PUBLISHED: Releasing Anger without Killing Anyone!

Just Published!!!!

beartoons-anger    Cartoon citation: beartoons.com

Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone!

by Roxanne Louise

An entire Anger Management Course!

Teach right out of the book!

Use it to help yourself! Use it to help others! 

A jam-packed guide on how to:

√ Turn anger into a blessing! 

√ Shift anger into constructive action! 

√ Use your challenges to improve yourself, your business, relationships & your life!

    • Understand the underlying dynamics! 
    • Change how you look at things so that they don’t bother you nearly as much! 
    • Make your enemies & problems help you! 
    • Harness anger as motivation to heal & make much needed change! 
    • Communicate more effectively! 
    • Fight clean! 
    • Stop conversations from spiraling downwards! 
    • Notice negative patterns & screw them up! 
    • Take effective action without the baggage!
    • Enjoy your life despite the crap!

Jam Packed Tips, Strategies, Techniques & Visualizations! 

Turn Everything Into a Blessing!

154 pages. Just $29.95 plus $5 shipping.  Order here: https://www.roxannelouise.com/releasing-anger.html

In addition to covering this information with clients over the years, I have taught this material at numerous hypnosis conventions including workshops at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention and the National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists.

 

Dealing With Challenge? Find the Blessing or the Opportunity

“NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION” 

(English-language proverb)

Need is the primary driving force.

When I have a problem, I found that if I can turn my attitude from despair into curiosity, everything changes. Instead of feeling irritation, frustration, stuck or hopeless, the thought “I wonder if ___” immediately sets me on a path to discovery and creativity that can even be fun. Once the mental wheels are turning, the energy is flowing again, and I know that it is only a matter of time before I find some answers that lead to improvement, progress and, hopefully, solution. If I become stuck along the way, I might ask:

“I wonder who could help me with this?”

I wonder how ___ would go about this?”

“I wonder if ___ could work, how would it work?”

The key for the attitude shift is to turn it from a problem into just a puzzle to be solved.

For some of us and for some problems, it is easier to adopt this attitude of  curiosity that leads to creativity than for other challenges. So, for example, I get turned on with excitement when a client brings me an emotional problem because I know how to deal with it. While they may feel hopeless, I am not because I have ideas of how to resolve it, and I find that fun and immensely satisfying. However, if my car breaks down, I am better off going to a car mechanic who likes those kinds of challenges that I find very frustrating and for which I have neither the talent, skill or inclination to try to sort out myself.

Look for the opportunity

More than inventions come from solving problems–so do livelihoods, businesses, trade, books, speaking engagements, social programs and progress of all kinds. I am not implying that you can turn your problem into profit, but if you could …?

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

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Can you do something with the problem that is presented to you? 

Can you turn it into something useful?

For example, I have a small homestead and have found a way to use or recycle almost everything. If I find broken eggs, I feed them to the animals. Old vegetables go to the pigs. Egg shells get ground up and fed back to the chickens. I compost the poop, dirty bedding, feed bags. Dirty egg cartons go into the wood stove. Moldy hay gets spread on bare dirt to make it less slippery in the rain or used as mulch. A friend uses broken china and pottery and makes incredible mosaics. The old folks took old clothes and made patchwork quilts or rag rugs. You get the idea. Ask

“How can I use this?” or “How can I make this work for me?”

Look for the Blessing

Sometimes this process can be started with a question such as “what can I learn from this to be better?”  The moment I take note and apply it, I have extracted value from the experience. If I am not consciously aware of the blessing, I say “there is a part of me that can use this experience to make me better or wiser in some way. And that part is doing so now in a way in which I am really pleased.”

Think of your challenges as education. They are helping you to build important life experience and expertise (knowledge and skill that comes from dealing with experiences). They are part of your path to wisdom. Accept it. Transmute and transform it into a blessing both for you and the world. A sense of humor helps.

Photo Citation: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/agree-terms.php?id=100314621

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Life Provides Three Kinds of Teachers

Somewhere I heard that a tribe of the American Indians consider that we can have three kinds of teachers.

The Positive Example

The first is one that teaches us by their words and life how to be, how to live, and what is important. They provide answers to the questions of life. Not only is their teaching true and helpful, but they walk their talk. You are truly blessed if you have this shining example in your life as a guide.

However, the downside is that their teaching is taken on faith without examination. Their lessons may be learned by rote. With unquestioning acceptance of what is said, their student may not learn how to learn, how to find the answers to what was not provided, how to evaluate information, or to obtain continuing wisdom on their own. They may not learn how to handle or adapt changing times or situations not encountered by your teacher.

If you are accustomed to simply accepting what you are told and later meet an imperfect teacher, or imperfect followers of the perfect teacher, or if your teacher who had previously been a shining example gets caught up in ego and deviates from the path, you may not have developed your power of discernment to prevent you from also being led astray. Or you may chuck the whole teaching, throwing out what was good and valuable as well as what was not.

Another possibility is that although the teacher of the positive example found answers that were right for their own life and faithfully reported them to you, what was right for them may not be right for you or right at this point in time. You still have to process what you are being taught and told through the still small voice within you.

The Negative Example

The second type of teacher is someone who teaches you how to be and how to live by providing a strong contrast of how not to be or how not to live. Those who present the negative path are very powerful teachers also and can actually help you to set a better course for yourself.

For example, if a parent abandons his children, you, as one of those children, may make a commitment to never abandon your own children because you experienced first hand the pain of that experience. As a result, your children are blessed. If you had been around someone who taunted, humiliated, or verbally degraded you, you may learn to always think before you speak and to respect the feelings of others. This makes you nicer to be around. However,

learning is optional and never guaranteed.

The downside to the negative example is that you may simply judge and condemn this kind of teacher without ever finding the positive lesson. You may dwell in anger, bitterness or resentment, and may, unwittingly become like the very person you detest.

The Coyote

The third type is the coyote teacher. This type does not provide all of the answers or provides answers that are confusing. They may give you only part of what you need and want to know. They sometimes tell you things that are true and helpful, but they may also tell you things that are false or hurtful, providing both positive and negative examples. The bottom line is that the Coyote forces you to dig down deep inside of yourself to find the answers for yourself . They push you to find your own truth and wisdom.

All types of teachers have value.

Indeed, as you think of your parents and other family members, your school teachers, friends and associates, you may have had all kinds in your life already. The point is:

LEARN FROM ALL!

The moment you learn, the moment you find the blessing, it takes the sting out of painful experiences and relationships, and removes confusion and discord. It also leads to greater understanding, acceptance and tolerance.

So, the questions are:

Is what I am hearing true? Is it always true? Can I still trust this message?

Is this example trustworthy, something that I want to emulate?

What can I learn from this person, this relationship, this interchange, positive or negative?

What is good that I admire and respect?

What is the positive opposite of what I am witnessing that I do not admire or respect, or dislike?

How can I use the words, message, example, positive or negative, of this person to be a better person myself?

What is the message others are getting from my life, my words and actions, my example?

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Derailing the Train to Negative Emotions

How to Recognize and Interrupt the Downward Spiral!

Emotions follow thought. As you notice your thoughts, you can predict their emotional outcome, and deliberately shift them to get to a more desirable emotional end result. Thought substitution is an easy way to do this because you cannot think of two things at once.

Thought substitution is NOT to deny your ‘negative’ thoughts or feelings. It is not being a Pollyanna or sticking your head in the sand. But it is a shift in focus to what you can do, to what you do want to create, and on the priorities of the moment. It is a shift to possibility thinking. And it can start off as simply holding a question or statement in mind.

WHY DO THIS?
1. Some, perhaps many, of your thoughts, beliefs, judgments as well as those of others can be unsubstantiated, unchallenged, and quite possibly untrue. So why stress yourself out if you don’t know for sure?

2. You may not really know your true limits. Your beliefs and the beliefs of others that you listen to can be stopping you before you really test those limits.

3. You may not be harnessing your inner resources without which you can never know what can or cannot be achieved.

4. The negative opinion of others (even that of experts) can be wrong. Remember that people thought that the earth was flat, and that you would drop off if you sailed too far. Remember also that it was thought that it was impossible to run a mile under 4 minutes. Then Roger Bannister came along.

5. Finally, you understand the precious quality of your mind to create reality, and choose not to squander it’s energy, but to work to create only a life, world that you want, instead of what you don’t want.

Copyright by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

Stopping the Downward Spiral of Emotions

Emotions follow thought. Santa Cruz Vending 7:16 copy

As you notice your thoughts, you can predict their emotional outcome, and deliberately shift them to get to a more desirable emotional end result.

Thought substitution is an easy way to do this because you cannot think of two things at once.

This is never to deny your feelings or thoughts as denial leads to more problems. But rather it is to recognize that holding or dwelling on some thoughts or emotional states is counter productive and you pay a price for that. Making wise decisions so that you can take the most constructive, effective action requires being able to think clearly.

Emotional control starts with thought stopping and switching.

Furthermore, it is recognition that many thoughts, beliefs and judgments are based on faulty interpretations or world view that hinder you from overcoming challenges or achieving your goals. Such counterproductive thoughts or judgments may have been absorbed or adopted by you years ago without being examined consciously as an adult. Are they really accurate assessments of what is real or possible? Shift them as necessary.

Here are simple ways to shift

1. Shift to a question.

If the thought is “I can’t, I mustn’t, it’ll never work”. Change it to a question of the opposite: “what if I could, what if I can, what if it could work?” All will stimulate your thinking to look for solution, possibilities.

2. Shift emotion by decision.

If you have a bad experience, you could make a decision that it is going to work for your positive advantage even though you cannot possibly know if that will be the case. This decision will stimulate you to look for and possibly find constructive ways to turn that situation around.

“I turn this to my positive advantage.” or “I make this work for me.”

3: Affirm inner resources to solve problems.

If you are feeling stressed, you could affirm that there is greater wisdom, creativity and strength within you that knows how to solve problems and handle whatever you have to do. Then affirm that these inner resources can be harnessed to do so. The truth is that you cannot know the true limits of your inner resources so why not affirm that there is more ability within you? Why not think that you are capable of rising to the occasion and overcoming problems and achieving goals? This can have the immediate effect of calming you down and moving forward.

fullsizeoutput_2c I do this through what I call The Infinite Intelligence Process, which is fully explained in my book, Accessing More – Tapping Into the Eternal, Unlimited Self with the Infinite Intelligence Process. Below is a sample wording:

“There is a part of my being that knows how to handle this with grace and ease, and is doing so now,” or “there is a part of my being that can resolve this issue, and I am being guided to what I need to do and how to proceed,” or “there is a part of my being that knows who can help me with this, and I am being directed now.” 

4: Challenge negative authoriity figures.

If someone else says that you can’t do something, that it will never work, you can challenge their authority to know. In your mind, negate the value of their opinion. The truth is that when someone offers their opinion, even their educated opinion, it is only from what they have studied, what they have experienced, and does not include what they have not studied or experienced.

For example, medical doctors are experts in drugs and surgery, but not in nutrition, energy work or the healing power of prayer, stress management, forgiveness and loving relationships–all of which have a powerful ability to heal. Even within any given profession, the experts frequently disagree. This is why we are advised to seek a second or third medical opinion. Same thing goes for all other experts as well.

Before you accept the opinion of others, determine how knowledgable and experienced that opinion really is on the given topic. Within every profession there are those that find solutions to problems that their colleagues think are unsolvable. And outside of the profession there are those that sometimes come up with creative solutions that work. Why not let that creative problem solver be you?

“What does he know?”or “That’s what he thinks. He’s not an expert. He only knows ___, not ____.”

Or “if there was another way to go about this, what might that be? How can I look at this situation differently?”

Affirm that you are going to find a solution to any important issue.

“I find a way to make it work, I find the answers I need, etc.”

When you are clear about what you want, when you are determined to achieve your goal, you harness both internal resources and external assistance to do so. This gives success your best shot.

5: Focus on what you can do or what you need to do right now.

“What can I do right now to help this situation?”

Write a list and sort out priorities.

“What is the most important thing I need to focus upon?” “What is the first thing I need to do?”

6: Use affirmations and counter thoughts

Repeat any helpful suggestion or counter thought in your mind over and over to blot out the negative thoughts that prevent you from solving the problem.

7. Walking Mantras

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Walking Mantras are positive counter thoughts or affirmation in the form of a little jingle that you repeat rhymically to match to steady movements such a walking steps. I list a great many more in my self-hypnosis book, Your Unlimited Potential, along with an entire chapter on stress management, but here are some:

I find a way that works for me.

Sooner or later I figure it out. 

I learn and move on.

I get everything done on time.

8. Singing

After you have done what you can and your thoughts are still run-a-way negative, you can perhaps shift with singing a song, preferably a happy tune or inspirational one. Or just listen to music. Dancing also helps. They interrupt the pattern and instantly shift mood.

9. Jokes

Tell a joke or ask someone to tell you one, and then quickly retell to others. The humor will release internal tensions, and shift your mood quickly. I did this when I was going through a divorce. It helped a great deal. See another blog article, Using Humor to Defuse Anger! 

10. Exercise

Physical work or exercise gets tension out of the body. Because you also have to pay some attention to what you are doing, it takes away from negative ruminations.

11. Concentrate on anything else

Do anything that requires complete concentration.

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION:

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My book Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone is full of visualizations, exercises, and information that helps you to transmute not just anger, but other disturbing emotions.

Copyright 2015 by Roxanne Louise. However, this article may be shared in other free online sources only if this copyright notice and link to http://www.roxannelouise.com and http://unlimitedpotentialhealingcenter.com  are included with the content.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: http://www.roxannelouise.com or call 434-263-4337

Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone!

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I just returned from teaching at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention in Marlboro, Massachusetts. It is the largest professional hypnosis conference in the world, and always a treat to attend, which I have done yearly since 1989. I have been a regular presenter there since 1992, and was honored by them in 2011 with a Lifetime Achievement Award, the Order of Braid, named after James Braid, the Scottish surgeon considered the father of Hypnotherapy!!! (See information on Braid, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Braid_(surgeon)

My topics this year were Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone and a two-hour workshop on What to Do When Stress Is Over the Top! Both were well attended, and for good reason. Stress is a major problem with our fast-paced lifestyle.

28473e803e35e109e67ed86c222bfda6   In preparation for my presentations, I put together a 32 page booklet on Releasing Anger assembled from a lifetime of study and practical application on the subject. It is filled to the brim on

√ How to shift anger and improve yourself and your life at the same time,

√ How to harness anger so it actually works for you, and

√ How to make your adversaries help you!

This fluff-free manual was written both for you to help yourself, and to use to help others!

Here is some of the content:

Understanding the Underlying Dynamics

Changing how you look at things so that they don’t hurt nearly as much!

Making anger work for you!

Using your enemies and problems to actually help you!

Using anger as motivation for much needed healing and change!

Communicating more effectively!

Fighting clean!

Stopping conversations that are spiraling downwards!

Noticing negative patterns and screwing them up!

Nipping anger in the bud!

How to use journal writing effectively!

Taking effective action without the baggage!

Using positive counter thoughts, walking mantras and more!

Regaining balance and perspective!

Dealing with what is 

Incident Review Worksheet

At just $12.95 with $3 shipping or $5 priority, it is a real bargain as it gets right to the chase. No filler!

BONUS: As a bonus for your order, we will include a handout with directions for doing the Emotional Freedom Technique.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: http://www.roxannelouise.com or call 434-263-4337

National Guild of Hypnotists Convention, August 7-9

10352395_817109968379998_8072222321633381639_nOnce again, I am presenting at the National Guild of Hypnotists Convention–the largest hypnosis convention in the world–this August. It takes place in Marlboro, Massachusetts. For information, see https://ngh.net/training/2015-ngh-annual-convention. 

I have been asked to teach there every year since 1992, and have attended since 1989. People come from around the world to share their knowledge. It is an exciting event.

This year on Friday, 8/7 at 1 PM, I will be teaching Releasing Anger Without Killing Anyone! — Make All Your Emotions Work for You! I will discuss how anger is a choice in response based on perception. Because perception can be changed, this means that anger can dissolve instantly as it does. I will teach attendees how to harness anger to grow, heal, and move powerfully ahead, and then how to discharge it safely. Simple techniques and visualizations can really help.

On Saturday, 8/8 at 9 AM, I will be teaching What To Do When Stress Is Over the Top! — Strategies and Techniques That Work! I will go over the Emotional Freedom Technique, Tapas, Infinite Intelligence Process, and many techniques as well as strategies and attitudes that make a difference.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: see our main website: http://www.roxannelouise.com or call 434-263-4337