next call is August 20, then September 17, October 15, November 19, December 17. To listen in on the call dial 641-715-0866, then enter passcode 175681#. 

2. Free  “Discover Dowsing Teleconference”, Tuesday, August 21 at 8 PM. Recording available to members afterwards at dowsers.org. Roxanne Louise will interview Susan McNeill Spuhler on “Dowsing for Missing Persons, Pets and Items”.  Other speakers/topics for September 18, October 16, November 20, and December 18 to be announced later. Dial (712) 775-7035, then enter Participant Code  436564#.

3. Free Central Virginia Dowsers MEETING in Charlottesville, Sunday, September 9 from 1:15-4 PM. Presentation by Roxanne Louise “Hypnosis for Dowsing”Future topics to be announced for October 14 and November 11 (no meeting in December). 

LOCATION: Senior Center, 491 Hillsdale Drive (street name change – was Pepsi Place) at the corner of Greenbriar (Rt. 29 Northbound), Charlottesville VA 22901. 

Experience hypnosis with multiple suggestions for dowsing successfully and releasing limiting beliefs that interfere. Then learn to quickly go in and out of hypnosis YOURSELF to center, clarify your dowsing intention, and get into a productive dowsing frame of mind. Hypnotically have an anchor installed that triggers the right dowsing of mind every time you pick up your dowsing tools. 

4.  Free Dowsing Support & Continuing Education Teleconference, through the American Society of Dowsers. Every second Tuesday at 8 PM Eastern Time (US). Tuesday, September 12, 8 PM, October 9, November 13, and December 11.  Each month Roxanne Louise assisted by 1-2 other dowsers provides basic dowsing instruction followed by answering questions on any aspect of dowsing. For beginners to advanced. Dial (641) 715-0873, then enter Participant Code 335033#.

20180629_NF:EG award.jpgDECADES of Dedicated Service Award to the West Coast Dowsers 

Our own Elizabeth Gaines and Nicolas Finck won this prestigious award at the July West Coast Dowsers Conference .

I am thrilled that both are now in Virginia helping to run the Central Virginia Dowsers. Nicolas Finck was the originator of the San Francisco dowsing chapter for ASD many years ago. They both have done yeoman work, especially Elizabeth this year at West Coast, all as volunteers. Congratulations! Very well deserved!!!

RECORDINGS AVAILABLE:

American Society of Dowsers Conference, June 13-17, New Paltz, New York. Video and audio recordings avaIlable for purchase of seminars but not workshops afterwards. Call 802-684-3417 or contact www.dowsers.org.

West Coast Dowsers Conference, June 29-July 3, Santa Cruz, California. Video and/or audio recordings avaIlable for purchase of seminars but not workshops afterwards. Contact http://www.dowserswestcoast.org/about-us.html

PLEASE LIKE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE Central Virginia Dowsers 

ROXANNE LOUISE is the Founder and Director of Central Virginia Dowsers. She is aided in large part by NICOLAS FINCK and his wife, ELIZABETH GAINES.

Roxanne acts as Facilitator for the Dowsing Support calls as well as the Discover Dowsing Teleconference Calls. In addition to being a dowser specializing in mental/emotional healing, mind-body issues, habit change, and general problem solving, she is a hypnotherapist who has received 5 national awards including a lifetime achievement from the largest hypnosis organization in the world. She speaks at several hypnosis and dowsing conferences yearly, and has written 8 books on hypnosis, dowsing, Reiki, and self-help. She runs Central Virginia Dowsers based in Charlottesville. Her website is www.RoxanneLouise.com. Her blog with over 118 articles on dowsing, mind-body connection, stress/anger management, and more is UnlimitedPotentialHealingCenter.com. You can reach her at 434-263-4337

 

National Guild of Hypnotist Convention

I have been attending this convention (the largest in the world) every year since 1989, and have yearly been included as a presenter since 1991!!! This year I presented the following: a workshop on “Hypnosis for Mind-Body Healing–Finding and Eliminating the Mental and Emotional Drivers of Disease”, and also a seminar on “Pendulum Dowsing or Hypnotists –Powerful Investigative/Healing/Business Tool!” For information on how you can purchase recordings of any of the talks, contact 603-429-9438, or ngh@ngh.net. 

NGH 2018 photo This photo was taken at the Banquet Photo Shoot. You see me wearing a metal indicating that I was inducted into the Order of Braid, named after James Braid. It is a prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award that I received in 2011. 

James Braid was a surgeon from Scotland (1795-1860), who became one of the earliest and most important figures in the field. Some even call him the ‘father of hypnosis’ because he “removed hypnosis from the occult shadows of mesmerism, through his insights into the nature of trance.” (http://www.historyofhypnosis.org/james-braid)

Braid is also responsible for coining the term ‘hypnosis’ after Hypnos, the Greek god of sleep, because hypnotized persons may look as if they are asleep. Later, Braid realized that hypnosis is not sleep but actually very powerful, focused attention. 

I was also a Vendor at the Convention, selling my books: a complete self-hypnosis course and primer on professional hypnotherapy, stop smoking (one version for the layman, and another for the hypnotherapist to help smokers), releasing anger, therapeutic dowsing (an entire pendulum dowsing course geared to locating and clearing stuck energies and practical problem solving), Reiki (3 volumes integrating Reiki, hypnosis, pain management, and the best of mind-body healing), the Infinite Intelligence Process and more. For a full list and description see https://www.roxannelouise.com/all-books-list.html.  It is always gratifying when so many people tell me that my books are very comprehensive, extremely helpful, and some even consider them the best of their kind. Now that is thrilling!!!

Why should Hypnotherapists learn pendulum dowsing?

Pendulum Dowsing locates issues very fast. It allows you to quickly grasp the broader dynamics so you become more comprehensive and effective!

This translates into greater productivity and client satisfaction, and enhanced reputation, more referrals, and greater job satisfaction for you.

Benefits of Dowsing for the Hypnotherapist:

  • Rapidly locate the root cause and other factors involved in any issue even before a client walks in the door!
  • Pinpoint what needs to be addressed before the intake interview! This can guide the intake process itself by knowing what questions to ask!
  • Establish priorities and a treatment plan!
  • Track client acceptability of various hypnotic interventions and proper pacing!
  • Set up a strategy for problem solving of any kind – personal or professional!
  • Clear causative factors or determine a strategy to do so!
  • Determine the client’s subconscious motivation to solve his problem/reach his goal, do his part to help himself!
  • Quickly determine where a client is stuck and use dowsing to clear it!
  • Use for marketing strategies, finding an office, and a host of other practical business matters!
Dowsing whether done using a forked stick, L-rods, bobber or pendulum is a wonderful way to tune into the vast information stored in the unconscious and superconscious mind. While historically been used to locate water, gold and ores, and more recently applied to locating missing persons, pets, objects such as unexploded bombs, it can be used for literally everything INCLUDING every aspect of your client work, business and personal matters.
As a hypnotherapist, I use it extensively to locate and clear stuck energies, both for myself on a regular basis, and for my clients. Stuck energies include mental and emotional issues and upsets that have piled up and make dealing with current issues, staying healthy or healing if you are ill, achieving your goals, and living your life with enthusiasm and abundant vitality much more difficult. So freeing up this energy is vital to all areas of your life. It includes not just the unpleasant memories but also the negative beliefs and judgments about those events that continue to color your world and limit you in multiple ways including resolving it effectively.

How does energy get stuck?

Basically, energy gets stuck when it is unprocessed. Perhaps when an upset occurred, you or your client didn’t know how to deal with it and, therefore, didn’t. Perhaps you were too young. Perhaps you didn’t have the skills, or the awareness of what you were registering on an unconscious level. Perhaps your family, culture or religion taught you to deny and not express your thoughts and the resulting emotions. So you may have stuffed your feelings instead of quickly resolving them thereby avoiding future issues.
On the other hand, even if you had the awareness of the importance of resolving issues and even the therapeutic skills, you may have had neither the time or energy to do so. This frequently happens during a crisis, ill health, or overwhelm. By the time the emergency passes, you may be so busy on catching up on other needed tasks, that you lack any interest in going back to dealing with past unpleasantries.

The Unpleasant Wake-Up Call

As you are aware, unprocessed negative emotions and the non-beneficial thoughts have a way of surfacing as illness, insomnia, nightmares, relationship issues, increasing irritation, explosive bursts of anger, depression, malaise, and problems of all types. Consequently, it is important process them as quickly as possible. However, many times what you think is resolved does not stop the negative repeating pattern. This indicates that you never addressed the root cause or other important factors.

Dowsing can help!

This is where dowsing is profoundly helpful to locate what you missed. Yes,  you can do hypnotic regression work, or unconscious healing modalities, but all are very time consuming and require the assistance of someone else (if it is for yourself). Here is where you can do powerful self-healing as well as cut to the chase with your clients as well.

dowsing cover frontUpcoming SEMINAR at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention being held in Marlborough, Massachusetts, August 10-12, 2018: 

On Saturday, 8/11 at 2 PM, I will be presenting “Pendulum Dowsing for Hypnotists–Powerful Investigative/Healing/Business Tool”. Here, not only will I outline the benefits, but give you a demonstration, answer your questions, and, hopefully, motivate you to learn this incredible helpful tool!

For more information see https://new.ngh.net/seminars-workshops-glance/

 

 

On Being Acknowledged

20180616_awardASD:me

Educator of the Year Award

At the June, 2018 American Society of Dowsers Convention held in New Paltz, New York, I was honored with the Educator of the Year Award.

20180621_ASDaward

This is not the first time I have been given a National Award. I have five from hypnosis organizations (the list is here). And while I regularly teach at national and regional dowsing conferences, run Central Virginia Dowsers, monthly Dowsing Support Teleconference Calls, and have written 9 books and over 118 articles on hypnosis, dowsing, self help, mind-body healing, etc, NONETHELESS it means a great deal to be recognized, not just for me, but for anyone.

The importance of recognition

Being seen, heard, appreciated, publicly acknowledged for whatever contribution we make in life is one of the best gifts we can receive and give to another. Many people go through life feeling invisible, and that their work, loyalty, dependability, kindness and consideration, their going the ‘extra mile’ are taken for granted. That is devastating to the human spirit, causing resentment, bitterness, anger or great sadness. Worse, it causes people to sometimes give up instead of continuing to do their work. The world suffers then as a result.

It doesn’t matter if that work is Mom reliably making your meals, washing your clothes, getting you to school on time. Or it is someone that opens the store every day on time, comes and feeds your animals so you can go away, takes you to the airport, does favors large or small, or fills in the countless gaps where we need and count upon others to help us. Everyone needs to be acknowledged for what they do.

How wonderful if we each could notice and thank others – not just with a superfluous ‘thank you’, but by gripping of the person’s hands, looking them in the eyes, and really conveying genuine appreciation. Let them feel your heart. Being seen and heard and appreciated are vital to the human spirit. Indeed, it is vital for health and life itself. Feeling valued, feeling that we are important, and an integral part of the group is the glue that holds all meaningful relationships together — families, friendships, neighborhoods, communities, businesses, organizations and more. 

Recognition does not mean giving a trophy to every participant, or an award where there was no meaningful effort. Such plaques are empty, even insulting. But it does mean  acknowledging in appropriate ways for the degree of service that is provided or effort made. The best award is one in which others agree that ‘you deserved it’ and can celebrate with you for a job well done. Yet, even small acts of kindness, good manners or common civility should be acknowledged. Someone who has just opened the door for you deserves to be looked in the face when saying ‘thank you‘. Shake the hand of the person who has carried your groceries or loaded your car. Because…

Gratitude blesses the giver as well as the receiver. 

And as to the person who receives the acknowledgment, it is a testament to their rising to the occasion whether there was rain or snow, whether they were tired or having a bad day themselves, whether it was difficult or not. They showed up that day and the next, and the next, to do their part. They noticed a need and fulfilled it. They stepped up to the plate. Yet…

Each of us stands on the shoulders of those that have gone before.

Awards not only honor those that receive them, but to the countless others who taught , mentored or coached them in developing character, discipline, responsibility, skills and expertise, and most important, humanity.

Behind every successful person are dozens of others that helped them along the way.

There is a saying that ‘behind every successful man is a woman’. But in truth, each of us is the person we are today because of others teaching, guiding, inspiring, supporting, and believing in us. No one achieves anything on their own. And in thanking that person, you are also thanking their parents and elders, their teachers, their pastor, their supporters and heroes.

This awareness helps to balance the ego. Yes, the one recognized can be rightfully proud of their achievements and what it took to get there. They can and should honor their own personal dedication and decision to be of service in any way they could, large or small. And at the same time, they should turn around to thank those who made it possible.

20180625_Dad

So, in addition to countless others who have helped me including my spiritual team, I want to thank my father, William Erwin Wackenhuth, for what I have achieved and the person I am still in process of becoming. He was a man who dropped out of high school at 16 to go to work as a draftsman. Yet he finished Newark’s Arts High School, then college at Newark College of Engineering and all but the final part of his Master’s Degree, all by going nights and walking miles each day just to save the trolley car fare.

He was a highly intelligent man, lifelong mechanical engineer, inventor, teacher at General Motors, ham radio operator, Sunday school teacher, devoted son, brother, husband and father. He was a Christian who lived by an examined (not blind) faith, and a man of enormous integrity, and dedication to his family. As many have said of him, ‘they broke the mold’ after he died. Yet, I see his legacy being passed on through my son. And I witness others who also were molded by men and women of strong character that are making an impact in their world. It is my hope that these traits become dominant in the American people once more.

 

Blessings in Disguise

All of us can probably think of things like romances, houses, jobs, relocations and more that seemed great at the beginning, but then proved not so great. Maybe even after the luster wore off, we may have hung in there because of our investment in time and money, or not wanting to ‘rock the boat’,  security, or because ‘the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.’ Perhaps we tried to hang on because of embarrassment, or not wanting to admit that we were wrong or made a mistake.

We probably also know of those sudden change of fortune — breakups, job or business losses, disappointments or rejections — that seemed to be so horrible at the time, but which led eventually to something much better, and to much needed growth. 

We never know how things will turn out

There is an oft told Sufi story about a farmer whose son found a wild horse. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed, “that your son has this new horse!” “Maybe yes, and maybe no,” said the farmer.

Then the son as he was ‘breaking’ this horse, was thrown off it’s back and broke his leg. “How awful,” said the neighbors, “that your son broke his leg.” Again, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, and maybe no.” 

Then war came to the region and all the young men in the village were rounded up to go into battle. “How wonderful,” said the neighbors, “that your son doesn’t have to go to war.” And once again, the farmer replied, “Maybe yes, and maybe no.” 

A true story

My friend, Nelson was told by his boss on a Friday to take his department of 40 people out to lunch and deliver the bad news that because of the Japanese buyout of their firm, that the entire department was being let go.

So after lunch, the security guards walked everyone back to their desk to pick up a 2-week severance check and their personal items before being escorted out the door.

On Friday, they were all in shock and thinking it was something terrible that just happened to them. But on Tuesday, all those not dismissed were dead because they worked on the very floor of one of the Twin Towers in Lower Manhattan where one of the planes came through. The date was 9/11.

Sometimes what looks like the worst thing that could have happened to you turns out to be the best thing that could have happened!

 

Perhaps we can acknowledge that the job, business, home or relationship we lost had it’s downsides. There may have been things about it that we didn’t like, that we barely tolerated, that were highly stressful, that hemmed us in, that limited our ability to grow or explore as we grew. We may recognize that what we had and once wanted was no longer so, and that we were moving, or about to move, or needed to move in a different direction. 

Sometimes, what we lost might have been okay or even good while it lasted, but sudden events caused us to move on to something that was even better and more fulfilling. It might have opened up many new experiences, and to explore other parts of ourselves in wonderful ways that otherwise would not have happened.

Another true story

A couple living in California lost their home and all of their possessions in one of the wild fires that came through their canyon. Totally stressed and not knowing what to do next, they left their jobs, and decided to take six months off while they considered their options.

Deciding to buy and move into a small RV, they started wandering the many national parks. They enjoyed it so much that they started writing a blog, and then went on the speaking circuit to motorhome enthusiasts discussing various aspects of living in a motorhome full time, nice places to visits, and how to make money on the road. It became their new livelihood. They were very happy in their new life and considered the house fire a blessing.

I followed them for a few years while I was doing a small bit of the same after a divorce. 

And another true story

A friend of mine in Ohio was woken up by her cat who would just not let her spend a minute more in bed. As she came into consciousness, she smelled smoke. And indeed, the house was on fire. Both she and the cat got out safely. Luckily, the kids had already gone to school and her husband was at work.

The back of this 19th century farm house burnt down. But the rest of the entire house and all the possessions were either soaked and destroyed from water from the firemen’s hoses, or saturated with smoke. All the clothes, rugs, upholstery, and many other belongings had to be trashed. 

The family had a trailer brought onto the property as they too decided what to do next. They knew that they wanted to stay there and rebuild as they had friends and roots. But how to rebuild? 

My friend gave everyone a sheet of paper. She, her husband and each of the three kids all wrote out their wish list for a ‘dream house’, ideal bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, etc.

Knowing their budget from the insurance, they devised plans on the most important wish list items. The kids got their own bedrooms, and a bath with double sinks and a shower. My friend got a large working area of the kitchen with a large center island open to a dining area of the kitchen big enough for company. She wanted and got a sewing room. Her husband got a comfortable t.v. room and a recliner. 

In short, they end up with a wonderful, beautiful, totally renovated and updated ‘new’ house, along with new clothes, new furniture that they couldn’t have afforded ANY OTHER WAY!

My story

More than two decades ago, I was praying to fulfill my purpose or mission in life. Immediately, my marriage fell apart. One day my husband said that he didn’t know if he wanted to be married anymore. I was devastated. Yes, I knew we had problems, but I am one that hangs in there always hoping that things will improve even though I was also not satisfied in the relationship. 

Soon after I had a dream about a dilapidated but once beautiful house. It needed tons of work – work that was daunting. Everything had to be renovated even though the house ‘bones’ were good. I was so discouraged and not sure that I was really wanted to go through what it would require to be beautiful again. It could be better for sure, but was it going to be worth it?  Would enough get done so that I would be happy with it?

Then I found out that he was being unfaithful. That was the final straw and was the one thing that would allow me permission to file for divorce. Indeed, it pushed me to do so and move on with my life. And it turned out to be the best possible thing that could have happened. Today, I am grateful for his bad behavior, because it freed me from a toxic situation full of constant lies and distrust. 

Conclusion

While like the Sufi farmer, we may not know where life is leading us when hit with what appears to be a sudden loss of good fortune. But we can make a decision that we are going to learn from and grow through it. And that one way or another, we are going to make these sudden changes work for us – even bless us and others.

As I have written about in previous blog articles, you might ask:

  • If it could work, how might it work?
  • If something good can come out of this, what might that be?
  • How can I turn this into an opportunity? 
  • How can I grow through this experience?
  • What can I learn from this that not only helps me, but helps someone else?

In short:

  • How can I turn this into a blessing?

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Copyright 6/2018 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com are included with the content.

 

 

 

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